


Hard Landing Part Two

by JadeMoon



Series: Hard Landing [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fans & Fandom, Anger, Angst, Deja Vu, Drama, Eventual Smut, Everything happens for a reason, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Romance, Smut, Stick with it and I promise you'll get your happy ending, Work In Progress, feeling betrayed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-07-29 07:22:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 160
Words: 134,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16259411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JadeMoon/pseuds/JadeMoon
Summary: Chase wakes up in her own world after what she feels is being callously sent back by those people she'd come to love. She has to readjust to her life at home now and in doing so takes all precautions to avoid making the same mistake twice. The powers that be, however, have other plans for our girl.





	1. Chapter 1

Chase snaps awake, sitting straight up in bed. She doesn’t recognize her surroundings and immediately panics. She tumbles out of the bed, yelling for Friday to turn on the lights, but nothing happens. She bangs her shin on something sharp and cries out. She eventually finds the light and flips the switch.

It takes almost a full minute for her to process what she’s seeing. She’s in her old apartment, in her old bedroom. 

“No. No, this...this isn’t happening. Bucky? BUCKY!” she screams running out of the room. She bounces off of now unfamiliar walls and runs into furniture she’s forgotten she had. There is no Bucky. No Steve. Her hand goes to her stomach...Bruce said she was pregnant…

What day is this? How did she end up home? It wasn’t a dream, it couldn’t have been. 

She scrambles to find something with the date on it. She turns on all the lights in her tiny apartment, finally finding her old laptop. It takes an eternity to power on….

The date is five days before she crashed. She crashed on a Thursday almost two months ago. Today is Saturday, but it’s the same month as the day of the crash. How is this possible? What the fuck is going on? 

She sits down on the couch and tries desperately to remember what the fuck happened. All her heart wants to remember is Bucky and Steve and Tony. She doesn’t fight the tears that come. She opens up a secure document file and types out everything she remembers in hopes she can piece together how she got here. 

It takes hours for her to enter everything she remembers. Meeting Bucky for the first time, falling in love with him. Tony telling her his mother would have loved her. Meeting Peter out in Skidville when she and Bucky had a fight. Adding Steve to the mix. Bucky walking out on her...the hospital room…

She sits back on her busted ass couch, shivering even though she isn’t cold. They had sent her back. They had all agreed to send her back. Dr. Strange had fed them some shit about her needing to go. Steve gave her a speech about tough decisions. Tony and Bucky apologizing. Bruce sitting in a chair too stunned to speak…

They’d sent her back. They’d sent her back like she meant nothing to any of them. 

Strange told her she wouldn’t remember what happened, but he was wrong. He was so very, very wrong. She remembers. She remembers everything now that the fog has lifted. They abandoned her to Dr. Strange’s whims and she’d been banished back to her own realm. No say in the matter, no trial, no jury, just banished. 

That’s what breaks her. That’s what tears her soul apart and makes her heart feel like it’s been shattered. She remembers. And they didn’t care enough to try and save her. 


	2. The Next Couple of Days

Chase spends the rest of the morning alternating between crying and trying to acclimate herself to her home again. Her whole body hurts, she’s dehydrated from crying and she’s never felt so alone in her entire life. Nothing here offers her any comfort. 

The day is spent cleaning, and doing laundry. Mundane tasks to fill her time. She takes any and all Marvel Universe items she’s collected over the years, including the MCU Collection she was so proud of, boxes them up and takes them to the curb where she leaves them for trash pickup. She wants nothing to do with it. Let the vultures take what they will. That world is gone and she wants nothing in here that will remind her more of what was taken from her. 

She gets no sleep that night, tossing and turning, replaying every interaction she’d had with them. It was the final act in the medical room that hurts the most. It had all been lies. All of it. From all of them. How could you just throw away someone you claim you love so much? Who does that?

Sunday she forces herself to get out of the apartment before she goes stir crazy. She walks around town, goes into the little boutique shops, goes to her bank to make sure she’s still got an account. The teller looked at her like she was on crack. Maybe if she was this whole fucking scenario would make more goddamn sense.

Sunday night she sets an alarm. Her old phone is there. All the old numbers for friends and family there. She doesn’t want to talk to them. Not just yet. 

Monday morning the alarm goes off and she gets ready for work. Her car is in the parking lot, in one piece, the silver covered in early morning dew. She gets in and starts the engine. Nothing out of the ordinary happens. She puts the car in drive and then stops. She looks at the road and thinks about her path to work. The path that she’d crashed on and that subsequently landed her in the other place. Not today, Satan. She’ll take the longer route. She may be late, but she’s not going to chance going through this goddamn hell again. 


	3. Oh Shit

A month has passed since she was dropped back into her own world. A month of mundane shit, but Chase has to admit that the repetitive normalcy is helping her cope. She’s able to sleep at night, albeit with the help of OTC sleep aids. She’s hung out with friends and family. They’ve all commented on how distant she seems and keep demanding to know what’s wrong. She smiles and tells them she’s not sleeping and she’s just tired. Offers to take her to see a doctor abound. She graciously declines. 

The new Infinity War movie is all over the news as the biggest collaboration in Marvel movie history. She changes the channel or turns the TV off when it comes on. She doesn’t care. She can’t. She focuses on her anger, on the betrayal. They kicked her out. She doesn’t need to care about people who couldn’t give two shits about her. 

There is comfort in the repetitiveness she’s doing. Nothing changes. Nothing happens. She gets up, goes to work, comes home, showers, goes to bed. Wash, rinse, repeat. Aside from family and friends pestering her to hang out, nothing notable has happened. For this she is eternally grateful. 

She’d avoided taking the road that caused her issue for over a month. Nothing doing. Everything seemed to be going fine. But the Universal Powers were not so satisfied with this. 

One night Chase left work later than usual. It was pouring down rain. The sky was black, thunder roared and now and again you could see flashes of lightning illuminating the sky. She had a fear of lightning now, for obvious reasons. She made it a point never to go anywhere when it was storming, regardless of who was driving or where she needed to be. Tonight would be the exception it seems. Her option was to get locked inside the building she worked in or chance driving home in the storm. The office was no place to spend the night, the cleaning staff were known creepers. Chase decided to take her chances. She’d be avoiding the road she’d gotten struck by lightning with and that should account for something. 

She ran to her car, getting thoroughly soaked in the process. The rain was so heavy that visibility was almost nothing. She started the car, turned on the headlights and the defrosters and crept out of the parking lot and onto the road home.

So far so good, it seemed. Traffic was moving slow due to the storm. Or so she thought. It wasn’t long before they were at a standstill, no one moving in either direction. Nearly a half hour of sitting and the vehicles in front of her start to move. 

“Finally,” she grumbles. They creep along and she sees a rain soaked cop directing traffic up ahead. He’s making them all go….

“No. No no no no no no,” she says defiantly. She looks behind her for a way to turn around, already knowing full well there won’t be one. There are no other roads to get home on. It’s this road, that is closed off for some reason or the road of doom….

“Nope,” she snaps. She pulls up next to the cop and rolls down her window.

“Keep moving, ma’am,” he barks.

“Is there any chance I can just go straight?”

“Keep moving, ma’am. This road is washed out. There is no way to go straight.”

People behind her are honking. She’s got no choice now. She merges onto that road - Lee Stans Road. The irony is not lost on her, nor is she amused by it. 

“Whatever you’re about to do,” she yells at the sky, “don’t fucking do it.”

The vehicles in front of her come to a stop again. She mutters curses and does some deep breathing to try and calm her nerves. 

A lumber truck laden with tree trunks goes barreling up the left side of the road, headed in the wrong direction. If this isn’t some Final Destination shit right here…

Lightning flashes and thunder booms overhead making her jump. The vehicles start creeping forward again. Suddenly she sees all of them start driving off the shoulder of the road and into the field next to the road. 

“What the fu-”

The lumber truck is now barreling down the road in the right direction but using the middle of the road as its own personal lane, weaving and hitting cars. She’s blinded by the headlights, another loud clap of thunder explodes over head and she feels the impact of the truck as it collides with her little car…..


	4. Why? Just...why?

Chase opens her eyes slowly. Her whole body hurts in ways she did not think possible. The room is dimly lit, but she can see medical equipment - O2 monitor, pulse monitor, BP…

The fucker in the truck hit her. Motherfucker.

She goes to sit up and her head spins violently. Well, that won’t do. She tries to move so she can see if there’s a call button around. There’s a nagging feeling eating at her about this room, but she hurts to much to focus on it. 

She finds the call button and presses it repeatedly even though she knows once is enough. It makes her feel a little better. She looks around the room again as best she can then at herself. There are what appear to be bruises on her arms, huge black masses that even in the dim light look horrifying. 

“Welcome back to the land of the living,” a nurse says entering the room. 

“What happened?” she rasps. Her throat is dry and her mouth feels like it’s full of cotton.

“From what we could gather you had a pretty bad accident. Your car is destroyed. We aren’t sure how you survived,” the nurse says calmly. She comes over and lifts one of Chase’s hands to check her pulse manually. Chase winces. The pain is ridiculous.

“How long was I out?”

“Almost two days. That was one hell of an entrance you made from what I understand.”

Chase’s stops breathing and her heart starts racing wildly. 

“Easy. Easy,” the nurse says stroking Chase’s head like she’s a small child. “You’re safe here.”

“Where is here?” Chase already knows. She already knows and now she knows why she has that nagging feeling that all this is familiar. Because it is. Goddammit….

“Avengers Tower. You landed in the middle of a street and Mr. Stark and Miss Potts brought you to us.”


	5. Waking Up In The Tower - Again

Chase blinks a few times. The nurse is still talking, but Chase isn’t listening. Avengers Tower. She’s back. God-fucking-dammit. Everything she’s done to avoid going through this again was for naught. Fucking shit.

Another thought dawns on her - if she remembers everything, do they?

“Miss?” the nurse says.

“Chase. My name is Chase.”

“Chase, Mr. Stark and Dr. Banner are here to see you. Are you up to having visitors?”

She considers this. She also considers how the fuck she is so calm right now.

“What kind of pain meds am I on?”

“Morphine. Do you want to see them?”

That explains the calmness at least. 

“Sure, let’s get this shit show on the road. Can you sit me up?”

The nurse seems miffed at what Chase said, but adjusts the bed for Chase until she tells her it’s fine. It’s not fine, it hurts like a bitch, but there’s a morphine drip and she’s in nothing but a fucking hospital gown. She’s not going anywhere. 

The nurse steps away from her and goes to the door. She can hear her talking in hushed tones to who she can only guess is Tony and Bruce. Her guess was right when she steps aside and they walk in together. 

Seeing Bruce doesn’t bother her. Seeing Tony...that hurts. That hurts almost as much as the physical pain she’s in.

“How are you feeling?” Tony asks.

“Like hell.”

“You had a pretty good crash,” Bruce says, as he examines her arms. Really? Didn’t we do this…

“Do you know where you are?” Tony asks. He’s watching her intently. There is no recognition in his eyes or in Bruce’s. 

“The nurse told me. Any ideas how I got here?”

“I was  hoping you could tell us,” Tony says gently. He sits on the end of the bed. She sees movement by the door. She can hear Rhodey’s voice. Steve will show up next.

“I was on my way home and got hit by an asshole driving a lumber truck,” she says matter of factly. 

“You’re very calm for someone who just appeared in the middle of an empty street,” Tony muses. 

“Morphine does that to a person,” she tells him. It’s the truth. Mostly. She’s not about to go apeshit like she did the first time. She knows where she is. It’s happening all over again. Groundhog day bullshit. 

“Fair enough,” Tony says and then smiles a little.

“Can we not turn my arm like that, please?” she asks Bruce. She sees Bruce fluster a little and he puts her arm down gently. 

“Sorry, just checking to see how extensive the bruising is. The miracle here is you don’t have any broken bones.”

“The miracle here is that you’re still alive based on the condition of your car,” Tony adds. “The lumber truck explains the extent of the damage to you and your car...but not how you ended up in the middle of the street at five o’clock in the morning.”

“Miss Chase?” the nurse has come back into the room. “I brought you some ice water. You’re probably very thirsty.” 

This is what happens when you pay your staff enough that they care.

“Thank you,” she says, grateful for the cold water. 

“Chase?” Tony repeats like he’s tasting the word. “I feel like I’ve heard that name before.”

“Do we know a Chase?” Bruce asks, also wondering about this. Chase stays silent and drinks her water. They don’t know her. They have no clue who she is. Trying to explain to them that she was here before and they shipped her ass back because they’re all assholes will probably land her in a secure cell in some jail that’s at the bottom of the sea. 

A portal opens and Dr. Strange emerges into the room. She looks at him, fighting the urge to call him every name in the book and making up a few more for good measure. She sips the water and stays quiet. 

“I see she’s awake,” he states looking over Chase. 

“She is awake and would prefer you address her if you have something to say,” Chase states doing her best to keep her tone even. 

Tony smirks and pats her leg. 

“Her name is Chase,” Tony tells Strange.

“Lovely. Do you remember anything about how you got here?” he says cutting to the quick.

“On my way home, hit by a rogue trucker. Woke up here.”

“That doesn’t seem like a likely scenario to have you end up here,” Strange states.

“Don’t know what to tell you, Stephen.”

All three of them look at her in bewilderment. Aw hell…

“How do you know who I am?” Strange demands. 

Chase takes a deep breath. So, yeah, she’s going to have to relive part of this. Maybe this time they won’t believe her. Would a padded cell away from all of them really be that bad?


	6. How are you so calm?

Tony listens to their visitor calmly tell them how she knows all of them. Morphine or no, she’s entirely too calm for someone who, by her own admission, is in a world where they don’t exist. What bothers him even more is the feeling that he’s been in this situation before - maybe not exactly, but there is a haunting familiarity to it. Like he should know her. 

Dr. No-Bedside-Manner is asking her all kinds of ridiculous questions. Bruce is having an existential crisis. 

“Let me make sure I understand this,” Strange says. “Where you’re from we are figments of some old man’s imagination? He dreamt of this up? All of us? This entire world?”

“Yes.”

Her calmness is starting to wear off, at least with Strange, Tony notices. He can tell by the look on her face she has no love for that man, but there is a definite loathing of him. 

“How is that possible?” Bruce asks. “I’m real...aren’t I?” he asks Tony.

“You look pretty real to me, Bruce. You’re alter ego is pretty fucking real, too.”

“Is it possible….another sorcerer in her realm with the ability to see ours, but not come over…” Strange muses to himself. “I need to research this.”

“How do I get home?” Chase asks. To Tony it doesn’t sound like she’s very hopeful.

“We’ll figure something out, kiddo.”

“Don’t get her hopes up, Stark. We don’t know how she got here, how can we expect to get her home?” Strange demands.

“Would you prefer I just be a dick like you and tell her there’s no hope?”

Strange looks offended which was Tony’s intent. A portal opens behind Strange. 

“I will let you know if I find anything. I would keep her supervised. She knows more than enough to be a threat to us all.” He disappears after his little speech. 

“That guy is a fucking hoser,” Chase mutters. Tony smiles. He likes this girl. He’s not sure why, but he likes her. 

“He’s something,” Tony agrees. “Till we can get you home, kiddo, you’ll be a guest here in the tower. There are empty apartments. We’ll get you situated in one -”

He sees her look around him towards the door. Rogers is in the doorway with Rhodey. He looks back at Chase and she’s looking at her water cup, toying with the straw. 

“Stark?” Rogers calls from the doorway.

“Not now. Take your sideshow out of here, Rogers. She’s had enough shit for now.”

He can hear Rogers telling the nutjob and Wilson to leave. He hears Rhodey tell Rogers that if he finds out anything else he’ll let Rogers know. 

“Sideshow,” Chase repeats. Tony can see the hint of a smirk on her face, bruised and swollen as it is. 

“Ready to get out of here, kiddo?” he asks.

“Sure, Stark. Think they’ll let me go?”

“I’ll get you signed out,” Bruce offers. He seems eager to get out of the room. He exits hastily.

“He’s pretty well freaked the fuck out,” she says.

“Yeah. Yeah, he is. How the hell are you so calm? Seriously?”

“Morphine,” she says again. 


	7. Why do I feel like I should know her....

Bucky watches Steve as they head back towards the common room. Steve is lost in thought. Bucky and Sam didn’t get a chance to see the mystery visitor. Stark had ordered Steve to get them out of there. 

“What’s eating you?” Bucky asks him. Steve doesn’t answer right away. 

“Yo. Steve,” Sam says punching Steve playfully in the arm.

“I think I recognize that dame,” Steve says at last. 

“I don’t think so, man,” Sam says. “Stark and Ms. Potts say she just appeared out of thin air. The info in this girl’s bag doesn’t match up to any one on the planet. Friday says there is no registered person on Earth by the name of Chase Catalano.”

Bucky stops. That name...where the fuck has he heard that name before. Steve stops and turns to look at Bucky.

“You too?”

“I know that name, Steve. I don’t know why or how, but I know that name. I just can’t place it…”

“Yeah, I’m right there with you. I know her. I recognize her, as beat to hell as she is, but I don’t know from where.”

“You two are flipping out. Maybe she’s a reincarnation of some girl you both banged during the war,” Sam teases.

“Didn’t you just say she appeared out of thin air and doesn’t exist?” Steve replies with a grin. 

“Alright, wise ass,” Sam grumbles. “But seriously, there’s like zero chance you two know her. It’s probably someone who looks like her that you’ve come across. You know, since both of you are old farts.”

“Imma beat his ass,” Bucky growls. Sam laughs. Bucky is serious. The old jokes are getting...old. 

“Maybe he’s right, Buck,” Steve says and then shrugs. “We’ve seen how many countless faces through the years?”

“I didn’t see her face, Steve,” Bucky reminds him. “I heard her name.”

Steve looks at Sam who has the  _ O _ face going. Clearly he hadn’t thought that part through before he started running his mouth. 

“Maybe you knew a Chase back in the day,” Sam offers. 

“Not a very common name. Neither is Catalano.”

“I don’t fucking know then, Barnes,” Sam snaps. 

“Knock it off,” Steve barks. Always the mediator. That’s something else that strikes Bucky. Steve’s mediated for something else on his behalf….but what? Why can’t he remember? 

They get to the common room and find Clint and Natasha having a discussion. They stop when Steve, Bucky and Sam walk in. 

“Lover’s quarrel?” Steve jests. Clint shakes his head and Natasha just smiles. 

“Any news on our mystery guest?” Clint asks. Steve shakes his head no. Bucky drops into one of the overstuffed chairs and rubs his chin. Catalano. Chase Catalano. This is really starting to bother him. 

“Stark chased us off,” Sam tells Clint. 

“Probably a good reason. The entire goof troop showing up at once might scare the girl,” Natasha teases.

“Goof troop?” Sam says, not hiding his disdain.

“You heard me, fly boy,” she teases. “Clint and I were arguing over where to eat. Any suggestions from you heathens?”

“Shawarma,” Steve suggests.

“Thai,” Sam says.

Bucky just smirks.

“Jesus, Barnes, get laid,” Clint laughs, picking up on Bucky’s sinister intent.  Bucky just laughs. 

“You two need to take a cold shower,” Natasha scolds. Clint gives her a wide eyed look.

“I had nothing to do with this,” he says defensively. “That was all Barnes.”

“Barnes didn’t say anything, you did,” she reminds him, then winks. 

“Goddammit get a room,” Sam grumbles. Clint laughs. 

“We’re in one. Get the hell out,” Clint says still laughing.

“Back to the topic at hand, we’re going out for lunch. You boys want to join us?”


	8. Deja Vu or something else?

Stephen Strange sits in his inner sanctum meditating on Chase. He’s got this unshakable deja vu feeling, something he should know or be able to place about her. Her animosity towards him was evident from the get go. And she knows them. She knows all of them. She was distant with Tony and Bruce but still somewhat relaxed when answering their questions. She seethed nothing but hatred when answering his.

Her story sounds too fantastic to possibly be true. She’s from a world where they are all comic book and movie characters built to entertain the masses. Dreamt up by one man….

But that isn’t what is eating at him. It’s the fact that he  _ knows  _ this girl. He’s seen her before. Her story - he’s heard it before, he’s sure of it. How does he know her? From where? From when? 

One other thing bothers him about her. One very important thing. She wasn’t telling them everything. She was holding back.

Another thought occurs to him...if he’s having deja vu are any of the others?

Stephen opens his eyes and looks around the room. The deja vu he felt was intense. This goes well beyond the feeling of having been there before, this was more like a repeat of some event he’d been in. Which means the others had been there….

He reaches out his left hand and his cell promptly lands in his palm. He calls Steve Rogers. Calling Stark will only result in an argument. Rogers will at least listen.


	9. Subtle Differences

Chase limps behind Tony as he takes her down the hall to her ‘new’ apartment. It’s not new. It’ll be the same goddamn one, she’s sure of it. She keeps thinking about the Bill Murray movie Groundhog Day. Is this her punishment for something she’s done somewhere in her life? She’s doomed to keep repeating this fucking fiasco over and over till she makes it right? Should she take a bath with a toaster to find out?

“You in there, kiddo?”

“Yeah. What?” She hadn’t heard Tony speak until that moment. The toaster scene from the movie playing in her mind had distracted her. 

“You sure you’re ok to be on your own?” He sounds worried. She wants to believe he is, but this is the same guy who said it was okay to kick her back to her own world. 

“Yeah. I’m good,” she lies. She’s not good. She hurts like hell, more than she did the first time she crashed. She’s also emotionally distraught at the fact that she’s being forced to go through this again. 

“This will be your new digs. Spruce it up how you want, make it yours. Till we can get you home, at least. I want you to meet Pepper. You’ll like her. She’s nice.”

Chase can’t stop the smile. He loves Pepper. She’s always been touched by just how much he cares for Pepper and that, seemingly, has not changed nor should it. 

“I’m sure she is, Stark.”

“She’ll take you shopping. Maybe tomorrow when you’re more limber. There’s clothes for you in the bedroom. Place is all set up. I had Friday installed so if you need anything or you get hurt or scared just yell,” he tells her. 

The conversation is slightly different, but the gist of it is there still. This is your home now, we’ll find a way to get you back, you and Pepper will be good friends, blah blah blah. 

“Got it,” she says absently. She just wants him to leave. Just go. Her heart is weeping because she misses Tony. She misses the man who at one time she would have considered a big brother. She keeps her feelings under wraps, though.

“Here,” he says handing her an all black credit card. The only thing on it is a VISA logo. “Get whatever you want to eat. Charge it to that. There’s a Macbook on the coffee table over there,” he says pointing. “I had an extra one. I wiped it, now it’s yours. Order stuff. My treat. I feel like I owe you that -”

This last statement catches them both off guard. Chase is more than a little shocked to hear Tony say that and Tony seems just as miffed that he said it. 

“Yeah….so, you can keep this,” she says choosing to ignore Tony’s last sentence and handing him back the card. “I appreciate it, but -”

“No buts. Take it. What the hell are you going to eat? The couch?”

She looks over at where the sectional should have been. It is a couch. Two couches and two overstuffed chairs making a U shape around the coffee table with the open end pointing towards the big screen mounted on the wall. What the goddamn shit is this? Where’s the fucking sectional?

“What’s wrong?” Tony asks as he forces the card back into her hand. “Don’t like it? We can switch apartments.”

“No,” she says hastily. “No, this is fine. Sorry, the morphine must have me a little slow on the uptake here.”

“You sure you’re alright to be alone, Chase?”

“I’m good, Stark -”

“You know you can call me Tony. We’re good to be on a first name basis.”

“Familiarity breeds contempt, Stark. I’d rather not have that happen.” 

“Who did you dirty, kiddo? Jesus Christ.”

“Lots of people. You just learn to deal with it after a while.”

She can see she’s shut Tony down with this statement. He’s got no rebuttal for this. She wanted to tell him it was him and Rogers and Strange and most importantly Bucky. They’d all done her dirty. But why bring that up? They don’t know this is basically a repeat episode for her. They don’t need to either. 

“Keep the card. Don’t argue. Make sure you eat. If you need anything, tell Friday and I’ll come get you,” he commands. 

“Yes, sir.”

“It’s going to be okay, kiddo. You’re safe here. You can let that barrier wall of yours down now. Call me if you need anything,” he says again and then he leaves the apartment.

“Don’t hold your breath on the barrier wall, Stark,” she mutters. The couch thing is bothering her. It’s a nice couch set, not that funky bachelor style 80s shit from the previous apartment he’d stashed her in. This was a powder blue set looked kind of like corduroy, but not. The coffee table was much larger - looks like this one is a lift top, and it’s got that pallet look to it. 

Curiosity snares her in its trap and she heads back to the bedroom. She flips on the light and sure enough there is the disgusting black and chrome bedroom set. 

“The 80s bachelor wet dream,” she says and then smiles a little. The memory sparks a fresh wave of heartache and she flips off the light and heads back to the living room. 

She’s perplexed at the differences she’s seeing, subtle as they seem. If these things are different...then is it possible she can keep from having to repeat every goddamn act in this fucked up play? She can avoid Rogers and Barnes like the plague and save herself the misery and subsequent bullshit heartache when they tell her “too bad, so sad, GTFO”. 

She could try it. She could avoid all of them unless interaction was mandatory and even then, if she kept up her defenses she could push them away. 

Fuck you fate, she’s found a potential way around your Groundhog Day bullshit.


	10. The phone feels weird when it vibrates

Steve’s phone starts buzzing in his pants. He hates that feeling, but Sam and Bucky keep changing his ringtone to the most obscene shit they can find so he just keeps on vibrate now to piss them off. 

“Hello?”

“Captain Rogers, this is Dr. Stephen Strange. Have you a few moments to talk?”

“I was about to go to lunch, but -”

“Come to my place when you’re finished, if you would please.”

“Sure,” Steve says unsure why Strange would invite him over for a chat. 

“I will see you then.” The call disconnects.

“Why’s your ringer off, punk?” Bucky asks and then grins.

“Because you and Sam are assholes.”

“Aw, don’t hate, Cap,” Sam laughs. “At least you know we’re thinking of you.”

“Get a room,” Clint snorts and then he and Natasha laugh. Bucky is grinning and trying not to laugh. Steve’s about to pummel all of them.

“Who was it? Care to tell us?” Natasha asks, slapping Clint’s shoulder when he starts laughing again.

“Strange.”

“What’s strange?” Clint asks being stupid. 

“When was the last time you had your head checked?” Sam asks. Bucky roars with laughter and Natasha smirks. 

“There’s something wrong with all of you,” Steve gripes. “Dr. Strange, you assholes. He wants me to go see him after we have lunch.”

“Oooohhhh,” the others all say together. 

“You I expect more from,” Steve yells at Bucky. Bucky just laughs that much more. 


	11. The subtle differences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this answers everyone's questions about if Chase is preggo or not.

Chase sits down in one of the overstuffed chairs and twirls the credit card between her fingers. Things are different, yet the play remains the same. The differences are subtle for the most part. The sectional versus the couch, the conversations, how long it took her to get here, not flipping shit in the medical wing….for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Is it possible that her decisions in her own world have altered things here? Her choice to stay calm instead of flip out? 

She puts her hand on her stomach. She would have been pregnant had she been allowed to stay in this world. She and Bucky would have been parents to quite possibly the fastest gestating baby ever. She’s not pregnant. Not now at least. One of the things she’d done on her trips to the store the day after she was banished was to get three different kinds of home pregnancy tests. All came back negative. When Strange sent her back in time, he erased everything that had happened up to that point - except her memory. Bucky’s cumdumping in her had never happened. 

She’s not entirely sure how she feels about that. She misses Bucky and Steve - mostly Bucky because she’d bonded with him first, fell in love with him first, slept with him first. He was going to be the father of their baby…

“Stop it!” she snarls at herself. “Fucking get a grip. He walked the fuck out on you and then sent you back to your own world with out so much as a second goddamn thought.”

She ignores the ache in her heart, the voice in the back of her mind telling her she’s wrong. She isn’t wrong. The three people she cared for more than anything in this fucked up world abandoned her and shipped her back like she was yesterday’s news. The same mistakes will not be made again. She managed to avoid Bucky for a month. She can do it longer. Steve may be a different issue, but he’s seeing the screwball Russian, so he’ll just have to deal. Chase has every intention of making sure they know she has no interest in anything or anyone here. 

The option to still take a bath with the toaster is still on the table.


	12. Tony stabs the lettuce

Tony sits at the table with Pepper picking at his food. She’s chided him a few times about eating, but he can’t. He’s stuck on the fact that he knows Chase. He  _ knows her _ . But how? From where? Why does he feel obligated to take care of her? Is she someone he slept with when he and Pepper were on hiatus? 

That thought nauseates him. The idea of sleeping with someone who appears to be your sister is disgusting. 

He stabs at the salad on his plate and sighs. He doesn’t know her, has no idea if she’s telling the truth. What he does know is that she appeared out of thin air on an empty street in a car that looked like it had been in a compactor. She should be dead. Whatever happened in her world was enough to push her over into theirs. That still doesn’t shake the feeling that she’s something akin to family to him. 

“Tony.”

“Beautiful.”

“I’m glad you think so. Do you plan on eating or just stabbing that one piece of Romaine till it’s mush?”

“I haven’t decided. I don’t appear to like this piece of Romaine,” he jokes.

“Clearly. Our guest seems to have you out of sorts.”

“You ever get the feeling you’ve done something before?”

“Yes, Tony,” Pepper laughs. “It’s called deja vu.”

“Ever have that happen with a person?”

“I...no. I can’t say I have,” she answers thoughtfully. 

Tony goes back to stabbing the piece of lettuce.

“I know her, Pepper. I know her and I don’t know why or how or from where or when…”

“You’re going to drive yourself crazy. Stop. You said it yourself, she’s from another dimension. How would you know her?”

“I can’t explain it. I just do,” he says solomley.  “Did I tell you what she said when I asked her to call me Tony instead of just Stark?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Familiarity breeds contempt.”

“Wow. That’s someone with a lot of hurt.”

“Yup. I asked her who did her dirty. She says lots of people, she’s just learned to deal with it. She’s distant, she’s got these walls she keeps up and she loathes Stephen Strange with a passion.” The last part of that makes him chuckle. “She called him a fucking hoser.”

Pepper chokes a little on her wine and laughs. 

“I see why you like her. You have a common enemy.”

“That’s not the reason. I don’t know,” he says dropping the fork on the plate. “Something doesn’t add up. I know she wasn’t telling us everything.”

“Tony, I think you’re reading too far into this. Seriously, stop. She’s here in the tower, you have Friday monitoring her, which I think borders on invasion of privacy, to be honest…”

“Talk to her tomorrow, Pepper. You’re a girl -”

“Last time I checked I was,” she teases.

“Last time I checked you were, too,” he says and grins. 

“What do you want me to find out, Tony?”

“Anything. See if she’ll open up to you a little when you take her out.”

“I make no promises. Eat your dinner.”


	13. Bucky and the antique store

Bucky is walking back to the tower alone. The group disbanded a while ago, Clint and Nat going one way, Sam heading out for god knows what and Steve going to Dr. Strange’s place. Bucky didn’t feel like tagging along with Nat and Clint and he sure as hell wasn’t going to hang out with Sam the wonder twat. Steve didn’t seem too keen on him going along to see Strange so he just went for a walk around the block then to the park. 

He’s headed back to the tower when he passes a small little antique shop. Something draws him to the place and he goes inside. He instinctively heads to a back corner to find a 1930s style bedroom set in cherry wood. This, too, has that hauntingly familiar feel to it. He’s never set foot in this place before. Never noticed it till now. But he recognizes both the store and this set. Why? What the fuck is going on? 

He runs his fingers along the antique dresser. It’s been here a while, based on the dust. He looks at the headboard...there’s lines in the dust from fingers being drawn over the wood. Recently, if he had to guess. He puts his fingers in the cleared spots - they’re too big, these are a dames fingers. Maybe Chase’s.

That thought makes him take pause. There’s no goddamn sense to that unless the bedroom set magicked itself here, too. No. No, it’s just his imagination playing tricks on him. He’s still putting his life back together and his mind still does weird shit sometimes. Like place people and things in places they don’t belong as part of a memory. No. This isn’t anything more than an antique bedroom set that someone else came into admire, a dame or a dude with super skinny digits. That’s all there is to it. 

He exits the store in haste, and spends the rest of the walk back to the tower trying to convince himself this was nothing more that some wood in a store. 


	14. Pepper and Chase head out to shop

“Miss Potts would like to make you aware she is on her way to see you.”

Chase opens her eyes and looks around. Nope, she’s still in the nightmare and that was Friday’s disembodied voice announcing Pepper’s imminent arrival. Swell. She doesn’t even have time to take a goddamn shower. 

Wait...did Friday talk to her before?

“I’m going to get a goddamn toaster!” she yells at the ceiling. 

“I will add that to a shopping list if you’d like, Miss Chase,” Friday offers. If Friday was here in person Chase would beat the snot out of her. 

“Tell Miss Potts I’m getting in the shower and I will meet her in the lobby when I’m finished.”

“Very well, Miss Chase. Would you like me to add the toaster -”

“NO!”

Chase rolls out of the bed and limps to the bathroom. Her body hurts like hell. The morphine is gone and she hurts so bad she could cry. She gets into the bathroom and turns the water on in the shower and then fights to get her pajamas off. She’s still wondering about Friday’s interactions, and she’s about 75% positive this hadn’t happened before. But, to be honest, the only thing she really remembers is how much she loved Bucky and Tony and even Steve and how much it still hurts to think they didn’t feel a fraction for her what she felt for them. 

She’s crying from both the physical and emotional pain when she gets in the shower. If ending up here again was the alternative to dying in that collision, she’d rather have died.  Or she is dead. This must be what Hell is like. Eternal torment for the damned. Doomed to relive things that will cause you pain for infinity. Whatever she’s done to upset whatever deity or deities are out there, she is so fucking eternally sorry for it. So very, very, very sorry.  

She finishes in the shower, the hot water only helping the smallest bit and struggles to get dressed. She can’t even fix her hair, so she just grabs a hair tie from her back and puts it on her wrist for when the unruly curls come out after it dries. Bucky loved her curls. He’d get upset if she mentioned straightening her hair. He’d run his fingers through the spirals and smile when they’d bounce back….

“Enough. Let’s not forget what happened the last time we were here,” she reminds herself. 

She heads out of the apartment and down the hall to the elevators. The closer she gets the more anxious she becomes. She’s worried she’ll cross paths with one or both of the boys. She’s not in any shape to deal with them. Bucky more than Steve, and she knows her meeting with Steve is supposed to be today. She’s got time to try and prepare for that, at least. 

She presses the elevator button to go down and holds her breath. When the doors open and no one is inside she exhales in relief. She steps inside and heads down to find Pepper. 

When the doors open to the lobby she sees Pepper leaning on the courtesy desk waiting for her. 

“Chase?”

“Hi, Pepper.”

“Are you sure you’re up to this? You look like you’re really sore.”

“I’ll be alright,” Chase lies. “Tony warned me he’s making you take me out.”

Pepper laughs a little. 

“Happy is waiting for us outside,” Pepper says. She walks slowly with Chase, matching her speed. Chase is kind of touched by this. Pepper is a good person, even if she is seeing a douche-hat.


	15. Strange has a developing theory

Steve sits in the cab on his way to Dr. Strange’s home. The phone call earlier has him more than a little curious as to what the sorcerer wants.

The cab pulls up in front of the grand home. Steve pays the cabby and gets out. Wong opens the door before Steve gets a chance to knock.

“He is in his study. Would you care for some tea, Captain Rogers?”

“No, thank you, Wong.”

Wong smiles and points Steve toward the study. 

“Come in, Captain Rogers. “ Again, before Steve can knock somebody already knows he’s there. Steve opens the door to the study and steps inside.

The room is huge, wall to wall shelves of books and scrolls. A large desk sits in front of a bay window. There are two red velvet covered Victorian style chairs and a matching Victorian couch. Strange is nowhere to be seen. 

“Captain Rogers,” a voice says from behind Steve. Steve whirls around and is face to face with the sorcerer. 

“Dr. Strange,” Steve says as cordially as he can.

“Please, have a seat. Would you care for anything to drink?”

“No, thanks. Can you tell me what this about?” Steve says cutting to the chase. Strange nods his head and sits down behind the desk.

“Have you met our visitor?”

“I’ve seen her. Briefly.”

“Did you notice anything odd?”

“Explain odd.”

“Strange, off kilter, not normal…”

“Okay, okay, I get it,” Steve says holding up his hand. “No. She looked like a dame that had been put through the ringer with Mike Tyson.”

“You didn’t sense anything about her? No feeling of say….deja vu?”

Steve looks at the sorcerer calmly. He’s dancing around the issue here and Steve isn’t really in the mood for games.

“What is the point here, Strange?” Steve asks.

“Always to the point, Captain Rogers,” Strange says and then smiles. “Fine. When I saw her yesterday I had the overwhelming sense that I had seen her before. That I knew her from somewhere, but I couldn’t place her. I came back to the sanctum the meditate. Nothing I did could place her, but I  _ have _ seen her before.”

“She has that kind of face -”

“That wasn’t the only thing,” Strange says interrupting Steve. “I felt like that whole situation in that room, aside from a few things, I had been through before as well.”

Steve goes to say something dismissively, but thinks better of it and shuts his mouth. He’s not the only one who felt that deja vu feeling. That sense that he knew the girl from somewhere. And Buck had recognized the dame’s name and he hadn’t seen her. 

“You know something,” Strange says calmly. 

“I recognized her. I only saw her briefly and I recognized her, even though she’s beat to hell.”

“That’s not all is it?”   


“Bucky didn’t see her, but when Sam mentioned her name - her name that was listed on her driver’s license - Buck recognized her name. And she doesn’t have a common name.”

Strange seems to consider this for a few moments.

“Has Stark said anything to you?”

“I haven’t seen Tony since yesterday when he told me to leave.”

“Rude as always,” Strange muses. “I have a theory, but I want to talk to Stark first.”


	16. Bucky knows who she is

Bucky was walking into the lobby of the tower when he saw Pepper leaving with her. The girl. That was Chase Catalano. He know this.  _ He knows that was her. _ She didn’t see him, Pepper only smiled briefly as they passed each other, but he saw Chase. His head is swimming and his heart is racing. He loves her. He loves that girl and he doesn’t know her, but he does know her and right now he’s pretty goddamn sure he’s going insane.

He does the only thing he can and he calls Steve.

“Buck -”   


“Steve…I saw her.”   


“Who?”

“Chase. Steve, I saw her. I know her. I love her -”

“Where are you? I’m coming to get you. Don’t move,” Steve orders. 

“At the tower. I know her Steve. I know her.”

“Stay there. I’m ten minutes out,” Steve states and hangs up. Bucky lets the phone fall from his hand and he drops down into one of the leather chairs. If he’d fallen on the floor he wouldn’t have noticed. He knows that girl. More importantly he knows he loves her. 

But how? How is that possible? How the hell does he know her? Why is he so goddamn certain he loves her with every fiber of his being? 

He’s not sure if he’s going to vomit or pass out at this point. 

The bed...the bed in the antique shop...those were her finger trails….she’s been here before….


	17. The Plot Thickens

Steve hangs up abruptly and heads toward the study door.

“Captain Rogers?” Strange knows something is amiss and that the plot as thickened here.

“Buck’s in trouble. He’s having an episode, I think. He saw the girl and he claims he knows her. That he loves her. He’s convinced of this.”

“We need to go now. Call Stark, tell him we will be at the tower in two minutes.”

“I need to get to Bucky -”

“Have you forgotten how I travel?”

Steve dials Tony’s number.

“What.”

“We have a problem.”

“Did someone say the magic words and set your boyfriend off into riot mode again?” Tony asks meanly. Steve is to the point today with the bullshit and the weird feelings that he’s about to beat the shit out of somebody.

“Shut up, Stark. It’s about Chase.”

Now there’s silence.

“Get here now.”

“We’ll be in the lobby in less than two,” he tells Stark.

“We?”

“Strange is coming with me.”

“I have to get Pepper back here. Get here now,” Tony barks and then hangs up. 

“What’s wrong?” Strange asks.

“Pepper is out...she’s with Chase...they’re shopping...how the fuck do I know this??” Steve demands of Strange. Strange’s eyes are huge. 

“Let’s go,” Strange says opening the portal for them to get back to the tower. 


	18. The differences aren't so subtle now

Chase watches Pepper’s face go from one of mild amusement at Chase’s loathing of all things dress up, to one of fear. So it begins.

“What’s wrong?” she ask, already knowing that was Tony that called. 

“Tony wants us back at the tower pronto. He won’t tell me why.”

This isn’t right and it’s a little upsetting. Tony and Steve were supposed to come get them, but that wouldn’t be until later. They just finished in the first shop. Something is definitely not right in Screwville.

Pepper hurries her off to the limo with Happy. Hurries is a joke, Chase can barely move. They get in and Pepper gives Happy the orders to get them back now. Chase can see the worried look on Happy’s normally jovial face. 

Chase takes a few deep breaths and tries to relax. Not everything will play out as it did before, she tells herself. Things are going to be different. But it should only be subtle things, right?

“I’m sure it’s nothing,” Pepper says finally. “Tony being who he is and doing what he does...there are threats…”

Chase doesn’t say anything. If the divergence is here...where will Steve fit into this today? What about Bucky?

She clenches her fist so tight her nails dig into the soft flesh of her palm nearly drawing blood. No more about Bucky. No more about Steve. No more about Tony. Keep your guard up, don’t give them anything, don’t show them anything. Stay strong. 

Happy pulls up to the front of Avenger’s Tower fifteen minutes after Tony’s phone call to Pepper. 

“I’m sure it’s nothing,” Pepper says again. Chase is pretty sure Pepper is trying to convince herself more than she is Chase.


	19. The gathering commences

Steve and Dr. Strange emerge in the lobby of the tower. Bucky is sitting slouched in one of the leather chairs, his phone on the ground in front of him and he’s deathly pale.

“Buck? Bucky!” Steve barks snapping his fingers to bring Bucky back from wherever he is.

“She's back, Steve. She came back. She came back.”

Steve looks over at Strange.

“There’s a paradox happening,” Strange says. “And I think he’s right. Let’s find Stark.”

“Buck, come on, get up.”

“Steve, she came back. I know her. You know her,” Bucky insists. 

“I know, Buck.”

“Goddammit, Steve, don’t patronize me,” Bucky snaps. 

“I’m not, asshole. I know she’s back. I know we know her. I had a goddamn epiphany at his place about her,” Steve snaps back. Bucky blinks a few times then shakes his head like he’s trying to clear it. Bucky gets up.

“We need to find Stark,” Strange says again. He opens a portal and the three of them step inside. 


	20. Enter the Odinson

Chase sits at the long marble top counter in the grand sitting area of the penthouse watching Tony and Pepper have a very hushed discussion. She was ordered not to leave. Why she’s listening, she’s not sure, but here she sits. She has the distinct and very frightening feeling shit is about to hit the fan on an epic scale. 

A portal opens and out come Dr. Strange, Steve and….Bucky. 

“Fuck me,” she mutters. Her heart is just pounding away in her chest. 

“Chase,” both Steve and Bucky say in breathless awe. Despite her heart’s adamant pleas to run to them and hug them and kiss them she sits still and says nothing.

“How the hell?” Tony demands. 

“Been suffering deja vu, Stark?” Strange asks as he walks towards Chase. She can feel her skin crawl the closer he gets. Yup, shit’s about to hit the fan.

“Why?” Tony demands. 

“Because we all are,” Steve says. 

“What is this? Mass hysteria?” Tony asks. Chase can tell he’s bluffing, he doesn’t want to give Strange the satisfaction of being right about something. 

“No,” Strange says calmly. “She’s been here before.”

The room is deafening in it’s silence. Chase says nothing. She refuses to look at any of them. Instead she’s eyeing the french doors that lead to a balcony on the outside. 

“Chase? What aren’t you telling us?” Tony asks in as calm a manner as she’s ever heard. All eyes are on her. She says nothing. 

“Baby?” Bucky calls to her. She can see him approaching from the corner of her eye. The glass decanter on the table is what she grabs and flings at him. He jumps back just as it explodes on the floor in front of him.

“I am not your baby,” she growls. Everyone is on edge now. 

“What happened, Chase?” Tony demands. 

“Why not ask the great and powerful Oz over here, Stark. He has all the answers. Just like he did before.”

“I don’t have the answers, child. If I did I certainly wouldn’t be in here asking you for them,” he snaps.

“Imagine that. You don’t have the answers. And yet somehow you have an idea of who I am.”

“Baby, stop. Please. I know you were here before. I know...I know we loved each other -”

This is all it takes for the anger and pain to finally boil over into rage.

“You know nothing of love.”

“I know I love you,” he fires back.

“You know nothing,” she hisses. 

“Chase...doll…” Steve says trying to step in. He stops, unable to think of anything else to say.

“I know I love you. I know you were here before. I saw the bedroom set, Chase. I saw your finger marks on the headboard…”

“What happened, Chase? What happened here? Why are you so angry?” Tony asks gently.

She doesn’t answer. She’s seething right now. Every inch of her is boiling in rage. 

Strange has one of  his mystical bullshit things open. He reaches out and touches Chase before she can move away. Time suddenly slows almost to a stop. There’s a pulse wave that erupts from Chase and Strange and ripples outward like a shockwave, knocking everyone over. The sound of glass shattering dominates the room and then it’s over. Everyone is on the floor, panting. And judging by the looks on their faces, Chase can tell they all know what happened now. Including the pregnancy and her banishment. 

Chase sits up slowly, her body screaming in pain. 

“Chase...oh god, Chase,” Bucky whispers. He’s crying.

“Does that answer your goddamn question, Strange?” Chase growls. 

“Chase…” Tony is near tears, too. Steve doesn’t look like he can speak. Bucky is up and making his way towards her. 

“Don’t you fucking dare come near me,” she snarls. He freezes. 

“Baby, I’m not going to hurt you,” he says softly. Her heart is breaking but she’s not going to do this shit again.

“You already have. All of you. I’ll be damned if you do it again.”

“Something had to have changed, a mistake, something,” Strange muses as he picks himself up. Bucky starts to head towards her again.

“How sure are you Shuri removed all of Hydra’s programming, Barnes?” Chase asks, the malice clear in her voice. Bucky freezes. 

“Chase, dollface, don’t do this,” Steve pleads. She ignores him.

“How sure, Barnes? What happens if I say the words?” She sees Bucky reel and step backwards at this.

“No one knows the words, the book was destroyed,” Steve says getting up.

Chase laughs.

“Where am I from, boys? I know the words. In Russian. What will happen if I say them, Barnes? You want to take that fucking chance you  _ fucking son of a bitch! _ ”

“ENOUGH!” a booming voice bellows from above. Lighting strikes the ground between where all of them are and Thor appears with Loki, who is being held by the neck by his brother.

“Oh good, now the Odinson and his adopted brother have joined us,” Chase growls. 

“You’re really pushing your luck right now, kiddo. Just stop,” Tony warns. She flips him off. 

“Tell them, brother,” Thor commands. Loki looks away and says nothing. Thor squeezes his neck and Loki winces. 

“Fine. Fine, you brute. This was my doing, child. I brought you here initially to watch how an outsider female would interact with these...mortals. I was curious. I wanted to know what would happen if they lost you. I gave your Dr. Strange the false information on you being a threat. I did not realize the suffering this would cause…”

“Where are the stones, Strange?” Chase demands.

“What stones?” Strange replies. Chase knows full well he knows what she’s talking about.

“The goddamn space stone and time stone, you piece of fucking shit!”

“I don’t have them -”

“You fucking liar!” she screams. “Where are they? Send me back!”

“He can’t, child. The space stone is locked away in Asgard where he cannot get to it,” Loki explains. He sounds almost apologetic. 

“Get. It.”

“You do not order my brother to do your bidding, Mid Guardian.”

“Your brother fucked me over royally, Thor. I have nothing. While I know that means very little to the gods, it means a great deal to this mortal,” she snaps. Thor seems surprised by her belligerence. 

“Stop! This was a gag you pulled? On all of us?” Tony demands. 

“In my defense, I wanted to see how you would react to losing something you loved. I didn’t bring you back, child. Not this time. There is nothing in Asgard that could have returned you here in the manner you arrived.”

“She was pregnant...with our child...you mother -” Bucky lunges at Loki and is met with a belt to the chest by Thor’s hammer that sends him backwards into Steve. Loki looks surprised.

“Captain Rogers, I suggest you get your friend under control,” Thor advises. 

“You have to understand why we’re all pissed, Thor. Your brother robbed us -”

“Robbed you?! Are you fucking kidding me?!” Chase fumes. “The three of you pieces of shit gave me up without so much as a second goddamn thought. Strange said jump and instead of trying to find a goddamn solution you just decided to throw me away. I’m nothing but trash to you fuckers,” she laughs to keep from crying. “I’m disposable to all of you.”

“No, Chase, that’s not true,” Bucky groans as he gets up. “You know I love you, baby. You  _ know _ I do. You know Steve does. You know Tony does.”

“Shut up. You’re so fucking full of yourself. You and Rogers and Stark. All high and mighty in your ivory tower here. The only ones you care for are yourselves -”

“That’s not true. Look what you’ve done, you shit,” Tony yells at Loki. 

“Mind your words, Stark,” Thor warns.

“He’s ruined four lives!” Steve counters angrily.

“It is why I brought him here to apologize!” Thor continues in defense of Loki. 

“Do you not understand what you’ve done? What he’s done?” Strange demands. 

The arguing continues. Pepper is crying on the floor. The men are bickering back and forth trying to put all the blame on Loki when it was their own decisions that cost them, and Chase. They had nothing to lose, though. Chase lost everything. 

She gets up and heads to the french doors. No one notices. Why would they? They didn’t notice when she was gone before. 

She steps out onto the balcony and the cool air from outside greets her. She looks over the railing and backs up a step. It’s a long way down…

“Jumping seems futile. You’ve got your whole life to live, child,” Loki says walking up next to her. 

“What life? The god of mischief found it amusing to ruin my life not once, but twice.”

“I only wanted to watch and learn, child. My intention was not to ruin your life twice. The pregnancy wasn’t real, just added mischief to see what the response would be.”

“Like making Dr. Asshat think I was the cause of a global catastrophe?”

“Yes.”

“This coming from the god who tried and failed to take over New York with an army he borrowed from Thanos.”  
She sees Loki’s eyes flash.

“No one knows who the army came from.”

“You’re going to get us all killed, you idiot. Hide the fucking stone. You don’t have to be the bad guy, Loki. There’s enough of them around as it is.”

“How do you know -  _ THOR! _ ” 


	21. Peter to the rescue

Bucky hears Loki scream for his brother and everyone is running to the balcony. Chase jumped. She jumped and is plummeting to her death.

Thor jumps into a dive to go after her, the hammer leading the way. Strange flings his cloak after her and opens a portal in hopes he can catch her, but her velocity is too great….

“CHASE!” Bucky screams. Steve has to pull him back from the ledge.

“Friday, mark 13 suit. Now,” Tony orders. There’s an eruption of sound and a capsule with the Stark logo is deployed and following Chase’s decent. Tony taps his chest and jumps off the edge before the suit is fully engaged. Loki is mortified. Pepper is in hysterics along with Bucky and Steve isn’t too far behind. 

She’s falling too fast. Bucky sees Loki looking over the edge of the railing and then he abruptly looks away, eyes closed, the remorse all over his face. 

They were at the top of the tower. She would never have survived the fall. Bucky breaks down completely. They have taken his heart and soul this time. There is nothing left. 

Steve’s phone rings. Then Pepper’s. Then Steve’s again. Then Pepper’s. 

“Do you not answer those horrible devices?” Loki demands angrily. They all glare at him and he rolls his eyes.

The phones go off again. Steve finally answers his.

“WHAT?”

Bucky doesn’t care. He can’t feel. He can’t think.

“She’s alive.”

Pepper stops crying and Loki looks up.

“W-what?” Pepper sobs.

“Peter caught her,” Steve says astounded. “He caught her and they’re on the ground and she’s pissed.”

“What?” Bucky asks. He’s sure he’s hallucinating. Chase is dead. She jumped. She died.

“Peter caught her,” Steve repeats. Loki is smiling grandly. 

“The feisty one lives to argue another day,” he laughs. 

Bucky’s knees buckle and he ends up on the ground. He’s trying to process what Steve said. Peter caught her. The kid. The kid caught her and she’s alive and she’s here and….

He gets up quickly and runs back inside.

“Bucky!” Steve yells going after him. 

“She’s alive, Steve!” he yells back. He’s out of the penthouse already and heading to the stairs. He can’t hear Steve’s footfalls behind him anymore. Steve could never keep up with him, Bucky is faster. He’s always been faster. He’s on the stairwell leaping over the railings from landing to landing to get down to the ground floor faster. 

He needs to see her. Needs to see for himself that she’s okay. He’ll find a way to make it up to her. To show her he made a mistake and that he loves her and would do anything for her. 


	22. There are apologies and tears, but will it be enough?

“Whoa! Chase!” 

She hears Peter before she sees him and then she’s stopped roughly and abruptly by the kid swinging through the skyline in his goddamn pajamas.

“What are you doing?” the kid demands.

“Jumping, you shit. Let me go,” she growls at him.

“Yeah. No. I can’t do that. I’m glad you’re back, though.”

Chase is continually blown away by this kid. Purity and goodness thy name is Peter Parker. 

He sets her down on the ground just as Thor, Stark and the cloak come racing next to them. She’s slapped on the back suddenly by a nanotech suit that engages on impact.

“Are you fucking kidding?!” she yells.

“Disengage mark 13,” she hears Tony say. The suit disengages. 

“Why would you jump, child?” Thor asks. 

“To see if I could go home,” she answers bluntly.

“Jesus Christ, Chase! You could have died!” Tony yells.

“Yeah,” she says not caring. “That would have been the second best outcome here.”

“Don’t say that, Chase. Don’t say stuff like that,” Peter pleads. Chase sighs heavily. 

“Do I have to treat you as a suicide risk? Should I keep you in medical till you’re sane enough not to throw yourself out a fucking window?” Tony continues. 

“Fuck off.”

“Miss Chase!” Peter scolds. 

“Chase,” Tony says in exasperation, “no one asked for this -”

“Chase! Baby!”

“And here comes the fucking cavalry,” she groans. She sees Peter look from Tony to her to Bucky back to her. If it weren’t for the mask he’s wearing she’s sure she’d be laughing at the kid’s face. 

“Chase!” Steve is yelling for her. Strange appears behind Tony. They’re in the middle of the street and a crowd is gathering. Phones are out recording this and she’s fairly certain they’re all going to end up on the news. 

“We should move this inside,” Strange suggests. 

“Agreed,” Tony says. Strange opens a portal and Peter goes first, then Thor. Chase refuses to move. This is such complete and utter bullshit. 

“Chase,” Tony growls, “go.”

“Nah. I’m going to go play in traffic in the Holland Tunnel.”

“Get in the goddamn portal,” Bucky snaps angrily. Tony and Steve are a little taken back by this.

“Go fuck yourself, Barnes.”

“Chase,” Steve says firmly, “get in or we’ll carry you in.”

“For what, Rogers?” she snaps. The next thing she knows Bucky has her in his arms and they’re stepping into the portal together and emerging in the penthouse. 

He’s holding her tightly, just like he used to when he wanted to be loved. That bearhug hold on her, pressed tightly against him, she can smell his cologne, feel him breathing irregularly because he's upset. Her heart aches so much. But she can’t do this...not again. 

“Put me down,” she says softly. She has no more fight left for him. 

“No,” he responds in defiance. 

“James. Put. Me. Down.”

“Not if you’re going to do more dumb shit like you just tried to do,” he growls. 

She could lay her head on his shoulder, bury her face in his neck. She can’t see the others, she doesn’t try to. He’s in a red Henley, the sleeves pulled up to his elbows, a blue tee underneath, she can see the collar under the Henley. 

“Bucky.”

His hold on her tightens, she feels him try and stifle a sob. 

“I can’t let you go, Chase. I can’t. I won’t. I fucked up. I fucked up royally, but I’d rather have you alive and not speaking to me, then know that you’re…”

He stops talking, and lays his head on her. 

“We made a mistake, Chase. Nothing we can do will every show you how sorry we are.”

Steve’s voice, somewhere close. They’re going to break her, goddammit. They’re going to break her. She’s got to fight this or she’s going to end up in worse shape then she is now.

“Bucky. Put me down.”

“Put her down, Barnes.”

Tony’s voice, tired and beaten. 

“Promise me you won’t jump again, Chase,” Bucky pleads. She could tell him yes, put her head on his shoulder. He could hold her and they could cry together and get past this and she could forgive them all and they could go back and work things out, she and Bucky and even Steve…

“Chase,” he says softly, pulling her from her thoughts. 

“You’re hurting me.” He’s not, on the contrary being held by him so tightly is stupidly calming. He sighs shakily and gently puts her down, but he doesn’t let her go. She keeps her eyes down so she doesn’t have to look into his eyes and see the pain those blue eyes hold. She feels a hand on her back and jumps.

“Easy, Chase,” Steve says softly. 

“We aren’t going to hurt you, kiddo. This...none of this...is what any of us wanted. How often am I going to side with Barnes and Noble here?” Tony asks her. She looks up finally, to Tony, who has that pained smile on. Pepper is beside him, her eyes red from crying. Tony puts his hand on her face.

“No one here wants to hurt you, dollface,” Steve tells her. She feels him rub her back softly. Bucky still has her in his arms, his fingers locked at the small of her back.

She finally dares to look at Bucky. He breaks her, just like she knew he would. She bursts into tears and he pulls her back into the bearhug. He lets her go and Steve has her in his arms next, Bucky rubbing her back, both telling her how sorry they are. Steve lets her go and Pepper grabs Chase and practically throws her at Tony. 

“You dumb shit, you ever do something like that again,” Tony mutters through his tears as he holds her. “I’m sorry, kiddo.”

“See, brother? This is why Midgard is my favorite. Look at them,” Thor says proudly. 

“May I speak with her?” Loki asks. Tony lets her go and Bucky and Steve both take protective positions around her.

“You’ve done enough. You took away my chance to be an uncle,” Tony snaps.

“Tell them what you did, Loki,” Chase sighs. She wipes her eyes. 

“There was no child, Stark. Just more...mischief. Now, may I have a word with you?” he asks again. 

Steve, Bucky and Tony look upset about the fake pregnancy thing Loki pulled. 

“You’ve done enough,” Bucky growls, taking Chase’s hand. She pulls free and he looks at her questioningly. 

“He’s not the only one to blame. You’ve apologized, and that’s a start. It doesn’t erase what you’ve done,” she explains. She steps towards Loki who is bowed slightly with his hand extended to her.

“Be warned, brother. If you cause any more mischief with this mortal woman -”

“Fear not, brother. I won’t be but a moment.”

She takes Loki’s hand and they walk away from the others. 

“Tell me how you know about Thanos.”

Chase sighs.

“Where is the space stone?”

“Safe. How did -”

“Did you tell him you had it when you made your bargain with him, Loki?”

The god of mischief doesn’t respond. 

“Loki.”

“If I did?”

“He’ll come for it. He’ll come for all of the stones and then there will be nothing left. Not Midgard, not Asgard, nothing. He will snap his fingers and half the universe will cease to exist. You reap what you sow, Loki. Is the stone safe and hidden?”

She can see Loki’s already pale features get more ghostly. 

“Yes. What of the time stone?”

“It should be hidden, as well.”

“Do not speak of this to the others, child. Not even Thor.”

“You need to tell him, Loki.”

“How long do we have?”

“I don’t know. I don’t. I don’t even know if he’ll come after it.”

Loki is silent. 

“I will heed your words, child. If you betray me -”

“If you betray me, if this shit happens again, I will hold you responsible. I will tell them. All of them. And I will find a way to tell Thor.”

Loki eyes her up, measuring her words and their caliber. She’s not holding any punches, even if he is a god. 

“Fair enough, child. Go back to your friends. Those men missed you more than you know.”


	23. Forgiven does not mean forgotten

Chase heads back slowly to the group. Her body is all but vocally screaming in pain. This must have been how Bucky felt before he decided to jump on a goddamn bomb with Steve’s stupid shield. 

“Ba-Chase? Are you alright?” Bucky caught himself before he called her baby again. 

“No.”

“Let me call Bruce and see if he can get you something,” Tony offers. 

“Brother, have you said your piece?”

“I have,” Loki says looking at Chase. He smiles coyly and winks. She shakes her head no at him.

“Then we shall be gone,” Thor announces and then lifts Mjolnir and they vanish in another lightning strike. 

“They do know how to make an entrance,” Pepper says trying to make a small joke. Tony smiles and kisses her cheek. Chase rubs her arms and ribs where Peter caught her. 

“How bad is it, Chase?” Steve asks. He and Bucky are approaching her slowly like she’s a wild animal. Maybe she is. 

She pushes up her sleeves on both arms to show them the black bruises. Both boys look like they’ve been shot.

“Jesus Christ,” Bucky groans. He reaches out for her, but stops and gives her the option of taking his hand. Steve is next to him, clearly hoping she’ll let them look her over. She denies them both.

“It’s fine,” she lies, pushing her sleeves down. 

“Bruce says to go to medical and he’ll give you a shot of morphine. If you want it,” Tony says. “But you can’t stay by yourself, kiddo. Somebody has to monitor you -”

“I’ll do it,” Steve and Bucky volunteer together. Peter and Dr. Strange are moderately amused by this. Tony is not.

“I’ll pass, Stark. I want to be alone,” she says. 

“Chase, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Tony tells her. She shrugs. 

“I’ve had enough drama. I don’t want to be bothered, I don’t want to be hovered over, I don’t want to be fawned over and treated like an invalid child. I want to be alone. You wanted my forgiveness - all of you - then you need to give me my space. You hurt me. I won’t soon forget that.”

She finishes her speech and walks away from them. None of them have anything to say to counter her words. 

It takes what seems an eternity to get back to the apartment. She heads to the bedroom, strips what clothes she can off before giving up and crawls into bed to cry. 


	24. Pepper scolds the boys

Steve looks at Bucky who is clearly as out of sorts and hurt as he is. Chase shot them down. All three of them. Steve had hoped, perhaps foolishly, that when she’d broke down crying that she’d forgiven them and they could try and pick up the pieces. The memories that are/are not his of he and Bucky both being with her, his adoration of her, the fight before she was so callously thrown back to her own world - all this is fresh to Steve, like an open wound. And her words poured a painful amount of salt into that wound. 

“Give her time,” Strange tells them. “She’ll come around.” He’s so goddamn cock sure of himself. Steve can understand why Tony loathes the guy so much.  Strange bids his farewells and vanishes with the magic cloak.

“Why did she jump?” Peter asks. He’s been dying to ask that question apparently. 

“She’s not thinking clearly,” Tony says quickly. 

“No,” Bucky says, “she was. She is. Her logic is sound. If a traumatic event brought her here, then another will bring her home.”

“We should go check on her,” Steve says, suddenly concerned she’s going to fling herself out a window again and this time no one will be there to catch her.

“Don’t,” Pepper says stopping Steve in his tracks. “She asked you to leave her alone. You three owe her that. I saw what happened, too. None of you did anything to try and find a way to stop this  _ event _ Dr. Strange told us about. You threw her away. I’d be livid with all of you, too.”

Steve, Bucky and Tony look at the floor like scolded children. Pepper is right, though. They could have - _ should have _ \- looked into this more, but none of them did. They took the risk Strange told them about at face value and made a critical decision. One that nearly cost them the girl they adore. 

And to now find out this was a trick played on them by Loki….

“Go to bed, boys. You come with me,” Pepper says taking Tony’s hand. “Peter, be safe.”

“Yes, ma’am. Please don’t hurt her, Cap, Mr. Barnes. She’s a nice lady.” Peter disappears out onto the balcony and into the sky.

“How did he know about her?” Tony asks suddenly. “He wasn’t in here with us.”

Everyone stops. How did the kid know? 


	25. Bucky and Steve Reminisce

Bucky and Steve head back to the floor the apartments are on. They haven’t said a word since Chase left them. 

The elevator doors open and both men step out together.

“Want to have a drink, Steve.”

“Yeah.”

They head back to Bucky’s apartment. Bucky is gut wrenched when he opens the door. The memory has been planted now that he shared Chase’s apartment with her, had moved his belongings over, that he wasn’t alone anymore. Now...now he’s going from not knowing what he was missing to knowing what he was missing and not being able to get it back.

Steve drops onto the leather recliner and sighs deeply. Bucky gets the Scotch and two glasses. Neither of them can get drunk, but they can damn sure try. 

They sit in silence for a while, the TV on in the background, neither of them watching it.

“What do you remember, Buck?” Steve asks quietly. He pours himself another glass and sits back in the recliner. 

“Meeting her for the first time on the elevator. Seeing her blush. Thinking she was scared of me because she couldn’t speak,” he answers. He laughs a little. She was so goddamn beautiful. She still is. Even under the heavy bruising and swelling, she’s fucking gorgeous.

Steve smiles and nods his head as he takes a drink.

“I remember her telling Tony she wasn’t in the mood for sausage when he told her to stop looking at me and order a steak.”

Bucky had just taken a drink and nearly spit it out when Steve said this. Steve is smiling, the laughter isn’t really there. 

“I remember taking her to Central Park for the first time. Listening to her laugh as she tried to run away from me. I caught her easy enough, she was still laughing. I had to hold her up.”

Steve grins. 

“The day she went shopping with Pepper - which was today, I guess - and we came back and she told me most people call her a cuntcake.” This time Steve does laugh along with Bucky. 

“Jesus Christ,” Bucky laughs.

“She had Stark laughing so hard he was in tears. Happy was laughing and you wouldn’t know it unless you looked over at him and saw him shaking like a bowl full of jello,” Steve continues. Both of them are really laughing now. 

“Girl’s a pistol, man,” Bucky says and then takes another drink.

“She’s a Glock.”

They both laugh some more. 

“What do you remember about you and Natasha from all this?” Bucky asks after a while.

“That...I don’t understand that at all,” Steve admits. “Nat and I were never a thing. It’s always been her and Clint. I don’t get this shit where Nat and I were dating but she was screwing Clint behind my back.”

“Still trying to puzzle through that myself,” Bucky states. “There’s other things that don’t fit.”

“Like us sharing her?”

“Like that, yes. I didn’t even know that could be a thing.”

“Welcome to the future, Buck,” Steve says holding up his glass.

“To the future,” Bucky says bumping his glass with Steve's. 

The boys sit quietly again, drinking Scotch. Bucky knows Steve is mulling over the three party relationship thing. Bucky’s tried to think about it, but he can’t. He can only think about how long it will be before Chase will come around and let them even be in the same room as her again. How long it will be until he can hug her again. How long it will be before he can kiss her again. He wants to know if she’ll ever let him love her again or if she’ll ever love in return. 

“Buck.”

“Steve.”

“You in there?”

“No,” Bucky answers and then takes another drink. 

“How long do you think till she comes around again?” Steve asks. Apparently, Steve wasn’t thinking about threesomes, he was thinking about the same thing Bucky was.

“I don’t know, kid. I wish to hell I did, though.”


	26. Chase calls the boys for help

Chase wakes up the following morning and she can barely move. Literally every muscle in her body feels like it’s locked. Trying to move only makes her cry out in pain. 

“Friday.”

“Yes, Miss Chase?” the voice asks. 

“Where is Tony?”

“At a business meeting with Miss Potts. Should I call him for you?”

Oh god, it hurts so bad she’s pretty sure she’s going to vomit. Then there will be a mess to clean up and since she can’t move….

“No,” she says through clenched teeth. “Who else is here?”

“Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes are both still in the building. Natasha Romonov and Clint Barton -”

“Call...Barnes,” she says. She has no choice. She can barely move she’s in so much pain.

“Very well.”

Chase hears the line ringing. Once, twice...she’s sure he won’t answer.

“Hello?”

It’s his voice. That mellow baritone he has when he’s just waking up.

“Miss Chase would like to speak to you, Sergeant Barnes,” Friday announces. 

“Chase?” He’s wide awake now. “Baby, what’s wrong? Where are you? Are you okay?”

“Bucky.” It’s all she can get out before she starts to cry.

“Friday, where is she?”

“In her apartment -”   


“Unlock the goddamn door, I’ll be there in a minute.”

Chase hears the line drop.

“Sergeant Barnes is on his way. Would you like me to call Mr. Stark anyway?”

“No,” she sobs. Jesus Christ she should have taken Bruce up on the morphine. 

She hears the door to the apartment open and she hears not one, but two voices. Bucky has Steve with him. He must have called Steve as he ran out the door. 

“Baby?” Bucky calls.

“Bedroom, Sergeant Barnes,” Friday informs him. Chase forces herself to sit up and pays for it on an epic scale. Yeah, she’s pretty sure she’s going to toss her cookies. 

Bucky steps into the room followed by Steve.

“Jesus Christ. Call Bruce, tell him were bringing her to medical,” Bucky orders. Steve is already on the phone with Bruce before Bucky finishes his sentence. He sits on the bed as gingerly as possible. 

“It’s alright, baby. It’s okay, we’re here. We’re going to get you to Bruce,” he promises. She reaches for him and he’s got her up off the bed and in his arms while she cries in pain.

“Cover her up, Buck. She’s not wearing much, I don’t want her exposed like this,” Steve says helping Bucky to cover her bare legs. 

“Shhh, it’s okay, baby. It’s okay,” Bucky keeps telling her. She feels Steve’s hand brush her hair from her face. 

“Come on,” Steve says. “Friday, lock the door, call Stark, tell him she’s in medical.”

“Very well, Captain Rogers.”

Bucky holds her as gently as he can and she knows he’s doing his best not to hurt her, but goddamn everything hurts so fucking much and she can’t stop crying now. 

“It’s alright, baby. It’s okay. We’re here. We’re here,” he whispers as he cradles her. 

“Easy, dollface. It’s going to be alright,” Steve promises. 

The elevator ride takes a goddamn eternity to get to medical. Bucky has tried to keep from shifting her weight as much as possible, but Chase can feel herself slipping and each movement between the two of them feels like her muscles are being burned with acid. 

“What the hell happened?” 

“I don’t know. She got Friday to call me, she was crying and she can’t fucking move. Do something,” Bucky orders Bruce. 

“Yeah. Yeah, bring her in here.” 

Chase can’t see anything more than a blur for all the tears. She’d kill for something to knock her the fuck out right now.

“Put her on the bed here,” Bruce instructs. She feels Steve moving the blanket around and then Bucky gently puts her on the bed. She forces her atrophied arm muscles to let him go causing herself that much more pain. Bucky sits next to her as best he can and Steve sits a little further down, his hand rubbing her leg lightly. 

“Cover her back up, Steve,” Bucky says. Steve fixes the blanket and covers Chase’s exposed legs and then goes back to petting her softly. Bucky is holding the tissue box for Chase, pushing her hair back, dabbing her eyes.  She can see them now and they look terrified and worried. 

“It’s going to be okay, baby,” Bucky tells her again. He takes her hand gently in his own and holds hit. 

She starts crying all over again. She’s breaking her own heart and she loves these two idiots.

Bruce comes in with a nurse who is carrying two IV bags. Bruce has the IV needles to get her started. 

“Buck, you’ll need to move. Just long enough for me to get her IV started so we can get her back on the morphine,” Bruce tells him. Chase hears Bucky growl, but he moves out of the way.

“Don’t hurt her,” Steve orders.

“Not my intention to do so,” Bruce tells him. “You’ll feel a stick. I’ll make this as quick and painless as I can, Chase.”

She doesn’t care. She just wants the pain to stop. She wants Bucky and Steve and she wants to go to sleep.

“In. Get the drip started, Megan.”

“How much are you giving her?” Bucky asks. He’s watching Bruce intently as he fills the syringe with morphine. Steve is just as watchful.

“Enough to take away her pain. It’ll knock you out, Chase. You’ll sleep. When you wake up we’ll see where your pain level is.”

“Don’t give her too much,” Steve tells him. 

“Remind me where you two got your degrees from again?” Bruce asks pointedly. 

Chase can feel the morphine burn slightly as it enters her bloodstream. She stops crying and she sees Bruce get up and Bucky resume his place at her side. The room is getting softer looking, the conversation between Bruce and Steve and Bucky is nothing more than buzzing. She closes her eyes. 


	27. Tony's Meeting Gets Interrupted

Tony’s watch vibrates and then his phone does. Pepper sees he’s distracted, which, given where they are is not unusual. 

“Tony?” Pepper whispers, leaning over to him as the board directors keep droning on.

“We’re cutting this short,” Tony announces. “I’ve had something very important come up.”

“Tony?” 

“Mr. Stark, this meeting has already been delayed several times,” the board director protests. Tony ignores him and looks at Pepper.

“Chase is back in medical,” he says getting up. “Friday, Barnes, Rogers and Bruce have all called in succession.”

“What happened?” Pepper asks nervously.

“Mr. Stark -”

“I don’t know, Pepper,” Tony says hastily.

“ _ Mr. Stark! _ ”

“What!” Tony yells angrily at the director. 

“I’ll handle things from here,” Pepper tells him. “Go see what’s going on.”

Tony glares at the director and then heads from the room. He calls Bruce as soon as he’s in the elevator of the hotel the meeting was in.

“Tony -”

“Bruce, what the fuck is going on?”

“Barnes brought her down her this morning. She called him because she couldn’t move.”

“I’m on my way there. Is she safe? Is she alright?”

“She’s safe. I have her on an IV and I dosed her with a good amount of morphine. She’s asleep.”

“I’ll be there soon.” Tony says and hangs up. 

He’s inside the tower in just under twenty minutes and he immediately heads to medical. He finds Bruce talking to Barnes and Rogers in the hall.

“How is she?”

“Sleeping. She’s got some new injuries,” Bruce says scratching his head.

“We think it may be from when Peter caught her,” Rogers adds.

“Explain to me why he had to catch her again?” Bruce asks. 

“She jumped,” Barnes says tensely. “She jumped because…” he stops talking and shakes his head. He folds his arms across his chest and hangs his head.

“Because she thought that would get her home. Because she was so pissed off at us that she’d rather risk death then deal with us. The kid caught her as she was falling,” Tony finishes. Bruce looks mortified. Rogers has his head down now as well. For all the animosity he bears towards Barnes and the lesser amount he has for Rogers, he knows that all three of them are hurting because of what happened with Chase. He knows that if the kid hadn’t caught her…

“That explains the fractured rib and additional bruising on her right side,” Bruce states. 

“Jesus…” Tony groans. “How long till she wakes up?”


	28. Chase Awakens

Chase opens her eyes. Her brain feels fuzzy like it’s coated in fleece. She’s sore and groggy. The pain is much, much better. She goes to sit up and all the alarms in the room go off at once. 

“Of fuck off,” she growls. She pushes herself up as best she can and sees the door open. She sees Bruce and a nurse come in. The nurse quiets the machines after a few moments.

“How are you feeling?” Bruce asks. 

“Groggy.”

The nurse adjusts the bed so Chase can sit up more easily.

“I gave you a lot of morphine. Just this side of regulation limits. Do you remember how you got here?” Bruce asks gently. Chase isn’t sure she understands the question.

“Lumber truck?”

“That’s the first time I’ve heard someone reference Bucky that way,” Bruce laughs. Chase shakes her head and smiles. 

“Bucky brought me. I had Friday call him because Tony was at some business thing.”

“Just making sure you’re coherent. Tony, Steve and your lumber truck are waiting to see you. Do you feel like talking to them? Given what’s happened the last twelve hours or so if you don’t want to I’ll just tell them you fell back asleep,” Bruce offers. Chase is trying hard not to laugh at Bruce’s referral to Bucky as lumber truck. She has a sneaking suspicion that will forever be how Bruce views Sergeant Barnes now. 

“Are they arguing?”

“Oddly enough, no. All three of them are very sullen, like the horrible little boys they are.”

Bruce’s comments are off the hook. Or she is. Maybe both. Either way, he’s amusing her. 

“Are you going to call Bucky  _ lumber truck _ to his face?” she asks. 

“Yeah, no. Not intentionally. He’s a moody shit. Except around you apparently. And Steve.”

“I don’t...I don’t even know how this works now, Bruce,” Chase admits. 

“What do you mean?”

“They have my memories from when I was here before...but none of it happened...not all of it, just some of it…” She’s trying to get this to make sense and it’s not. It just is not making sense.

“I’m not the astrophysicist portal hopping sorcerer here, but maybe it’s Newton’s third law - every action has an equal and opposite reaction. The decisions you made outside of this world altered what happened here, just like our actions around you when you arrived caused other reactions to happen. History only tends to repeat itself in the most general sense. Do you understand?”

“Mostly. Delaying the inevitable in my world changed some things here, which then began a ripple effect.”

“Like skipping a stone over water.”

“And whatever voodoo Dr. Strange pulled in the penthouse forced the memories I have of this place onto everyone in the room.”

“Not just the room, Chase. Natasha caught it, I caught it, and from what Tony told me, Peter caught it. Anyone who was directly affected by your presence was bombarded, for lack of a better term, with your memories.”

“I’m sorry, Bruce. I am…”

“We recognized you, Chase. We all knew you somehow when you came back. It just kept getting weirder and weirder is all. It wasn’t something you meant to have happen or you caused intentionally. So...do you want to see them?”

“Yeah.”

“Chase…”

“No, it’s fine, Bruce. Just...how long are you going to hold me hostage here?” 

Bruce laughs.

“You need to stay with someone or have someone stay with you. You’re really banged up. And I heard you flung yourself off the balcony of the penthouse, so…”

“For fuck’s sake,” she groans. 

“Consider it a precautionary measure,” he says and then smiles. “Let me get them.”

Bruce opens the door and motions for the others to come in. Tony comes in first, then Steve and then Bucky. 

“How you feeling, kiddo?” Tony asks as he sits next to her. He pats her hand softly.

“Meh. Better than I was, just really fucking groggy.”

“Hey, pretty girl,” Steve says standing on the other side of where Tony is sitting. He runs his fingers over Chase’s cheek and smiles tiredly. Bucky sits down on the other side of her. He smiles, but she can see it’s forced. All three of them are out of sorts. 

“Bruce says you’ve got to stay with someone,” Tony tells her. “You can stay with Pepper and I.”

“He said stay with someone or someone stay with me, Tony. I don’t want to hear your extracurricular activities,” Chase teases. Tony shakes his head at her and sticks out his tongue. Steve is smirking and Tony elbows him.

“You can stay with me, Chase,” Steve offers. Chase looks over at Bucky. “Or Bucky…”

Bucky is running his fingers over the back of her hand. 

“Tony…”

“Yeah. Let me know when you’re done talking to Barnes and Noble here,” Tony says getting up and heading to the door. 

“Chase,” Steve says sitting down.

“How are you feeling, baby? Really?” Bucky asks, speaking for the first time. 

“I’m sorry I scared you, Bucky. You, too, Steve. I didn’t know who else -”   


“Don’t. It’s okay, baby,” Bucky says reaching for her face. She leans into his touch. “We’re just worried about you.”

Chase takes a deep breath. 

“You two have the memories from…” she shakes her head. “What happened between us - the three of us…”

“We know why you’re pissed off at us, baby. I know why you’re so goddamn angry. What we did...baby, I am so, so sorry,” Bucky whispers. She can hear the pain and torment in his voice. 

“He’s right. This should have been handled very differently. We should have done something…” Steve breaks off.

“What happened is in the past. I am angry. But the truth is...the truth is that when I needed you, all three of you were there. You didn’t hesitate,” she finishes, looking at Bucky. “Neither of you did. But I don’t know where to go from here,” she admits, fresh tears falling from her eyes.


	29. The Boys Offer Their Assistance

“Tell me what you need me to do, Chase. What you need us to do. We’ll make it happen,” Bucky promises her. The fact that she’s asking how they go from here is a good thing. 

“Anything,” Steve adds. “Anything you need, want...I know Tony will do everything he can, too.”

“That’s just it...I don’t know. I don’t know what to do,” she says as she wipes her eyes. Bucky can still see her movements are hindered and this hurts him. He’d give anything to take away her pain.

“I know you want out of here,” Steve says. He gives her that All American smile of his. Bucky shakes his head. 

“I do. I want to sleep in a normal bed, but I can’t be alone and I don’t want to be a burden -”

“You’re not,” Bucky interjects quickly. “You’ve got three choices, baby.”

“Three?” she asks, confused at her options.

“Stay with me, stay with Steve or have one of us stay with you,” Bucky answers. He’s not going to hold his breath. She may tell them both to fuck off again. She has absolutely every right to. He’s hoping and praying that she chooses an option with him in it, though. Selfish as it may seem and as unfair as it may be to Steve…

Chase is silent. He can see she’s weighing her options right now. 

“I don’t need to inconvenience both of you,” she says at long last. “If you want to take turns…”

“What if we come as a package set?” Bucky asks gently.

“Like we were before,” she adds absently. She shakes her head. Steve looks over at him and Bucky can tell Steve’s worried they’re pushing their luck. 

“Not right away,” Steve says. “Just…”

“For right now we’ll take care of you,” Bucky says picking up where Steve was unable to continue. “One of will be with you at all times. Anything you need one of us will get it.”

“I can’t ask you either of you to do this,” she objects tearfully.

“You don’t have to, Chase. But you have to tell us how you want this to play out,” Steve says gently. 

“Bucky’s got that goddamn tech torn apart at his place. I’ve never seen yours, Steve. I don’t….I can’t ask you to do this.”

Defiant till the very end. Bucky looks over at Steve. Steve nods his head. 

“We’ll stay with you, baby. If you want us to. We can sleep on the couches, we’ll bring our gear over,” Bucky tells her.

“I’ll tell Stark that only one of us will be going on missions until you’re able to be on your own. We’ll flip a coin if we have to,” Steve tells her. 


	30. Chase and the Boys Agree

Chase wipes her eyes. Bucky hands her a tissue and gently brushes her hair from her brow. He’s trying so hard. So is Steve. Bruce hasn’t left her with many options, and the boys are willing to sleep on her couches just to make sure someone is there with her. 

Which leads her to another thought - are they going to shower with her, too? Will all three of them fit in that damned garden tub? Naked? She can’t help but smile and laugh a bit.

“She’s plotting,” Bucky says playfully. 

“No,” she says shaking her head. “Just…”

“The garden tub?” Bucky asks. Steve looks confused. Chase is more than a bit surprised. 

“I...Bucky…” she’s at a loss for words. Does she tell him that’s what she was thinking? About them getting naked and soaking together? Or that her mind brought her to the first time she and Bucky had sex, him pulling her by her thighs till she was on his lap, riding him while he rubbed her clit till she had an explosive orgasm. 

“Chase?” Bucky is smirking. Goddammit. 

“I’m missing something,” Steve grumbles.

“I have no food to offer you two, nothing in the bathroom as far as normal shower supplies...hell I don’t even have clothes….I have no way to repay either of you,” she says, refocusing the conversation.

“We’ll figure out the food situation. One of us can go shopping. Tell us what you need, we’ll get it,” Steve states. 

“We’ve got this, baby.”

There’s a knock at the door and Tony pops his head in.

“Have you three had enough time to chit chat?”

“We’re staying with her,” Steve tells him. Tony’s eyes widen.

“Both of you, huh?” he asks smartly. Bucky shakes his head. Chase puts her hand on his, the bruising now coming around her wrist. He puts his other hand overtop of hers, holding her hand gently between his own.

“Both of them,” Chase says tiredly. “They’ve worked out the details for the most part.”

Tony nods his head. 

“Where’s the card I gave you, kiddo?”

“In the apartment on the coffee table.”

“Take the card, whichever one of you is getting her what she need. Everything you buy her goes on that card,” Tony instructs.

“We can take care of her, Tony,” Steve argues.

“Anything she needs goes on that card,” Tony says again, more firmly this time. “Clothes, shoes, food, whatever. You tell them what you want, kiddo. I can send Pepper out for the things they can’t get or you don’t want to tell them about.”

Chase smiles. Tony is trying to save the boys from any embarrassment with the female side of things. 

“We’ll take care of it, Tony,” Bucky says quietly. Tony nods.

“I gave you two buffoons your time. Give me mine,” Tony tells them. 

Chase can see Bucky is reluctant to leave her. He's scared. She is, too.

“Give me a few. Then maybe I can get the fuck out of here,” Chase tells them. Steve caresses her cheek again. Bucky pats her hand softly and gets up. Chase sees Bucky look over at Tony then back at her. He smiles and he and Steve exit the room.


	31. Tony and Chase Talk

Tony watches the two bosom buddies leave. He turns his attentions back to Chase.

“Are you sure about this? After what they did? What we all did?”

“They volunteered and I’m not staying with you and spoiling Pepper’s fun,” Chase tells him.

“Even after...Chase, I know what happened. I know you agreed to date the two of them. I know you and Rogers had...and that Barnes found out and walked out on you, even though this was his goddamn idea,” Tony persists. 

Chase is studying him. He’s only bringing this up to try and keep her from getting hurt. Again. He understands now why he felt that connection to her right off the bat. She's the closest thing he’s ever had to a sister.

“I know what happened, Tony. But it was my decision to accept them both. They didn’t force me into that. What happened…” she sighs. 

“I told you before, if he hurts you I will kill him. This world, that world, any world. The same goes for Rogers. I can’t tell you how to live your life, kiddo. I can’t tell you who to love, regardless of your really, really shitty choices in men -”

“Tony,” she warns.

“The point is, Chase, it is your life. You’re here. This is your home. Love who you want. Don’t let them hurt you, though. Promise me if they hurt you, either of them, you’ll come to me.”

“I promised you I would, Tony.”

“Let them take care of you, Chase. If there’s something they’re too manly to get you, call me and I’ll get Pepper to get it. Until you’re up to it, at least. And we have to go back to the entourage -”

“I know, Starky. It’s okay,” she says and smiles. 

“I really do think mom would have loved you, kiddo.”


	32. Time To Take Their Girl Home

Steve sees the door open and Tony emerge from the room. 

“I don’t agree with the plan here,” Tony says slowly, “but it is her choice. So help me, if you two do anything - _ anything _ \- to hurt her…”

“We won’t, Stark. The last thing any of us want is to see her hurt anymore,” Bucky states, looking Tony directly in the eyes. Those times Buck’s looked at Tony directly are few and far between, the guilt from Tony’s parents still eats at him, and Tony lets Bucky know he has not forgiven him.

Tony nods his head.

“Take care of her or it’s your heads,” Tony warns and then walks away. 

“Did I come back at a bad time?” Bruce asks, looking miffed by Tony’s exiting statement. 

“No,” Steve says. “Tony was just giving us a parting warning.”

“Got it. What are we doing?” Bruce asks. Steve looks over at Bucky. 

“We’re going to stay with her in her apartment till she’s better,” Bucky explains. Bruce nods, not at all surprised seemingly by this arrangement. 

“Let’s get her out of here,” Bruce says opening the door to Chase’s room. Steve let’s Bucky go first and then he follows. 

“Ready to get out of here?” Bruce asks. 

“This bed sucks,” she complains. Steve can’t help but grin. Chase is a pistol. 

“Fair enough. I’m giving you cyclobenzaprine. It’s a muscle relaxer. You’ll be loopy if you manage to stay awake. 5mg to start, three times a day with meals.”

“Any side effects?” Bucky asks. Steve takes the bottle from Bruce and looks it over.

“The most common ones are drowsiness, dizziness, nausea, upset stomach, constipation -”

“Super,” Chase mutters. Bucky is smirking. Steve is, too. 

“If she starts complaining of her heart racing, or feeling like it’s fluttering or she starts hallucinating or she’s more agitated than usual, get her down her fast. Understand?”

“Got it,” Steve says tossing Bucky the bottle. 

“Chase, do you understand? If you start having any of those other symptoms you need to tell one of them,” Bruce advises. 

“I got it, Bruce. Can we please get this damn thing out of me now? I just want to go take a shower.”

“Open that cabinet and hand me a two gauze pads and that roll of pink stuff,” Bruce tells Steve. Steve pops open the cabinet and grabs what Bruce asked for. Bucky takes Chase’s hand as Bruce pulls the IV out. She flinches.

“Easy, pretty girl, he’s done,” Steve cooes. Bruce folds the gauze and places it over the puncture site then wraps her arm in the pink stuff. 

“Take it off when you get to your apartment. You should be alright by then. Eat something and then take one of the pills. If you three need anything, call me,” Bruce instructs. 

“We’ve got this,” Steve tells him. Bruce nods and smiles then leaves.

“Are you sure you two want to do this?” Chase asks. She’s moving very slowly and Steve knows the morphine will be wearing off soon.

“Absolutely,” he says. 

“Want to try and stand up, baby?” Bucky asks. He extends his hands to her and Steve can see he’s shaking a little. Bucky was more invested in her than he was. Not to say that Steve didn’t have feelings for her, because clearly he did, and does now. Those memories...they burned their way into his heart. Not all of it makes sense, he has to admit, but the parts that do - Bucky was right when he said that he loved her. Steve loves her, too. 

Chase is defiant of them both, however and pushes herself up off the bed. She cries out as her legs give a little. Steve is next to Bucky immediately, both of them with their arms around her, holding her steady. 

“Easy, baby,” Bucky whispers to her. 

“Carry her, Buck.”   


“I can walk,” Chase argues. 

“Chase,” Steve warns.

“Baby, no. Look at what you’re wearing,” Bucky tells her. Chase looks at herself and puckers her lips. She’s in a t-shirt and a pair of panties and that’s it. 

“I don’t want to be babied -”

“Alright, alright,” Steve says trying to give her what she wants. 

“At least let us wrap the blanket around you, doll. Don’t want that creeper from the mailroom chasing you around again do you?” he teases.

Chase gives Bucky a look and then smiles a little. Steve wraps the blanket around her and carefully tucks it. Steve looks over to Bucky to make sure he’s good to catch Chase if she falters again. Bucky nods.

“Come on, pretty girl,” Steve says. “Let’s get you home and situated.”


	33. Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore

Chase’s muscles are starting to tense up again. She can tell the morphine will be out of her system here in short order and she is not looking forward to it. She’s struggling to get her legs to carry her right now. Steve and Bucky are on either side of her, walking slowly with her. She can see by the looks on their faces how concerned they are. 

She has to stop halfway to the elevators. Her legs hurt too much. 

“Come on, baby,” Bucky says scooping her up. He lifts her like it’s nothing and then cradles her body gently in his arms. She’s missed that safe feeling from being in his arms. She’s missed him. 

She feels Steve’s fingers in her hair at the base of her skull, massaging softly. Sweet Christ...she’s missed them both so much. 

They get to the elevator and get in.

“You can put me down, Bucky. I’ll be alright.”

“I’ve got you, doll,” he says softly. She feels him pull her a little closer, reluctant to give in to her and put her down.

“Let him carry you, dollface. Give your muscles a break. You’ve been through hell, let us help,” Steve tells her. 

Chase sighs. 

“It’s alright, baby. Like Tony said, let us take care of you.”

“You’re a shit,” she tells him. She’s trying not to laugh at his antics. She’s supposed to be mad at them both. She also knows she isn’t mad anymore - hurt still, yes, but not mad.

“Yeah, yeah,” Bucky grumbles. “You’re a stubborn ass.”

“Oh god, Buck. Why?” Steve groans. Chase is completely shocked by Bucky’s little outburst. 

“I beg your pardon there, smartass?” She says.

“You heard me, doll. Stubborn ass.”

“I learned it by watching you, you jackass,” she retaliates. 

“Off to a great start,” Steve mutters as the elevator doors open.

“What the hell did I do - aside from the thing, but we aren’t talking about that,” Bucky says.

“Seriously? You’re serious with yourself right now?” Chase demands as he carries her to the apartment. 

“Buck…” Steve warns. Chase can hear the amusement in Steve’s voice.

“Yeah. How did you learn to be a stubborn brat by watching me?” Bucky asks. Chase isn’t sure if he’s teasing her or if he’s serious. 

They step inside her apartment and Bucky puts her down gently on the couch. He’s grinning that goddamn playful grin of his.   


“Just wait. I’m going to kick your ass,” she threatens. He sits next to her and laughs a little.   


“I’m just fucking with you, Chase. That’s all. I just want to see you smile,” Bucky says, the playful grin fading now. Chase looks at Steve who is seated on the coffee table across from them.    


“Guys...it’s not going to go back to the way it was right away - if at all. I appreciate what you’re trying to do and that you want to help, but I think your motives are skewed. I’m not going back to dating. Either one of you, much less both of you together. I can’t.”   


Steve and Bucky are hurt by her words, which was not her intent for the most part. She needs to make sure they understand this isn’t a way for them to get back into her life and fuck her again - figuratively or literally.    


“I know you’re upset, Chase. Rightfully so after what you had happen to you. We’re not trying to push you one way or another. All we want to do is take care of you,” Steve explains. 

“That’s it,” Bucky adds softly. “We just want to know you’re safe and healthy, baby. I don’t expect anything, Steve doesn’t either. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hoping for this to work out for us, but I understand, baby.”

Chase feels like her heart is breaking. She can’t do this. The two of them are looking at her, and she can see how badly they want to try and make things work out, how much they just want to jump right back in.

“I need to take a shower,” she says, choosing to not deal with the elephant in the room.

“Are you...do you think you’ll be alright on your own in there?” Steve asks.

“Nice try, Rogers,” she says with a smirk. “Last time you had me in the shower Armageddon happened.”

“Yeah, about that…” Bucky says miserably. 

“Stop, please. It’s done. It’s over. I just want to get cleaned up.”

“Steve, grab her something to wear from the bedroom and I’ll help her to the bathroom,” Bucky instructs. 

“There’s not much in there,” Chase warns. 

“We’ll take care of that later, dollface,” Steve promises. He gets up and heads back to the bedroom. 

“Come on, baby. I’ll order food so when you’re done you can eat and take one of those pills, alright?” Bucky offers. “What do you want to eat?”

She studies him for a moment. He still has that look of adoration in his eyes for her, but now it’s mixed with heartache. He and Steve both are desperately trying to make things right. She’s torn now, between diving back into this clusterfuck or holding off. 

“Pizza is fine,” she answers and then looks away. She can’t stand to see the hurt in his eyes or the love. She can see him look away and go to his phone. 

Steve is coming around the couch now. 

“I put your clothes I could find in the bathroom, angel.”

Chase gives him a weak smile. 

“What kind of pizza do you want, punk?”

“I don’t care. What are you eating, Chase?”

“Pepperoni and extra cheese. Use Tony’s card, Bucky,” she says pointing to the black card on the table. Bucky grins and flashes his own card. 

“I got this. Hey, order for delivery,” he says. 

Chase listens to him place the order and rubs her arms. The bruising is stupid. And the kid cracked her rib when he caught her skydiving without a parachute. 

“Baby?”

She looks over at Bucky. He was reaching for her but stopped when she looked at him. Jesus Christ….how could she forget about his need for physical contact? Goddammit. 

“Sorry. What?”

“Want me or Steve to help you back to the shower? We can wait outside and if something happens…”

“I’ll be alright.” She’s not sure if that’s the truth or a lie. She forces herself off the couch and her side and back and arms and everything are agitated. Such horseshit.

She sees Bucky is up off the couch, his arms out to catch her should she falter. Steve is watching her, trying to give her space but not enough that if she falls she’ll hit the fucking floor. 

“I know what you’re going to say to this, but I’m going to throw it out there anyway just because you look like you’re going to faint or fall,” Steve says. “Let one of us stay in the bathroom with you-“

“No.”

“Don’t push her, Steve,” Bucky says softly. “It’s alright, baby. We’ll be right outside the door.”

“Promise us that if you feel lightheaded or you feel like you’re going to fall you’ll yell,” Steve pleads. 

They’re trying. They’re trying so hard and goddammit she wants to be held. She wants to cuddle up with her boys. She wants to hold Bucky while Steve holds her and they play with her hair and bicker with one another while she laughs and this could fucking work if they tried harder and now she's fucking crying. 

“Jesus Christ, Chase! Baby, what’s wrong? What hurts?”

“What do you need? What’s wrong, sweet girl?”

Well, that only made it worse. Now they’ve surrounded her, but are too goddamn scared to put their hands on her. 

“I hate you both,” she cries. She sees them look at each other and the hurt on their face can be seen even through her tears. 

“Chase…” Steve doesn’t continue. Bucky looks like he’s about to break down, too. 

“I fucking hate you both for making me love you so much. I missed you two assholes. I don’t want you to not touch me. Goddamn you,” she sobs. The first set of arms she feels belong to Bucky. She’d know his touch anywhere. Then she feels Steve’s arms, adjusting for where Bucky’s are, both of them being stupidly careful not to squeeze her too hard. Bucky has his head rested against her temple, she can feel the heat from him radiating onto her skin. 

“I’m sorry, baby,” Bucky says. She can hear his voice shaking as he speaks, she knows he’s most likely in tears, as well. 

“It won’t ever happen again, doll. I promise you that.”

“You two are such shits.”

“Yes we are,” Steve agrees with her. 

“Yup.” That’s all she gets from Bucky. 

She forces her arms to move and puts one arm around Bucky as best she can and the other around Steve as best she can. Both the boys close any distance between their bodies and hers. 

“I need to take a shower,” she says after they’ve stood their in their group hug for a few minutes. “You’re both still jerks.”

She’s at least stopped crying for the moment. 

“Come on, baby,” Bucky says lifting his head finally, “by the time you’re done the food should be here.”

“I’ll stay out here, help her back there. Remember, if you feel faint -“ 

“Yes, El Capitano, I will yell,” She says cutting him off. Bucky is smirking and Steve glares at him. 

“Let’s get you showered, doll,” Bucky says as he wraps his arm around her waist and walks with her down the hall. 


	34. Are You Sure This Is Right?

Bucky walks slowly with Chase toward the bathroom. The swelling on her arms and face has gone down but the bruising...Jesus Christ…

Tony told Steve that she’d been hit by a log truck. He’d gone to the garage and looked at her car. She shouldn’t have survived. The car was nearly compacted into nothing. He could barely make out the airbag. He knows they had to pry her out of the car when she arrived here. 

He’s still caught up in what she said in the living room. That she missed them. She missed them enough to let them hold her, even briefly. It’s more than he could have hoped for at this juncture. 

“You have your thinking face on. Why?” She asks him when they get to the door to the bathroom. 

“Thinking about you,” he answers truthfully as they step inside the bathroom. He remembers in her other place the tiles and bathroom were a deep blue. This one is done in like a charcoal gray almost. The differences are confusing, especially when he’s still sorting his shit out to begin with.

“Bucky.” She’s stopped and he almost pulled her over. He comes to a halt and she runs her fingers along his jaw. His eyes close, it’s an involuntary reaction to her touch. 

“You’re struggling,” she says as she looks him over. The memories that are now shared...she was always able to pick up on this with him. She just had this way of knowing. He feels his heartbeat quicken a little. 

“No, baby, I’m alright -“

“Bullshit.”

“Okay then I’m not?”

She shakes her head at him. He sighs and looks around the bathroom. 

“It’s different,” he says finally.  He looks at her and sees her looking around the bathroom, too.

“Yeah. Used to be that nice blue. Almost as pretty as your eyes.”

If she was attempting to make him blush, she succeeded. 

“Yeah?”

“Almost. Other weird shit, too. I know if it’s fucking with my head it’s really fucking with yours. I’m sorry.” She’s apologizing for something she has no control over.

“Don’t, baby. If Steve and Tony and I hadn’t been so goddamn stupid and callous -“

“You would have still walked out when you found Steve and I in the bedroom doing post coital cuddles. You still would have yelled that I shouldn’t have fucked him so soon…”

Bucky bites his lip and nods his head. 

“Maybe. Maybe that would have been different, too. Like other things.”

“I don’t know…”

“You know Nat and Steve are and never were a thing here?”

Chase is beyond surprised by this. Her brown eyes are huge and she looks puzzled. 

“I don’t belong here.”

“No. Don’t say that, you do.”

“No, Bucky, this is wrong. All of this...one or two small things being different would be okay. We’re talking about big differences now. Nat and Steve, the furniture -”

“How do you explain the bedroom set in the antique store?” he asks her. She blinks. He’s confused her again.

“The cherry one? The ten grand one?”

“That one.”

“You bought that for us before…” she stops. He knows thinking about what happened hurts her. It hurts him. 

“I went for a walk yesterday, before all the shit hit the fan. I was in Central Park and got drawn towards this antique store. I’ve never seen the place before, never set foot inside it -”

“See? This is what I mean. It’s wrong, Bucky,” she protests. He puts his finger to her lips to quiet her. 

“I saw finger trails on the headboard, Chase. I knew they were yours. How would I have known that?”

“I don’t know,” she says shaking her head. “I don’t have an answer.”

“There’s more.”

“Bucky…”

“Listen to me, baby. The day you arrived and you were in medical? Steve was the only one who got to see you out him, me and Wilson. Steve recognized you. He knew who you were. He just couldn’t place you. When Wilson mentioned your name - your full name - I recognized that. I knew that name, but I couldn’t figure out how.”

“I don’t understand...things are off, they’re wrong,” she persists. 

“I saw you leaving with Pepper to go to the store yesterday. Maybe you didn’t see me, but I saw you. I saw you and I knew - _ I knew _ \- Chase, that I loved you more than life. I knew your kisses, your laugh, your smile, your touch. I knew you. I had to call Steve because I thought I was losing my goddamn mind.”

She doesn’t respond, which worries him. He can see she’s scared, she’s been through a lot recently. 

“I did everything I could to not come back. I don’t think I came back, though,” she says finally.

“Then how did I know you before Strange did his parlor trick in the penthouse? How did I know those were your finger trails in the dust on the headboard of that bedroom set? How did Steve recognize you just from that one glance?”

“I don’t know. Things are out of alignment,” she says cautiously.

“Maybe. But don’t you think there’s a reason? Don’t you think there’s a reason you came back?”

“What reason, Buck? What reason could there be to have me brought back in such a fucking violent manner?” she demands. 

“Love.”


	35. Love?

Chase’s head is spinning.

“Love? Love would have me hit head on by a semi carrying felled tree trunks?”

“You don’t really think it was going to deposit you here on a cushion of air supported by winged cherubs, do you?” Bucky asks. The hint of playful sarcasm is there.

“Winged cherubs,” she repeats and he smiles. 

“Maybe you were expecting to arrive in a clam shell like Venus?”

“Steve!”

Bucky is now laughing.

“Baby, seriously, Loki brought you here to fuck with us initially. Strange managed to send you back - or hell, maybe that was Loki, too, and that’s why you remembered everything.”

“What did you do?” Steve asks from the bathroom door. 

“Nothing. Much,” Bucky says. 

“What did he do, doll?” Steve asks. 

“He’s being a shit.”

“So, he’s being himself?” 

“You can have your ass beat, you know that right?” Bucky threatens. Steve grins. Chase can’t hide her smile. 

“Nah.”

“Boys. Stop,” Chase says, making Bucky clamp his mouth shut and Steve grin like he’s won the argument. 

“Food’s going to be here soon,” Steve advises. 

“Get in the shower, baby. I’ll be outside the door, alright?” 

Steve smiles and dips back out into the hall. Bucky reaches for her face, but stops. 

“Still afraid to touch me?”

“I don’t want to piss you off.”

“What makes you so sure I’m where I’m supposed to be?” she asks. Bucky takes a deep breath.

“I just do. I can’t trust my head, but I can trust my heart.”

Chase has to bite her lip to keep from breaking down again. 

“Bucky…”

“Love doesn’t die, Chase. It doesn’t fade. Not if it’s real. Loki brought you here the first time. Love brought you back. You love me as much as I love you. I know you do. I see it in those beautiful brown eyes. I know Steve loves you, too. I know you love him...maybe not as much as me, but…” 

There he goes being an ass again. 

“You’re an ass,” she says and then laughs a little. He grins, clearly wanting this to be the result of his dumb statement. 

“Yeah, but if it makes you smile, it’s worth it. Are you sure you don’t want some help?”

This time he’s being serious. He’s looking at the bruising on her arms when he asks. 

“The arms aren’t so bad, but my ribs hurt,” she says lifting her shirt a little to show him more bruising. He winces. 

“The kid caught you pretty hard. Don’t you ever, ever do something that fucking dumb again.”

“I’m surprised I did it the first time, Bucky,” she says casually. “I’m afraid of heights.”


	36. Can We Agree On Starting Over?

“You’re a shit. Afraid of heights? Jesus Christ, Chase,” Bucky groans. He’s trying not to laugh because this is serious, but she’s doing that thing where she says dumb shit to make him smile. Much like he does to her.

She shrugs. 

“You want to get in with me, don’t you?” she asks after a few quiet moments.

Bucky opens his mouth to say yes, but then closes it when no words come out. He does want to get in with her. He wants to see the full extent of the damage to her beautiful body. He wants to help her wash her hair and body and just be able to touch her skin. He wants to know that if she starts getting woozy that he’ll be there to catch her and none of them will have to worry about her cracking her damn head open in the shower.

“I do,” he says finally, “but not for anything sexual, Chase,” he adds hastily. She nods her head and sighs.

“You and Steve need to sort out your shit,” she says at long last. “Having you come home and then throw a goddamn temper tantrum because of something you had to have…”

“I get it. I do. But...this is kind of like starting over with a fresh slate, right?”

“I guess so…”

“So, why not include both of us in everything. Get us all used to this, together. Maybe we can try and keep this from happening again. I don’t want to lose you, neither does Steve.”

He studies her, watching her chew her bottom lip as she mulls this over. He’d been stewing on that particular thought since she forgave them in the penthouse yesterday. Maybe doing things together from the very start now will help alleviate any potential problems between them. 

“No more jealous rage bullshit?”

“Not if I can help it, no.”

“You come home and find Steve balls deep in me you’re not going to throw him through a wall?”

“You are so very graphic when you want to be,” he gripes. “And no, I won’t put the punk through a wall.”

“I’m going to ask him the same thing.”

“Just like that?”

“Yeah. If he comes home and finds you balls deep in me is he going to throw you off the balcony.”

“No, I won’t throw him off the balcony,” Steve replies. Both Bucky and Chase jump. 

“Jesus Christ,” Chase gasps putting her hand over her heart. Bucky shoots Steve a cold look.

“Easy, angel, easy,” Steve says stepping into the bathroom. Bucky’s pulled her into his arms already and he moves enough so Steve can get his arm around her, too. 

“Fucking sneaking ninja goddamn bullshit!” she snaps. 

“Your ninja bullshit is strong,” Bucky says in the worst possible Asian accent ever.

“You’re a dick,” Steve says and then laughs. Bucky can feel Chase laughing in his arms. 

“I hate you both.”

“It’s all lies. Don’t listen to her,” Bucky says, trying to egg Chase on. 

“I will kick your ass,” she promises.

“I’ll hold you to that for when you’re better. You want to eat or shower first?”

“That pizza is hot as hell,” Steve says. 

“If I agree to the shower thing...no crap from either of you, right? No fighting and no….sword fights.”

Both Bucky and Steve are grinning stupidly and Bucky knows neither of them can help it. She’s a trip. 

“No sword fights,” Steve promises as he crosses his heart.

“No sword fights, no overly excessive poking,” Bucky says. She skews an eyebrow at him and he laughs. 

“Alright. Turn the water on.”


	37. The Boys Spend The Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a long chapter.

Chase sees both the boys faces light up. Steve is already stripping and Bucky has the shower on letting the water warm up. Steve gets to his pants and looks around the bathroom.

“Wasn’t this blue?” he asks. 

“Yes,” Chase and Bucky answer together.

“I liked the blue better,” Steve muses and then drops his pants. Chase leans against the sink to watch the show. 

“So did I, to be honest,” she tells him. Steve’s now in only his black briefs. 

Bucky finally seems to have the water temp where he wants it and he turns around to see Steve is nearly naked. He looks over at Chase and smiles before pulling his shirt over his head.

She’s already dangerously aroused with Steve’s next to nakedness. Watching Bucky strip way too slowly for her liking is sending her desire into overdrive. She’d curbed that lust for over a month, but seeing them both now...she realizes just how much of a carnal creature she is. 

Bucky’s finally out of his clothes completely. Steve strips off his briefs. 

“Showers don’t work if you’re fully clothed,” Steve teases. She flips him off and works on getting the t-shirt off. Her arms hurt and it’s a struggle.

The boys are on either side of her almost instantly helping her out of the shirt and as soon as it’s off and they see the bruising from the crash and from Peter’s catch they both cringe and whimper a little. 

“Jesus Christ, Chase…” Steve groans. He reaches out and runs his fingers lightly over the bruising around her ribs and abdomen. He looks like he’s going to cry. 

“It’ll heal,” she tells him. “Maybe not as fast as you two do, but it will heal.”

Bucky isn’t doing any better and he was better prepared for this. 

“Come on, baby,” he says and extends his hand to her. She takes it and Steve gently pulls her drawers down over her legs until she’s able to step out of them. Bucky leads her to the shower with Steve following.

They step inside together and the boys go to work without a word. Chase could not have asked for more delicate attention if she’d wanted to. Bucky grabbed the soap and lathered her body up being so very careful of all the bruising, washing each part of her with the utmost care. Steve shampooed her hair, gently massaging the shampoo into her scalp then stepping aside enough to rinse it out, making sure her head was tilted back enough that the soap didn’t get in her eyes. He did the same for the conditioner. 

When they finished they hurriedly washed themselves, maneuvering around her so she stayed under the shower head for the most part and only moving enough for them to rinse off. 

Steve steps out first and grabs towels while Bucky keeps his arm around her waist to support her. 

“You have no clothes to change into,” she tells them and then smiles when she sees the dumbstruck look on Steve’s face as he hands her a gray towel. 

“Fuck,” Bucky growls. 

“Goddammit,” Steve grumbles. “I’ll get dressed and grab stuff from our places. We need our gear anyway. Help her dry off and get dressed. Keep her warm, too. The cold air in the living room’s going to lock up her muscles again more than likely,” Steve orders as he hurriedly dries off and then puts his clothes back on. 

“We got this,” Bucky says as he helps Chase wrap the towel around herself. The hot shower helped a little bit. She feels clean and her muscles feel a little looser now. 

“Don’t be long. Dinner is waiting,” she tells Steve. Steve grins and goes for the door, but then stops and turns around.

“Forget something?” Bucky asks as he grabs a towel for himself and starts to quickly dry off.

“Chase….”

“Well? Come here, you nut,” she says with a smile. He just wants a kiss. He heads over to her and kisses her softly on the cheek. She’s surprised he didn’t try for her lips. Bashful shithead. She grabs his chin and plants a kiss on his lips. He’s all smiles now. 

“Get the hell out of here,” Bucky says laughing at him. Steve disappears down the hall and a moment later Chase hears the apartment door close. 

Bucky wraps the towel around his hips leaving everything just above his pelvic bone exposed. She watches him grab another towel and bring it to her.

“See something that sparks your fancy, doll?” he asks playfully. 

“I definitely do,” she tells him, continuing to marvel at his physique. She’d love nothing more than to jump into his arms, wrap her legs around him, guide him inside her and just…

“Baby?”

“Sorry. Sorry…” 

“Are you okay, baby? That’s the second time you’ve just kind of zoned out.” 

“Is it?” she asks. Shit. 

“Yeah, it is. Chase…”

“I’m okay, honey. I just…” she laughs a little, “I zoned out looking at you.”

“I missed the pet name,” he says and gives her that half grin. “But, I’m still worried. I’m going to help you get dressed and when the punk gets back I’m calling Bruce.”

“Bucky,” she fusses, “I’m alright.”

“I want to be sure. Come on,” he says grabbing the godawful granny panties she’s been forced to wear till she gets more clothes. “Jesus these fucking things are horrible,” he gripes looking at them.

“Better or worse than the boy shorts?” she asks.

“Smartass. Worse. Easy does it,” he says helping her step into the fugly drawers. “We have got to get you clothes, baby.”

Chase laughs. 

“Crotchless edible thongs?”

She hears Bucky snort as she adjusts the drawers. 

“I was thinking maybe something a little more comfortable. Actually,” he says, his eyes lighting up, “hold that thought.” He grabs his jeans from the floor and gets his phone.

“Hey, where are you?....I need you to go back and grab like five more pairs of my boxers….Why? Why what? They gave her shit to wear and she likes the goddamn things.”

Chase can tell Steve is giving Bucky shit about going back. She’s guessing he was on his way back here with their stuff when Bucky called him. 

Bucky hangs up and smiles.

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to. I seem to recall you saying those goddamn boy shorts of yours were comfortable,” he teases.

“I seem to recall you telling me to wear yours.”

“See?” he says and grins. “Step out of these goddamn things.”

He helps her out of them and then helps her wrap the towel back around herself. He puts his arms around her and runs his fingers through her quickly forming curls.

“You’re still soaked, Bucky,” she says playing with a soaked lock of his dark hair. 

“I can dry off once we get you situated. He needs to hurry up,” Bucky says looking at the door. She leans into him and puts her head on his shoulder. He responds instantly by pulling her closer, holding her gently with one arm and rubbing her back softly with the other. God how she’s missed this. 

She hears the door open and she looks up.

“Steve?” Bucky calls. He’s going into defensive mode.

“Yeah. I’ve got our shit,” Steve yells. Bucky relaxes a little. 

“It’s alright, honey,” she whispers. He rests his head on hers and sighs. 

“Here’s your damn clothes and your boxers,” Steve says coming into the bathroom. “Why isn’t she dressed? She’s going to be hurting more now,” he says scolding Bucky.

“Look at these goddamn things,” Bucky says tossing the granny panties at Steve. “She can’t wear these. They’re gross and uncomfortable.”

“Neither of which is anything I said,” Chase laughs. 

“They are gross,” Steve concurs looking at them in disgust. “Can’t imagine her in your nasty boxers will be any better.”

“Alright, punk, let’s see, shall we?” Bucky grumbles. He unfolds one of the pairs the Steve shoved at him and helps Chase into them. Soooo much better than the grannies.

“See?” Bucky says proudly. Steve shakes his head and gets the tank top he grabbed from the bedroom for her to put on. She’s just able to move enough to get her arms in the shirt. 

“Alright, angel, alright. We’re almost done,” Steve promises as he smooths the tank out over her sides.  

“I’m going to clean up again and I’ll meet you two in the living room. Eat something, please. Let Buck give you that pill. Okay?” Steve beseeches. 

“I will. Don’t be long.”

Steve smiles as he strips down again. Bucky’s opening the drawers in the vanity looking for something.

“Comb and brush are in the last drawer, honey.” 

Bucky looks up and smiles, grabs the brush and runs it through his hair. She sees Steve look at Bucky then to her. He smiles timidly. 

“We can talk about whatever you’re thinking when you’re done,” she tells him. Steve grins. 

“Come on, baby,” Bucky says putting his arm around her and guiding her out of the bathroom. She hears the shower go back on. 

“Holy shit, it is cold in here,” she mutters as soon as they step into the hall. 

“Yeah, it is. Temp must have dropped outside. I’ll get you a blanket once I get you settled in the living room.”

He does as he promises, helping her get comfortable on one of the couches and then disappearing again. He comes back moments later with a blanket and wraps it around her making sure her arms are free. 

“Aren’t you cold?” she asks.

“Freezing.”

“It’s cold in here,” Steve says coming around the couch rubbing his arms. He grabs one of his tees from the other couch and throws it on. Chase can see the shield is buried under the remainder of their clothes along with Bucky’s weapon holsters. 

“Do you want to turn the a/c down?” Chase offers. Bucky is putting a tee of his own on. 

“Yeah. Like 74?” Steve asks Bucky. Bucky nods. Steve goes to adjust the a/c and Bucky gets plates and brings Chase a couple of slices of pizza.

“What do you want to drink, baby? I got Pepsi and this Mellow Yellow shit.”

Chase laughs. “I’ll have the Pepsi, please.” 

Bucky disappears and Steve follows him. They come back with plates of pizza and drinks for everyone. They sit on either side of her and she unwraps herself from the blanket and helps spread it between the three of them. Bucky hands her the pill and she takes it. They turn on the TV and sit quietly for a bit.

It doesn’t take long for Chase to start feeling sleepy. Bucky catches her glass when she lets it slide from her hand.

“She’s done,” Steve says taking her plate. “Come on, angel, time for bed.”

“Alright,” she agrees. Bucky takes the plates from Steve and heads to the kitchen with them. Steve helps her off the couch and into his arms. He’s warm, his shirt smells like his cologne. 

“Steve?”

“She’s done, Buck,” he says. He picks Chase up with ease and carries her back to the bedroom. She looks over his shoulder and Bucky following them. He smiles at her. 

Bucky pulls the covers back and Steve puts her on the bed. They’re both reluctant to leave. 

“Do you need anything, baby?” Bucky asks, toying with a large curl. 

“Just you two. I don’t want to sleep alone. I’ve done that enough the past month,” she says softly. She sees Steve and Bucky look at each other.

“Baby...are you sure? Maybe this is that goddamn pill,” Bucky says.

“No, I’m sure. I don’t...I’m cold, you two are cold…”

The boys glance at each other. Chase sighs.

“Are you sure, angel?”

“Yes. Want me to sign a waiver?” she jokes. The boys grin.

“Friday, turn off the living room lights,” Steve orders. Chase can see the hallway get darker.

Bucky strips his shirt off first and Chase slides over to the middle of the bed. He slides in next to her. Steve takes his shirt off and gets in on the other side of her. Bucky rolls onto his side to face her, Steve curls up behind her and pulls the blankets up. He spoons up behind Chase, putting his arm over her hip and bringing himself up against her. Bucky positions himself so his arm is just above Steve’s. She feels Steve nuzzle her neck and then kiss her cheek. Bucky kisses her softly on the lips.

“Friday, turn out the lights,” Bucky orders. The room goes dark.

“Goodnight, angel,” Steve whispers. 

“Goodnight, baby,” Bucky tells her.

“Night, boys.” 

Chase falls asleep in their arms feeling safer than she has in over a month. 


	38. Nightmares

Bucky wakes up with a snap, hands clamped over his mouth to keep from screaming. He’s soaked in sweat and he’s about to throw up. He scrambles from the bed and just barely gets to the bathroom in time before last night’s dinner purges itself.

“Bucky?”

And he woke up Chase in the process. He gags and leans against the rim of the toilet.

“Buck?” 

Now it’s Steve. Jesus Christ.

“Steve, the store on the corner, are they open now?”

“It’s a 24 hour store.”

“Go get a case of ginger ale, please.”

“I got it. Take care of him.” 

Bucky hears water running in the sink and then feels a cold washcloth on his brow and Chase’s body behind him on the floor. He sees her bruised arms, one holding the washcloth to his head, the other on his chest pulling him closer and away from the toilet. He reaches up and flushes before he gives into her and leans back. 

“I didn’t mean to wake you, baby,” he says softly.   The taste in his mouth is making his stomach roll more. 

“It’s alright, honey, it’s okay. Was it a nightmare?”

“Yeah. I’m so sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to…” 

“No, no, don’t cry, honey. Don’t, please. It’s okay. It’s been a shit few days and the stress and me being an absolute raging cunt to you in the penthouse didn’t help you any -“

“Jesus Christ, you’re not a raging cunt, Chase —“

“No, I am. I know I am. You caught the full brunt of it the other day and I am truly sorry, Bucky.”

He can hear the hurt in her voice and he knows she’s crying. He also knows she’s never going to forgive herself for threatening him the way she did. He knows she was only trying to keep him away and that was a last resort tactic. It hurt like hell and it scared him to know she can speak those words, in order, in Russian, but he understands why she did it.

He puts his hand over hers on his chest. She removes the washcloth from his brow and wipes down parts of his hair. The joys of having long hair. She’s hurt, she’s tired, yet here she is on the bathroom floor with him cleaning puke out of his hair. What the fuck is he ever going to be able to do to show this girl how much he loves her?

He feels her rest her head on his. His heart is still hammering in his chest, but the nightmare has faded to just an occasional chill in his spine. 

“Let me rinse this out, honey,” she says softly. 

“Don’t. Just...please stay here,” he begs. 

“I’m not going anywhere, sweetheart. I’m right here with you.” 

“Am I hurting you?”

“No, and it wouldn’t matter if you were.”

“Defiant and stubborn.”

“I will shave your head in your sleep,” she threatens. It’s an idle threat and he laughs a little. 

“You’d miss my hair.”

“Settle down there, Samson.”

He’s laughing a little more and he can feel and hear her giggling. 

“Hey, how you feeling, Buck? You okay?” Steve pants, appearing in the bathroom doorway with a cold bottle of ginger ale in one hand and a case of cans in the other. 

“Better. Thanks, kid,” he says taking the bottle from Steve as he hands it to him. 

“You alright, dollface?”

“Yeah.”

“Guy at the grocery thinks I’m insane,” Steve says leaning against the sink. “Nightmare?”

“Bad one,” Buck answers. He feels Chase’s hand on his brow and he closes his eyes.

“You alright now, Buck?” He can hear the concern in Steve’s voice. Steve’s the other one Bucky will never be able to show how much he appreciates and loves. Steve risked everything to save him, even going so far as to make himself a wanted man. Bucky doesn’t feel as though he deserves either of them. He’s the devil amidst two saints. 

“Bucky? Sweetheart?”

“Buck?”

Bucky can hear how worried they are again. 

“Steve, his heart is racing again. What do we do?” She’s panicked. He didn’t want her to have to go through this.

“I’m alright,” he lies. 

“Bullshit,” Steve tells him. “Talk to us. You know you’ve got to talk so we can help you.” 

Steve’s had to do this with him on more than one occasion and it’s always been a fight or ended in a yelling match. They won’t come to blows ever again. Not after Bucky nearly killed Steve when…

“Bucky, please, honey, what’s wrong?” Chase pleads with him. He can ignore Steve for a time, but not Chase and definitely not both of them. He doesn’t deserve them. They should be together. He shouldn’t be here…

He covers his face with his hands and leans away from Chase. 

“No you don’t, you jerk. Scoot that way, doll.” 

Bucky hears Steve giving instructions, feels Chase move a little and then he feels something he’d never have expected in a million lifetimes. Both Steve and Chase holding him tightly. Both of them with their arms around him, Steve’s head on his, Chase’s head on his shoulder and both telling him it’s okay in the gentlest voices. 

Bucky breaks down into tears. 


	39. Three of Hearts

Steve sits on the bathroom floor with Chase and Bucky, she and Steve holding Bucky as tight as they can while Bucky weeps. These goddamn nightmares plague Bucky and Steve has seen the aftermath they cause. Bucky shuts down. He shuts down and goes on autopilot and Steve has to fight with Buck just to get him out of that pit he’s in. Buck’s scared, he’s afraid he doesn’t deserve anything.  _ Anything _ . He’s convinced that whatever happens to him he rightly deserves. Steve has told him that’s bullshit more times than he cares to count, but Bucky just shakes his head no. Steve’s biggest concern is that Bucky is going to disappear into that pit of his and never come out again. And that scares him. It would be like losing him all over again, except Buck’s physical presence is here, but that’s all. 

“Bucky, please talk to us,” Chase begs. Steve can see she’s crying, too. She loves the dumb fuck, Steve loves him, and Buck still can’t grasp why. 

“I can’t do this. I don’t deserve you,” Bucky chokes through his tears. “I’m a goddamn monster -“

“No you are not,” Chase snaps. “You are James Buchanan Barnes. You served your country honorably, you continue to do so now. You are not the thing HYDRA wanted you to be. You are you, Bucky, and we love you.”

Steve couldn’t have worded that any better if he tried. 

“I don’t deserve you. You two should be…” he breaks off, fresh tears and sobs taking away his words. Chase looks to Steve for help. These are the hardest things to get through Buck’s thick skull, Steve has fought this battle endlessly with the man.

“You’re wrong. Jesus Christ, Buck. You’ve got two people sitting with you in the bathroom, on the floor, holding you. Two people who absolutely adore you. Two people who would do anything for you -“

“One of which has. He’s risked everything for you because he knows you’re worth it, Bucky. Steve knows you’re a good man. I know you’re a good man. No one can take that from you unless you let them, honey. We’re not going to give up on you just because you say so. Defiant and stubborn till the end, remember?” 

Bucky laughs just a bit. Steve’s heard him tell Chase she’s defiant and stubborn, which she is, thank god.

“Still want to sit on the floor and mope?” Steve asks trying to tease Bucky a little in hopes he’ll come around. 

“No. She’s hurt -“

“I’m not worried about me, I’m worried about you.”

Bucky sighs and then looks at Chase and then at Steve. Steve sees the horror still lingering in Buck’s eyes. He’s going to have to live with those nightmares and memories for the rest of his life and there’s nothing he and Chase can do, but make sure Buck knows he’s loved and needed. Chase will take the lead on that, Steve’s sure of it. Dames are more capable of emotional displays than guys, and Bucky is more likely to respond to an outburst from her than he is from Steve. And that’s okay. So long as he responds, that’s all that matters. 

He sees Bucky heave a shaky sigh and Steve pats him on the back. 

“Can we go back to bed?” Bucky asks tiredly. 


	40. We Love You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The basis for the description Steve and Bucky give is from a drawing i saw on Tumblr of a current Bucky and Steve sleeping together, Bucky holding Steve and laying on his side with his head resting on his left arm. Steve was curled up next to Bucky. I don't know who drew it, I can't find it again, but it stuck with me and I wanted to share that imagery as best I could with you guys. Hope I haven't failed you.

Bucky just asked to go back to bed and Chase is eternally grateful for that. Her body is sore and achy and the cold tile floor in the bathroom is only making it worse. 

“Yeah, come one,” Steve says. He lets go of Bucky first and gets up. Bucky gets up next. Chase pushes herself off the floor and her fractured rib roars with pain. She clutches her side and both her boys on either side of her, hands in varying locations to support her. 

“Baby?”

“It’s alright, I’m alright,” she tells them. She’s not entirely truthful right now and they can see that.

“Get her back to bed, Buck. I’ll grab a slice of pizza so she can take -“

“No,” she cuts him off. “I don’t want any more pills right now. I just want to go back to bed with my boys.”

She sees their faces light up and she smiles. 

“You sure you don’t want something to help the pain?” Bucky asks as he runs his fingers up and down her back. 

“I’m good, honey. Come on,” she says coaxing them back to the bedroom. She lets Bucky go first and she glances at Steve. Bucky’s still worked up, he’s trying to hide it, and he’s doing a good job, but the signs are still there. Steve sees this, too. She knows he’s been dealing as best he can with Bucky’s issues on his own and she can see it’s taken its toll on Steve.  She puts her hand on his back and rubs softly. 

“Get back into bed, angel,” Steve instructs, patting her ass lightly. 

“Can we let Bucky sleep in the middle?”

Bucky looks shocked by this. Steve doesn’t really seem phased. He just kind of grins tiredly. 

“Did you know, doll, that like seventy so years ago we’d crash at his place. This shitty, tiny ass apartment,” Steve begins. He sits on the bed, that tired smile still on his face. Chase looks at Bucky and he’s grinning sheepishly. He sits next to Steve and pulls Chase so she can sit between them. 

“I remember that place,” Bucky says softly. “Hot as hell in the summer, drafty in the winter.”

“No heat,” Steve adds. “In the winter it was so cold in there you could see your breath. Take a leak and you’d risk pissing ice cubes.”

Chase can’t help but laugh at the imagery. Bucky is chuckling. Steve’s grinning a little more now.

“He used to bitch his balls were going to freeze off and it was too goddamn cold to piss,” Bucky tells her. 

“It was,” Steve laughs. “I was sick all the goddamn time. Asthma, heart palpitations….I caught pneumonia one year and ended up in the hospital -“

“Jesus Christ,” Bucky groans. “I thought you were going to die, kid. First time I remember being that scared I cried…”

Chase listens intently.

“After that scare...after that, when we’d go back to his place and it’d be late or I’d be too tired to go home in the winter, he’d lay down beside me and keep skinny sick me warm. Remember that?” Steve asks Bucky. Chase is moved to the point of tears, Bucky has fresh tears in his eyes. These boys have been through everything together. The only bond that’s stronger than blood is one forged by love. 

“I remember, kid. I remember keeping my arm around you and holding you like a goddamn skinny teddy bear.”

Steve laughs. 

“How’s this going to be different then those days, Buck? Only difference is that it’s Chase and I holding you and making sure you’re warm and protected.”

Chase is crying now. She loves these boys and Steve just gave her that much more of a reason to. 

“I can’t ask you two for that,” Bucky says as he wipes his eyes. Steve is rubbing Chase’s back again. 

“You don’t have to,” she tells him. “It’s going to happen. Get in the middle, Buck. It’s your turn to be held.”


	41. Waking Up Between the Ones You Love the Most

Bucky wakes up later that morning on his back with Chase curled up against his left side with her head on his chest and arm draped over him, and Steve laying on his side on Bucky's right side, Steve’s arm draped over Bucky’s abs, holding Bucky tight against him. 

He’d had a nightmare last night and the two people he loves the most came to his rescue. And here they both are, on either side of him holding him. He runs his fingers through Chase’s hair and she purrs softly then nestles in closer to him. He smiles and turns his head to look at Steve. The bags under this kid’s eyes are insane. Bucky feels like shit, because he knows he’s the majority of the cause. He slinks his arm up between he and Steve and maneuvers his arm till it’s under the pillow Steve’s head is sleeping on. He carefully pulls his arm out from under the pillow and gets his hand to where he can scratch Steve’s head. Steve groans and stretches, but doesn’t wake up. Bucky smiles and then looks back at Chase. He’s greeted by those big brown eyes looking at him, a sleepy smile on her lips. 

“How do you feel, beautiful?”

“Sore, like I’ve been hit by a truck.” She’s being dumb and he can’t help but laugh a little. “How are you feeling? Are you okay?”

“Mostly. Those nightmares...I didn’t mean to wake you two up, baby. I am sorry.”

“Stop apologizing, Buck. We’re in this together,” Steve says groggily. 

That hits him in the heart. They are in this together. 

“He’s right. You wanted this, you’re going to deal with us loving you, you shit,” Chase tells him. Bucky and Steve both chuckle. 

“The pistol rides again,” Bucky teases.

“She’s a Glock,” Steve reminds him.

“Piss on you both,” Chase responds and pokes Bucky in the jaw. 

Steve is laughing now. 

“How are you feeling, angel?” Steve asks. Bucky sees him move his arm so he can touch Chase. He rubs her arm then leans his head against Bucky’s. This is the most open the two of them have been around each other since before the war. Bucky never thought this would happen again, not after all they’d gone through. Even before the war...this wasn’t something that was discussed. They have a term for it now - bisexual, and it’s a little more accepted these days. But even if it weren’t, Bucky’s not going to give up the two people he loves the most. 

“Bucky?” 

He’s pulled from his revelry and looks at his girl. 

“Steve wants to know if we want to go out for breakfast.”


	42. Should Have Waited A Bit Longer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT. Not in the way some of you would like, but that's coming. Most likely. Ha, puns.

Chase, Bucky, and Steve get up and get showered together, the boys helping her get cleaned up again. There was some hesitation between Steve and Bucky when they got cleaned up, both of them eyeing each other cautiously. It’s going to be an ever evolving experience for the three of them. To know that they love each other and have for years….

“You’re tensing up again,” Steve notices. She’s struggling to pull on a pair of Bucky’s boxer briefs, the pain in her side and arm feels like a white hot iron against her muscles. 

“Baby, here,” Bucky says helping her. He pulls his boxers up over her legs, kissing her stomach when he gets them up the whole way. 

“Buck, get the brush out of the drawer for me, will you?” Steve asks.

“Plan on brushing out my hair or Bucky’s?” Chase asks, teasing him a bit. Steve lifts her chin and kisses her lips.

“Yours, smartass, it’s prettier.”

“Don’t hate,” Bucky says and grins. “She called me Samson.”

“I threatened to shave your head, you shit.”

“Always more to the story,” Steve laughs. He looks at the brush, looks at Chase’s hair and hands the brush to Bucky. 

“Comb?”

“Comb.”

Steve gets the comb and gently runs it through Chase’s hair. The shower was bliss, this is ten times better. She closes her eyes as he continues to comb out her hair. 

She feels Bucky’s hands on her arms and sides and opens her eyes. He’s examining the litany of bruises on her. 

“Don’t hurt her, Buck.”

“He’s not. As big as you two are you’re both surprisingly gentle,” she tells him.  

“Yeah, you goddamned lummox,” Bucky taunts. 

“I will beat your ass.”

“Just threaten to shave his head,” Chase tells Steve. 

“Ha. I’ll shave that ridiculous mane off your head.”

“You’d both be sorely regretful,” Bucky says and grins. He kisses Chase’s hands, grabs the brush and makes a display of brushing his own hair. Chase and Steve just watch in mild amusement. He’s better today, being playful like this. She’s no fool, though. She knows he’s still hurting from last night. She reaches out and runs her fingers along his jaw. Both of her boys are bearded, like lumberjacks. 

“Aw hell, she’s grinning. We’re in trouble,” Bucky moans. She flicks his bare shoulder. 

“She’s going to beat your ass and shave your head if you don’t leave her be,” Steve warns. He’s stopped combing her hair and has since moved on to just running his fingers under her hair and bouncing her hair in his hands. She hears an amused grunt each time, she’s guessing because he’s watching those loose spirals form with each bounce. 

“No she won’t. She likes playing with my hair as much as we like playing with hers,” Bucky says running his thumb over her lips. She kisses his thumb and he smiles. 

Steve kisses her cheek and then her neck. Bucky’s hands are on her hips and he kisses her jaw and the other side of her neck. She moans softly. She’d love nothing more than to let them have their way with her...fractured rib or no….

She feels Bucky’s hands cup her breasts and knead them, his mouth still on her neck. Steve’s hands are on her hips, his lips kissing her jaw, neck, shoulder, his hands sliding the boxers a little lower, his fingers sliding across her pelvis. She reaches in front and behind her with each hand and finds the boys are both hard. Her touch makes both of them moan, their hands and kisses moving more feverishly. Steve slides the boxers down past her knees and beyond her calves. He kisses the back of her legs, coercing her back out of them. His hands slide back up the inside of her legs to her center. He slides his fingers along her slick opening, making her legs give a little. 

“Goddammit,” he moans. “She’s so wet.”

Bucky slides his hands down from her breasts to where Steve’s are and she can feel the two of them teasing her, listening to her moans. 

Bucky pulls his towel free and plants his lips to her, his tongue seeking hers out. Steve is working his way up her back, planting kisses along her spine as he goes. 

“How do you want to do this, baby?” Bucky asks when he relinquishes control of her mouth. 

“Very carefully.” She’s going to go insane if they don’t do something.

“Bedroom?” Steve asks. He’s asking Bucky. 

“Bedroom,” Bucky says picking her up. “If we hurt you, you’ll say something, right?”

“I will,” she promises. He carries her to the bedroom followed by Steve. 

Bucky puts her on the bed gently, hovering over her and kissing her while he cups her breast and squeezes. She responds by arching her back, her hips and pelvis making contact with his making him groan. 

“Bucky,” she moans. She sees Steve come along side Bucky now, both of them are hard and at attention. Steve runs his hand up the inside of her thigh and stops just short of where she needs him to be. They’re teasing her. She’s going to murder them in their sleep.

“Front and behind?” Steve asks.

“Think you can handle us both, baby?” Bucky asks. He licks his finger then runs circles on her clit moving torturously slow. She glares at him and he grins.

“If we hurt you, say something and we’ll stop. Alright?” Steve orders. Chase nods her head. The idea of having them both simultaneously has her worked into a frenzy right now.

“Just do  _ something _ ,” she pleads. The boys grin. Bucky lays on the bed on his back and Chase is on top of him, sliding herself up and down on his cock, soaking him with her wetness. Bucky holds her hips, pushing her down onto him. 

“Give Steve a turn, baby,” he pants. Chase scoots back a little on Bucky and lays across him. Steve lifts her hips up and runs his cock against her, till he slips inside. Chase arches and thrusts back against him making Steve moan loudly. He thrusts a few more times before he pulls out, making her whine with her need. 

“Easy, baby,” Bucky purrs to her. “Remember, if you hurt…”

“I know. I will,” she promises. The teasing has to stop. Bucky adjusts her so he can guide himself into her wetness. She moans again, the feel of him inside her different from Steve, but so fucking good either way. She feels Steve’s hands on her ass, parting her cheeks and then she feels him enter her slowly. She’s sunk her nails into Bucky’s chest and he’s moaning because she’s clenching on him. Steve works himself into a rhythm and then Bucky follows, and Chase is about to go mad. Her side and arm are on fire, but she can’t stop. The two of them in her at once is amazing. The feel of them both moving inside her, their moaning, their hands planted on her, holding her roughly, it’s not long before she’s coming, moaning so loud it’s almost a scream. She feels Steve’s fingers sink into the flesh above her hips and he moans with one last hard thrust and then Bucky is planting her firmly on his cock, holding her as he comes. 

Now the pain comes in a brutal backlash. 

“Fuck,” she hisses, her teeth clenched as she reaches for her side.

“Shit! Baby, it’s okay. Steve -“

“I’m out. Goddammit, we should have waited,” he growls. Chase feels him pick her up off of Bucky and carry her back to the bathroom. The pain is intensifying. She needs to learn to ignore these urges or they’re going to end up getting her killed. 

“Easy, angel, easy. Buck!”

“Right here, Steve. Can you stand up, baby? Is it just your side?”

“It’s just my side...oh my god…it hurts to breathe…”

“Get the shower started. We’ll get you cleaned up and you’ll take one of those goddamn pills. No arguing,” Steve orders. She doesn’t fight him on this. He puts her down gently, both he and Bucky petting and stroking her, kissing her softly. They’re both scared. It’s not their fault.

“I did this, not you,” she tells them as they step inside the shower. 

“We should have waited,” Bucky says angrily. “Goddammit, baby, I am so sorry.”

“Stop…” She pinches her eyes shut, the next wave of pain hitting her like a tsunami. It literally hurts to breathe and she feels likes she’s gasping for air.

“Slow down. Slow down, Chase. Slow and easy,” Steve murmurs.

“Breathe with me, baby,” Bucky whispers, pressing his chest to her back so she can feel him breathing slow and steady. They want her to calm down, she’s panicked and she didn’t realize it, but they sure as hell did. She does her best to match Bucky’s breathing, the pain in her side brings tears to her eyes. The boys make haste in cleaning her up and cleaning themselves up. They’re all three out of the shower in record time, Bucky and Steve drying her off and getting her into clothes as quickly and gently as possible. 

She’s still clutching her side, the pain steadily increasing. 

“I’m going to run to the store. I’ll grab milk, eggs, bread...give her the pill. I’ll be back shortly,” Bucky tells Steve. 

“Run. I don’t want her taking that daffy goddamn pill on an empty stomach.”

“I know. I know.”

“I will be alright -”

“I know, baby, but right now you aren’t. Steve and I have this. I’ll be back very soon. I promise,” he says kissing her softly on the lips. He’s dressed and out the door a few moments later. Steve helps her to the bedroom and wraps her in a blanket before he gets his clothes from the living room and gets dressed. 

“You should just bring your shit back here along with Bucky’s,” she tells him. Steve looks at the bedroom door, then at Chase. He caresses her cheek and disappears from the room. He comes back a moment later with his arms full of he and Bucky’s clothes, the shield and weapons holsters. And he’s got the pill bottle. 

He drops the clothes on the edge of the bed.

“Do you want the Pepsi, water?”

“Pepsi,” she whimpers. A fresh wave of pain has started. Steve caresses her face and comes back again with a glass of Pepsi. He pops the pill bottle open and hands her one of the muscle relaxers. She takes it and downs the glass of Pepsi. 

They hear the apartment door open and close quickly.

“Buck?”

“Back,” Bucky yells. Much like Bucky, Steve goes into protective mode with her. 

“Come on, angel,” Steve says helping her off the bed. 

Bucky appears in the doorway, breathing hard. 

“You literally ran, didn’t you?” she asks. He nods his head.

“I needed to get back as fast as possible. Did you take that pill?”

“She did. What are you thinking? Eggs?”

“Yeah, fast and easy. I can get them started -”

“I’ll do it, you just ran a goddamn mile. Go sit. Chase, calm him down a little,” Steve says. He’s using diversionary tactics. Bucky is worried about Chase and Chase is in pain. If she fawns over Bucky she’s less likely to focus on her pain levels and Bucky will just melt in her hands. Steve’s clever. 

“Come sit with me, handsome. Please.”

Bucky kisses her head and then sheds his jacket and sits with her on the couch. He hands her the remote while Steve can be heard banging shit around in the kitchen. Bucky puts his arm around her shoulders and rubs her neck. 

“We should have waited.”

“Bucky, stop. I wanted it more than you two did.”

Bucky skews an eyebrow at her then grins. 

“I don’t know about all that.”

“You doubt me?”

“Not in the least. I just don’t want you to hurt, baby. That’s all. I just want to see my pretty girl smile. And the punk in the kitchen.”

“I want the same for you. So does Steve. I hurt, I’m not going to lie, but that’s my own goddamn fault -”

“No, it is not,” he argues.

“Did you throw me off the balcony?”

“No, but -”

“Did Steve?”

“No.”

“Then it’s my fault. Dumb shit. I regret it on such an epic fucking scale right now and I still don’t know how I managed to jump.”

“You really are afraid of heights?”

“Yeah. Want to hear something even more stupid?” she asks and then laughs a little. He caresses her cheek bone and smiles lovingly.

“Yes, I do.”

“I won’t ride the ferris wheel, but I’ll get on a roller coaster.”

Bucky laughs heartily. Steve emerges from the kitchen with a puzzled look on his face.

“What did you do to him?” he teases.

“Told him a truth. He’s overly amused because he’s a shit.”

“He is, but he’s ours,” Steve says and then laughs. “Breakfast is almost ready.”


	43. Tony Checks In

Tony’s been staring at his phone for almost an hour debating on calling Chase. Pepper’s already told him to call her twice and he’s merely grunted in response. He doesn’t want to disturb her if she’s resting, but he also wants to know she’s alright and Frick and Frack haven’t done anything to hurt her. Again. 

“Tony.”

He looks up at Pepper and smiles. 

“Call her.”

Tony picks up the phone and calls Chase. 

“Tony.”

“Goddammit, Rogers, put her on the phone and stop answering her phone. It’s hers. Not yours. I didn’t buy it for you.”

He hears Chase laughing in the background as Rogers bitches about Tony chiding him. 

“Hi, Starky.”

“Why is that damn buffoon answering your phone?”

“Good morning to you, too, sunshine,” Chase says and then laughs a little. He smiles. She’s in a relatively good mood. Is she doped up?

“How many pills have you taken?”

“How many pills have I taken?” she asks. Tony hears Barnes say just one today.

“Just one. They made me take it. I hurt myself.”

“Doing what? You know what, never mind,” Tony says hastily. He can hear her giggling again. She’s high as a goddamn kite. Bruce should have put her on something less loopy inducing.

“It’s alright, Starky. Steve made breakfast. I ate after I took that stupid pill and I’m just a little tired, that’s all.”

This he believes. 

“Are they both there with you?”

“Yes. They’re babying me. I hate it.”

He hears Barnes tell her to hush and that she’s enjoying having them as her slaves. This actually amuses Tony. 

“Do you need anything, kiddo?”

“Clothes.”

“I think you’re a bit too out of your skull to go outside right now. Just a hunch.”

“Pfft. I can get one of the beefcakes to give me a piggyback ride around Manhattan.”

“Go take a nap,” he says laughing at her. “Put Rogers on the phone.”

He hears her say something muffled and then he hears what he thinks is a sexist remark from Rogers about backing something. Tony shudders. Disgusting shit. 

“Tony.” 

“How many pills has she had total?”

“Two. One last night after we had dinner and one this morning. Buck literally ran to the market to grab eggs and stuff so she could have breakfast.”

“Alright. She’s too whacked out to go outside right now.”

“I know, Tony. Her eyes are glazed over.”

“They are not, you shithead!”

Tony is trying so hard not to laugh at Chase’s belligerence. 

“Yeah, they are, angel. Tony’s right -”

“Oh for fuck’s sake!”

Tony can hear Barnes laughing in the background now. Pepper is looking at him and smirking, because Tony is near tears from trying to not guffaw in Rogers’ ear.

“Stop. One of us will get you clothes -”

“Pepper and I can go. I’d rather make sure she has something other than thongs and crotchless underwear in her closet.”

“Tony!” Pepper yells. Tony shrugs. Now he can hear Chase laughing hysterically.

“I told you. No crotchless edible thongs, boys,” Chase says. 

Tony hears Rogers sigh in exasperation. He’s not sure if it’s over the edible thongs or Chase’s smartassery. 

“I was going to go shopping for her. Buck was going to stay with her,” Steve says. Tony can hear him trying not to laugh at her, too. 

“I think Pepper would be better suited to pick stuff out for her, Rogers. Do you really know what she likes to wear?”

There’s silence. Then he hears Chase snicker and Barnes is laughing. God only knows what’s going on in there. 

“Fine. I’ll get her stuff for the apartment.”

“Just make sure someone stays with her,” Tony orders.

“I will, Tony. Which brings up something else. Only one of us will be going on missions at a time till she’s able to be on her own.”

“Understood. I’ll let you and Barnes work that out amongst yourselves. I’ll call her when we get back. Give her the phone.”

“Starky.”

“Send Pepper a text of everything you need as far as clothes go. We’ll get it for you today. Rogers said he’ll go out and get what you need for the apartment. Just take it easy, kiddo. We got this. Alright?”

“Alright,” she agrees reluctantly. “Tell Pepper I said thank you. And, Starky,”

“Yeah, kiddo.”

“Thank you, too.”

Tony hangs up and smiles a little.

“Satisfied that she’s alright?” Pepper asks over her cup of tea.

“She’s loopy. Bruce should have given her something less potent.”

“She’s got a fractured rib and she’s bruised all over, Tony. He did what he thought was best and she’s got Steve and Bucky there to keep watch over her.”

“Yeah, yeah. Her taste in men is fucking atrocious.” 


	44. Trying To Make Plans

Steve hangs up the phone and rolls his eyes. Tony isn’t going to just let them take care of Chase on their own, he’s going to have a say in everything.

“What’s wrong, sweetpea?” Chase asks him. She holds out her hand and he takes it and kisses her wrist.

“Tony’s an overbearing ass,” he mumbles. He sees Buck smirking and nodding his head in agreement.

“He means well,” she says as she uses her phone to make a list of the clothing she wants.

“Please tell me you’re not going to put boy shorts, boxers, boxer briefs or anything else stupid like that on this list,” Bucky says looking over her shoulder.

“Maybe.”

“Ugh,” Steve groans. She smiles and giggles a little, which makes him smile in return. Tony’s right, she’s looped out of her skull and fighting sleep because of the muscle relaxer, but at least she doesn’t seem to be in pain like she was earlier.

“I’ll make sure to get something more presentable for you two at a later time. You know, when I’m not under 24 hour surveillance.”

“Smartass,” Bucky gripes.

“You still have to take at least one of us with you,” Steve reminds her. She looks up from her phone.

“Oh, I plan on taking you both. I want to see which one of you breaks first.”

She says this entirely too calmly. Steve inhales deeply and sighs. Bucky’s leaned back in the couch with his head resting on the back.

“Most countries have laws about torture. You know that, right?” Bucky asks her. Steve grins. Chase is smirking.

“Torture would be bringing those items home and strutting around in them and forbidding you to touch me or touch yourself.”

“Jesus Christ…” Steve groans. “Why do you egg her on like this?”

“I do not know,” Bucky admits. He’s reached his arm around Chase and is scratching at Steve’s shoulder. Buck craves affection and touch, but so does he. Knowing that he has both Chase and Buck who love physical contact is a godsend. Chase has her hand on his thigh and is smiling at him.

“Penny for your thoughts, gorgeous.”

He smiles and caresses her face. She closes her eyes and sighs.

“Just thinking how lucky I am right now.”

“Oh?” Bucky asks.

“Beautiful girl, great guy and they’re both mine.”

He sees Buck grin bashfully. Chase leans against Steve’s arm.

“Works both ways,” Buck says, as he runs his fingers through the back of Steve’s hair.

“Three ways, if you’re being correct about it,” Chase adds. “Wait till later to go to the store, Steve. Just cuddle with us for a while.”

He feels Buck watching him for a response. They need stuff for in here, if he goes now it’ll be done and over with…

“Stevie.”

“If I go now, I can get it knocked out, we can have the rest of the day -”

“Stop,” Chase says running her hand up and down his leg. “I don’t want to be cooped up here all day. I also know you two don’t have all your stuff here either. And I hate this apartment….” she trails off looking around the room.

“Why?” Steve asks. Buck’s looking around trying to see what she sees.

“It’s just…”

“Wrong. She thinks it’s wrong,” Buck says finishing her thought. She nods.

Steve is thoughtful for a moment.

“It’s the bathroom.”

“Maybe,” she says.

“Yours is blue, isn’t it, Buck?”

“It is. Same as the one she remembers - we’re moving. Let Stark know we’ll be moving to my place, the sectional she remembers is there, too.”

Steve sees Chase’s eyes get huge.

“Really?”

“Things aren’t where they were, but that doesn’t mean it’s not right, Chase. It doesn’t mean you don’t belong here,” Buck tells her. Steve’s worried. This was apparently a conversation just the two of them had at some point.

“Care to clue me in?” Steve asks.

“So much shit is out of place here and I...I told Bucky that this isn’t right and that I don’t belong here -”

“Chase, that’s bullshit,” Steve cuts in quickly. “You do belong here. You belong here with us. The furniture, the bathroom...those are insignificant compared to what matters.”

“I told you, baby, if you didn’t belong here then you wouldn’t have been brought back. Even if it wasn’t by your preferred method of clamshell a la Venus De Milo.”

“Want to help me shave his head tonight?” Chase asks spitefully.

“Absolutely,” Steve answers and laughs as Buck rolls his eyes at them.


	45. Begin Cleanup

“I’m serious, though,” Bucky says changing the topic about shaving his head.  “What she’s used to is at my place. I just need to clean it up. A lot.”

“It’s an option, angel. You don’t seem to keen on this apartment,” Steve tells her.

“I’m not. It feels...smaller,” she says thoughtfully. Bucky looks around again. He can see that. There is definitely a smaller feel to this apartment, but he can’t place why that would be since all of them are supposed to be the same. Maybe it’s the overstuffed living room furniture. 

“It’s your call. Buck seems okay with moving us in to his place,” Steve says as he toys with her hair. 

“I am. Stay here with her. I’ll go get started,” Bucky says getting up.

“We can help,” Chase says grabbing his hand and holding him so he can’t walk away. She locks her fingers with his and gives his hand a little squeeze.

“Baby, I’ve got this. Just relax -”

“Buck.”

“Don’t you start,” Bucky warns Steve. 

“You know damn well even if she just falls asleep in the bedroom, you and I can get your place cleaned up a lot faster than just you alone.”

“I can help,” Chase says defiantly. 

“See what you did?” he asks Steve. Steve smiles. He knew what he was doing. 

“Honey, come on. Is it that bad or is there something in there you don’t want us to see?”

This makes Bucky laugh.

“It’s just a mess, baby. And if you and punk here are so hell bent on helping, then let’s go. We’ll get it cleaned up and you can tell me if you see a size difference.”

“Since size is clearly important,” Steve adds, taunting her a little. 

“Good thing neither of you have that problem then, isn’t it?” she asks without missing a beat. Bucky puckers his lips and then grins. Steve is smiling and shaking his head. 

“Goddamn spitfire,” Bucky laughs. He pulls her gently from the couch while Steve grabs their shoes and then they head to his place, Chase in between the two of them, holding their hands. 

“Can we get rid of the goddamn beat to hell recliner?” Steve questions as soon as Bucky opens the door.

“I thought you liked that busted thing?” Bucky says surprised by this.

“It’s comfy, I’ll give you that, but it looks like hell.”

“It looks like it’s older than the two of you,” Chase mutters looking at it. Bucky shrugs. 

“Alright, the recliner goes,” Bucky says gathering up dismantled tablets and phones and sweeping them into a garbage bag. 

“Buck, promise me you’ll take those to one of those places that disposes of that shit the right way,” Chase says softly. She’d been watching him hurriedly bag his tech. That had been his intentions from the start.

“I planned on it, baby,” he tells her. She nods and looks around. He can see she’s eyeing things up, trying to see if there is a difference. 

“What’s wrong, angel?” Steve asks her. He puts his arms around her and rocks her gently from side to side. Bucky drops the bag and puts his arms around Steve. 

“Nothing,” she says softly. Bucky lets go of Steve to reach past him to Chase and place his hand hip and squeezes gently. He kisses Steve’s neck and lets them go. 

“While holding the two of you is the end goal here, I know we want to get this done. Baby, there’s bags under the sink. This shit is all over the place. Head back to the bedroom if you want and start there. Steve, bathroom, pitch anything that looks like it can go.”

“So...everything, right?” Steve jokes. Bucky smiles and flips him off. 

“Maybe later?” Steve asks innocently. 

They can hear Chase laughing as she walks back the hall. 

Bucky looks at Steve and smirks. 

“That’s our girl.”

“She is,” Steve says softly. Bucky reaches for Steve’s face and runs his fingers over the full beard that covers most of his jaw. He’s adored Steve for as long as he can remember. 

Steve leans into his touch, then grabs Bucky by the neck and pulls him into an embrace. 

“I love you, you stupid asshole. She loves you. Whatever you’re going through don’t you fucking forget that,” Steve whispers harshly into his ear. Bucky holds onto Steve, scared if he lets go Steve will vanish, Chase will vanish….

“I love you, too, Stevie. Always have.”

Steve lets him go and looks into Bucky’s eyes. He’s just as scared as Bucky feels right now - all this new to them, all three of them. 

Bucky places his hand on Steve’s cheek and then presses his lips to his. Steve seems momentarily surprised, but then pulls Bucky closer to him and Bucky feels Steve’s tongue seeking out his own. 

The kiss breaks, both men still holding each other. 

“That was a long time coming,” Bucky says and then smiles warmly. 

“I know, Buck, and I think we know who to thank for bringing it about finally.”

The boys look at each other and then toward the bedroom.

“Shit, she’s quiet,” Steve says. They break their embrace and rush to the bedroom. 

Chase has the bed stripped, the linens on the floor in a corner. A bag full of dismantled tech in one corner, the walkin closet standing open.

Steve and Bucky exchange glances.

“Chase? Baby?” Bucky calls. 

“I had to pee.”

Both Steve and Bucky jump and turn around. 

“Jesus Christ,” Steve mutters.

“I’m sorry.”

“We were just worried, angel. You were quiet,” Steve tells her as he toys with a loose spiral. 

“The 80s bachelor’s wet dream,” she mutters running her fingers along the dresser.  Bucky grins. Steve looks confused again.

“I can see if that other set is still available, baby.”


	46. Think Before You Speak - Or Get Pissed Off

It takes a few hours to get all of Bucky’s collection gathered up. Steve has cleaned the bathroom and pitched what he labeled as “countless bunches of hair shit” that Bucky had collected for his mane. Chase had thrown the sheets in the washer, but she’s pretty sure she should have burned them. Based on the the piles of laundry he had in the bathroom she’s guessing he can’t stand doing laundry and just buys stuff as he runs out. She’s willing to bet Steve is the same way. Where there’s one, there’s two.

Bucky was on the phone currently with their antique shop trying to negotiate a time for them to deliver the bedroom set. He and Steve have been bickering as to whether or not the queen bed frame would still work for the three of them. Bucky says it will, his reasoning being it will keep them confined and cuddled. Steve says it won’t, because someone’s going to get elbowed in the ribs or the throat and end up beating the shit out of the person doing the elbowing. Chase had to side with Steve on this one. As nice as it is to curl up with them, trying to roll over and get comfortable is damn near impossible. Bucky wasn’t happy about it, and still isn’t, even though both Steve and Chase explained their reasonings. 

“They can deliver it Thursday,” he says hanging up the phone. “Chase.”

He’d caught her rubbing her side. The muscle relaxer is starting to fade enough that she can feel the burning ache in her side again, but it isn’t bad enough for another pill, much less time for one.

“I’m alright.”

“Stop. You’re done. Just sit and relax, angel,” Steve orders her. She gives him a menacing look and he shakes his head no at her. 

“You can glare at me all you like, Chase. He does it, too, and I’m not bothered by it.”

“Goddammit, Bucky, you’ve desensitized him to the stink eye,” she growls. Bucky snorts as he continues to pick through his stuff.

“Let her go, Steve. She’ll either stop when she’s hurting enough or she’ll end up in medical again.”

“That was...mean,” Chase says. She is legitimately offended by Bucky’s seemingly crass statement. 

“Buck.”

Bucky looks up at Steve then over at Chase. He drops the bag and gets up.

“I didn’t mean it to sound like that, baby -”

“It’s fine,” she says. She walks away from them both and gets the sheets from the washer to put them in the dryer. She can hear Steve and Bucky arguing in the living room. Maybe she’s being overly sensitive because of the goofy pills. Maybe it’s because even though she’s forgiven them that memory of them being so callous towards her is still there fighting to be acknowledged. 

“Chase?”

It’s Steve who comes down the hall first. She’s just started the dryer when he calls her name.

“Steve.”

“You’re mad.”

She scratches at her cheek, biting her tongue to keep from lashing out at Steve. 

“I’m going to tell you the same thing I told him - you have to talk to me. To us. You want this to work? You have to tell us when we piss you off, what pissed you off, instead of walking away and shutting down.”

“What do you want me to do here, Steve?”

“Tell me why that upset you so much, angel,” Steve says softly. He presses his hand against her cheek and Chase sighs. The level headed one strikes again.

“It didn’t upset you?”

“I heard him. That’s why I called him on it. He didn’t even realize what he’d said, Chase. That’s...you know that’s because of what’s happened. He didn’t say it to be mean, Chase. You know that, angel,” Steve says gently. 

“Maybe it’s the pill,” she says in hopes he’ll accept that answer. 

“It wasn’t, though. Was it, baby?”

Bucky is at the end of the hall rubbing his left arm nervously. She looks down and away from both of them. 

“Angel?” Steve says as he caresses her face. 

“I didn’t mean for it to come out like that, baby. Please believe me,” Bucky says taking a step closer. “I know why that made you mad. So does Steve.”

“Forgiven, not forgotten,” Steve says and sighs. Bucky steps a little closer and Steve beckons him with his free arm. Bucky closes the gap, letting Steve pull him closer to he and Chase. 

“You’ve got a right to be mad still, baby. I didn’t think about what I said and I didn’t mean to…”

She stops him talking by grabbing his face and kissing him, parting his lips with her tongue. He cups her ass and pulls her closer, pressing himself tight against her.

“Forgive me, baby?” he asks when he pulls his lips from hers. 

“You know I do, Bucky,” she says leaning her head on his chin. “You two look like lumberjacks.”

Steve chokes on his laughter and Bucky looks perplexed as he rubs his chin.

“No?” he asks.

“You’re fine. Even with your lumberjack beards,” she teases, scratching their chins. 

“Are we good, angel?” Steve asks, pulling her and Bucky closer to him. He nuzzles her ear.

“One condition,” she says and then kisses his chin.

“Name it,” Bucky whispers between kisses to her neck.

“Stop buying clothes instead of doing the goddamn laundry.”

Steve and Bucky both stop what they’re doing and look at each other knowing they’ve been caught. 

“I guess we can do that,” Bucky groans. Steve shoots him a look.

“As opposed to the piles and piles of dirty laundry crawling around the bathroom?” Steve quips.

“Yeah, because your laundry is any better shape,” Bucky fires back. 

“Boys, I’ll handle the laundry, just stop buying shit constantly.”

“You’d do that?” Steve asks more than a little surprised. 

“Somebody has to take care of you two,” she says and smiles. She can see both of them are touched by this. 

“This is why we love you, baby,” Bucky whispers. “This is why you belong here.”

“He’s right,” Steve purrs from her neckline. “How’s your side feeling, angel?”

“Like I’m about due for another goddamn pill.”

Both Bucky and Steve stop nuzzling and kissing her, their intentions getting sidelined. 

“It’s not time yet, angel. Shit. How bad is it? Let me see your side,” Steve states, already lifting her shirt gently to look. 

“Goddammit,” Bucky groans when he sees her ribs. “Bruce said this is a fracture?”

“I will be alright, I promise. Bucky, in all his infinite wisdom, was right. I’ll learn or I won’t. I don’t heal like you two.

“No more manual labor, baby. I want you to either stay here with Steve and I while we finish clean up, or one of us will take you back to your place and you can relax there.”

“I can still do small things, guys. I’m not a goddamn invalid. I told you I don’t want to be treated like a fucking child,” she says showing her frustration now.

“Chase, I don’t want you to hurt yourself, that’s all. Neither of us do. We aren’t trying to treat you like a child, we’re trying to keep you safe and protected,” Steve says. 

Chase sighs. Steve’s right.

“Don’t you want to be able to fool around without paying for it afterward?” Bucky asks with that mischievous grin. 

“Buck…” Steve mutters.

“He’s right,” Chase says and smiles. “Having you both at once was fun. I can’t help but wonder what else we can do.”

“Just when I think she can’t do anything else to surprise me,” Steve laughs. 

“That’s why she’s ours, Stevie, and we’re hers.”


	47. Pepper Gives Tony A Test

“Jesus, Pepper, what the hell are we buying her?” Tony gripes as Pepper tells Happy to stop at the next store.

“Tony, she has nothing. Literally no clothes.”

“And now we’re at...oh good, Victoria’s Secret,” Tony says puckering his lips and nodding his head. “Are you texting Frick and Frack to see what sort of depraved get up they want to see her in?”

Pepper looks up from her phone and glares at Tony. 

“Really? I can’t buy this girl bras and panties so she’s not bouncing around New York inappropriately? Or would you prefer her to just run around naked all day in the apartment with Steve and Bucky chasing her around -”

“Stop! Stop! Stop! Fine, lets go. You better get something for us, too,” he grumbles. 

Pepper laughs and they step out of the car. They step inside the store and are swarmed by sales girls. All under the legal drinking age if he had to guess. One of the perky princesses steals Pepper and escorts her away from him, leaving Tony to look at a table display of lace thongs. 

He’s convinced this is what Hell is like, shopping for unmentionables for your little sister. Jesus Christ in a fucking handbasket. 

“Is there something I can show you, Mr. Stark?” one of the underage girls says in the most underage seductive tone she can muster. “I’m sure there’s something here you’d like to see. Maybe modeled?”

“Whoa. Easy, girlie. The nice lady I came in with? That’s my wife. She’s shopping for my sister. Not really interested in jailbait, but thanks,” Tony says and walks away in search of Pepper. This place is a fucking nightmare.

He finds Pepper with the other girl looking at bras.

“Tony?” Pepper asks, taking his hand. “Are you okay?”

“Get her something and let’s go. These girls are psychotic.”

“Tony,” Pepper says softly, “they’re supposed to flirt with you to get the sale.”

“Flirt or stalk?” Tony whispers to her. He sees her smile. She was testing him.

“Go wait in the car with Happy,” she whispers in his ear. “I’ll be out soon and I’ll have something for us for later.”

Tony kisses her cheek and all but runs out of the store. Once outside he takes a deep breath of New York air, and then gets in the car.

“Everything okay, Mr. Stark?” Happy asks.

“Don’t ever go into those stores unless you’re armed with a goddamn fire hose, Happy.”


	48. Steve Is Tired And Just Wants To Get Done

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter, guys. Just FYI

Chase sits on the sectional and looks around the living room. Now it looks more like it used to. Steve carried the recliner out, Bucky’s tech is now collected and sorted. The furniture has been dusted and wiped down, dishes done and the bed remade with the now thrice washed sheets. Chase pulled them out of the dryer, looked at them, looked at the washer and threw them back in. Steve laughed at her and told her she was going to make them disintegrate. She said that would be Bucky’s fault for not having a good woman or at least a goddamn cleaning person. Bucky retaliated with he now has a good woman and a good man and he doesn’t need a cleaning person, but maybe he should get one. He only said that because Steve and Chase were both looking at him bemusedly with their heads tilted to the side. 

“I don’t like this tag team shit,” Bucky grumbles. 

“Bucky,” Chase says taking his hand, “stop. We aren’t ganging up on you.”

He smiles and puts his arms around her. She flinches a little when he brushes against her right side.

“Chase,” he says worriedly.

“It’s about time for another pill,” Steve says rubbing her back softly. 

“Can we try something else?” she asks. “Tony’s going to be calling -”

“We never told him about moving into Buck’s place,” Steve says and groans.

Chase reaches for her phone and pays for bending that way instantly. 

“Fuck off,” she growls.

“Baby, take the pill for now. The sheets are washed, I’ll get the comforter from your place and we’ll either eat the pizza or we’ll order in again,” Bucky says. 

“Ibuprofen is an anti inflammatory. Don’t either of you have any?”

“I don’t,” Steve says after a moment. He looks over at Bucky who shakes his head no.

“Guys...I’m not taking that fucking pill until bed. I don’t want to sleep all goddamn day or walk into the walls or just sit there and be fucking daffier than usual.”

“Steve.” Bucky looks at him and Chase can see he’s hoping Steve has an answer for this where he does not. 

“I know you wanted to get out for a while, angel, but, with your side hurting…” 

“I know. I know,” she grouses. Then she smiles. “You two wanted to know when you would get to take care of me...looks like you got your wish.”

“Past memories?” Bucky asks. Chase cradles her side and nods. 

“Don’t take it so hard, angel,” Steve tells her as he runs his fingers along her jaw.  “You’ll get your chance to fawn over us. I know you will.”

“You’ve already started, baby. Look what you and Stevie did last night,” Bucky reminds her.

“That was different.”

“How?” Steve asks. “He needed us. You sat and held him while I got ginger ale and then we held him together. You put your own comfort aside to make sure he was alright.”

Chase looks at Bucky who’s smiling lovingly at her. 

“He’s right, you know.”

“Steve, you can’t keep running to the store every goddamn twelve hours,” she says still being argumentative. 

“You’re right, I can’t and neither can Buck. So, give me a list of things we all need for in here. That means we all sit down and get this list put together. Call Tony first, get that out of the way so if he decides to flip shit he can get it out of his system before he gets here,” Steve instructs. 

“Good idea,” Chase says calling Tony. 

“I’m going to go get her quilt and the ginger ale from her place and our stuff. Anything else of hers I should grab?” Bucky asks while Chase waits for Tony to answer.

“Anything that’s hers. If you miss anything and she needs it later we’ll go get it. Don’t take too long.”

Chase sees Bucky caress Steve’s face and then kiss him quickly before giving her a kiss on the cheek just as Tony answers.

“Kiddo, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, Starky, just…”

“What did they do?” he asks assuming immediately that Steve and Bucky have done something wrong.

“They’ve done everything they can to take care of me. I just...we’re moving into Bucky’s apartment.”

“What? Why? What’s wrong with yours?” he demands.

“Nothing really...it’s just...Bucky’s apartment is exactly like the one I had...this sounds fucking ridiculous Tony.”

“No, I get it. Furniture and bathroom are different in yours this time, but his has the setup you had before, right? It’s got a familiarity to it.”

“You’re way more understanding than people give you credit for, Tony,” she tells him. 

“Don’t say that too loud, you’ll ruin this horrible reputation I’ve built.”

“You’re an ass,” she says with a laugh. “Your secret is safe with me.”

“You sure about this, kiddo? Moving in with them right off the bat?”

“They’ve been taking care of me, non-stop. It’s fucking annoying as hell, but honestly, they’ve been wonderful. Anything I need or want is taken care of. They’re putting a list together of things we’d need for in here. And I’m not allowed to be without at least one of them at all times.”

“That’s...I feel like I’ve been trapped in a cheap porn all day,” Tony gripes. 

“I don’t want to know, Starky. I’ll be in Bucky’s apartment with one of them.”

“Got it. Remind them if they hurt you -”

“They know, Tony. I promise you, they know.”

“See you soon, kiddo,” Tony says and then hangs up.

“Did he threaten murder again if we hurt you?” Steve asks nonchalantly.

“Indeed he did,” she answers as she sits next to Steve on the sectional. She runs her nails up and down his back and he leans forward in an effort to get her to scratch more. She obliges him and when he’s had enough he sighs and leans back. 

“Better?”

“Much."

She studies Steve for a bit. He’s got dark circles under his eyes and he looks beat.

“Steve, look at me,” she says turning his face more towards her. “Are you okay?”

“It’s been rough, Chase. Before you came back Buck had an episode. He saw something that triggered a memory and I just pulled him out of that damnable pit he buries himself in when you showed up. It gets harder and harder to get him out. One of these days...he may not come out,” Steve says, his voice dropping. 

“Steve, it’s going to be okay. You’re not alone in this anymore,” she says  softly. “Come here, sweetpea,” she whispers, coaxing him to lay on the couch with his head in her lap. 

“I don’t want to hurt you -”

“You won’t. You’re alright. Come on.”

Steve gives in and stretches out on the sectional with his head in Chase’s lap. She runs her fingers through her hair with one hand and holds his hand with the other.  She sees his eyes close, and he entwines his fingers with hers. Steve wants what Bucky does, to be loved, to be given that physical contact and affection. He’s so goddamn persistent about putting everyone else’s needs before his own that he neglects his own needs, hiding his loneliness behind that mask  and shield. 

“Did you do this for Buck?” he asks, his voice just above a whisper.

“Yes. He seemed to enjoy it.”

“I can see why.”

The door opens and Bucky comes in carrying everything he could from her apartment. 

“What’s wrong with Stevie?” he asks, dropping everything on an empty piece of the sectional. 

“Just a little tired,” he says sitting up. Bucky drops to his haunches in front of Steve  and puts his hand on Steve’s cheek.

“Steve.”

“Remember the grand speech you’ve given both of us now, sweetpea? He’s not buying your shit.”

“It is the truth, you two. It’s been a shit week for all of us. I just want to get settled,” Steve says. He runs his fingers through Bucky’s hair and smiles. 

“I know you’re tired, Stevie. I’ll go to the store once we get the list -”

“Wait a minute,” Chase interjects. “Didn’t I see an ad on TV about a grocery chain that delivers around here?”

“Fairway,” Bucky says after a moment. “Yeah, I’ve seen that ad. Didn’t think about it till now. It’ll save us the trip, and you need to relax, Steve.”

“I know,” Steve admits and rubs his neck. “I know.”

“Let me put the soda in the fridge and we’ll do the list together,” Bucky says getting up and kissing Steve on the head. Steve sighs. 

“We need to figure out dinner.”

“We will,” Chase says taking hold of Steve’s hand. “We can just place the order and finish up tomorrow.”

“No, angel. I want to get this done and then relax after it’s done. Tony’s going to get your clothes over here, I just need to get mine and anything else I may need.”

“Steve, it’ can wait,” Bucky says sitting on the other side of him. 

“It’s fine, you two. It really is. Let me go get my shit, start on the list and I’ll be back in a few.”

“Alright,” Bucky says giving in first. 

“Start the list, I’ll be back in about five minutes,” Steve says getting up and stretching. Bucky and Chase grab his ass making Steve jump a little.  He turns around and kisses both Chase and Bucky on the cheek and then leaves. 

“I’m the reason he’s so fucking tired, doll.”

“You aren’t the only reason, honey. He’s worried about both of us and he doesn’t take care of himself.”

“Guess we have to.”

“He likes to be held, just like you do, Bucky. He needs that just as much as you and I do.”

“We can do that, baby.”

“What’s his favorite thing to eat?” Chase asks. She’s already searching for Fairway Market on her phone.

“The kid loves spaghetti and meatballs. From scratch. I made them for him one year, like a hundred fucking years ago. I thought he’d make himself sick he just kept eating,” Bucky laughs. 

Chase stops playing on her phone for a moment and looks at Bucky.

“I used to make meatloaf with a mix of like ground sirloin and ground veal and ground sausage…”

“Perfect for meatballs, baby. You’ve got the idea. Tell me you do your sauce from scratch, please.”

“Unless I’m in a hurry, yes,” she says searching for the things she needs and adding them to the cart. “Garlic bread?”

“Yup. He likes pecan pie for dessert. You plan on making him feel loved. Good call, baby.”

“He’s so goddamn sweet,” Chase sighs. “I missed you two so much.”

“Pretty sure we missed you, too, baby,” he says leaning in and kissing her cheek. 

“Do we make the pie from scratch?”

“Do they have one?”

“Uh...yes! Says they’re made fresh daily.”

“Get it.”

“Anything else we should -” Chase stops abruptly when Steve walks back in.  He stops in the doorway looking from Chase to Bucky. Chase smiles and based on the less than amused look on Steve’s face Bucky is grinning, too.

“You’re scheming. Both of you,” he growls, throwing his shit onto the sectional and watching it avalanche to the floor.

Chase gets up, sits on the floor next to the avalanche and starts sorting through the piles.

“Baby, we can do this,” Bucky says trying to coax her off the floor. 

“Chase,” Steve groans. “We got this.”

“You’re tired, Bucky’s tired. I’ve got this. Is there more stuff at your place, Steve?”

“A little.”

“Bucky -”

“Come on, Stevie. Let’s get your shit and come back. She’s already started on a list. Speaking of, stop what you’re doing and add what you need for shower supplies and whatever,” he instructs Chase. 

“What are you two up to?” Steve asks again.

“I’m about five foot seven or so and Bucky’s what? Six foot?” Chase jokes. Bucky’s trying not to grin and failing. Steve is still not amused. He shakes his head and heads out the door followed by Bucky. 

“Poor baby,” Chase muses as she goes back to sorting. 

It’s not long before the boys return. Steve’s got an overflowing laundry basket and Bucky has bags filled with other things.

“Looks like you don’t do your laundry either, Captain Rogers,” Chase says looking at the overflowing basket. She’s pretty sure those clothes are so tightly compacted she’ll never get them out. 

“It’s not as bad as Buck.”

“Yeah, right,” Bucky laughs. “You can’t live in denial forever.”

“Ain’t just a river in Egypt, my love,” Chase adds.

“Remember that shit about ganging up on Buck?”

“Steve, stop. You know we’re being simple. Come on, sweetie, come sit down,” Chase says patting the only empty piece of the sectional around her. Steve sits on the floor next to her instead. 

“You don’t listen for shit either, you know that?” she asks, scratching his chin. 

“I learned it by watching Buck.”

“You’re a belligerent asshole just to be one,” Bucky tells him, dumping his armful on the sectional and watching it roll onto the floor in front of Chase. She gives Bucky a look and he shrugs and grins playfully. 

“Let’s finish the list and then I’ll start on laundry,” Chase intervenes. “Did you get everything?”

“Yeah. Let me help, angel,” he says reaching for some of the stuff that fell.

Bucky sits on the coffee table picking through things that look interesting to him.

“Tell me what you two need, and I’ll send the order out.”


	49. Tony Delivers and Steve Needs A Nap

Chase is sitting on the now mostly cleared off sectional folding one of the nine million shirts Bucky has. The order from Fairway just arrived and the boys are putting things away. Bucky is taking care of the cold stuff, and Chase is hoping Steve is too tired to notice what was purchased. 

She sees Steve come around the sectional with bottles of shampoo and body wash. He’s looking at one in particular.

“Milk and honey?”

“Smell it. Just pop the top and take a whiff,” she tells him. He puts the other bottles on the coffee table and does just that. He smiles immediately.

“Bet this makes you smell amazing, dollface.”

She shrugs. “Axe all in one body wash. Not surprised in the least,” she laughs. 

“That’s his shit. This one is mine,” Steve says sitting next to her. He reaches for one of the other bottles. Dove Men Care. He pops the top and waves it under her nose. It’s a nice crisp, clean scent. She likes it. She takes his hand and holds it so she can smell it again. 

“You like that, huh?” he asks playfully. 

“Yeah, actually I do. Why don’t you go take a nap? Bucky and I can finish this stuff.”

“I’m alright, Chase.”

Chase was about to argue further when there’s a knock at the door.

“That’s Tony,” Bucky barks from the kitchen. “I’m staying in here.”

Chase shakes her head. Steve kisses her temple and gets up to let Tony in.

“Where is she?”

“Nice to see you, too, Stark,” Steve says opening the door all the way. Tony has Pepper with him and both of them are carrying an obscene amount of bags. Steve takes the bags from Pepper and she looks eternally grateful for that. 

“Hey, kiddo,” Tony says walking in. He puts the bags on the floor in front of her and slides the body wash/shampoo circus over so he can sit on the coffee table. 

“Jesus Christ, Tony. Did you buy Manhattan?” she asks looking at all the bags. 

“This is her fault,” Tony jests, looking over at Pepper. She smiles ruefully and sits next to Chase on the sectional. Steve moves the folded laundry over so he can sit on Chase’s other side. 

“We got everything I could think of,” Pepper explains. Chase is looking through the bags.

“Ah, dress clothes. Lovely,” Chase grumbles.

“You know damn well I’ll make you wear them, too,” Pepper warns. Chase looks at Tony who looks just as surprised as she is.

“Yes, ma’am,” Chase says. Steve is laughing. She elbows him lightly, but it doesn’t do any good. 

“Where’s the other one?” Tony asks looking around.

“Kitchen,” Steve and Chase answer together.

“He cooks?” Tony asks in surprise. 

“Tony,” Pepper says firmly.

“It’s a legitimate question,” Tony responds.

“He’s putting food away. Victoria’s Secret….is this why you thought you were in a shitty porn, Starky?”

Pepper starts to laugh. Steve’s trying to covertly see what’s in the bag. 

“I was practically assaulted in that goddamn store, just so you know,” Tony states.

“Stop it, you were not,” Pepper says still laughing.

“I was. Damn teeny bopper came at me and I had to run and find Pepper.”

“A teenage girl sent you running, Stark?” Steve asks. Tony glares at him and Steve laughs harder.

“Take him in there one day and just walk away from him. See what happens,” Tony tells Chase. She looks at Steve and smirks.

“Don’t you dare,” Steve says, his laughter stopping. Now Tony is laughing.

“If anything doesn’t fit or you don’t like it, let me know and we can replace it,” Pepper says as she gets up. “We’ll leave you three alone now.”

“You sure you’re okay, kiddo? These two aren’t holding you hostage?”

“Jesus Christ, Stark,” Steve groans.

“I’m good and they are not holding me hostage. I promise,” she says crossing her heart.

“You need anything you call me,” he says looking over at Steve and then getting up. 

Pepper smiles at Steve who gets up and walks with her to the door. Tony lingers.

“Chase, I’m serious. You’re in a relationship with two guys who are old enough to be your grandfathers. One of them is unstable, at best. Hell maybe it’s both of them. I can clear out that other apartment, redo the bathroom, whatever it takes -”

“Tony, stop,” she says cutting him off. “I know the risks. I knew them before and I know them know. You have Pepper to take care of you and to love you. Who do they have? Look how long they’ve been around, getting frozen and unfrozen, getting tossed into missions and fighting and then doing it all over again. If you were either one of them, wouldn’t you want someone to love you and make you feel safe after you got home from saving the world?”

“I hate how articulate you are. Just so you know,” Tony mutters. “Fine. You know the rules.”

“Don’t get them wet and no feeding them after midnight.”

Tony blinks a few times, completely befuddled. 

“Maybe I should just kick your ass instead,” he offers with a grin. “Fucking Gremlins.”

“Meh, take a number and stand in line, Starky,” she says with a shrug. Tony gets up and so does Chase. 

“You’re still hurting. Why haven’t you taken that fucking pill?”

“Because that fucking pill makes me more useless and stupid than I already am.”

“This self depreciating  bullshit has to stop, Chase.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Chase.”

“Tony.”

He studies her for a moment and she smiles.

“Fucking Gremlins,” he mutters and then laughs again.

“Tony?” Pepper calls. 

“See you later, kiddo,” Tony says hugging her gently. Chase is reminded again how much she loves Tony. How much she loves all of them here. 

“I’ll shoot you a message tomorrow, Starky,” she promises. He smiles and follows Pepper out of the apartment.

“What was this about gremlins?” Steve asks, looking perplexed. Bucky comes out of the kitchen finally.

“Jesus Christ, did he buy Manhattan Island? And what about gremlins?”

“What’s in the Victoria’s Secret bag?” Steve asks which immediately diverts Bucky’s attention to said bag.

“Ooooh,” Bucky whispers.  Chase sits on the sectional between her two boys and pulls the tissue paper from the bag and peers inside. She can see at least two bras and lots of panties. Pepper’s a good woman. 

The boys are struggling not to take the bag from her at this point. 

“You two need to take a cold shower.”

“Nope,” Steve says trying to tip the bag so he can see what’s inside. She bats him away. She starts pulling the items out and handing the boys what’s inside alternating between the two. Both of them have highly amused looks on their faces. 

“That’s it,” Chase says when the bag is empty. “Five bras and I don’t know how many -”

“Twelve,” the boys answer together. She laughs. There’s enough lace on everything to cover a house. 

“Hand wash only,” Steve reads as he looks at the tag on one of the bras.

“Only way to make them last. I mean, you can wash them on delicate, I have, but they don’t recommend it.”

“Why so much padding?” Bucky asks squeezing the cups and looking dismayed. “What’s the fucking point?”

“The point is to keep from having viewable headlights. And support.”

“That’s just stupid. Who doesn’t like looking at tits?” Steve asks. Oh god.

“You want some creeper looking at me in a store after one or both of you has me hot and bothered? Or I’m cold?”

The boys look at each other. That’s not what they were thinking about, obviously.

“No, but we like to look,” Bucky says squeezing the cups again and making a face.

“No girl in her right mind keeps a bra on after she gets home unless she knows she’s going back out. These fucking things are uncomfortable and a fucking pain in the ass.”

“You’re wearing one now,” Steve reminds her.

“Am I? I don’t recall either of you helping me put mine on today.”

Now both the boys have that puckered  _ O _ face on. She feels hands on either side of her back seeking out confirmation of this and Chase shakes her head.

“So...when do we see you strut around in these?” Bucky asks going back to toying with a bra. Steve’s looking over all the panties.

“Why? So I can torture you two?”

“What did I do?” Steve demands. Chase can’t help but laugh.

“Nothing. You’re alright,” she tells him. He smiles tiredly. 

“What’s for dinner?” Steve asks.

Chase looks over at Bucky who nods his head.

“It’s a surprise,” Bucky tells him. “Why don’t you either go put some of your shit away or go take a nap.

“What kind of surprise?” Steve asks ignoring everything else Bucky just said.

“The kind that’s a surprise,” Chase answers. Steve rolls his eyes. 

“Why are you being difficult?” he asks Chase.

“I’m not. You’re being the stubborn one.”

“This is your doing,” Steve says pointing to Bucky who is just laughing away. 

“Negative. She was like this when we met her.”

“I will beat your ass,” she threatens. Bucky takes her by the chin and kisses her on the lips. 

“No you won’t, baby,” he whispers and then kisses her again. 

“What’s the surprise?” Steve asks again. Chase shakes her head.

“It’s a surprise,” Bucky tells him. Steve’s not having it, though.

“Chase, angel,” he whispers, kissing her neck softly and putting his arm around her. “What’s the surprise?”

This amuses Chase greatly. That, and seeing the look of disbelief on Bucky’s face right now.

“It was supposed to be a blowjob, but since you’ve decided you had to ruin that, I guess you don’t get it now,” Chase says getting up gingerly. Steve has a look of sheer disappointment on his face right now. 

“What?”

“Yeah. I was supposed to go cook dinner while you went and did whatever in the back and then she’d come back there and…”

“I can still...I’ll go put my stuff away,” he says getting up quickly.

“Too late. You had to spoil the surprise,” Chase says feigning sadness.

“Come on!” Steve pleads. 

“I’ll think about it,” Chase tells him, “if you go take a nap. Please. It’s only a little after four. We’ll get you up in an hour or so.”

“I’m not tired.”

“Bullshit, Steve,” Bucky says flatly. “The bags under your eyes tell a different story. I kept you both up last night -”

“Through no fault of your own, Buck,” Steve interjects. 

“Be that as it may, I still kept you up. She at least got some sleep, you clearly did not.”

“Steve, listen,” Chase says softly, taking his hands in hers, “we aren’t going to do anything without you. I promise. There are clean sheets on the bed and the comforter is on there, too. I see you grabbed your pillows, take them back there and go to sleep for a bit. Please. For me.”

Steve growls and heads back to the bedroom. 

“He just wants to be part of everything,” Bucky says when he’s sure Steve’s out of the hall. “Part of the memories we have is that you and I had a relationship first, he was brought in at the end before you went back and he didn’t get the time with you I did.”

“To be fair, you had five days.”

“That’s it?” Bucky seems surprised by this.

“That’s it. Five days.”

“How long have you been here now?”

“I was there over a month, almost two before the shit hit the fan. Let’s not worry about that. I don’t want to think about it.”

“Fair enough, baby. Should we start on dinner?”

“Yeah. Hopefully he enjoys it.”


	50. Steve and Bucky Discover Each Other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT WARNING.

Steve heads to the bedroom feeling like he’s being brushed off. Bucky had that time with her before she was sent back, he’s familiar with Chase, her body, her likes and dislikes, everything. Steve didn’t even have a day with her. Now she’s back and while things are certainly different - especially between he and Buck now - he still feels like Chase favors Buck over him, and that hurts. 

He flops on the bed and scoops his pillow up for support. He’s so very tempted to call her back here and ask her to rub his back or run her fingers through his hair, or just hold him. Hell he’d be happy with her just holding him. Well…Chase and Buck both, to be honest. To be nestled in between the two of them, Buck holding him like he used to and Chase curled up against him with her head on his chest or his head on hers, whichever. She’s got a nice set of tits. She’s bruised to hell and back, but she’s filled out in all the right places. Buck used to say the good dames had hips, lips, curves and dips. Chase has all of the above.

Steve nods off thinking about Chase’s tits. 

He’s awoken what feels like ten minutes later to Buck’s hand on his shoulder shaking him gently.

“Come on, Stevie. Dinner’s ready.”

“What is that? I smell sauce?” Steve asks as he rubs the sleep from his eyes. He knows he smells pasta sauce, there’s no mistaking it.

“You do. Come on, kid. We’ve got part of your surprise waiting for you.”

“What did you two do?” Steve asks as he follows Buck from the room. He sees Chase standing in the living room waiting for them. She’s got her hand on her side and she looks like she’s hurting.

“She won’t take anything but the fucking ibuprofen,” Buck says smartly. She flips him off and then goes back to smiling.

“We made dinner,” she says.

“She made dinner. I just stood around and got in her way mostly,” Buck laughs. Chase nods in agreement.

“He did help. A little.”

“What did you two do?”

“Come look,” she says taking his hand and leading him to the kitchen. Buck’s walking a half step behind him. 

In the kitchen the smell of sauce and pasta is intensified. They made spaghetti.

“Buck said you like spaghetti and meatballs, so we got the stuff and made it for you, sweetpea.”

“You made meatballs?” he asks looking at Buck. Buck smiles knowingly and gives him a push towards the stove.

“Look in the pot,” she says lifting the lid. Sure enough there’s a pot full of red sauce bubbling slowly and small, round meatballs simmering away. 

“Jesus Christ…” Steve doesn’t know what to say other than, “thank you.”

“Don’t thank us yet, kid. Get a plate and eat. This is only the first part of your surprise.”

“There’s more?” He can’t hide his delight at this. They made him dinner. Not only that they made his  _ favorite _ dinner. Anything else is just going to be icing on the damn cake. 

“You’ll see,” Chase promises. She hands him a bowl she’s already filled with pasta and then lets him drown it in sauce. Buck hands him a container of fresh grated parmesan cheese to go on top and a slice of garlic bread hot out of the oven. Steve sits at the kitchen island still feeling surprised and delighted and not sure what the hell these two are doing. 

“Go ahead and start eating, Stevie. We’ll catch up,” Buck tells him. He and Chase are working on getting their own bowls. Buck chases her to the island to sit down and gets out a bottle of wine from the freezer. 

“I’ll pass. Since you insist on making me take that goddamnable pill later,” Chase grouses. 

“A little won’t hurt you and we’re here, so you’ll be fine,” Buck tells her filling her glass just under half full. He puts a bottle of water next to her glass, then fills Steve’s glass and then his own. Buck finally sits down and he and Chase smile warmly at him. Steve isn’t sure what to think right now.

“Why’d you two do this?”

“Because we can,” Chase says, “go on. Eat.”

Steve digs in and smiles. She’s a damn good cook. Damn good. Buck must have told her what he liked and the two of them made it happen. They’re both smiling as they eat, glancing at him occasionally and smiling all the more. 

“Is it okay?” Chase asks over her wine glass.

“Angel, it’s to die for. You two didn’t have to do this. Really…”

“It’s not over yet. Did you save room for dessert?” Buck asks and then smiles fiendishly.

“What’s for dessert?” Based on Buck’s sinister smile he’s going to assume one or both of them will be wearing a whipped cream bikini to be licked off at leisure. 

“Pecan pie,” Chase says. Steve’s jaw drops a little.

“You remembered, you shithead.”

“I did. Now she knows. It’s not from scratch, there wasn’t enough time,” Buck says starting to apologize.

“No, no, it’s fine. I just...thank you. Thank you both,” he says. Chase goes to get up and Buck puts his hand on her shoulder to keep her still. He gets the pie out - it’s huge - and clean plates and forks for the three of them. He cuts Chase a small piece at her request and then Steve a much larger piece that he’s not sure he’ll be able to finish. 

“Whipped cream?” Chase asks. 

“We got ReadyWhip so we can use it later,” Buck laughs. Chase is grinning now. 

“I’m not sure if I’m alive or if I died in my sleep and this is heaven,” Steve says cautiously. Buck and Chase exchange glances.

“If you’re here with us you’re either still alive or in hell,” Chase says blandly. “We’re not saints.”

“Not by a long shot,” Buck agrees.

“That’s bullshit on both counts,” Steve argues. The other two smile. 

“You’re still alive, sweetie. There’s still more after this.”

“What the hell else could you two do to top this? Dinner was fantastic, dessert was amazing…”

“A hot shower and then Buck’s going to hook up the flat screen he bought while you were asleep in the bedroom so we can cuddle in bed and watch stupid shit.”

Steve isn’t sure what to say at this point. He was asleep for a goddamn hour and these two went apeshit to make sure he was made to feel wanted. 

“Steve?” Buck’s looking at him, his blue eyes showing some concern at Steve’s lack of response.

“I can’t...I don’t know what to say to you two. I don’t. Thank you doesn’t seem to be enough.”

“We didn’t do this for the thanks, Steve. We did it because we wanted you to feel special and appreciated. You mean a lot to us both. Maybe you don’t see it because he and I are such clusterfucks, but you do.”

“Clusterfuck is a good word for us,” Buck agrees. 

“You’re not clusterfucks. Even if you were...I’d love you both anyway,” Steve says softly. 

“We love you, too,” Buck tells him. Chase can’t finish her piece of pie and is currently stabbing the crust. Steve feels like he’s about to explode he ate so much and Buck barely touched his piece of pie. 

“Phase three?” Chase asks stabbing the crust again.

“I’ll clean up. You need to take that damn pill,” Buck orders. Chase rolls her eyes.

“It won’t hurt to take it now, dollface. You didn’t have that much to drink and you ate a good bit. I know you’re hurting and so does he,” Steve tells her, hoping she’ll listen to reason. 

“Fine, fine. I’ll take it after we clean up dinner,” she says trying to compromise in her own way.

“I’ve got this,” Buck says again and he puts the pill next to her. “Go on, get started on the next phase. I’ll be there in a bit,” he adds. He kisses her neck and then her cheek and Steve sees him whisper something in her ear. Her eyes light up, Buck nods and she smiles. She pops the pill and chugs some of the water from the bottle. 

“Come on, sweetpea. I’ve got you to myself for a bit,” she says getting up and then taking Steve’s hand and pulling him up, too. She leads him back to the bathroom and shuts the door.

“Shower?” he asks, not sure what they’re doing.

“Not yet,” she says pulling her shirt over her head. The bruising is still very prevalent but he can see it starting to change colors on the edges. And she’s got a great set of tits. 

She strips the rest of the way and heads to the tub to turn the water on. She’s going to soak with him. Just the two of them. Holy shit…

He strips as fast as possible and sits next to her on the edge of the tub. 

“How’s the temp feel?” she asks leaning back against him. He kisses her shoulder and dips his hand in the fast filling tub. 

“Perfect,” he whispers. She stands up and steps in and he follows. She pulls him into her arms and they sink into the water together. It feels amazing. 

Chase waits till he’s situated then smiles.

“In the tub? Are you sure? What about your rib -” his words are cut off by her lips on his. She’s straddling him, her tits pressed to his chest, and her arms around his neck. He cups her ass and squeezes, feeling her shift and move on him. He’s already hard from seeing her naked, the feel of her on his cock just making his desire that much stronger. 

“You sure about this, angel?” he asks when she relinquishes him from their kiss. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“That’s why I took that stupid pill, handsome,” she whispers. She’s got her lips just under his ear, kissing softly, working her way down his neck to his collarbone. He runs his hands over her hips and then guides himself inside her. She moans and leans back, exposing her neck to him. He thrusts up into her, his lips roaming over her neck and shoulders, his hands on the outside of her thighs, gripping them for traction as he pushes into her. She leans forward, rocking her hips into him. He slides his hands between them and squeezes her breasts before scooping them up and licking and sucking on each one. He slides one of his hands over her side to her clit and rubs softly. He feels her tightening on him as she rocks back once more before gasping his name. He slows his thrust into her, his balls drawing up as he comes. 

“Chase,” he pants into her neck. “Are you alright?”

She leans away from him, that hint of a smile on her face. 

“Let’s move this to the bedroom.”

His eyes widen. She’s not done? Seriously? She stands up, her legs shaking a bit and he stands up quickly to make sure she’s alright. She hands him a towel and steps out, wrapping a towel around herself. She smiles and beckons him to follow. 

Steve follows, because why the hell not. 

Inside the bedroom Chase and Buck are waiting for him. Buck is naked, his hand around his already hard cock, stroking slowly. Chase slinks up next to him like a cat, losing the towel and kissing Buck’s jaw. 

Steve drops his own towel.

“Tell us what you want to see, Stevie. What you want to do,” Buck says and smiles. 

“Anything?”

“Anything,” Chase replies.

Steve looks at Buck then to Chase. 

“Surprise me,” he says finally. 

“Lay on the bed, baby,” Buck orders. “On your back, spread those pretty legs wide open.”

She does as she’s told, Steve can see she’s wet with anticipation and his seed. 

“Your choice now, Steve. Do you want second dessert,” Bucky asks motioning towards Chase, “or do you want watch and fuck?”

“Watch and fuck,” Steve says. He’s only vaguely aware that he’s been stroking himself. Buck nods, and positions himself between Chase’s thighs. Steve hears her moan when he licks her. 

“Top drawer on your side,” Buck says. “No point in ruining our first time.”

Steve goes to the nightstand and finds the lube Buck was referring to. He lubes himself up and then goes back to Buck and Chase. Buck is already teasing her with his fingers and tongue. Steve decides he should give Buck a taste of his own medicine and uses the lube left on his fingers to slip into Buck. Buck groans, Steve can see him tensing and relaxing with each pull and push of his fingers. He works them a little longer, letting Buck get used to the sensation enough that he’s able to focus on Chase again. 

Chase is moaning again and Steve removes his fingers entirely then drives himself into Buck. Buck growls, Steve can feel him clenching on him and he’s sure he’s going to come fairly quickly at this rate. He starts moving slowly at first, giving Buck time again to adjust, but Buck’s already moaning and unable to keep on task with Chase. She seems alright with this and repositions herself so she can stroke Buck’s cock. 

“It’d be easier if you bent him over the bed,” she purrs. Steve stops and Buck whines with desperation. He pulls out, giving Buck time to move. Chase pushes on Buck’s abs a little to push him back a bit further while allowing him to still use the bed for balance. She slips between Buck and the bed and goes down on him sending him on a whole new moaning spree and making him clench that much tighter on Steve. Steve has to hold his breath to keep from shooting his load. He cools off and goes back to thrusting slowly into Buck while he can hear Chase using her mouth in what sounds like obscene ways on Buck’s cock. 

“Jesus...don’t fucking stop…” Bucky pants and Steve thrusts faster, being careful not to jar them apart and send Buck down Chase’s throat without warning. 

He holds Buck by the hips and continues to pull him back and then drive forward into him until Buck’s body goes rigid and he hears a delighted mew from Chase. Steve feels Buck clenching and he can’t hold out this time, his own orgasm breaking over him as he comes with Buck. Chase slides out from under Buck and sits on the edge of the bed. Buck and Steve are still panting.

“Clean up?” she asks getting back up.

“No you don’t. It’s your turn,” Steve tells her. She shakes her head no.

“The wine and the pill are taking hold, guys. My head is starting to swim a little. By all means, though, you two can keep going till your heart's content.”

“Baby…”

“Angel, wait.”

“Guys, it’s fine.”

“We’ll come clean up with you,” Steve says. 

“Why? Are you telling me you two are done? Your first time together and that’s it?”

Both he and Buck are at a loss. Steve wants more, so much more. He wants to map every inch of Buck’s body with his tongue and based on the look on Buck’s face, he’s on the same page. 

“I will be alright. Go play,” she says leaving the room. Steve and Buck look at each other and smile. 

“Your turn,” Bucky says grabbing Steve by the hips and pulling him closer. He kisses Steve and slips his tongue into Steve’s mouth. Steve is all too happy to oblige him, running his hands over Buck’s smooth chest and down his abs. He dips lower and strokes Buck a few times, loving the feel of Buck’s erection in his hand. The precum already gathering on the head Steve uses as lubricant as he continues to stroke him. Buck’s moaning in his mouth, and lets Steve go. 

“This time, you’ll be on your back,” Bucky says with a grin. Steve obliges him and throws himself on the bed on his back. Buck’s already got the lube in his hand and he drops it next to Steve on the bed. He grabs Steve’s legs and pulls him just enough so his ass is almost off the bed. Buck doesn’t prep like Steve did. Instead he makes a grand show of lubing up his erection, slow stroking himself, tugging on his sack, rolling his head back and moaning. Steve’s in a frenzy now. He sits up and grabs Buck’s sides, pulling him on top of his body and forcing his lips to Buck’s, his tongue seeking dominance in Buck’s mouth. Buck breaks the kiss again and slides down a little, kissing Steve’s neck and collarbone, then working his way down his chest, licking and biting here and there, making Steve groan and toss on the bed seeking release. Buck gets to the edge of where Steve needs him most and fondles Steve’s balls, tugging gently, before stroking Steve’s cock gently. The gentleness is maddening. He knows Buck. He knows Buck wants to dive in and just go and he wishes to hell Buck would just do it.

Buck seems to pick up on this, opens Steve’s legs wider and drives hard and fast into Steve’s ass till he he rutts up against Steve making both of them groan in pleasure. Buck keeps this up at varying speeds, sometimes thrusting fast and hard, sometimes slow and deep. It isn’t long before Steve’s hand is wrapped around his cock stroking fiercely.

“No you don’t,” Bucky growls. He lays across Steve in just a way that he can still grind into him but now he can use his hands to finish Steve off as well as himself. Steve’s got fistfulls of blanket as Buck works him over. With one good hard thrust Buck finds Steve’s prostate and Steve comes in a hot mess all over he and Buck. Buck keeps going and thrusting, pushing himself till Steve sees Buck clamp his eyes shut, one final thrust and he can feel Buck pulsing inside him as he finally comes. But Steve wants more. He waits for Buck to pull out of him and then grabs him and pins him to the bed, kissing him and working his way down Buck’s heavy body, being careful to avoid the left arm and shoulder, knowing Buck’s skittishness about that. Buck’s moaning Steve’s name, his fingers in Steve’s hair as Steve continues to map out Buck’s body. Buck’s moans are music to Steve’s ears. Feeling him writhe underneath Steve’s body is the most erotic thing ever. He keeps going until Buck is pleading for him to to finish the job. Steve gives Buck what he’s craving and goes down on him, using his hands to help get Buck off. And it isn’t long before Buck’s got fistfulls of Steve’s hair  and is coming in Steve’s mouth. When he’s finished, Steve licks Buck for good measure, making him shudder and glare at Steve. 

It’s a contest now to see which one of them can pleasure the other one the most. 


	51. Nooky Before Breakfast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More Smut

It’s hours later when Chase wakes up alone on the sectional. This is odd. The lights are still on, as is the TV. She gets up and quietly heads to the bedroom. 

The door is open and Bucky and Steve are curled up in each other’s arms, taking up the entire bed. To say she’s a little put off by this would be an understatement, but she decides to let it go. They wore each other out and this was the end result. She goes back to the sectional and tries to go back to sleep.

Chase hears hushed voices and opens her eyes. Steve and Bucky are sitting practically on each other’s laps having coffee, away from where she was sleeping on the sectional. 

“Hey, baby,” Bucky says as Steve smiles. 

“Hey,” she says and tries to sit up. Her side reminds her she’s still hurt and she winces.

“Easy, easy,” Steve says finally coming over to her. He puts his arm around her and rubs her neck. Bucky gets up and sits next to….Steve.  

Okay, okay, it’s nothing. She took that stupid pill with some wine last night and then ended up falling asleep on the sectional. She’s just tired and sore. 

“I made breakfast, baby,” Bucky says leaning back to look at her. “I can heat it up for you now if you want,” he offers. 

“I think I’ll take a shower first,” she says getting up. She sees Bucky and  Steve exchange glances. 

“What’s wrong?” Bucky asks. They stand up and put their arms around her. It feels forced. 

“I just need a shower. I’m sore, it’s alright.”

“Chase, are you sure?” At least one of them isn’t buying it. 

“Yes. I’m sure.” 

He smiles and kisses her on the cheek. Bucky kisses her temple and she heads back to the bathroom, her mind going a million miles a second.

She’s reading too far into this. She’s just mad they left her on the sectional last night. That’s all. 

She steps into the shower and lets the hot water wash over her. Her mind settles and the pain in her side reminds her that’s the only thing that’s real right now. 

She finishes up and dries off carefully. She heads to the bedroom to find something to wear and is surprised to see her clothes washed and neatly piled on the bed. 

“We weren’t sure where you wanted them, baby.”

She jumps at the sound of Bucky’s voice. He’s got her in his arms immediately, holding her and rocking her gently.

“It’s alright, it’s alright. I didn’t mean to scare you,” he whispers. She feels like a goddamn fool now for being jealous earlier. 

“It’s okay. I just wasn’t expecting you to sneak back here. You guys did my clothes?”

“ We never got around to it yesterday, baby. When he and I got up this morning we decided to let you sleep and get your clothes washed.”

“Thank you,” she says feeling even worse now.

“Baby, what’s wrong? What’s bothering you?” Bucky can see something’s eating her and she doesn’t want to sound like a jealous twat by telling him what’s going on.

“I had a bad dream. That’s all,” she lies. Or maybe it isn’t. 

“Want to tell me what it was about?” he asks. She pats his arm and shakes her head no. 

“I’m cold, I just want to get dressed -”

“You’re pissed about breakfast?” he asks, suddenly worried about that.

“No. You two were hungry -”

“I told him to wait,” Steve says appearing in the doorway. Chase jumps again and she sees Steve glance worriedly at Bucky.

“You’re alright, you’re okay,” Bucky whispers, holding her just a bit closer.  

“What’s wrong, Chase?” Steve asks coming into the room. He reaches for her face and caresses her cheek. 

“Bad dream,” Bucky says locking his fingers at the small of her back. 

“Are you sure, angel? Something else isn’t bothering you?” Steve asks.

“No, it’s fine. I’m just cold and sore.”

“I’ll go heat up breakfast. Do you want some coffee?” Steve asks. 

“Sounds great.”

Steve kisses her lips and then disappears from the room. Bucky keeps her in his arms. 

“It wasn’t a bad dream, Chase, was it?”

“Bucky, it was. I was just disoriented when I woke up. On the sectional.”

“Ah, the truth starts to emerge,” he says playfully. “Steve and I passed out and when we woke up you were asleep still. We didn’t want to disturb you. Breakfast...was my fault. I was fucking starving, baby. I’m sorry.”

“Burn up a lot of energy did you?” she jokes. He grins and buries his face in her neck.

“Maybe. Probably,” he mutters and kisses her. “Heard you gave him a lap ride in the bathtub.”

“I did.”

“When do I get a lap ride?”

“After breakfast?” she offers. He lifts his head and smiles. 

“When you’re up to it, baby. I know you hurt. I just want to make sure you’re okay,” he tells her. She runs her fingers along his jaw and kisses him. She was wrong to be jealous earlier. 

“Slow down, baby,” he says pulling free from her kiss. “We’ve got plenty of time after you take the pill and before you lose your mind,” he says playfully. 

“If I tell you I’m just sore now…” she says hoping he’ll take the bait. Being near him is an automatic turn on and being in his arms only fuels that desire for him. She hears him moan softly. He’s considering this. 

“Steve’s heating up breakfast,” he continues. He’s already back at her neckline, kissing her, hands tugging on the towel to get it open. She helps him out with that and lets the towel spill around her feet. 

“Chase,” he moans running his right hand down between her legs, dipping his index and middle finger inside her. She moans and he’s got his left arm around her pulling her into a deep kiss while he continues to play with her.  She’s got his belt undone and is working on the button of his jeans and then the zipper goes down. She pulls his jeans down a bit and runs both hands over his erection. The outside of his boxers shows the effects she’s had on him, the precum coming through. She runs her thumb over the boxer clad head of his cock making him moan more. He pulls his shirt over his head and she goes for his neck, kissing hungrily at him. He’s working his way out of his jeans, then his boxers, taking his cock in his hand and rubbing it against her clit. She moans for him. 

“This time if you hurt you better tell me, or you’re banned from this till you’re fully healed,” he warns. 

“I will, I will,” she promises. He backs her against the bed till the only place she can go is on her back. He lays on top of her, kissing her, squeezing her breasts, pinching the nipples, and rutting his hips into her, his cock sliding up and down against her wetness. She pulls him down into a liplock and he slides into her, that first thrust going hard and deep till he jars their lips apart. She moans loudly and he kisses her again, quieting her. He continues to thrust into her, those deep, hard thrusts that rock her, making her tits bounce and rub against his chest. 

“Come for me, baby,” he growls, pushing faster. She wraps her legs around him, his cock hitting all the spots now. She latches onto his back with her nails as he pumps still faster. He’s got her at that brink of an orgasm, his breathing is rough like his kisses now. 

“Bucky…” she moans, grinding up into him, making him moan. 

“Come for me, beautiful. I want to feel you come,” he growls. She’s grinds into him again, the sound of his voice pushing her over the edge as she arches up into him, their bodies colliding hard enough to make him grunt loudly and then tense as he comes with her, her body shaking as he finishes his delivery.

“I was wondering what the hold up was.”

“Goddammit!” Chase yelps. Bucky jumped this time, too. He eases his weight onto his left side to keep it off of her while he catches his breath. 

“Sorry, sorry, angel,” Steve apologizes quickly. He sits next to them on the bed and smacks Bucky on the ass, which has the unexpected effect of making him push into her again, which makes her moan and arch slightly. She sees Bucky look over at Steve and grin and Steve is already stripping. 

“Still good, baby?” Bucky asks, running his fingers lightly over her bruising. 

“Yes.”

“You sure, dollface?” Steve asks. Bucky is pulling out of her slowly. He rolls off to the side and Steve lays on his back and beckons to her. 

“Give him a show, baby,” Bucky says kissing her back as moves to mount Steve. She climbs on top of Steve and he cups her breasts, sitting up enough to kiss and lick at them before laying down again. Bucky is on his side watching, lazily stroking himself. 

Chase slides her hands over her breasts and squeezes them, then runs her hands down over her stomach to her hips and to her pelvis. She can feel Steve twitching between her legs, see the anticipation building on his face. She rocks back and forth slowly on him, relishing in his moans and his vain attempts to move her in such a way that he can get inside her. 

“Chase…” He’s all but begging now. She looks over at Bucky who’s smiling approvingly, stroking  himself a little faster now. 

She moves herself just enough to give Steve his much needed entrance into her and he rutts into her, holding her hips down as he does, unable to control his motions. She lets him go, lets him buck and rut into her as she rides him, controlling her movements, making him work that much harder. She feels his grip tighten and he forces her down onto him as he comes. He lessens his grip after a few moments and opens his eyes. She’s smiling patiently. He looks over at Bucky who’s hot and bothered all over again. She leans down and kisses Steve softly then straightens up and runs her hands down her body again. She places one hand on his abs and the other she circles her clit with while Steve watches, eyes wide. She starts rocking on him again, each forward motion she goes up, each backward motion she pushes down on him as she plays with herself. He’s moaning, Bucky is moaning. Steve is helping her get the most for her downward motion, helping her keep that rhythm. She sees Bucky get up, hard and ready and she knows what will be next. To her surprise he waits, leaning into her, his lips next to her ear.

“Keep going, baby. I’ve got one more round when you’re done,” he purrs in that baritone voice of his. He cups her breast and kisses her neck, and she feels her orgasm building with a fury. Steve’s moaning now, and she slows down. He looks at her, confused and needy. She pulls Bucky closer, lets him get behind her on his knees, straddling Steve as well. She guides his hands to her breasts as she starts fingering herself again. 

“Oh god, yes,” Steve groans. Buck removes his hands and lifts her ass enough to push himself inside. She cries out, her climax is building faster now, the feel of them both inside her is pure ecstasy. Bucky holds her ass to keep himself inside her, she frantically toys with her clit and Steve is now thrusting up into her. Both of the men are moaning her name. She drops down on Steve one last time as she comes, both hands planted on his abs for support as her hips and legs quiver. She can feel him coming inside her again and then she feels Bucky’s orgasm a few moments later. Chase can barely move, but goddamn was it worth it. 


	52. Three Of Hearts Becomes The Two of Hearts

It’s been three weeks since the Chase and the boys moved into Bucky’s apartment. Both have been called away to missions, each taking their turn to make sure someone stayed with Chase. Her insistence that she was better fell on deaf ears, even though she was. The bruising was mostly faded now and her rib, according to Bruce, was healing just fine. 

There was another issue now. They kept pushing her out of the bed at night. Not intentionally - at least, not that she thought it was intentional, but it kept happening. She’d get shoved to the edge of the bed and wake up just before she fell on the floor with no place to on the bed to go. Sleeping between them was no longer an option as the boys wanted to cuddle each other. 

It’s this thought that she dwells on as she sits on the sectional at 2am having been forced from the bed again. 

They’d stopped apologizing for it, she realizes. They’d just come to accept it. She wonders if she’s missing more to this than she realizes. 

Chase goes about her day, leaving the boys alone to go have lunch with Tony. A lunch she set up impromptu with Tony just to get out of the apartment. She needed to clear her head. 

“Something’s wrong,” Tony observes, not looking directly at her. 

“Oh?”

“You’re not making witty remarks or smartass comments. You’re quiet. Something’s wrong.”

“Maybe. Could be I’m just moody.”

“Are you…”

“I took a pregnancy test the other day and it was negative.”

“See Bruce.”

“He’s the one that gave it to me, Tony.”

Tony nods his head and sips his drink. 

“Something is wrong, Chase. Tell me or don’t, but don’t lie to me and tell me nothing’s wrong.”

“I don’t know if anything’s wrong, Tony. How can I tell you what I don’t know?”

“Alright. I can’t argue with that. Let’s enjoy lunch. If you figure it out, I expect you to tell me.”

She’d been thinking about that the entire way back to the apartment. She steps inside and it’s quiet. They’re either out with each other again or their napping. 

She heads back the hall quietly in case it’s the latter so she doesn’t wake them. She hears them talking and stops.

“We need to tell her.” Bucky’s voice.

“Tell her what? That we’ve outgrown her part of the relationship? That we no longer feel about her the way we did or at least thought we did?” Steve growls. “That will go over real well with Stark.”

“As opposed to just ignoring the fact that she’s sleeping alone on the sectional?” Bucky snaps. “You’d just let her continue to do that? When was the last time you made any effort to show her affection?”

“When was the last time you did?” Steve counters. 

There is silence now. 

“Look, she deserves better than this. She deserves the truth. I still love her -”

“So do I, Buck, just not like that. Not anymore. And you’re right. When she comes back this afternoon we’ll sit down and talk to her. Maybe we can keep this from turning into Siberia again.”

Chase walks back toward the living room. It hurts to hear them say this, but she knew this was coming. She’d felt it. She’s not really upset, just…

She walks out of the apartment and calls Tony.

“That was fast.”

“We need to talk. Still free?”


	53. Is This Better Or Worse Than Before?

Bucky sits up the minute he hears the door close. 

“She’s home,” he says getting out of the bed and putting his pants on. Both he and Steve have felt the need to be clothed around her now. No more naked nights, no more running around in just boxers or briefs. Even Chase was wearing more - no more tanks and panties, now it’s tees and yoga pants when she goes to bed. On the sectional. Alone. This kills him. This absolutely kills him, because he still loves her. He loves Steve, too, but there’s been a disconnect there between he and Chase since he and Bucky were able to finally be open with each other. Maybe Steve did love her at some point. Maybe he just thought he did. Bucky doesn’t know, and it doesn’t matter. He made his choice to be with Steve and in doing so he broke a piece of his own heart and soul.

He’s in the living room in a matter of seconds. She’s gone. Oh shit….

“Buck?”

“She heard us, Steve.”

“Oh no...oh shit,” Steve groans. He’s already trying to call her. Bucky knows she won’t answer. Not if she heard what was said. She’ll be devastated. 

“Goddammit,” he growls. “I’m going to see if I can find -”

“Chase? Where are...with Tony….alright...listen, we need to….alright. We’ll see you in a little while,” Steve finishes and then hangs up. Bucky is about to go into full panic mode right now, and the look on Steve’s face isn’t helping matters any.

“Well??”

“She’s with Tony. She heard us and she says we need to talk. She’ll be back in a little while to get her things.”

Bucky sits down heavily on the sectional. It’s done. She’s leaving him. He left her for Steve and somehow stupidly thought she’d be okay even though he knew this wasn’t working and now the finality of this settles on him. He lost her again. He doesn’t even consider what Tony will do. He just thinks about how he’s lost a piece of his soul.

“Buck? It’s going to be alright,” Steve promises, taking a seat next to him. “She won’t let Tony hurt us.”

“Why? We just screwed her over on such an epic goddamn scale that we may as well have just sent her back to her own world again without a second thought.”

He sees his words hit Steve like a right hook. 

“Neither of us intended this, Buck.”

“Yeah. That’s why they say the road to Hell is paved with good intentions, Stevie.”


	54. Shit Gets Real

“That was quick,” Tony says when Chase enters the penthouse. Pepper is looking at something on the iPad when Chase walks in, but smiles warmly when she comes in.

“Can we go for a walk, Tony? I need air and you’re circulated building air, though nice, doesn’t beat open, outdoor air.”

“Go with her, Tony,” Pepper says firmly. 

“I was going to?” 

“I’ll see you in a little while,” Pepper says, kissing him on the cheek. Tony smiles and walks back out of the penthouse with Chase. They’re silent until they get outside. Chase inhales deeply and exhales slowly.

“They dumped you.”

“I love how you just know these things,” she says, only the slightest bit of amusement in her voice. They keep walking, heading for the park.

“I knew something was wrong, Chase.”

“And until I got back, Tony, I couldn’t have told you what it was. I had to hear them say it,” she tells him. She’s still not upset. She just feels…

“You’re terrifyingly calm. You know that, right?” She can hear the concern in his voice. She knows he was expecting her to flip shit if they pulled a stunt like this, and yet she’s not. 

“I know. I’m not upset, though, Tony.”

“No? What are you feeling then, kiddo? Because you’re starting to scare me.”

She’s thoughtful for a moment. 

“Misplaced.”

Tony stops in his tracks and looks at her in dismay. 

“Please tell me you’re not serious.”

“It’s the only word that fits, Tony.”

Tony rubs his face angrily.

“I’m going to kill them both -”

“They didn’t do this. It would have happened regardless of what they did or didn’t do,” she tells him hastily. 

“You’re kidding.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Chase -”

“I hate to interrupt this touching scene with you two, but we have a problem,” Dr. Strange says appearing beside them with Wong at his side.

“Because why not?” Tony snaps. 

“Asgard has been destroyed. Thor and Loki are missing. The Tesseract is gone,” Strange continues, undeterred by Tony’s cynicism. 

“What?” Chase demands. She can’t believe this. It’s not happening. It can’t be. Flashes of the Infinity War commercial race through her mind. No. No, not this….

“What do you mean Asgard is gone? How is that even possible?”

“I don’t know. Heimdal fell into the sanctum and the last thing he was able to tell us before he passed on was that Thanos is coming.”

Chase’s knees get weak. 

“Chase,” Tony says snapping her up in his arms. “Stay with me, kiddo.”

“You know that name,” Strange says.

“He’s coming. He’s looking for the infinity stones. He has the space stone. Loki and Thor may be gone...what the fuck is that?”

The air around them as stopped moving and what sounds like a huge piece of metal being pushed through the sky erupts around them. Circular ships and portals appear and panic ensues quickly thereafter. 

“He’s coming,” Strange mutters. They see Peter swing past them, turn around and come back.

“Mr. Stark! Mr. Stark, what is this? What’s happening?”

“I don’t know kid, but it looks like we have some visitors who might be able to tell us.”

“Hide the stone, Strange,” Chase hisses. “Hide it!”

Strange blinks a few times at her, looking confused and irritated that she would speak to him this way. 

“We come seeking the stone.”  Three black clad aliens, two warrior types and what Chase would guess would be a goddamn mage strut down the street removing anything in their path.

“Hey! Yeah, you three with Squidward there in the lead. Earth is here by closed for alien invasions. You can go now,” Tony says smartly. The mage looking one waves his hand and Tony is sent sailing through the air like he’s a paper doll. Strange and Wong pull up their defensive shields. 

“Run!” Chase yells to Strange. He doesn’t budge. Peter comes flying in and gets caught by the throat by the bigger of the warrior types and hurled backwards. Chase hears Tony’s suit engage and then sees him rocket past she and Strange and Wong. 

“Mark 13 engage. Engage Iron Spider suit,” Tony orders. Chase can see projectiles coming from the sky towards them. Strange and Wong are fighting Squidward and not doing so well, Peter is back on his feet taking out the less beefy but still pretty fucking devastating warrior and Tony is going after the big guy. 

Chase is whacked in the back by the suit that engages automatically. She hears Peter yelling about new car smells and Tony is screaming at them both for a little goddamn help over here.

Chase doesn’t know how to use the suit and is immediately greeted by Friday.

“Welcome, Miss Chase. The nano-tech suit was designed especially for you to assist should you ever need it. Basic skill maneuvers like defensive shields will automatically come up depending on your stance and movements. You should duck.”

Chase drops to her knees just as Strange is sent sailing over her head followed by a RAM super duty pickup. 

“Let’s go,” she yells charging after Strange. Her only thought is of the stone and keeping it from Thanos. 

Squidward has Strange and is taking him aboard a ship. 

“TONY! We have to get Strange!” she yells. 

“I can hear you!” Tony yells back. “Come on, kids,” he says gunning for the ship.

“Friday...do something to get us to that fucking ship fast,” Chase tells the AI.

“You may want to drop to a squat and put your arms out, Miss Chase.”

Friday barely gets the words out and the thrusters engage and Chase is in the goddamn air with her stomach still on the ground. Heights. She fucking hates heights and here she goes doing a mock superman thing trying to get to Tony and the kid and to the ship and sweet Christ she should have just stayed asleep on the sectional.

The ship is already ascending into the atmosphere. This is fucking stupid. What the fuck is she even doing here?

“Tony!”

“You’ve got this. I need you, Chase. Strange is in trouble and I know you know why.”

“What’s going on and why is Squidward taking Dr. Strange?” Peter asks. 

“Because he’s a fucking asshole who works for a bigger asshole and we’ve got to stop them,” Chase explains. She barely gets to the edge of the ship, loses her grip and is caught by Tony and pulled up and inside before the hatch closes. 

Strange is hovering over a table back up, with glass needles coming at him in varying directions. Squidward is carrying on about the time stone and just giving it up because he can end Strange’s suffering now if he cooperates. 

“Imma kick that fucker in his dick nose,” Chase growls. Both Tony and Peter look at her like she’s crazed. She is at this point. Or at least very close. 

“How about we think of a way to distract him so we don’t kill Harry Potter over there?” Tony growls. 

“He’s more like Dumbledore,” Peter says. Tony and Chase shoot him a look and the kid bites his lip. 

“The pop culture references with you two,” Tony says pointing to both Chase and Peter, “need to stop.”

Peter nods his head, Chase just rolls her eyes. And now ole Squidward knows their here.

Strange’s cloak makes a mad dash for the alien’s head temporarily blinding him. The glass needles are now drawing blood on Strange who is understandable upset at this. 

Peter goes full strike mode, but Squidward has the cloak off and sends a piece of the ships equipment at Peter with just a wave of his hand. Chase goes next, even though Tony tried to grab her to stop her and is sent hurtling backwards just past Strange and into a wall. She hits with a solid thud and she’s pretty sure if it weren’t for the suit Squiddy would have broken her back. 

Tony goes next and then Peter follows and now there’s shit flying everywhere, but Squiddy was distracted enough to stop torturing Strange and now he’s up. 

“Hey! Remember that movie with the big alien in the ship?” Peter yells as he ducks on oncoming barrage of ship equipment. 

“Pop. Culture. Stop.” Tony orders.

“Your protege has an idea, we may want to hear him out!” Strange barks angrily at Tony.

“The hatch?” Chase calls. She’s caught, mid air, by Squiddy’s superpowers.

“I will crush you and your kind and then you won’t need to worry about what comes next,” Squidward threatens. Chase can’t breathe. She’s literally gasping for air and she can hear Friday alerting Tony to this. 

She’s dropped suddenly, she sees Strange’s cloak and Peter go flying by and then all the air is being pulled out of the goddamn ship. Her mask engages, because Tony and Friday seem to have this space travel shit down to a fucking art form, and Strange is being sucked outside. 

“Get him!” Chase rasps. Her vision is still fuzzy and her throat feels like it’s been crushed. Honestly, it actually was, so she’s got good reasoning. 

“I got him!” Peter yells. 

Chase is still trying to regulate her breathing and the air being pulled from the room isn’t helping any. Her vision went from being fuzzy to going gray. She can’t breathe.

“Chase! Chase!” Tony yelling is the last thing she hears before she passes out. 


	55. Flight For Wakanda Departs Now

The alarms in the tower are all going off, Code Red alerts are being issued and New York is under attack. 

Bucky and Steve are both geared up and ready to go, but Bucky is more worried about Chase then actually doing anything outside.

“Buck, we don’t have time for this. She’s safe, I’m sure of it. You want to keep her that way we have to go!” Steve yells. 

Bucky glares at him but agrees and the two of them head out. 

“Where are Vision and Wanda?”

“Wakanda. Strange alerted them first. Something about an infinity stone and that gem stuck in Vision’s head,” Natasha says as they run to the war room. 

“They’re retreating,” Sam yells. “Whatever they were looking for they must have got it!”

“We have to go to Wakanda,” Steve orders. “Now.”

“Get the the QuinJet,” Natasha says. “Clint,” she yells into her earpiece. “Get to the hangar.”

Clint is already at the helm of the jet when the others climb aboard, including Bruce. 

“Wakanda,” Steve tells Clint.

“Where the hell is that?”

“Trust me,” Steve says as they take off. 


	56. The Plot Thickens

Elsewhere in another plane of existence….

“Wait. Wait. How many universes?”

“Infinite. We are all a constant, but she isn’t and with each jump to a different universe she makes, the fabric of reality tears a little more.”

“How do we stop this?”

Dr. Stephen Strange opens a portal to show the Avenger’s what he sees. 

“This universe, this timeline she is currently trapped in - it’s going to be destroyed. I’ve seen it, I cannot unsee it. Thanos will get the gauntlet and thinking he can just save half the universe while eliminating the other half, he actually causes the universe to collapse in on itself. When that happens….”

“When that happens what?” Steve asks, already fearing the answer. 

“The tear becomes a rip and all of the universes may suffer the same fate. Like a domino effect.”

“Shit,” Sam hisses and starts to pace. 

“This is all because of one girl?” Wanda asks as she watches the girl in Strange’s portal ripple from point to point. 

“Whatever happened that took her from our world originally has been trying to correct that through a series of...events. The corrections have thus far failed and time is of the essence now.”

“Again,” Tony says, losing his patience, “how do we get her back?”

“I have a theory about the paradox that’s she’s created,” Strange says thoughtfully.

“That she created?” Tony snaps.

“Tony,” Steve says gently, trying to keep Stark from going after Strange.

“Inadvertently,” Strange adds tersely. “I may have a way to get her back, but we need to find Thor.”

“And if we cannot locate Thor?” Vision asks, head tilted as he and Wanda continue to watch the images flicker. 

“She will need to be -”

“Don’t you fucking say it!” Tony yells. “Don’t you even fucking think it!”

“If we can’t get her back, the fabric of time and space is destroyed and what happens to all the other universes, Stark? She’s one person, and unfortunately the catalyst to the apocalypse if we can’t get her here!” Strange snaps. 

“So we just kill her? What? Do we drop a bomb from one of your portal things here and hope it hits the mark?” Clint asks.

“Nobody is killing anybody,” Tony snarls. 

“This has to stop, Tony. One way or the other, it has to stop. She can’t help what’s happening, but if that’s the only way, then so be it. Strange is right, she’s the focal point here,” Steve says tiredly. 

“And if this was your goddamn Bucky would you be so fast to say kill him?” Tony demands. Steve looks away and shakes his head. 

“Yes -”

“Oh bullshit,” Tony yells. “You’d do anything to save that goddamn -”

“Tony!” Natasha barks.

“She’s my sister, Natasha. She’s all I have fucking left in this world. What the fuck do you want me to do here?”


	57. Enter the Guardians

“Hey, kiddo, welcome back.” 

Chase opens her eyes and sees Tony down on one knee next to her and Peter and Strange hovering over her. 

“Shit,” she chokes and scrambles to get up. “Where’s Squidward?”

“Free floating in space,” Strange says. 

“Seriously?” Chase asks looking out the glass portion of the ship at twinkling lights passing by quickly. This is too fucking much now. The feeling of being lost is intensifying, of not belonging, of imminent danger…

“Yeah, headed to a destination unknown. I’m an Avenger now,” Peter announces. She pats his face and smiles. This kid is just the shit.

“Care to elaborate on how you know about Thanos?” Strange asks.

“I don’t. What I know is what you picked up, none of you are supposed to be real, you’re all movies and made up characters...the things that I know about Thanos...the gauntlet controls everything, he’s after the stones and once he gets them…” she trails off. She doesn’t know exactly what happens, Thanos was never someone she cared about or even knew until she saw the first Avengers film and then the subsequent Guardians of the Galaxy film. 

“Then he can’t get to them. I will do what it takes to protect the stone. Even if that means risking your lives,” Strange says flatly. 

Tony is scratching his cheek with his middle finger, because that’s what Tony does. Peter is blinking like a deer in headlights and Chase is pretty sure she should have just gone out the airlock with Squidward. 

“Looks like we’ve reached our destination,” Tony says looking at their current trajectory. 

“Good, maybe we can get some answers,” Strange mutters. 

The foursome descend from the ship after it lands. This place is trashed, it’s in utter ruin. Peter is snatched from behind and a gun is pointed to his head. A big dude tries to get Tony, but is subverted by Chase with a shield bash to the head thanks to an assist from Friday. Tony is currently standing on the big guy’s chest with one of the gauntlet’s lasers pointed at him.

“Where is Gamora?” the guy with the gun asks.

“Oh god. Sweet Christ here we go,” Chase grumbles and throws her hands up.

“Who is Gamora?” Tony demands trying to keep an eye on Chase who has now taken a seat on a pile of rocks. 

“I’ll do you one better,” says the guy on the ground whom Chase now recognizes as Drax, “why is Gamora?”

Quill and Tony just kind of look at him.

“Where’s your boss?” Quill snarls.

“He’s not here and Thanos isn’t our boss, you shithead,” Chase yells. “We’re after him.”

Quill lowers the gun.

“You don’t work for Thanos?”

“No,” Strange replies.

“You’re on one of his ships,” Quill persists.

“Yeah, he’d taken our wizard companion over there and we had to get him back,” Tony says arrogantly. Drax laughs. Chase sees a mousy female emerge - based on the stalks on her head, she’s guessing this is Mantis. 

“He’s coming to get the time stone. We need a plan,” Strange announces. Tony and Quill immediately go into bickering mode over who should be in charge of said plan. Strange sits and meditates.

“You are sad,” Mantis says softly to Chase. “You have no home?”

“I don’t know any more.”

“I can sense your feelings without touching you. You’re very strong.”

“No, I’m just a fucking mess,” Chase admits. Mantis sits close to Chase and watches Quill and Tony go about the alpha male showdown. 


	58. Another Flight To Wakanda, For Different Reasons

Steve rubs his temples. Tony is hell bent on saving his sister and Steve can’t fucking blame him. He’d just found out about her, just found out his mother had an affair while his father had been away on business and this girl was out there when there was an explosion and a rip appeared. That’s the only way he can describe it - a rip. He could see into another world and it was the freakiest thing he’s ever been witness to. And she’d been pulled through. That was almost a year ago. Tony has worked ceaselessly to find her and get her back, but to no avail. 

“I don’t know how to pull her back through, Stark. Thor is missing and so is Loki. The Rainbow Bridge was our only other possible means to get to her. The amount of energy and power that would take...the Infinity Stones are scattered throughout the universe, even if we  _ did _ know where the Space Stone is, how do we know it will get her here? How do we know it won’t make things worse?” Strange demands. 

Steve considers this. There may be someone who can help. Shuri is well above Einstein level genius. If anyone can possibly figure out a way to get Chase home, it’s going to be Shuri.

“I’ll be back,” Steve announces.

“Where the hell are you going?” Sam asks. “Can I go?”

“No.”

“Steve.” Natasha knows what he’s thinking. She’s the only person on the team who can read him like that. Bucky used to do it, too….

“Where  _ are _ you going, Rogers?” Tony demands angrily. 

“To check on a possible lead that may get your sister home, Tony.”

Tony’s mouth snaps shut and the look of last hope tears at Steve’s soul. If he can pull this off and Shuri can get her back, maybe Tony will finally let go of the past. 

“Go. Please,” Tony says softly. “Help me get her back. She’s all I’ve got left.”

“I know, Tony,” Steve says. Tony nods and Steve leaves the war room. He hears hasty footfalls behind him.

“I know where you’re going. I’m coming with you,” Natasha tells him.

“Why?”

“Somebody has to keep you out of trouble. Besides, going alone, especially given your current status as a wanted man, may not be the best idea. You may need backup.”

“Always planning,” he says and then grins. Natasha’s always had his back, even when it seemed like she didn’t. 


	59. Asking For Help

Steve and Natasha land in Wakanda several hours later. Stepping off the QuinJet they’re met by T’Challa and Shuri along with the Elite Guard. 

“I received your message, Captain Rogers. What seems to be the issue?” T’Challa asks as he walks with Steve back inside. Natasha follows with Shuri. 

“I have a favor to ask. Again,” Steve says hoping he isn’t pressing his luck with the king. T’Challa nods. 

“Not a favor of me, per se, but of Shuri,” he says looking over at his sister. Shuri smiles smugly. 

“Yes.”

“Come, tell us what has you in such need you’d seek us out a second time, Captain Rogers.”

T’Challa takes Steve and Natasha to a grand banquet hall. They’d prepared for their arrival. Food was laid out for them to dine on. Always the exemplary host, Steve muses. 

“So,”Shuri says taking a seat after T’Challa, “what’s going on?”

“Tony Stark discovered he has a half sister. They’d just met when there was an explosion and something happened…”

“Go on,” T’Challa urges. Shuri is listening intently. So is Natasha. She’d been on a mission when this all went down and was only able to piece together bits and pieces. 

“There was this  _ rip _ I guess. I could see into another world. It was surreal at best. I saw it for only a moment and then all hell broke loose and things were flying around being sucked into this tear or rip or….”

“Interesting,” Shuri purrs, leaning on her hands. “Keep going.”

“Chase got sucked through this hole and Tony’s been going apeshit trying to find her.”

“What does that have to do with us?” T’Challa asks calmly.

“It gets worse,” Natasha says. “Much worse.”

T’Challa looks at Okoye and then Nakia. 

“The worlds we exist in, we are all a constant, according to Dr. Strange. Tony’s sister is not. She’s an unwitting participant in what’s happening, but it’s happening because of her. She was pulled from our world and dropped into another one. She was sent back to a different world, and ended up in yet another version of our reality. Each jump she makes the fabric of reality get weaker. The one she is in now...there’s a mad man seeking ultimate power and if he gets it, that universe will collapse and so may ours and all the others,” Steve explains. Saying all this makes his head pound. 

“You need a way to get her home,” Shuri says. 

“Yes. Our only other option is to eliminate her as a threat, and I haven’t the slightest idea how Strange plans on doing that, either.”

“That’s the easier option. Just send something through to that point where she is and have it take her out,” Shuri muses. “Less energy consumption. To get her here would take……..”

“Take what, Shuri?” T’Challa asks. 

“A massive power source and the ability to pinpoint her location exactly. The portal opening I can whip up in short order, everything else won’t be so easy, if it’s even possible.”


	60. Enter Thanos

“So, we’ve got the plan, right?” Tony asks for the third time.

“We’ve got it. Mine was still better, but we got it,” Quill gripes. Chase shakes her head. They’re all going to die. Today is everyone’s day to die, even hers and at this point she can’t say she cares. After everything that’s happened up to this point, does it matter?

“Chase? You in there?” Tony asks.

“Yup.”

“You good?”

“Yu-“ Her word is cut short at the opening of a portal and the largest alien dude she’s witnessed thus far emerging. Wearing a golden glove with the glittering stones. She knows who he is and she knows what that gauntlet can do. Shit just got real.

“Go!” Quill yells. The beat down begins, more of Thanos beating them than not. Strange opens portals and Peter is basically playing tag with Thanos, popping up here and there and kicking and punching where he can. Thanos catches on and is able to snatch Peter by his neck and hurl him away like a rag doll. Tony and Quill and Drax are taking turns trying to pummel him. Thanos goes to lay into Tony and Chase shields him, getting taken down in the process. That’s when Mantis leaps on Thanos’ back and he’s immediately slowed.

“So much pain and remorse,” she whispers. 

“Where is Gamora?!” Quill demands as Tony, Strange and Peter try and pull the Gauntlet off of Thanos.

Thanos is mumbling incoherently about losing what he loves most. 

“WHERE IS SHE?” Quill screams. The Gauntlet is nearly off, Mantis is losing her hold on Thanos, Quill is punching Thanos relentlessly instead of helping the others. Chase is still on the ground from where she was pummeled. She sees what’s about to happen and lunges for Quill. She tackles him, the Gauntlet is off and in the air, Mantis is thrown. Chase, Tony and Strange scramble for the Gauntlet. It’s Chase that catches it. 


	61. Hello, Old Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay with me guys. It seems confusing, but I'm trying to clear it up as we go.

Steve and Natasha watch as Shuri works feverishly on designing the portal and trying to come up with a way to power it. 

“Captain Rogers, I believe there is someone here to see you,” T’Challa says and smiles. Steve turns around and sees Okoye and Nakia standing alongside...Bucky. 

“Steve.”

“Jesus Christ! Buck, how’ve you been, man?” Steve says opening his arms and hugging his best friend. Bucky responds as best he can, his left arm still missing.

“Not bad. Goat herding is calming surprisingly,” he says with a small laugh. “What brings you here?”

“I wish it was something good, Buck.”

Bucky nods. T’Challa motions for his footmen to come forward carrying a case. Steve knows what it is. Bucky’s brow furrows and Steve sees him swallow, hears the dry click in his friend’s throat.

“Where’s the fight?” Bucky asks tiredly. He can see Okoye looking pained by Buck’s words. As a warrior she knows how brutally exhausting the fight can be, and they all know Buck’s been through hell and back more times than anyone cares to count. 

“It may be coming. We don’t know yet, Buck,” Natasha says softly. 

“Preemptive measures, Sergeant Barnes,” T’Challa tells him as he opens the case. It was as Steve suspected,  a new left arm, made of what looks to be Vibranium with gold accents. 

“Shuri,” T’Challa calls to his sister. 

“Come in, Bucky,” she yells. Bucky looks at Steve and smiles weakly. Steve knows he just wanted to be able to live out his life without any more shit. 

Steve and Natasha follow Bucky into Shuri’s lab. She points at the medical table and Bucky hops up and takes a seat. 

“Care to tell me what’s going on, Steve?” Bucky asks as he pulls the sling from around his neck. 

“Let me get you situated,” Shuri says redirecting her focus to Bucky. “You’re going to have a lot of questions.”

Bucky looks to Steve for confirmation of this.

“She’s right. And we’re running short on time.”

“Spill it, punk,” Bucky says through clenched teeth as Shuri attaches the arm. Natasha, who’s seen her fair share of blood shed, looks away. HYDRA is inhumanity at its worst. 

“Tony has a half sister.”

Bucky’s eyes are huge, a look of shock on his face.

“What? Howard has a love child?”

“Not Howard,” Natasha says looking at him again as Shuri finishes. Bucky flexes his fingers on his left hand. 

“How’s it feel?” Shuri asks.

“Alright. Thanks,” he says giving her his best smile. 

“Good, get out so I can work.”

Bucky laughs, clearly used to Shuri’s wit. Steve and Natasha are a little surprised. She shooes them away.

The trio exit her lab quietly. 

“So, Tony’s half sister?”

“Natasha is right. Marie had an affair while Howard was away on business,” Steve begins as they walk. “She must have hid the pregnancy from Howard, we guess, because Tony just found out about her a couple of years ago. He was going through some of his mother’s things and found adoption paperwork for a baby girl. She’d put her up for adoption. We don’t think Howard knew. Tony sure as hell didn’t.”

“What does that have to do with anything else, Steve? Don’t get me wrong, it’s a fascinating story. I’m glad he’s got some family after…”

“Don’t. That wasn’t you -”

Bucky cuts Steve’s words off with a harsh look. 

“She was pulled into a dimensional rip almost two years ago,” Natasha says taking over the tale.

“What sort of horsehit…”

“Just listen, Buck,” Steve says. “It only gets worse from here.”


	62. We May Have A Plan

Bucky is looking at Steve and Natasha like they’ve gone absolutely fucking mad. 

“A dimensional rip, a missing half sister and the end of the world,” he mutters to himself. 

“Aliens attacked New York, Loki had the Tesseract, we’ve gone to battle with Thor at our side. Why is this so far fetched?” Natasha asks.

“You know what HYDRA was doing during the war, Buck. There’s things out there we don’t understand.”

“Fair enough,” he says looking at his left arm. He sighs. Steve doesn’t have to try and convince him to join him, Bucky’s going to follow Steve wherever Steve asks him to go. He owes Steve his life twice over. 

“Captain Rogers,” Okoye says presenting herself. “Shuri has news.”

Steve nods and they follow Okoye back to the lab.

“I have a theory, but I think we’ll need your friend Dr. Strange here to make it work.”

“I’ll contact him now.”

“There’s more,” Shuri says holding up her hand to stop Steve from calling out. “This is a one shot deal. If this doesn’t work, if something goes wrong that’s it. There are no second chances.”

“T’Challa,” Steve says slowly. “This is Tony Stark’s sister…”

“You may summon him as well,” T’Challa says. Okoye and Nakia give him unamused looks. “The man deserves to be here to at least have the chance to see his only family once more.”

Bucky isn’t exactly thrilled about this. Seeing Tony only pushes those painful memories to the front of his mind. Tony took off his arm. The blast burning him, scarring him further. He understands why Tony did it, knows why Tony loathes him and Bucky can’t blame him. He’s done nothing but cause Tony pain. But he never meant it to be that way. Bucky never meant for anything that has transpired since his capture during the war to happen. The nightmares that plague him every night are a constant reminder of the monster he was, and may still yet be. 

“He will remain civil, Captain Rogers?” Okoye questions, referring to Tony and Bucky’s longstanding issues. 

“If he knows what’s good for him he will,” Natasha answers. 

“He knows what’s at stake here, Okoye. He’s not going to care about anything else.”

Bucky looks at his arm again. The Vibranium is cold and hard, a dull shimmer when it catches the light. He looks up and Steve is watching him, that look of pity on his face. 

“Buck?”

“I’m alright.”


	63. A Glimpse Into A Different World

Steve made his call to Dr. Strange and explained what the situation was. Strange agreed to collect Tony and locate them via portal. It was faster than waiting to arrive by jet and time is of the essence. 

Shuri is hastily completing her build with the help of some of T’Challa’s most promising engineers in Wakanda. She’s even devised a power source, reverse engineering a mockup cold fusion generator which both Steve and Bucky are extremely leary of. Shuri has assured them it is well contained and the least of their worries. 

Dr. Strange arrives with Tony in tow, surprising the king and his consorts. 

“I need to figure out how to do that,” Shuri marvels. 

“Stick to the task at hand,” T’Challa tells her. 

Steve makes hasty introductions and then Tony sees Bucky. 

“Why is he here?” Tony snarls.

“This is his home. I expect you to treat him with the same respect we are showing you, Mr. Stark,” T’Challa warns. Tony backs off immediately. Steve sees Bucky shake his head and step into the shadows away from the crowd. The man he was once is mostly gone, all that remains is a shell, and Steve is scared to death one day he’ll lose Bucky entirely. 

Shuri begins explaining to Strange and Stark what she’s planning. Steve slips from their view to stand with Bucky.

“Ignore him,” Steve says quietly. 

“I can’t. He has every right to hate me. I killed his family.”

“Stop it,” Steve growls. He sees Bucky flinch and feels like shit immediately. “What happened you had no control over. We’ve been through this, Bucky.”

“Yeah. I know,” he replies sullenly. “It doesn’t change the fact that I did it.”

For this Steve has no reply. He can’t change that fact, he can’t argue it and this is the fact that Bucky is so stuck on. Not that he was under HYDRA control, not that was forced to do these things against his will, but that he did them. 

“Buck, you’re a good man. I know that. Natasha knows that. T’Challa knows that. You’ve been a victim of shit that was beyond your control.”

“Yeah.”

“Buck.”

“Steve.”

“Stop being a dick.”

This actually makes Bucky laugh a little and for this Steve is eternally grateful. 

“Are we ready?” Shuri asks. Steve and Bucky divert their attention to her. Steve pushes Bucky forward and out of the shadows a little. 

“Do it,” T’Challa commands. Shuri sets everything into motion, Strange opens up one of his mystic gates in front of Shuri’s constructed portal. Gasps fill the room. 

Steve can only describe what he’s seeing as like a reflection in a pool of water, small ripples breaking the surface tension occasionally. They see Tony and Peter and Strange and Chase and three others battling  a very large, very angry man. They’re being beaten to a pulp nearly by this being. 

“Chase!” Tony yells reaching for the portal. Shuri grabs him to stop him.

“You touch that and you may end up there or we may all blow up. Let’s not do that,” she says hastily. 

Steve sees Chase shield Tony from a brutal onslaught from the giant and in return takes the full brunt of the blow, knocking her down and seemingly out. 

“How do we get her? How do we get her out?” Natasha asks, looking from Shuri to Strange. 

“The portal isn’t ready yet,” Strange mutters, continuing to focus his energies. 

“She’s getting pummeled!” Steve argues, stepping away from Bucky now. 

“Do something!” Tony pleads. Bucky is now next to Steve, Tony’s pleas striking all of them. 

There’s a female mutant or alien on the giant’s back and he’s slowing down. Stark, Peter, Strange and another marked man are trying to pull the metal glove from the larger man’s hand. Another man stands beating the hell out of the man, screaming at him about the location of someone else. They see Chase tackle the man who is screaming, see the glove come off and fly into the air, see Chase reach for the glove….

“NOW!” Shuri yells. Strange focuses all of his energies, the deafening sound of the cold fusion generator being pushed beyond its limits fills the room, there’s a blinding flash…..


	64. Chase Sees

Chase has the Gauntlet and slips her hand inside. The power rush flowing through her is intense. She sees everything now. Every world, every universe, the ebb and flow of reality itself…

“Give me the Gauntlet, young one,” Thanos orders, batting the others away like flies. “This power is not for you.”

She turns and faces him and he steps back in awe. She can feel the universe coursing through her veins. 

“Nor is it for a madman like you,” she tells him gently. 

“You risk everything. Your very soul will be corrupted. Give me the Gauntlet, child,” he says softly, reaching for her. He’s taken on a fatherly tone, firm and gentle. 

“No.”

She sees now. She sees what has happened. She sees her past, her adoption, her foster families, meeting Tony for the first time. She sees  being thrown into another world, being put into a psych ward because no one believed her, finally getting her life back together after her release, after being convinced that it was just a dream or hallucination. She sees  the lightning strike, Buck and Steve and Tony throwing her away like trash after professing their love and fucking her brains out. She sees the car crash, waking up in their world, but things were wrong and out of place, and realizing she was the one that was out of place after being tossed away again when Bucky and Steve decided they no longer needed her. And now she can see Tony, Strange, Steve, Natasha...looking at her from a ripple in the universal fabric...Tony is crying, pleading for her to come home…

“Home,” she muses looking at the Gauntlet, seeing it glow softly, the stones twinkling as they await her bidding.

“I will not ask again, child,” Thanos says stepping closer. “Give it to me.”

Chase looks up at him. She sees now. She sees and she understands. She closes her eyes and the glow intensifies on the Gauntlet blinding them.

“NO!” Thanos bellows.

Chase feels like the fabric of her very being is being pulled apart, as stars and galaxies pass before her eyes. There’s another searing flash of light, burning her, the pain intensifying till she can bear it no more...


	65. The Lost One Comes Home

Tony opens his eyes and looks around. The automatic fire extinguishers in Shuri’s lab are going off, lights are flickering and everyone is on the floor. Then he sees her.

“CHASE!” he cries scrambling to the limp body of his sister. “Chase, wake up! Wake up!” he begs.

He doesn’t notice the others getting up slowly. Doesn’t see Steve or Natasha or Shuri or any of them approaching him. He just cradles his sister in his arms. He’s never believed in god, never believed in much of anything but his own prowess, but right now he’s praying to whatever may be out there to not take away the only family he has left in this world. 

“Tony,” Steve whispers, reaching for Chase. Tony snarls at him, holding her closer. 

“Don’t you touch her!”

“Stark, move,” Strange says firmly. Tony slowly relinquishes control, tears streaming down his face. 

“She’s alive. She needs medical attention. Her pulse is very weak,” Strange announces, looking at Shuri. 

“Get her to medical. Hopefully it is still in one piece,” T’Challa orders. Tony can’t move, he feels paralyzed. 

“Tony,” Steve says gently, “give her to me.”

Tony looks up at Steve, the only person in this room he would trust with Chase at this point, and lets him take her. Natasha and Okoye help him to his feet and they follow Shuri, Steve, and Strange to medical. 

“Out all of you except the doctor,” Shuri demands. T’Challa guides them out and away. 

“Get her lab stabilized. See to it that cold fusion generator is secured,” T’Challa orders. Several members of the kingdom make haste to Shuri’s lab.

Tony watches helplessly as Strange and Shuri tend to Chase. He sees Bucky’s reflection in the glass and looks at him. The man has tears in his eyes, the look of pain and guilt on his face evident. Tony can say nothing. He looks into the room again hoping this won’t be the last time he sees his sister alive. 


	66. Chase Awakens

Chase opens her eyes and looks around. This place she doesn’t recognize. Not from anything she’s been through recently. Speaking of which, why does it feel like her soul was set on fire and her body combusted with it? What the fuck is this about now?

“God-fucking-dammit,” she groans reaching for her temples. She’s stopped short by the tug of a too short IV lead in her left arm. 

“Fuck you,” she snaps at the lead. She can’t help but wonder where the hell she is now. Is she in limbo? Is this one of the infinite Marvel Universes? Is she in the world that she thought was home but really wasn’t?

“Welcome back.” Chase jumps when she sees the face of a young girl hovering over her smiling. The fuck….

“Where am I?”

“In a medical bay,” the girl answers and looks around like she’s checking to be sure. Then she smiles. She’s got to be just a kid. 

“Liste here, smartass…”

This makes the girl laugh.

“Oh, I like you. You’re in Wakanda. My name is Shuri.”

“You’re joking.”

“You’ve heard of us?”

“I’d like some cyanide now, please.”

“That’s not funny.”

“It wasn’t meant to be,” Chase says dryly. 

“I think before you decide to commit ritualistic suicide you may want to talk to your brother first,” Shuri says and smiles widely. Chase blinks a few times. Brother? Brother. 

“Tony?”

“Mhmm. He’s paced a hole in our floor out there. I’d like to think if something happened to me T’Challa would be that worried,” she jokes. Chase tries to sit up, but can’t. Her body burns. 

“I wouldn’t do that just yet.” Shuri looks over at Dr. Strange. “You took on a lot of cosmic energy and the fact you survived is nothing short of a miracle.”

“That explains the feeling of being set on fire with thermite,” she mumbles. Shuri laughs.

“I do like her.”

“I’ll go get Tony. He’s been impatiently waiting to see you,” Strange says and walks off. 

“Walked a hole in the floor, huh?” Chase asks Shuri. 

“He should at least pay to get a nice carpet for over that hole,” she replies. Chase can’t help but smile. Shuri’s got some wit to her. Nice to see she’s not the only smartass in the world. 

“Chase?”

She recognizes Tony’s voice, even through the raw emotion coming through.

“Tony.”

“Jesus Christ,” he whimpers. “I thought I’d lost you for good,” he says taking her hand in his. 

“This has been the most fucked up shit…”

“I can imagine,” he says laughing softly. “You’ve been sorely missed, little sister.”


	67. Bucky, Rogers The Goat, and Steve

Steve and Bucky are walking outside. Bucky is showing Steve where he’s been living and what he’s been doing. 

“I named one of the goddamn goats after you.”

“Why is it a goddamn goat?” Steve asks. Bucky can see he’s trying not to smirk.

“Because it’s a fucking belligerent shithead.”

“You are the belligerent shithead, Buck. Not me,” Steve laughs. Bucky nods. 

“Wait till you meet the shithead.”

They walk a little further and Bucky can hear Rogers bleating at the top of his little goat lungs. It sounds like he’s screaming. Which also means he’s tried to jump the fence and is probably stuck. Again. 

“What the hell is that noise?” Steve demands. They come up on the goat pen and sure enough there’s Rogers stuck in the goddamn fence screaming his head off.

“That’s Rogers,” Bucky says pointing to the goat. Steve glares at him and Bucky just laughs and laughs as he goes to free the shithead goat. As soon as he does he gets thanked by getting headbutted in the stomach and then the goat goes after Steve. 

“Jesus Christ! What the hell does it want?” Steve yells trying to wrangle the goat by the horns. Bucky is laughing so hard now he can’t talk and he’s holding onto his sides.

“Goddammit, Buck! Help me!”

Bucky forces himself up and helps Steve wrestle the goat and get it back to the pen. 

“I haven’t laughed that hard in forever,” Bucky says still chuckling now and then.

“I’m glad you found that amusing, you jerk.”

“Shit, Steve, it was funny as hell,” Bucky says and laughs again.

“Right. You’re an asshole,” Steve tells him, and then starts laughing, too. 

“Yeah.”

“Come back with us, Buck. We need you.”

“There it is.”

“Buck -”

“I knew you’d ask eventually, Steve. I’m surprised it took this long. What’s Stark going to say about that?”

“I’ll deal with him. You’ve been out of the world for a time. Come back and live for a while.”

Bucky nods.

“They don’t trust me.”

“They don’t have to. I trust you, that’s all they need worry about.”

“That’s not how that works, Steve -”

“It is how it works. Natasha trusts you. I trust you. The others will deal with it.”

Steve isn’t going to take no for an answer no matter what Bucky comes up with. Truthfully, Bucky misses New York. He misses everything about it. Wakanda is fantastic and their technology is something stunning to behold, but it isn’t New York. It isn’t home. 

“Buck?”

He realizes Steve’s been yammering this whole time and he’d tuned him out.

“I’ll come back.”

“It’d be good for you - wait, what?”

“I said I’ll come back,” Bucky repeats and then smiles. 

“Good! Good,” Steve says patting him on the back. 

Bucky can see Steve is elated to hear this. Steve misses him. He wants the old Bucky back. Bucky doesn’t know about that, but for Steve, for the man who risked everything for him he’ll damn sure try. 

They head back inside and Okoye greets them.

“She’s awake. Shuri wants to keep her.”

“Why?” Bucky asks with a laugh. 

“Apparently the girl has as smart of a tongue as Shuri does,” Okoye says and smiles. 

“I’m sure T’Challa will be glad to be rid of her then,” Bucky laughs. Steve is a little confused. 

“Perhaps. Come, let us go see our visitor.”

 


	68. Chase and Shuri Have A Laugh

Chase was finally aloud to sit up. Her body still burns, but now instead of feeling like she’s being burned at the stake, it just feels like a really intense sunburn. Everywhere. Including areas that should never see the sun. 

Tony is sitting in a chair provided by Shuri next to her, periodically taking her hand and squeezing it like he’s making sure she’s real. 

“I let the lease go on your place. I didn’t have a choice...I mean I did, but…” he says shrugging. 

“My place? I thought you owned the building.”

“I own the tower, you lived in Greenwich Village, remember?”

She thinks about this for a few moments. She vaguely remembers a place, an apartment from some distant dream she had, but she can’t focus on it.

“Don’t worry about it. What do you remember? Anything?”

Chase sees movement around the door to the medical bay. She sees Shuri and then Steve and then a very worn looking Bucky. Buck looks like absolute hell.

“Tony?” Steve calls. She sees Tony roll his eyes and then grin. He did it for show. She smiles.

“Rogers.”

Steve approaches cautiously. 

“Hi, Chase. How are you feeling?” Steve asks. He smiles warmly. 

“Like I’ve been out in the sun too long.” 

“Strange says it’s all that cosmic energy mumbo jumbo that’s causing that and it’ll fade,” Tony tells him. 

“Thank you for getting Shuri to help bring me home, Steve. Tony told me what you did. Thank you,” she says reaching for his hand. He takes it, albeit gingerly, and smiles. 

“He’s missed you. We all have,” Steve says.

“I missed you. They just noticed you were gone,” Tony says being a smartass. Steve shakes his head and ignores Tony’s antics. 

“Either way, thank you.”

“It was worth it, Chase. Tony, can I speak to you for a moment?”

“Sure, why not,” Tony grumbles getting up from the chair. “Don’t run off. Tracking you down is a goddamn nightmare.”

“Aye aye, sir.”

She watches Tony and Steve walk just out of hearing range. She’s got a sneaking suspicion she knows what this is about. She sees Shuri walk past the two men, look at them comically and continue towards her.

“How are you feeling now?”

“Sunburned.”

“Some sun would do you good. You’re pasty white.”

“Do you talk like this to everyone or just me?”

“Everyone,” Shuri laughs. “Especially my brother. But he deserves it the most. Somebody has to keep him grounded.”

Chase laughs. This girl’s going places. Smart and a take no prisoner attitude. 

“Aside from needing more Vitamin D, how do you feel?”

“Confused.”

“That’s the one thing I can’t help with,” she says looking defeated now. “Not with you and not with Bucky,” she finishes looking out the window to the hall. Chase follows her line of sight and sees Bucky watching them. He smiles nervously and looks away. 

“I don’t remember seeing him like this in any of the other realities…”

“He’s a broken man. HYDRA hurt him more than he lets on. He deals with his anguish alone, tries to hide his pain, but you can still see it.”

“How’d someone so young get so wise?” she asks watching Bucky disappear from their line of sight. 

“I was born this good,” Shuri answers proudly. Chase snorts. 

“I feel like I’ve been missing out with you, Shuri. You’re a fucking spitfire. I love it.”

Shuri laughs and looks pleased. 

“Thank you. I hear you’re the same way.”

  
  



	69. Tony Says Thank You and Steve Asks A Major Favor

“Steve, before you say anything...thank you. Thank you for helping bring Chase home.”

Tony isn’t one for saying please or thank you, but this he feels is necessary and deserved. Steve looks shocked. 

“I thought about what you said, Tony. If it were Buck...and you were right. And I had to do something.”

“I’m glad you did,” Tony says looking back at Chase who is laughing with Shuri now. 

“She’s home, let’s keep her here,” Steve says and smiles.

“I’m guessing you didn’t want to talk to me just to coerce me into thanking you, right?”

“It’s about Bucky.”

Tony nods his head. Hearing Barnes name mentioned so casually, even after what Steve has done for Tony, still makes his blood boil. 

“What do you need? Or what does he need?”

“I want him to come back to New York, but -”

“He’s got no place to go and the tower is where you reside, so why not him. Right?”

“Perceptive as always,” Steve says getting defensive. Tony owes Steve, but the flip side of that is that Steve owes Tony just as much. He kept that secret from Tony, knowing Barnes killed his parents. Steve still maintains that it was to protect them both. Tony still thinks that’s a bunch of shit. But, Steve came through in a grand way for him today. Chase wouldn’t have been able to get back without the help of Shuri’s equipment and Strange’s voodoo. Steve pulled the strings he had to make it happen and Chase is home. His sister is home. 

“He’s stable?”

“Yes. PTSD issues, but Shuri took care of whatever HYDRA put in him. He’s only a threat to himself now.”

“That’s not disconcerting in the least,” Tony says slightly appalled. 

“He’s alright. He can’t stay here forever and he misses New York.”

“And the BFFs miss each other. I get it. Stop, you’re nauseating me,” Tony says waving away any further explanations from Steve. He knew as soon as Steve said it was about Barnes what the question would be and he knew he would give Steve what he asked for. Not without giving him shit, of course, but still. 

“I wanted to clear it with you first.”

“I appreciate that. I’d hate to run into him in the hall not knowing he’s moved in. But, I owe you. And a simple thank you doesn’t seem like it will suffice here, Steve. I trust you to keep him in check. He’s your responsibility. He goes haywire -”

“He won’t. And if he does, I will handle it,” Steve assures him.

“Bring him back. There’s an empty apartment not far from yours. He can have that one if he likes.”

“Thank you, Tony,” Steve says. Tony can see he’s moved that this wasn’t a fight and that Tony is so willing to give him what he’s asking for. 

“I haven’t forgotten, Steve. And I will tell Chase what happened. How she deals with that information from that point forward will be her decision,” Tony advises him. Steve considers this. 

“She doesn’t know him. He’ll avoid her, just like he does practically everyone now. There won’t be an issue.”

“Then you’re good, Steve. We’re good. I think....you and I are finally even.”

“Clean slate?”

“Till the next time,” Tony jests. Steve smiles and smacks Tony on the arm. 

“Thanks, Tony.”

“Yeah. Get going. I’ve got to get her ready to go home.”


	70. Going Home

Bucky sits on the QuinJet quietly. Natasha had chosen to go back via portal with Strange, Tony and the girl. Steve calls her Chase. He’s not sure if that’s her real name or the nickname they’ve given her because they’ve been looking for this dame for over a year. She’s quite the accomplished traveler according to what he could get from Shuri. Four different dimensions including her own. And she’s Stark’s half sister. From his mother. If Steve had told him Howard had fathered her, Bucky wouldn’t have batted an eye. He’s actually about 85% positive that Stark’s got other half siblings around the world courtesy of his dear old dad. But to hear it was his mother...Tony reveers the woman as a saint. Even the holy backslide he guesses. 

She and Shuri had seen him satiating his curiosity over the dame when Steve went to talk to Tony. He’d been watching Chase and Shuri talk and giggle when the conversation turned serious, based on their faces, and Shuri happened to look out the window and saw him. Chase looked out the window, too, and seemed...what? Surprised? No. Maybe confused, she’s been through a lot. She doesn’t know him. Probably never heard of him, save for the occasional curse Tony placed on him. Steve said he’d never really seen much of her, between Tony and Pepper lavishing her with gifts and things and then Steve running on missions almost nonstop during that time. Steve had met her, they were acquainted with each other but that was pretty much the extent of it. Tony will keep her under lock and key like a goddamn fairytale princess. 

Which brings him to Tony. Steve had somehow cleared it with Stark to get him an apartment in the tower not far from Steve. He was fully expecting to stay in a hotel until he could get a place of his own. How he’d afford it is another story. Rent in New York is about 900 times higher now than it was when he was younger. Hell, he paid only about $35 a month in rent when he lived there, before the war, before he got shipped out, before…

He looks down at his left hand. The coat he’s wearing covers his arm and the glove covers his hand. Only someone with intimate knowledge of Bucky would know what’s under the coat and glove. He flexes his fingers, makes a fist and bites his lip. 

Last time he spoke with Steve was when Steve pulled him from Tony’s clutches and brought him to Wakanda. Steve had just started seeing Sharon. Pretty little blonde with a kickass attitude. She kicked Buck’s ass at the compound. Tried to. He still cringes when he thinks about the nut shot she got on him. His legs close and tighten instinctively at this thought. And yet Steve managed to convince her that Bucky was a good guy who caught the really, really shitty end of the deal. She’d helped them out. He’s reminded just how deep his loneliness goes. He’s not dared look at a dame like that much less approach one since the war. What would they think of him? Of his litany of issues? Of the nightmares? Waking up from a nightmare and having to run to the bathroom or end up puking on the floor because his dreams are nothing but vivid memories of his past. Crying in his sleep and waking up still crying and not being able to stop. What dame in her right goddamn mind would want to deal with that? Then there’s his physical appearance. The scars and the metal that have replaced his left arm and shoulder. It’s not even a goddamn prosthetic, it’s a fucking weapon. Steve says he’s a survivor. Bucky knows he’s a goddamn monster. 

He sighs heavily. 

“Buck?”

“Steve.”

“You good, man?”

“Yeah. Still seeing Sharon?”

“Yeah….about that…”


	71. Welcome Home, Chase

Chase steps through the portal with Tony, Natasha and Strange. She’d said her goodbyes to T’Challa and thanked Shuri endlessly. Shuri made her promise to keep in touch, saying she needs someone who understands sarcasm as an artform. Chase had agreed. She likes Shuri. She’s a good kid. 

“Chase?  _ Chase _ !” She’d know Pepper’s voice anywhere. Pepper all but pounces on her hugging her tightly and then crying before hugging her some more. Chase is more than a little lost at this point and looks to Tony for some help.

“She missed you, too, kiddo -”

“Don’t do that. Don’t call me that,” Chase says, the nickname making her cringe. Two other Tony’s had called her that, one had thrown her to the wolves, one had tried to save her, she doesn’t want to know what will happen this time. She can’t seem to remember anything before her time in the psych ward. The Infinity Gauntlet had shown her a glimpse into her past, enough to know she was put up for adoption by Tony’s mother, but anything after that is gone. The next thing she remembers are hazy things about the psych ward, lots of screaming and crying, pills...then it’s just life after that till the lightning strike. It’s like she wasn’t around for a good chunk of her life. 

“Chase?”

“Sorry, what?” she says coming back to reality.

“Are you okay?” Tony asks worriedly. Strange is monitoring her. He holds his finger up in front of her face.

“Follow it. Don’t move your head, just your eyes.”

“Why?”

“Just checking to see if there’s any sluggishness,” he answers when Chase seemingly passes his test. “How is your head?”

“I feel like my brain was microwaved into burnt popcorn.”

“Very descriptive,” Natasha says and grins. Who is this Natasha she wonders.

“You’re damned lucky, Chase. The Infinity Stones don’t yield to just anyone’s bidding, much less a mortal female. You are something to marvel at and study,” Strange says matter of factly. 

“I don’t think so,” Tony says stepping in. “She’s been through enough, she doesn’t need to be dissected.”

“I wasn’t going to cut her open, Stark,” Strange retorts.

“Tell you what,” Chase says before Tony can smartmouth Strange any further, “when I drop dead I’ll donate my body to you and you can study and research till your heart’s content.”

“That’s disturbing on so many levels,” Natasha states. 

“It is,” Pepper agrees.

“What the hell is wrong with you two?” Tony asks. “And you, he’s not the goddamn organ donor center.”

“Enough, all of you,” Strange grumbles. “I wasn’t referring to dissection or cadavers. I was thinking more along the mystical lines to see what the stones may have done to her.”

“Baked me alive in my own skin from the way I feel, but we can discuss what you’re looking for later. I just want to take a shower, relax and drink myself to sleep.”

“Also very healthy,” Strange mutters. “I do expect to see you, Chase. I’ll let Wong know you’re welcome whenever you feel like stopping by,” he says opening a portal and vanishing. 

“I’m going to go find Clint and see what he’s doing. Welcome home, Chase,” Natasha says and smiles. She nods to Tony and Pepper and strolls off. 

“She’s seeing Clint?”

“No. They’re bosom buddies. Think Rogers and Barnes if they were moderately sane and one of them had tits,” Tony explains. 

“Tony,” Pepper groans. “Why?”

“Best explanation I can come up with. You don’t remember them, Chase?”

“No. There seems to be a big chunk of things missing with only blurs or fragments of memories floating around. Then there’s memories from two other universes with you all that’s cluttered up my brain pan and it’s just a fucking shit show in my head right now.”

“What do you remember?” Pepper asks gently. 

“I don’t know, Pepp. I don’t know what belongs where right now.”

Tony and Pepper exchange worried glances. 

“Do you remember who I am?” Tony asks. She can hear the emotion in his voice. 

“You’re my brother. Half brother. That is the only clear goddamn thing right now, Tony. Marie was our mother. But that’s where the clarity ends. I don’t remember anything else. It’s there, but it’s like it’s buried under everything else.”

“We can sort that out later,” Pepper says softly. “For now, you’re here and that’s what matters.”

“I want you to stay here in the penthouse -”

“Nope,” Chase cuts him off. “Not gonna happen, Tony. If one thing holds true for all of the Tony’s I’ve come across it’s that I don’t want to hear you chasing her around all night.”


	72. Home In New York

Bucky is sitting in Steve’s apartment looking around. He’s waiting on Steve to get back with the keycode to his new apartment. He’s nervous being back in New York after all this time. He’s nervous about dealing with the other members of the Avengers after all that’s taken place. He’s nervous about coming across Tony, even though Steve has told him things will be fine. Most of all he’s nervous he’ll let Steve down somehow. He wants Steve to be proud of him, because Steve’s all Bucky has left. 

Bucky’s stomach hurts and he feels sick. He knows it’s just his nerves, but he wishes it would stop. 

Steve finally walks through the door.

“You look like you’re going to puke,” Steve says before he’s even inside the apartment.

“Yeah, I feel like it.”

“Are you sick?”

“Nerves.”

“Buck, calm down. Things will work out. It won’t be smooth sailing right away probably, but things will work out. Trust me. Besides, you don’t have to worry about that goddamn goat now.”

Bucky laughs. He’d gifted the goat to some of the kids who would come help him now and then. They loved chasing Rogers around and that was the only time that goddamn goat was sociable. 

“This is true, I guess.”

“Come on. I’ve got the keycode. It’s about three doors down from here, so if you need anything I’ll be close.”

“What the hell am I going to need from you?” Bucky asks trying to make light of that. 

“Who the hell knows with you,” Steve replies and laughs. He leads Bucky out of the apartment and down the hall. Steve punches in the keycode and hands Bucky the paper with the instructions on how to change the keycode. Steve and Bucky step inside and Bucky’s not the least bit surprised to see that it’s exactly like Steve’s place. The same all black leather couch and recliner, the same cheap, black, plastic coffee table and lamps. The same horrible decor throughout. Lovely. He reminds himself it’s a place to live and it’s already furnished and he’s broke. He’s not sure how the hell he’s going to eat. 

“He’s got them all furnished the same way. Nothing changes. Natasha actually bought all new furniture because she couldn’t stand how it looked.”

“Bet that cost a pretty penny.”

“Wasn’t cheap, she’s got high end tastes,” Steve laughs. 

“Steve...fucking shit…”

“Here,” Steve says handing Bucky a wad of cash. “Till we get you on payroll.”

Bucky blinks a few times, completely lost as to what the hell Steve is talking about. 

“I can’t take this,” he says shoving the money back at Steve. 

“Buck, take it. How the hell are you going to eat?” Steve asks pushing the money back at him.

“I can’t -”

“Fine. I’ll go to the goddamn store and get all the foods I know you can’t stand and that’s what you’ll be forced to eat or you’ll starve.”

Bucky isn’t amused. Steve’s done enough, he’s making Bucky feel like a goddamn beggar now.

“Buck, it’s a loan. Pay me back when you get the money. Maria Hill will be contacting you shortly. You’ll get put on payroll, they’ll set you up with a card and that will be that. This is how it works here,” Steve explains gently. “It’s just a loan,” he says again, pushing the money at Bucky. 

Bucky takes it reluctantly.

“Just a loan. No bullshit when I pay you back, right?”

“No bullshit. Just make sure you take care of yourself. Make sure you eat. Get some more clothes. If you need anything, if something happens…”

“I’ll find you. You’re all I’ve got, kid. Thanks for this,” Bucky says struggling to keep his composure. Steve hugs him tightly, slapping him on the back a few times for good measure.

“You’ll be alright, Buck. Get your shit put away, go to the store. If you feel like having a beer later let me know. Here,” he says handing Bucky a phone, “my number, Nat and Clint are already programmed in.”

Bucky doesn’t speak, he only nods. He knows if he opens his mouth he’s going to lose his shit and break down and he doesn’t want Steve to have to witness that.

Steve slaps him on the shoulder, nods once and then leaves. Bucky’s now alone in his new digs. He looks at the wad of cash and the first of the tears start to flow. He’s not just nervous, he’s fucking terrified.


	73. Tony Convinces Chase To Stay in The Tower

“I don’t want you back in Greenwich, that’s too far away. If something happens I won’t get to you in time. There’s apartments here in the tower -”

“No,” Chase says firmly. “No more bullshit with this goddamn ivory tower of your, Tony.”

“What bullshit, Chase? What the fuck happened? I don’t understand,” Tony argues. Pepper is watching the two of them argue like it’s a tennis match. 

“I’ve been through this shit twice before, I don’t want to live in these apartments, dumb shit happens and I end up someplace I clearly should not be.”

“But, that’s not going to happen now. Strange said that the original dimensional jump whatever caused that was trying to correct it, but it just couldn’t get it right,” Tony explains. 

“Horseshit.”

“Oh my god,” he groans, planting his palms against his eyes. “You’re so fucking difficult.”

“Thank you.”

“It wasn’t a compliment, Chase.”

“Tony, there’s so much shit that’s happened and I don’t want to repeat any of it. Ever. I’m still trying to figure out what the fuck is going on.”

“Chase,” Pepper says gently, “can you try and tell us what happened? Maybe we can figure out where to go if we know what you went through.”

Tony points at Pepper and nods vehemently.

“See? She’s right. I know you went through some shit, Chase, but you you’ve got to talk to me.”

“Tony, what do you want me to do?”

“Talk to me.”

“It won’t make sense. None of it will make sense.”

“Try me. Tell me what happened and then we can discuss where we can get you set up permanently.”

Chase sighs, gets up and starts pacing. 

“Tony, I don’t remember anything prior to…”

“Tell us what you do remember, Chase,” Pepper says.

“I remember having a job, shitty as it was, doing cyber security for a shady company in Pennsylvania. I had a tiny apartment with shitty furniture and a new car with a ridiculous car payment. My ex fiancee was in jail after beating up a cop for violating the restraining order. I was on my way home one night and the car got struck by lightning,”

Tony is pouring two drinks. He hands Chase one.

“Keep going,”  he says gently. Chase downs half the drink and Tony takes the glass and refills it. 

“I woke up in Avengers Tower and proceeded to flip shit when I say you and Cap and Rhodey -”

“Why?” Tony asks perplexed.

“Because the world I was ripped from none of you are real. Comics, movies, TV shows...all of it the  figment of some old man’s imagination. And I wasn’t prepared for what I saw.”

“You didn’t remember anything of me, of this?” Tony says motioning around himself. 

“No, Tony. I saw a glimpse of things when I put on the Gauntlet. Some of what I saw had to do with a psych ward after I was pulled from this world…”

“Oh god, Chase,” Tony whimpers. “What did they do to you?”

“Pills, counseling, I have a vague recollection of the smell of burnt skin and hair -”

“They gave you electroshock therapy,” Pepper whispers.

“Jesus Christ...they electrocuted your brain!” Tony gasps. Chase shrugs.

“If you say so. I don’t know, I don’t remember, Tony. What I do remember is bonding with that Tony and Steve and….” she trails off. Does she tell Tony everything? About dating both Steve and Bucky? About how she and that world’s Tony fought over her dating Bucky? Does she tell him about Loki planting misinformation into Strange’s brain about Chase being a global threat and they sent her back without so much as a second thought? Does she tell him about the lumber truck crashing into her and nearly killing her and sending her to yet another dimension? That once again she was fucking both Bucky and Steve and this time they dumped her so they could just fuck each other? Does she tell him all of it, some of it or none of it?

“Chase?”

“Shit went down in that world, Tony. Things I don’t want to go over or think about. Just know that you and a few others saw the need to send me back where I came from like they were returning a defective toy. I went back, tried to go back to what I thought was my normal life and for about a month I’d succeeded,” she says putting the now empty glass down. She’s wringing her hands. Talking about this, thinking about what they did to her, how both Steve and James did her absolutely wrong in not one, but two worlds. 

“Here,” Tony says trying to hand her another drink. She takes it and downs the contents entirely. 

“Slow down, kid-sorry, Chase,” Tony says catching himself before he calls her kiddo again. 

“I made damn sure not to take that same road I was struck by lightning on. I got rid of anything that remotely reminded me of that world. Of you and the others. And then one night, fate decided to fuck with me and I got hit head on by a rogue lumber truck.”

“Head on? How the hell did you survive?” Pepper demands, aghast.

“I got pushed into the next universe, dimension, shit show whatever you want to call it. I got burned again, although if I’m being honest I wasn’t surprised or hurt. I just felt misplaced. It started shortly after I arrived and by the end I just knew. I just knew. Putting on the Infinity Gauntlet confirmed my feelings.”

“You’re home now,” Pepper says softly. “You’re home where you belong.”

“For how long, Pepper? I feel like that dude from Quantum Leap. Like it’s never going to fucking stop.”

“You and Peter and the pop culture references are going to be the death of me,” Tony grumbles. “Strange said that you weren’t supposed to be in any of those dimensions and whatever powers are out there were trying and failing to correct that mistake and somehow making it worse instead of better. Between you, Strange and Shuri with her cold fusion generator we managed to get you home. Here. Where you belong. I would like to think that you’ve been bounced around enough that whatever was causing that has tired of that fucking nonsense and will leave you alone now.”

“Maybe. Maybe not,” Chase says and sits down. Her heart hurts. Twice she’s been in a relationship with Bucky and Steve, too, to some extent. Twice she’s been burned by them. The first time being the worst. The first time all three of them hurt her and she was stupid enough to forgive them the second time and look what happened. And now she’s here. If it weren’t for the Infinity Gauntlet showing her what it did she would be convinced this is  yet another dimension she doesn’t belong in. 

“Chase, I want you to stay in the tower. I want to know that if you need anything that I’m only a few floors away. And if I’m not here than you’ve got the other Avengers here to help you.”

“They have better things to deal with than me, Tony. I shouldn’t be their concern. I shouldn’t even be yours. Marie put me up for adoption, I’m sure she had her reasons.”

“Yeah, because Howard would have flipped the hell out if he found out she’d had an affair. She didn’t have a choice. I did when I found the paperwork. I looked for you. You are my sister, my flesh and blood and I’m not walking away from that or from you.”

“Stop,” Chase says fighting back the tears. “Just stop. I don’t even know if this is real. I could be dead and this is heaven or hell or limbo or I’m comatose or any number of things. I saw glimpses of things with the Gauntlet, that doesn’t mean that what’s happening now is real or right.”

“Goddammit, Chase!” Tony yells. “This is real! Everything you see is real! This is where you belong, Chase. This is home. Regardless of what you and I are kin wise, this is your home world.”

Chase rubs her eyes and sits quietly. 

“Please stay in the apartments, Chase,” Pepper implores. 

You could hear a pin drop in the room now. There’s so much running through Chase’s mind right now she can’t think clearly. Tony sits down in a chair across from Chase and looks at her. 

“Listen, Chase, I know this is all a lot to take in. Actually, I don’t,” he admits, “but what I do know is that you’re home. Will you humor me, just for a little while, and stay in one of the apartments? We’ll work on getting you settled in again, if you want to find another job we can do that later on, too. For now, till you’re comfortable again, stay here.”

She can’t argue his logic. She has nothing here. Again. At least that she’s aware of. Tony may have salvaged some things, but that is yet to be determined. He wants to keep her in his sights, keep tabs on her. They all went through hell to get her to this point. 

“Alright,” she agrees finally. “I don’t have much choice in the matter, regardless.”

“You do, Chase. If you really do not want to stay here I will make sure we get you a suitable place -”

“No, Tony, no,” she says holding up her hand to stop him. “I get where you’re coming from. And I appreciate it.”

Tony smiles, overly pleased that she’s agreed to stay in the apartments. 

“Come on. We’re going shopping,” Tony announces as he stands up. “You need clothes and you’ll want stuff to put in your new digs.”

  
  



	74. Bucky Goes Shopping And Regrets It

Bucky walks down the street, hands stuffed deep in his pockets and his head down facing the oncoming winds that are whipping around the buildings. He’s got the money Steve forced on him and he’s doing what Steve suggested, getting out and going shopping. He hates shopping. 

He lifts his head to try and gage how far he is from the store he’s looking for. The wind bites and stings his cheeks and nose, making his eyes water. He’s got another block to go it looks like. People push past him, no one giving him second thought. His ears are freezing. The long hair doesn’t do shit if the wind is trying to blow it off his head. 

He puts his head down and walks on, opening and closing his left hand in his coat pocket. The Vibranium seems to attract the cold and intensify it. He can feel it biting into his shoulder and chest even through his layers. 

He finally gets to his destination and steps inside. The store is warm and thankfully he’s out of the biting wind. 

“Something I can help you find, sir?” the young girl with an atrocious amount of makeup on asks him. He smiles and shakes his head no. He knows what he came for and he doesn’t want someone following him around while he gets his goddamn underwear. 

He takes his time walking up and down the aisles till he finds what he’s looking for. He wants all black. This colored shit is ridiculous. Oh good, it comes in camo now, too. Why? Who plans on laying nearly naked in the woods hoping no one spots their family jewels? Bucky finally finds a pack of all black boxer briefs in his size. At least he thinks they’re his size, he’s not even sure any more. He grabs some undershirts and socks and moves on. He could stand to use a few more jeans maybe, but again, he doesn’t know his size for certain. He hasn’t bought clothes in so long. 

He meanders around a little longer and catches the overly makeupped girl following him.

“Sure you’re finding everything okay?”

“Yeah. I’m good,” he says clutching the things he’s picked up a little closer. She makes him uneasy. 

“Okay, if you need anything, yell.”

“Okay,” he mumbles looking away from her. He feels the need to leave the store quickly. He’s self conscious now, whether she had meant to do that intentionally or not, doesn’t matter. He needs to leave. He goes to the front where she’s waiting, doesn’t make eye contact, pays for his things and leaves in haste. Once outside the biting winds are a welcomed relief against the heat on his face. 

He debates on calling it a day and going back to the tower, but he needs food. There’s nothing in that refrigerator in the apartment and Bucky is famished. He ducks into a little coffee shop and pulls out the phone Steve gave him. Thank god for smartphones. He does a quick search for grocers, locates one nearby and plots his course. Hopefully this time no one will follow him around and make him uncomfortable. 

He steps back outside into the cold and the throngs of people crazy enough to tolerate New York’s winter weather and heads to the grocer. It’s a block and a half away. He walks quickly, just wanting to get back out of the cold again. He gets to the grocer and steps inside. It’s not one of those chain ones, this one’s just a mom and pop shop. He grabs a basket and gets to work grabbing what he thinks he may need : bread, milk, eggs, cheese, bacon. He stops and looks at the frying pans. Are there cooking utensils at the apartment? He forgot to look before he left. He decides to play it safe and grabs a frying pan, a small pot, and a box of metal silverware, placing them carefully in the basket. He grabs some other necessities, toilet paper, paper towels, a couple of mugs, heads to the checkout and pays for his things. They guy at the counter doesn’t even notice him. Bucky could have three heads and eight eyes and this guy wouldn’t have bothered to look up. He doesn’t mind, it’s much better than being stalked through a store. 

He heads outside and back to the tower. He stops, realizes he forgot soap of every kind, turns around and goes back for it, cursing himself as he does. 

By the time he’s done and back at the tower he can feel the onset of a panic attack setting in. Going back into the store had been a mistake. Sometime between when he walked out and walked back in a dame had gone into the store. He’d accidentally bumped into her looking up at the aisle markers and not paying attention. 

“You got some nerve there, beefy,” she’d snapped. When he looked at her and tried to apologize she’d gotten in his face forcing him back into a display.

“I-I’m sorry, ma’am,” he stammered.

“You’re gonna be, beefy. You watch your ass. One yell and they’ll haul your hippie ass downtown for assault and rape.”

This had the desired effect, scaring the living hell out of Bucky and forcing him to grab whatever he could find and run out of the store as soon as he’d dropped the money on the counter.

Now back in the confines of the tower and his apartment he’s trying to calm himself down. He just throws anything cold he bought in the fridge and then goes back to the bedroom, curls up on the bed and tries in vain to calm down. He’s starting to wish he’d stayed in Wakanda.


	75. Pepper Isn't Taking Shit From The Siblings

Chase is in the limo with Pepper to her left right and Tony across from her, both of them talking about this and that. She’d stopped listening a while ago. Not out of boredom or rudeness, she just couldn’t stay focused. So many memories of her previous travels kept playing over and over again and it was hard for her to focus. She’s staring out the window of the limo when she sees Bucky all but running out of a grocery store and down the street. He looks like he’s terrified. When did he get back to New York? Better still, what the hell could have spooked him so badly that he’s running from it? 

“What are you looking at?” Tony asks leaning forward to see what she sees. He doesn’t see Bucky or if he does, he doesn’t acknowledge that fact.

“Nothing. Thought I saw someone I recognized,” Chase answers. She leaves it at that. 

“Anyone we know?” Pepper asks moving bags around. 

“I didn’t see anyone,” Tony answers. 

“Probably not,” Chase says. 

“So, the only thing left to get is a nice dress and then get you some groceries,” Pepper says after taking inventory.

“No dresses. You made me buy these goddamn dress up clothes, no dresses,” Chase states.

“Chase, there’s a party we’re having in a few weeks, it’s cocktail dress attire. You want to look presentable when you go,” Pepper explains. Chase diverts her attention from the limo’s window to looking directly at Pepper like she’s lost her goddamn mind. Tony is biting his lip trying not to laugh.

“No,” Chase says in a tone that reiterates the look on her face. Tony now has his hand over his mouth and his eyes are closed.

“You used to love dresses,” Pepper persists.

“There’s your key phrase, Pepp, ‘used to’. What the fuck do I want to run around in a horribly fitting piece of tapestry for?”

“A horribly fitting piece of tapestry,” Tony chokes and then laughs hysterically. 

“Tony, stop,” Pepper scolds. “Not all of them are ill fitting, Chase. We can find something that will fit you perfectly.”

“Negative, Ghostrider. I don’t want a dress and I damn sure don’t want to be forced into wearing it around a bunch of uppity a-holes at some hoity toity soiree you and Tony are having. Not my cup of tea.”

Tony is still laughing and Pepper shoots him a scathing look. 

“You used to like dresses and those parties.”

“Did I?” Chase is surprised to hear this. She’s only ever liked jeans and t-shirts that she can remember.

“Yes. Tony, stop laughing.”

“Sorry. Sorry.”

“Huh. Well, they’re not my thing now, Pepper.”

“Tony, say something instead of laughing.”

“Will you please humor Miss Potts and get a goddamn dress and consider going to this thing she’s making me have?”

“That I’m making you have? Really?” Pepper asks, the disapproval in her voice evident.

“She’s going to beat your ass, Tony,” Chase warns.

“No, I’ll just program one of the suits to do it for me,” she threatens. This has the desired effect as both Chase and Tony are looking at Pepper with their mouths on the floor of the limo. 

“So...where are we getting this goddamned dress, Pepp?” Chase asks. 


	76. Steve And Bucky Get Dinner

Steve looks at his phone again. Still nothing from Buck. What the hell. He wonders if he’s sleeping or stalking around New York getting his bearings again. He decides to call him and see what the hell is going on.

“Steve.”

“What happened?” He can tell just from the sound of Buck’s voice something is wrong.

“Nothing. Just not used to New York anymore I guess.”

“Buck.”

“Steve.”

“Let’s go grab something to eat. There’s a good diner in Midtown. They’ve got great burgers, cooked to order,” he says trying to coerce Bucky. He knows somethings wrong. Buck’s not going to tell him, so Steve’s got to find a way to either get him to open up or get Buck’s mind off of whatever it is that’s bothering him. 

“I’m not really hungry -”

“Bullshit. I’ll be over to get you in ten. Make sure you’re decent.”

“And if I’m not?”

“Don’t ruin my goddamn appetite, you shithead.”

Steve can hear Buck laughing softly.

“Yeah, fine,” he says and hangs up. Steve sets a timer for ten minutes. If he goes over any sooner, Buck will go into lock down. Any later, Buck will go into lock down. He’s learned that with all that Bucky’s gone through that his way of dealing with certain things is to have some form of control. Something he was denied for so long. It’s small things, being on time, doing the same things in the same order. If someone tells him they’ll meet him in a certain amount of time, Bucky expects that, he needs it. Shuri had told him that is his way of feeling he has control over his life again, at least to an extent. It kills Steve. Bucky wasn’t always like this, but a lot has changed for them both. 

The timer goes off and Steve grabs his coat and heads to get Bucky. He knocks on the door three times and waits. Bucky opens the door, already in his coat, both hands gloved. 

“Sure you don’t want to tell me what’s got your shorts in a twist, Buck?”

“Nothing,” Bucky says and shrugs. “The burgers are good, huh?”

“Best I’ve had in a long time,” he tells him. They head to the elevator and then outside to the cold air.

Steve hails a cab and they climb in. Bucky is nervous. He’s looking around at everything, opening and closing his hands. Steve knows he’s either at the beginning of a panic attack or at the end. He knows the signs, Shuri had warned him what to look for. 

“How’s the place working out for you?” Steve asks in hopes he can pull Bucky out of whatever quagmire he’s in.

“It’s alright. Not like I used to have, but it’s alright.”

“You’re not going to find anything like that shithole around here, Buck,” Steve laughs. 

“Yeah, but it was mine. Busted radiator and all,” Bucky says and smiles finally. 

“What did you pay in rent again? Something ridiculous like $100 a month?”

“Not even,” Bucky grins. “$35 a month. That just barely left money for food and the streetcar or bus.”

The cab pulls up at the diner, Steve pays the cabby and the boys get out.

“This is it?” Bucky asks looking around again. He’s still nervous. It’s like he’s waiting for something to happen, but he doesn’t know what.

“Yup. Come on,” Steve says guiding him inside. The atmosphere is warm and cozy. The smell of fries and coffee hang heavy in the air. Steve loves this place. It’s never really busy and the food is fantastic. 

The waitress, a young girl with bleached white hair and pink undertones, seats them at a both, drops menus, brings waters, smiles and vanishes. 

“She seems nice,” Bucky says sarcastically. 

“The hair gets me,” Steve admits. Both boys look over at her. She’s at the cash register gushing over a young man in a military uniform. If Steve had to guess he’d say Marines, but he’s not entirely sure.

“Some things never change,” Bucky muses. “Dames still go apeshit over a guy in uniform.”

“Pretty sure that’s the only way you got the dames back in the day,” Steve teases. Bucky looks over his menu at Steve menacingly. Steve smiles, Buck shakes his head, and Steve can hear him chuckle just slightly.

“Whatever, punk. You should be thanking me for snagging two at a time.”

“Oh, but I did -”

“You did not,” Bucky says plopping the menu down now. Steve’s grinning. Here we go. “All you did was run around trying to enlist under false pretenses.”

“Somebody had to do it.”

“Do what, Steve? Tell the Army they’re from fucking Paramus?”

Steve had just taken a sip of water when Buck says that and starts to choke a little.

“Serves you right, punk,” Buck mutters picking up the menu again. Steve’s still laughing. 

“Remember that girl Doris?” Steve asks. Bucky puts the menu down again and Steve sees he’s grinning a bit.

“Yeah. Pretty red lips, long legs…”

“You called her Dot. She was smitten with you, man. She’d have followed us all over Coney Island if you’d asked. Hell, she probably would have gone back to your apartment if you’d asked.”

Bucky’s  _ really _ grinning now.

“Never told you this, but she did.”

“You son of a bitch,” Steve says in awe. “What happened?”

He sees the color come up on Buck’s face, even with the beard and Steve knows what happened, but he’s going to make Buck tell him anyway because if he’s talking about this he’s not dwelling on whatever upset him earlier.

“She came back, we talked for a bit. She kept crossing and uncrossing those legs. She knew I was looking at her. I got her into my arms and kissed her. Next thing I know she’s on her knees in front of me…”

“You’re fucking kidding me,” Steve whispers, thoroughly shocked. 

“Can’t make this shit up, kid. I’m not the imaginative one like you are.”

“Was she any good?”

“First and only time I’ve ever had one, kid, wouldn’t know what to gage it on,” Buck admits sounding embarrassed.  “Not something the dames back then did or at least advertised.”

“Not like it is now. You can watch that shit on prime time TV,” Steve says. Another waitress comes to the table. This one is older, silver hair pulled up in a bun, heavy blue eyeshadow and red lips. She smiles warmly at them.

“What’ll it be, boys?”

“I’ll have a Coke and the Grindhouse burger, medium well,” Steve says handing her the menu. She jots this down and nods her head as she does.

“Same, but make mine medium rare,” Bucky says. 

“Got it. Anything else for you fellas while you wait?

“No thanks,” Steve answers politely. She nods her head, takes the menus and heads back to the kitchen.

“She gave you a blowjob. Jesus Christ,” Steve mutters, and then laughs. “You must have done a number on her, Buck.”

“All I did was smile and tell her she was the prettiest dame on Coney Island,” Buck laughs. “It was true, not like I was pulling her chain or anything. Jesus, Steve, her legs….they went on for miles.”

“Always figured you for a breast man.”

“Nothing wrong with a good set of tits.”

Steve laughs harder. This is more like the Bucky he remembers from old. The guy the dames couldn’t resist - obviously. 

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but she was a little small up top, wasn’t she?” Steve asks, continuing to egg Buck on.

“She made up for it with those legs and those lips. Holy fucking shit.”

Steve’s tempted to ask Buck when the last time he went out with a dame was, but he’s leary. He’s leary because this might bring Bucky back down into the pit he was in, especially if there hasn’t been anyone since the war. 

“You never told me what happened with Sharon.”

“She’s still around. We see each other occasionally.”

“But you’re not serious with her? This is like a casual thing with you?” Bucky asks. Steve can hear a mix of confusion and disappointment in Buck’s voice.  

“I have a criminal record, dating me isn’t good for her career advancement,” Steve explains.

“Gone are the days of stay at home wives raising the children,” Bucky muses. 

“They were gone when you got shipped out, Buck. Let’s be honest.”

“Meh.”

“She’s good at what she does. She wants to be director and oversee everything one day. She can’t do that if she’s screwing around with me.”

“You’re a national goddamn treasure, Steve. There’s a fucking museum geared toward you here in New York,” Bucky objects.

“Civilian versus military. She’s young and smart, Buck. I’m not going to deny her the chance to chase down what she wants.”

“I thought by now you’d have settled into family life, Steve. You should have. Chasing me around...you fucked yourself out of a good life…”

Steve can see he’s losing Buck again, and to hear that this is what Bucky wanted for him…

“I didn’t fuck myself out of anything. I did what I thought was right, what I still think is right. I’d still be doing this even if there was a dame and a pack of rugrats. Saving the world doesn’t stop because you have a family,” he says. He thinks of Clint and his family, hidden from SHIELD, tucked away in that farmhouse. 

“Maybe,” Buck mutters. “You need a good broad, kid. One who’ll kneel in front of you on the couch and blow your mind.”

“While blowing other things,” Steve jokes. Bucky grins and then laughs. 


	77. Two Different People

Tony and Chase carry the insanity from the shopping trip down the hall. 

“Any one of these are vacant. They’re all set up the same. We can look into ordering you furniture more towards your tastes, which, honestly seemed to have changed a good bit,” Tony says. Chase shakes her head. She just has to go with Tony being right about her tastes changing. Pepper had made mention of this, too.  She used to like dresses according to Pepper. Maybe, prior to everything else blowing up around her. 

“Chase.”

“Zoned out.”

“You do that a lot,” Tony says calling her out. 

“You and Pepper make me doubt I belong here,” she says and then regrets it. 

“What? Why?” Tony demands. She can hear how much this upset him to hear.

“I don’t like dresses. Apparently the version you knew of me did. That one liked parties. That one had finer tastes.”

“ _ That one _ as you call yourself is you. You’ve been through an epic amount of shit -”

“This one,” Chase says cutting him off and pointing to a random door. 

“Friday, code override, Stark, Tony 1045.”

“Very well, Mr. Stark,” Friday answers. Chase sees the lights on the numeric lock go green and hears the door unlock. Tony puts down a few of the bags to open the door for them and they step inside. To say this is much different than what she was expecting...at least it’s not the same. At least she doesn’t have to look at the same furniture again. That’s a blessing. 

“Chase, you’ve been through more than your fair share of bullshit recently. The psych ward thing...maybe that had something to do with it. You said so yourself, the Infinity Gauntlet showed you where you belong and it’s here.”

She can’t argue. Partly because he’s right, partly because she’s tired of going over this repeatedly and making herself and Tony feel like shit. 

“Chase, say something.”

“Something.”

“You’re witty repartee has definitely improved,” Tony remarks and then smiles. 

“At least something good came of it,” she jokes. 

“It’s an adjustment for all of us,” Tony says gently. “While you were running around Victoria’s Badly Kept Secret, I got something for you,” he says opening a bag and pulling out another bag. The Apple logo is prominently displayed. 

“Tony…”

“Fully loaded, already set up and charged. I ordered it when we got back and picked it up,” he says handing her the bag. Inside is a box with a MacBook inside. She opens the box and pulls the Mac out and places it on the horrific coffee table. When she lifts the screen to remove the screen protector she sees an all black card on the keyboard. She knows what it is.

“Get what you want, anything else you need. Put it on that card. My treat -”

“Stop. Don’t do this, Tony. Don’t...here,” she says handing him back the card. This insistence on being smothered with every material thing possible is upsetting. All three Tonys have done this now. It’s not something she wants, it’s not something she approves of. 

“Stop what? Chase, I’ve been buying you stuff since I found you and you never complained...shit. I’m sorry, kid-Chase,” he says backing down. “You’re not the same person anymore, but you are still my sister. You do belong here. I’ve got the ability to take care of you. The old you was totally on board with that,” he explains, clasping his hands between his knees. “Once you found out we were related...you took that card and went nuts. The apartment in Greenwich Village was furnished with the most expensive things you could find, and you made a point to find them,” Tony laughs. “It seemed like your mission was to try and bankrupt me.”

This horrifies Chase. 

“Why is that funny? Jesus Christ, Tony, I’m a fucking monster!”

“No you aren’t. You took what I gave you and you made the most of it. You made it like a challenge,” Tony says and smiles. He doesn’t get it, this person she was...was a materialistic whore. This isn’t her now. Or is it? Who is she really? 

“Oh my god,” Chase says covering her face with her hands. 

“What’s wrong? Chase, what’s wrong?” She hears his concern, feels his hands on her arms. 

“I don’t know who I’m supposed to be, Tony…”


	78. Bruce Offers An Explanation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I looked up some side effects of ECT and some mild symptoms of PTSD. What Chase is feeling here is what I've found online (not siting sources, my college days are long over).

Tony is at a loss what to do. Chase is crying damn near hysterically. She’s not the same person she was before she was bounced around the dimensions, but that realization must have just hit her like a ton of bricks. She said she doesn’t know who she’s supposed to be and Tony doesn’t know what to say to make this better.

“Chase, what’s wrong? What happened?” Tony begs her to answer. She looks at him through teary eyes and starts to cry more. He pulls out his phone and calls Pepper. 

“I can’t calm her down, Pepper. I don’t know what to do,” Tony says quickly. Chase is looking at her hands, which are shaking, and then goes back to crying. 

“I’ll be there shortly,” Pepper says and hangs up. Tony sits next to Chase and puts his arm around her, pulling her close and holding her. 

“I’m not this person you remember,” Chase sobs. “I’m not her. I don’t know who I’m supposed to be!”

Pepper walks in followed by Bruce. 

“What happened?” Bruce asks sitting on the coffee table in front of Tony and Chase. Pepper sits on the other side of Chase, takes her hand and strokes her hair while whispering it will be okay.

“I made the comment that she wasn’t like she was before, the shopaholic that tried to bankrupt me -”

“Tony, why?” Pepper asks tiredly. 

“She's not the same, Pepper. She looked at the credit card and gave it back,” Tony says defiantly. 

“I don’t want it!” Chase cries. “I don’t want to spend your money, Tony! I don’t want these gifts...what the fuck?”

“Easy, easy,” Bruce cooes. He pats her knee and grabs his medical bag. “I’m going to give you a valium to help calm you down a bit, okay?”

“I don’t want it, Bruce.”

“Chase, take it, it’ll help calm you a little and we can figure out what Tony did to upset you,” Pepper says softly.

“He didn’t do anything, Pepper. He just told me what his sister was like before she vanished,” Chase says wiping her eyes. 

“You  _ are _ my sister, Chase.”

“I don’t remember any of this!”

“Pepper says you were subjected to ECT, Chase. The side effects from that include memory loss. They use it when the patient doesn’t respond to traditional treatments. Pepper told me that you have a vague recollection of pills and burnt hair and skin. If it’s used incorrectly, the memory loss can be severe along with other side effects.”

“Like what?” Chase asks. Bruce puts the pill in her hand. Chase looks at it and dry swallows it. Pepper cringes, gets up and gets her a glass of water. 

“Like drastic changes to the patient’s personality,” Bruce says calmly. Chase wipes her eyes and looks at him like she’s dazed. 

“Chase?” Tony’s concerned there may be other damage to her that they aren’t aware of. She won’t go into detail about what she’s been through and god knows what’s happened to her. 

“I don’t remember this person Tony and Pepper remember,” Chase says slowly. “I don’t know who that person is.”

“Understandable. You’ve been through a lot. Most of it, from what I’ve gathered, traumatic. You’re exhibiting a few symptoms of PTSD. It’s going to take some time to adjust, Chase. You’re not going to get that in the next few days, weeks or maybe even months. Give it time. Tony’s missed you a great deal.”

Chase looks at Tony who can only offer her a smile. She leans against him and he cradles her. Whatever happened, whatever she’s been through, he’s going to stand by her and help her see it through. 


	79. Wonder If She's Feeling Alone?

Bucky and Steve are on the elevator back to their apartments. The doors open and they see Bruce who jumps back a little startled to see them both. 

“Hey, Bruce,” Steve says cordially. “This is James Barnes, buddy of mine from a long time ago,” Steve says making introductions. Bucky smiles uneasily.

"Bucky," he says quietly.

“Nice to meet you,” Bruce says extending his hand. Thankfully it’s his right hand he offers. 

“Pleasure,” Bucky says softly. 

“What’s going on?” Steve asks. Bruce scratches his head.

“Chase is upset. Having some issues dealing with what she’s gone through.”

“She’s been through quite a bit,” Steve agrees. “Is she alright?”

“She’s showing some signs of PTSD. She doesn’t remember anything about her time here with Tony or Pepper. She’s confused. Do me a favor, if either of you see her out and about and she looks disoriented, stay with her and call Tony or myself.”

“Sure. Will she be okay?” Steve asks rephrasing his original question.

“She needs time. She won’t be the person she was, but she’ll be alright, I think.”

Bruce steps on the elevator, waves as the doors shut and vanishes. 

“That poor kid,” Bucky mumbles. 

“Yeah.”

“Is that really her name?” Bucky asks suddenly. He’s been itching to find out.

“That’s what Tony says. That’s what I’ve called her, what he calls her, what Bruce calls her…”

“Just kind of thought it was a really bad nickname given the fact you’ve been trying to track her down for so long,” Bucky admits. Steve grins. 

“I don’t think so.”

“Neat name.”

“Did you get a chance to see her after she came through?” Steve asks as Bucky opens the door to his apartment.

“Yeah. Briefly. While you were chit chatting with Tony I looked into the medical bay where she and Shuri were giggling. She saw me. She looked…”

“What, Buck?” Steve says trying to coax him into finishing his thought. Bucky shakes his head and grins timidly.

“Thought she looked confused like she sort of recognized me, but she doesn’t know me, so that wasn’t it,” he says, making sure Steve sees that it isn’t a big deal.

“She recognized me. She was very, very friendly. Called me Steve, took my hand, thanked me profusely. Slightly different from the dame I’d met a few times before.”

“What was she like before?” Bucky asks, genuinely interested now. 

“I didn’t talk to her much before, Buck. There weren’t many interactions. She was always with Tony or Pepper and always shopping. The one time I do remember seeing her for any amount of time was during some party Tony had. She’d come in dressed to the nines looking like a million bucks. Guys flocking to her like crazy….” Steve trails off, the smile fading.

“Steve?”

“She treated them like shit, Buck. Like they weren’t worth the effort to speak to. I remember that now. Even Tony had a hard time reeling her in that night. 

“And this is the same broad?” 

“Strange says there’s only one version of her, that she’s the only Chase in all the dimensions.”

Bucky nods his head and sits down. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, bright and early 5am. We’re going running through Central Park,” Steve tells him. “Get some rest, Buck.”

Steve leaves and closes the door softly behind him. Bucky rubs his face. He’s not the only one who’s feeling lost on this floor. He’s not the only one feeling out of place. Instead of making him feel less alone it makes him feel worse. No one should feel like this. No one should feel this out of sorts and alone. He has Steve, this dame - Chase - she has Tony, but is that enough for either of them? 


	80. Chase Gets A Laugh From Tony

Chase wakes up the following morning and looks around not sure what the fuck to expect at this point. Is it Bucky’s room? Steve’s? Her old apartment, one of the three?

She sees the shitty black and chrome bedroom set and that does nothing to tell her where the bloody hell she is.

“Such bullshit,” she grumbles kicking the covers off of herself and getting out of the bed. She walks to the bathroom - blue tile.

“Fuck you.”

She walks to the living room. Black leather couch and recliner, plastic coffee table and retro 80s lamps. Okay, now we’re making progress. This is the most recent dimensional bullshit fuckfest jump. She sees the bags and bags of things Tony and Pepper got her yesterday. Most of it is clothes that she needs, but there’s a shit ton more of things that they both insisted they get her. Jewelry, gowns, cocktail dresses, shoes out the wazzoo, a fucking Macbook, a brand new Galaxy smartphone, three different winter coats, the menagerie goes on and on.

She sits on the couch and looks at the bags and wonders how pissed off Tony would be if she donated the majority of this shit and just kept what she absolutely needed. Then she remembers what he told her - the old version of herself made every effort to spend all of Tony’s money on frivolous shit. Like it was her mission to try and bankrupt the guy. Why? For what? And who is this shitbag of a person? She reminds herself that it’s her, that this was who she was before all this fucking craziness happened. She was clearly a fucking douchebag.

Bruce says there’s probably a very good reason she can’t remember any of this. The electroshock therapy fried her brain to the point she suffered memory loss and the damage was enough that it changed her personality. As far as she’s concerned that was the only goddamn benefit from it.

She looks at the bags and remembers the last two shopping sprees she’d been gifted from Tony. The two previous ones only regarded her as kin, she wasn’t actually related that any of them were aware of. The Tonys had made every effort to make her comfortable. But the first Tony threw her away like she meant nothing to him. The second Tony she fought side by side with, he was the only one out of the three men (not counting Peter) that truly cared about her. She wonders if he’s safe, if he survived, if he remembers her. She won’t forget him.  As for the other two...Bucky and Steve in both the other worlds had done her dirty. The first time it hurt the most, knowing that she loved them - _loved Bucky_ \- more than she’d ever loved someone in her life. That wound is still there, the pain still burns. The second round...the second time around she knew she didn’t belong there, but she let them convince that she was wrong, that she belonged. Deep down that feeling of being misplaced never left her. She went along with it, getting involved with Bucky and Steve again, letting them fuck her brains out till they decided they’d rather play house with each other and ship her to the four winds. Tony was more upset about that than she was, though.

And here they all are again. The four major players. Tony, who she knows is her half brother courtesy of the Infinity Gauntlet. Steve, or as she’ll address him from here on out _Captain Rogers_ , who from reports Shuri gave her before she left, sought out T’Challa and Shuri for help to get the portal open to bring her home. She had thanked Captain Rogers for helping bring her home and he’s seem overly surprised by this. Maybe it had something to do with her previous personality, maybe he didn’t think she could talk. She’d seen Sergeant Barnes, too. Just glances, but a glance was all it took to remind her what happened before. He’s smiled at Shuri while Chase was in medical. He looked nervous and worn down. And now he’s here in New York, which means Steve is here and if things play out as they have in the past all three of them are all on this goddamn floor together.  

Chase sighs. Her attempts the last time to avoid them failed epically. She knows sooner or later they’ll cross paths. She’ll address him formally as she does Captain Rogers.

And that leaves just her as the fourth player in this deranged play. A seemingly evolving character if she’s to believe what Bruce and Tony do about the psych ward’s treatment of her. She doesn’t remember what they did with any clarity. She doesn’t remember anything up until a few years ago. She’d never given her past any thought, like there was nothing there to consider or miss. She had her family and friends...but who were those people really? Who the hell was the guy claiming to be her brother? It sure as fuck wasn’t Tony. Looking back, none of the people she knew resembled anyone here, or in the other two worlds. She suspects that’s because they didn’t exist except on film. The grand Marvel Cinematic Universe. Oh, Mr. Stan Lee...you master of magic and manipulation…

She looks at the bags again. She’s going to talk to Tony about either taking most of this back or donating it. She can’t abide by this. She’s grateful - beyond grateful, but this is excess to be excessive. In Tony’s defense, it sounds like he expected her to want all this based on past experiences with her and her wanton greed. She’s no longer that person, thankfully.

She gets up and walks around the living room. She’s not the person Tony and Pepper remember. She’s had little or no contact that anyone has mentioned with the others. Bruce, while she recognized him, only seemed to be barely acquainted with her. Captain Rogers was surprised by her. Natasha isn’t even remotely close to the Natasha that Captain Rogers had been fucking before dumping her and trying his hand with Chase and Sergeant Barnes. Tony says that she and Clint are BFFs, comparing them to Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes except one of them has tits.

Chase laughs. The image of Barnes walking around as a chic with a set of D cup tits is fucking funny as hell.

She decides to get cleaned up and see what sort of nonsense the day brings.

When she’s out of the shower she calls Tony.

“Hey, kid-Chase, sorry.”

“Hey. What’s going on?”

“Business meeting. Probably shouldn’t be talking to you, I’m getting dirty looks from the board of directors.”

“Tony, don’t be an ass,” she says trying not to laugh at him. “Go back to your stuffy meeting.”

“You okay? Need something? I can bail -”

“No, I’m alright, stay in your meeting, I can hear some grumpy old fart harumphing at you.”

“That’s the Board Director. He just needs a drink of water.”

“Mr. Stark!” Chase hears someone yell. Now she is laughing.

“Good god,” Tony grumbles. “If you need anything call me, otherwise I’ll call you later.”

“Bye, Tony,” she laughs and hangs up. She looks around the apartment again. She needs to get some air. It’s just above freezing outside, but it’s better than being cooped up in the apartment.

She grabs her coat and heads to the elevator. Tony never said she had to remain in the tour or go out with an armed escort. At least not yet. So, she may as well take advantage of that while she can.


	81. The Star-Crossed Ones See Each Other In Passing

Bucky and Steve come in from their run, both sweating, Bucky’s left arm burning from the cold. He’s going to have to find something to cover it in the winter. Well, cover it in general. The looks he was getting as they ran were horrific to put it mildly. One guy actually told him to cover that shit up because he was disgusting. Steve had actually stopped to go after the guy. Steve. The skinny kid he’d had to protect all those years ago, was going to beat some random fucker’s ass because of what he said to Bucky. 

“Fuck that guy,” Steve had growled, when Bucky had grabbed Steve by the arm and pulled him back. 

“I’d rather not,” Bucky had remarked. Steve had looked at him oddly, then smiled slightly. 

“Don’t let them get to you, Buck. It’s New York.”

“Yup,” Bucky replied looking at his arm. Inside the tower they could see the steam rising off the Vibranium as the warm air came in contact with the cold metal. Steve’s even watching the display. 

“I don’t remember seeing that happen in Siberia,” Steve says as the elevator ascends. 

“Because it didn’t. Different metal. Your shield did it, though,” Bucky reminds him. Maybe Steve didn’t notice, but Bucky remembers. He remembers a lot about that day and the days leading up to it. He remembers going into cryo again after the fact and Shuri helping to clear his head out. Mostly. What he remembers most is Steve coming to find him, saving him not only from T’Challa’s misplaced wrath, but from Tony and then taking him to the only place he could think of where Bucky would be safe. 

“You still look like you’re going to puke.”

“I’m good,” he lies. He’s felt sick since going for the run. He’d gotten used to not having his left arm in Wakanda, using his right arm for everything, keeping what was left of his left arm covered by that sling. Seeing people stare and look at him in repulsion was hard to take. Hearing it was worse. 

“Buck.”

“Steve.”

“I hate these conversations.”

“Why do you start them, punk?”

“I should kick your ass,” Steve mutters as the elevator doors open. Bucky sees someone standing at the elevators in a heavy winter coat. Steve is walking away still yammering about something. Bucky lingers a moment and the figure in the coat looks over at him. It’s Chase. The elevator doors in front of her open, but before she steps in he can see the recognition and pain in her eyes when she sees him. He forgets how to breathe, the look in her eyes hitting him hard enough he staggers back a step. He blinks and she’s gone, the elevator doors closing. 

“Buck? Buck!”

Steve’s at his side, one arm around Bucky’s waist the other he’s using to drape Bucky’s arm over his shoulders to support him as they walk back to Bucky’s apartment. Bucky’s not sure he can move on his own. She knows him. She recognized him. And he hurt her. When? How? He’s only ever seen her once. Was it...was it when he was still under HYDRA control? Oh god...oh god...she’s Tony’s sister...she’s Tony’s sister and he killed her mother. Tony told her who he was...she knows he killed Marie and Howard. She knows…

“Buck! Come on, man! Stay with me!” Steve orders. Bucky can’t feel anything. His whole body is numb, he’s not sure how he’s moving. He killed her mother and she knows it was him and she hates him….

“Bruce! Get up here. He needs some help.” Steve’s calling for reinforcements. Bucky can’t talk, can’t form words. He can’t escape his past. He can’t, he should never have tried. He should have stayed in Wakanda, but Steve needed him and now she knows he killed her mother and there are two Starks who wish he was dead…

The world is swimming around Bucky’s head in shades of gray now. He feels lightheaded and weak suddenly. 

“BUCK!”

 


	82. Chase Visits Liberty Island

Chase is leaned against the wall in the elevator, her heart hammering away in her chest. He’d looked right at her and the pain and anguish in his blue eyes is more than she can handle right now. On top of everything else that she’s dealing with now there’s this. God his eyes...so much misery and torment in those blue eyes. He looks like hell, he’s thin and the dark circles under his eyes are enormous. He looks like a completely different person from the other dimensions, but it’s him. It’s still him. The guy who broke her heart, dropped her for his best friend...and killed her mother.

She steps outside into the blistering winter air, zips the coat closed and starts walking. The further away she is from the ivory tower of despair, the better. 

She ends up finding her way to the ferry to Liberty Island where she meanders around for a while, watching the throngs of tourists go up inside Lady Liberty and come back out again.

Her phone rings. It’s Tony.

“Where the hell are you?”

“Liberty Island.”

“Why?”

“I needed air.”

“On Liberty Island? Seems a little far, Chase.”

“Not really.”

“I’ll come pick you up -”

“No, I’m good. I was going to stop and get some lunch and then head back.”

“You took the card?”

“I had to, sadly,” she says putting her hand in her coat pocket and clasping the card. 

“Is it really that bad, Chase?” He sounds hurt. Chase sighs.

“No. It’s just not...I’ll tell you later when I get back, okay?”

“You sure you don’t want me to send Happy to come get you? Or I can put on a suit and airlift you out,” he jokes. 

“Freezing my ass off in the upper stratosphere isn’t my idea of a good time, Tony,” Chase laughs. “But thanks.”

“Call me when you get back,” he says hanging up. 

Chase puts the phone back in her pocket and pulls the hood over her head. It’s freezing out and the wind coming off the water is insane. She decides it’s time to go and gets back on the ferry and heads back. 


	83. Bucky Meets Bruce

Bucky opens his eyes and sees Steve and some other guy hovering over him. 

“Buck? You okay, man?” 

“Sure.”

“You blacked out,” the other guys says as Bucky sits up and rubs his head. It feels like his brain has been turned to mush. 

“Who the hell are you?” Bucky croaks.

“Bruce Banner.”

Bucky freezes. He recognizes the name. 

“Based on the look on your face you’ve heard of him,” Steve guesses. 

“Yeah.”

“They take all kinds here, apparently. Whether you want them to or not,” Bruce says. “How are you feeling?”

“Worn out.”

“Feel anxious or like you can’t breathe?” Bruce asks.

“Not anymore, no.”

“I can give you something to take that might help. There’s other things we can try -”

“No. Thanks, but no.”

“Buck, if he can help you -”

“No, Steve.”

“If you change your mind we can talk about it. There’s other options besides pills.”

“Got it,” Bucky says. He’s hoping Bruce and Steve will just leave him alone now.

Steve walks Bruce to the door and Bucky can see them talking and glancing at him. He rolls his eyes. His head hurts. 

“Buck.”

Bucky looks up at Steve.

“Want to tell me what the hell happened? You were okay when we got on the elevator - for the most part.”

“You didn’t see her, did you?” Bucky asks. He feels wiped out, like he’s had the flu for a year.

“See who?”

“That answers that. Chase.”

“Where the hell did you see her?” Steve demands. 

“Getting on the elevator right as we got off. Heavy gray coat.”

“I wasn’t paying attention I guess. What the hell does she have to do with what happened? Did she say something or do something, Buck?” Steve’s overly concerned that the dame triggered this episode he had, but she didn’t, not intentionally.

“She looked at me, Steve. That’s all she did and that’s all it took. She knows who I am -”

“Not possible. Even if Tony told her about you, she wouldn’t know who you are. She’s never seen you before,” Steve argues.

“She did know me. She recognized me. I saw the pain in her eyes, Steve...pain I caused...she knows what I did…” Bucky can’t continue, his words are choked by his tears now. 

“Shit,” Steve mumbles, “I’m sorry, Buck. I am so sorry.”

“You didn’t do it, Steve. I did. I killed her mother. I murdered Howard and Marie and she knows that and she hates me...she hates me and I can’t blame her…”

“You had no control over that, Buck. None. I know you did it. We’ve been through this, but you were a goddamn puppet with no control over what you did.”

“That doesn’t change it, Steve. Don’t you get it? That doesn’t change what I’ve done, all those people...she  _ knows. _ ”

Bucky looks at his left arm, fresh tears clouding his vision. He hurt her, he hurt Tony, he hurt countless others. He’s a monster and the only person who can’t fucking see that...is Steve.


	84. Steve's Remorse

Steve sits next to his lifelong friend while Bucky weeps. He puts his arm over Buck’s shoulders in an attempt to try and comfort him. 

He’d seen Chase and he’s convinced she not only recognized him but that she knows what he did. That he killed Marie - mother to Chase and Tony. That somehow she knows who he is, what he’s done and that she hates him.  _  Hates him _ . Steve can’t seem to convince him otherwise and now Bucky’s a goddamn train wreck.

Bruce left already after Bucky turned down any help Bruce could provide. Buck feels like he’s got to battle these demons alone, and he can’t. This is what happens when those demons take hold, they try and drag him to hell and they’ve come close to succeeding on a few occasions. 

Steve is starting to wonder if asking Bucky to come back to New York was a mistake. If bringing him here will only make things worse instead of better. Being in the same building as two Starks…

He knows, deep down, he’s being selfish. He knows this. He’s risked everything for Bucky. But the flip side of that is that Bucky took care of him for the longest time. Looked out for Steve, made sure he was alright, came to his rescue when Steve ran his damn fool mouth and was getting his ass kicked by guys two and three times his size. Bucky always made sure he picked up two dames, one for himself and one for Steve. And the dames were always lookers, hot numbers that any guy would go gaga for. Bucky wouldn’t let Steve settle for anything less. 

One year, Steve came down with pneumonia and the only person who visited him everyday and spent damn near the whole time there was Bucky. He’d sneak in food from the outside, even brought in a couple of dames to tell him horrible jokes and flash just a enough skin to put some color in Steve’s cheeks. God knows what he bribed them with…

He feels like he owes Bucky everything, and Bucky is all he has left from his own era. They’re both out of place here, out of their own time, both given something to make them practically super human. Steve volunteered, Bucky did not. Bucky lost everything, even his soul it seems at times. And no matter how hard Steve tries to repay Buck for all he’s done, there’s only so much he can do. 


	85. Steve Manages To Make Bucky Laugh

Bucky takes a deep breath. Steve is now sitting on the coffee table across from him, holding a bottle of Scotch and a glass for himself. Bucky has the other glass, a little less than a swallow left. He feels like absolute trash for crying in front of Steve. Steve doesn’t seemed phased, and Bucky’s pretty sure that’s worse than having him be ashamed of him. 

Steve had wanted to call Bruce back, but Bucky told him no. He doesn’t want pills and he damn sure doesn’t want to talk to someone who will judge him and what he’s done. 

“How are you feeling now, Buck?”

Bucky looks at the Scotch in his glass and sighs. 

“Like I’ve let you down.”

“You didn’t.”

“I’m not the person you keep looking for, Steve. He’s gone.”

“You’ve changed, Buck, there’s no denying that, but there’s still some of the old you in there. Like when you were telling me about Dot’s legs.”

Bucky smiles faintly. Steve’s trying. God love him, he’s trying.

“She had nice legs, Steve.”

“See? You’re not the only one who’s changed, Buck. Yours is more drastic, but you’re still in there, in some form or another.”

“Maybe,” he says.

“Maybe. Maybe you still like looking at tits. The one waitress at that diner we were at yesterday has a huge rack. Milkfed tits, Buck,” Steve says putting the Scotch and his glass down and making like he’s squeezing and invisible set of tits. Bucky doesn’t know why, but this is stupidly funny and he can’t help but laugh. 

“You’re a goddamn idiot.”

“Whatever. I’m starving, I’m willing to bet you haven’t eaten since yesterday. Am I right?’

“Sadly, yes.”

“Get cleaned up, we’ll go get some lunch. They’ve got meatloaf today.”

Bucky snorts and then starts laughing again. 

“Meatloaf. Meatloaf is your solution?”

“No, it’s my answer to being hungry, you shithead.”

“Fucking meatloaf.”

“Why do you hate meatloaf?”

“I don’t hate meatloaf.”

“They have a full menu.”

“Are you done?” Bucky asks. Steve’s just pushing buttons now to get a reaction. Bucky grins.

“Maybe. I’ll meet you in twenty?”

“Fifteen.”

“Sure that’ll be enough time to groom that mane of yours?” Steve teases. Bucky looks at him evenly.

“You were always jealous of my hair being better than yours.”

“You wish. Dames like guys with blonde hair.”

“You’re confused, punk. The blondes have more fun thing only applies to the dames, not giant assholes like you.”

“Sounds to me like you’re the jealous one,” Steve laughs as he gets up. He hugs Bucky briefly. “I’ll be back in twenty.”

Steve leaves and Bucky heads to the shower. He strips, throwing his clothes on the pile on the floor from last night. He’ll get a clothes basket eventually. He turns on the water in the shower and steps in before the water is even warmed up, the cold water shocking his system, his balls drawing up seeking warmth. The water warms up, his muscles relax and he cleans himself up. 

He steps out of the shower and wipes the steam off the mirror, looking at his reflection and trying to ignore his left arm. He runs his fingers over his beard, wondering if he should get rid of it. He looks like he’s homeless. One of the other things he didn’t get was a razor. He’ll have to get one at some point.

He dries himself off and gets dressed. He’s still got a couple of minutes till Steve comes to get him. He sits on the couch and puts his gloves on. He looks at his hands and flexes his fingers. He thinks about Chase. His heart starts hammering in his chest. He never meant to hurt anyone, he never wanted to do those things. He remembers them all and he pays for his deeds every day of his life and every night. No amount of apologies will make what he’s done right. Chase and Tony have every right to despise him. How could they ever forgive him when he can’t forgive himself?

He hears Steve knocking and gets up to get the door. 

“You ready?” Steve asks when Bucky opens the door. Bucky nods and they head out. 

“Buck?”

“Yeah.”

“You went back to dwelling on the dame, didn’t you?”

“Yup.”

“Why? What good is it going to do to drive yourself crazy?”

“None, most likely, but it’s not like I can help it,” Bucky admits. Steve hails a cab and they get in. 

“Try and think about something else.”

“Like tits, Steve?”

“Or Dot’s legs and lips, you goddamn smartass.”

Bucky’s grinning despite himself. He loves Steve. He loves the fact that Steve does what he can to make Bucky at least smile a little and laugh when possible. 

“You’re a shithead,” Bucky grumbles. 

“Learned from the best,” Steve says as the cab stops.

“Don’t blame Peggy for this.”

Steve was about half out of the car when Bucky said that. He turns around and gives Bucky probably the most hilariously pissed off face Bucky has ever seen. 

“Get out of the goddamn cab,” Steve snaps as Bucky laughs.

“Can’t till you get your ass out of the car.”

“I’m going to put my foot so far up your ass…”

Bucky just keeps laughing.


	86. Meeting At The Diner

 

Chapter

Chase is fighting the wind in Midtown looking for a place to eat. She’s starving. She happens upon a little diner and decides to dip inside and get out of the blustery wind. 

The place is packed. It is lunchtime so she’s not entirely surprised. 

“How many?” the hostess asks tiredly.

“One.”

“It’s about twenty minutes. Take it or leave it.”

Chase nods her head indicating she’ll wait, afraid that if she opens her mouth she’s going to get thrown out for bitching at the hostess and her shitty attitude. 

She’s looking at the decor on the walls when she hears someone call her name. She looks towards the sound, but doesn’t see anyone.

“Chase.”

Then she sees them. Rogers and Barnes. Rogers motioning her to come over and Barnes looking nervous and shy, his eyes down. Jesus Christ...

He’s still trying to get her to come over. Does she ignore him and just be a rude cunt or does she go sit and eat and at least be polite. She’s starving, it’s cold outside and the food in here has her salivating. 

“I’m so going to regret this,” she mumbles to herself as she heads towards them. “Gods help me.”

“There’s a wait. We just got seated and there’s plenty of room for you to join us,” Steve offers. Not Steve. Captain Rogers. Keep it professional.

“Thanks, Captain Rogers.”

Steve smiles and slides over a little giving her room to slide in next to him in the booth. Barnes looks up momentarily, their eyes meet and he looks down again quickly. 

“You don’t have to be so formal, Chase. Just call me Steve,” he says. “This is Bucky,” Steve says introducing her. Barnes looks up again and smiles timidly. He extends his hand, and she takes it. He grips her hand softly, shakes it once and immediately lets go. 

“Pleasure,” he says softly. 

“Buck, this is Chase,” Steve says finishing the introductions. Like she doesn’t already know them. “What are you doing out in this weather?” Steve asks handing her his menu. 

“Getting some air. Clearing my fucking head,” she answers. She sees Bucky lower his menu and glance at her.

“You’ve been through a lot recently,” Steve says. “Special today is meatloaf -”

“Ech,” she grunts, “I prefer my own.”

She sees the grin appear on Bucky’s face as he pretends to look at the menu still. 

“Can I get you fellas a drink?” 

Chase looks up at the waitress and is nearly blinded by her barely covered tits in Chase’s face. She scoots back into Steve hard enough that he grunts. She hears Bucky snicker and quickly recover his composure.

“Coke,” Steve says uncomfortably. 

“Coke,” Bucky repeats.

“Coffee, extra cream,” Chase says trying to find a way to not sit on Steve’s lap and not get poked in the fucking eye by a rogue nipple.

“Got it,” the waitress says, winks at Steve and sachays off. Chase slides back over.

“Sorry,” she apologizes. 

“No problem,” Steve says easily. She sees Bucky’s smirking and looks over at Steve and sees the color on his cheeks slowly fading. Fucking goons, both of them. 

The big busted waitress comes back and goes back to flirting with Steve and then Bucky, all while ignoring Chase except to try and stick her tits in Chase’s eyes. She’s getting irritated with this now. 

“What can I get you two dreamboats?” the waitress asks. Chase scratches her cheek with her middle finger, Bucky’s the only one who notices and the grin broadens.

“We need a few more minutes, please,” Steve tells her. She winks at him, then at Bucky and saunters off, shaking her ass at them as she goes.

“Does she serve fries with that shake? Fucking shit,” Chase growls. Steve laughs out loud and then quiets down immediately. 

“You want to sit over here, Chase?” Bucky offers. “I’ll move.”

“No, thank you, Sergeant Barnes.”

Steve and Bucky both freeze and Chase realizes too late that she’s given herself away. 

“You do know who I am,” Bucky says in a voice that’s just barely audible. He looks at Steve and Chase can see he’s scared suddenly.

“How...did Tony tell you? Tony, told you, right?” Steve asks. The waitress comes back with their drinks, handing the boys their Cokes and then slopping the coffee all over the saucer for Chase. 

“Ready?” she asks leaning forward again, shaking herself to get the boys attention. Neither of them notice her, which Chase thinks serves the big tittied bitch right.

“No. Just a few more minutes, please,” Chase says firmly. She gets a look from the waitress who then storms off. 

“I tried to tell you,” Bucky says. He slides from the booth like he’s going to leave. Fucking shit.

“Sit,” Chase orders more fiercely than she’d wanted. Bucky jumps, but stops where he is. 

“Because Tony told you,” Steve repeats. She can tell he’s wanting her to agree with that statement. She can’t. 

“Chase...I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I never meant to hurt anyone...I know you can’t forgive me, but I never wanted to hurt anyone...I’m sorry.” Bucky’s voice is strained, tears standing in those blue eyes highlighting his pain and suffering.

Chase looks away, she can’t bear to see him like this. He’s so broken and in so much pain. 

“Did Tony tell you?” Steve asks again. 

“No,” she says softly. She gets up, fighting her own tears. He’s breaking her heart. Goddammit he’s breaking her heart, he’s a fucking wreck.

“Chase...I’m so sorry,” he whispers, tears running down and getting lost in his full beard. “I didn’t want to hurt Marie…”

“It’s not Marie that has me upset, Sergeant Barnes,” she says softly. She sees Steve reaching for her and slips from his grasp. She’s out the door and into the cold New York air running towards the tower. 


	87. Leaving The Diner

Steve drops cash on the table and leaves the diner, going after Bucky who’s already left. He went after Chase, tears streaming down his face. Steve’s trying to figure out what the fuck Chase meant when she said Marie wasn’t the issue. How the fuck does she know Bucky? From where? Who the hell could HYDRA have sent him after that Chase would know?

“Buck!” Steve yells, pushing past the people to catch up to the other man. Bucky used to be faster, but he’s not been taking care of himself. Not eating right, not sleeping. Shuri and T’Challa can only do so much, they can’t force the man to eat or sleep. 

He catches up to him, Bucky having lost his bearings after a few blocks. 

“Buck,” Steve says grabbing him by the shoulder. Bucky jumps and looks at Steve. He’s terrified and confused. 

“Stop. Calm down. We’re going to figure this out. Just stop. I’m right here, you’re with me in New York and you’re not alone,” Steve says firmly. He sees some of the clarity come back to Bucky’s eyes, but the pain is still there. 

“How does she know me? What did I do to her? I made her cry, Steve. What did I do to her?” Bucky asks, fresh tears filling his eyes. Steve hates seeing him like this, broken, beaten, confused, and scared. He knows Buck’s fighting to hold himself together, fighting against what HYDRA did to him and made him do, but it’s an uphill battle, one that Buck seems to be losing now. 

“We’ll figure this out,” Steve tells him. “I’m here with you, Buck.”

Bucky nods his head, but Steve can see the confusion and pain still lingering. 

“This way,” he says pointing in the direction of the tower. “You’ll get the hang of it, Buck.”

They head back, walking slowly, neither of them saying anything. As soon as they hit the lobby Steve’s phone is blowing up.

“Oh shit. It’s Tony.”


	88. The Lobby

Chase made it to the tower just as Tony did. As soon as he saw she was crying Tony went into protective big brother mode.

“What happened? Who did this to you?” Tony asked, cupping her face in his hands, bending at the waist to look into her eyes. 

“Tony…” she’s trying to catch her breath and stop crying. 

“It’s okay. You’re safe, I’m here,” he says hugging her. 

“Tony…” she’s trying to catch her breath and stop crying. 

“What happened?”

“Steve…” is all she gets out and Tony’s on the phone blowing up Steve.

“Don’t, Tony,” Chase pleads. “They aren’t to blame here.”

Tony hangs up the phone and looks at her totally bewildered.

“What does that mean?” Tony asks. 

Steve and Bucky come rushing inside at that moment.

“Oh god,” Chase groans. She knows she’s going to break and Tony’s going to kill everyone and this Bucky looks like death warmed over as it is and Steve did help rescue her and…

“What the fuck did you two motherfucking assholes do to her?!” Tony yells angrily. Chase sees Bucky cringe and step back away. Steve grabs his arm and holds him. She can see Bucky’s looking for a way out. He doesn’t want a confrontation.

“We didn’t do anything!” Steve snaps.

“Tony, stop,” Chase pleads. “They didn’t do anything here.”

“What does that mean, Chase?” Tony asks, still holding her away from Steve and Bucky. 

“Steve. I need air,” Bucky says. Chase hears him choke a little and looks over at Bucky. She sees him look away, he looks like he’s going to be sick.

“Steve, get him outside. He’s falling apart, don’t let him. Please, he needs your help,” Chase says from Tony’s chest. She can feel Tony’s eyes on her, knows he’s shocked. She knows Steve’s face is the same. She’s not looking at either of them, just at Bucky, who looks like hell.

Steve takes Bucky outside.

“What the hell happened, Chase?” Tony asks. He’s trying to keep his cool, but he’s convinced Steve and Bucky caused this issue. And now she’s royally fucked because she’s going to have to tell at least one of them what happened. 

Steve comes back inside with Bucky who is still visibly shaken. 

She sees Tony look at Bucky then back to her. 

“Did he hurt you?” Tony asks, barely containing his anger now. “Did he say something -”

“No, Tony. Stop,” Chase says forcibly, pulling free from Tony’s embrace. “He hasn’t done anything, but come back to New York it seems.”

“How do you know him?” Steve asks. She looks at Bucky again and her heart aches. 

“She knows what he did, that’s enough, isn’t it?” Tony demands.

“He had no control over that!” Steve yells back. “Goddammit, Tony, we’ve been through this! I should have told you, I regret _not_ telling you, Tony, and I’m truly sorry. He did nothing to her.”

“Stop! Both of you,” Chase commands. Bucky’s leaning on the security desk. Does she go to him and start this all over again? Does she pretend he’s not standing there, in need of help? Ignore his pain and suffering and in doing so ignore her own? That he caused? Helped cause. Tony and Steve had a hand in that, too.

“Chase, what the hell is going on?” Tony asks for the fiftieth time. 

“Get him to medical, Steve. Get him to Bruce,” Chase instructs. She’s fighting the urge to go hold the poor bastard. He needs sleep. He needs to eat. 

“Come up to the penthouse, Chase. Rogers, get him to medical before he ruins the tile in here,” Tony says. He puts his arm around Chase and walks her to the elevators. Chase looks back once. Bucky is watching her go, crippling her heart and crushing her soul. He’s not Bucky from any of the previous worlds. This one is the end result of being completely broken and abused and losing all hope, even with Steve to try and help. 

The elevator doors start to close.

“Chase...I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” Bucky says, fresh tears in his eyes. The elevator doors close and he’s gone. She and Tony are on their way to the penthouse and Chase is in tears again. 


	89. Tony Learns The Truth

They get to the penthouse after standing in silence for the ride up. Pepper greets them and immediately sees there’s a problem.

“What happened?”

“Frick and Frack,” Tony growls.

“Goddammit, Tony!” Chase yells. Tony jumps. 

“Chase, calm down,” Pepper says trying to mediate. Chase drops into one of the chairs and heaves a shaky sigh. Tony looks to Pepper and Chase sees her motion toward the bar. Alcohol is a solution in any of these worlds. Drink enough and you’ll forget everything. Why the fuck not?

Tony hands her what looks like a double shot of whiskey. It smells like turpentine. 

“I’m sorry, Tony,” she says as she takes the drink. 

“You’re upset, it’s been rough. I know you didn’t mean to yell.”

“Not about that, Tony. For what you’re about to hear.” Tony looks at Pepper who has no more of an answer than he does. Chase downs the drink.

“Sit down, Tony.”

“Chase -”

“Trust me. Sit down. You’re going to hate me by the time I’m done. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t say that. Nothing you can say can make me hate you.”

“Not even if it pertains to the two people you seem to care for the least?” Chase asks. Pepper comes over with the decantur and hands it to Tony who fills Chase’s glass again. 

“Rogers and Barnes? What the hell happened, Chase?”

Chase takes a deep breath.

“He didn’t do anything to me here, Tony. Neither of them did. Steve helped bring me back, remember?”

“Of course I do.”

“I knew them both. I knew you. Two different dimensions...those are the memories I have of you. Of them.”

“I saw you in that other universe. So did Steve and the others. Except for Barnes. He was  hiding.”

“Tony, stop! I know what he did. I know he killed Marie and Howard. Do you see how broken he is here? He’s a shell of a man.”

“Karma.”

“Jesus Christ,” Chase groans. She downs this glass and pours another. “You have no idea who he is.”

“He’s a fucking monster, Chase.”

“Well, Tony,” Chase says raising her glass to him, “I fucked a monster. In two different universes.”

“Chase, if this is a joke…”

“It’s not, Tony. I wish to hell it was. I wish I’d never gotten involved with either version of Barnes, or Rogers or the first version of you I came across. Because if I had avoided them, I might be sitting with Bucky right now trying to help that broken soul mend and maybe help myself in the process.”

“What happened, Chase? What the hell happened?”


	90. Bucky Just Wants To Go Back

Bucky sits on the hospital bed looking at his left hand. He somehow managed to force himself to stop crying and blubbering like a little girl. Steve is talking to Bruce right now. They’d stepped outside just a moment ago. Bucky told Bruce he didn’t want anything to help him sleep, anything to calm his nerves. He doesn’t want anything at all. He deserves what he’s getting, regardless of what Steve seems to believe. 

He swallows, his mouth is dry, so is his throat. He’s thrown up twice since coming to medical. Bruce did convince him to get a shot of Phenergan to help with the nausea and vomiting, but it took some coercing. Now all Bucky wants to do is go back up to that apartment and figure out how he can get back to Wakanda - provided T’Challa will let him go back. 

There’s a knock at the door and Bruce comes in.

“I know you’re suffering. Everyone on the team has some form of PTSD, Buck, and everyone handles it differently. I don’t think what you’re doing is working for you. Punishing yourself for something…

“I did those things, Bruce.”

“You don’t think he’s done some shit? The big green guy? Goes on a bloody rampage and destroys...Tony had to build a suit just to contain him and it failed, Buck. It. Failed. I can’t control him, I’ve tried. He’s still part of me. What HYDRA did to you Shuri took that part out of you, but she can’t take away the memories. No one can. You have to find a way to deal with it, better than you have been. Steve risked everything for you, but he can only do so much. I can only do so much. You need to find another way.”

Bucky nods his head. He knows Bruce is right. He knows Steve risked everything. He knows he’s killing himself in the slowest fashion possible. What he doesn’t know is how to fix it, or if he even should. 


	91. Tony And Chase Round Three

Chase, Tony, and Pepper all sit silently in the penthouse. No one has said a word since Chase finished telling Tony what happened in the last two Tony/Steve/Bucky universes. Tony looks green around the gills and Pepper is a lot more pale than usual. 

“Jesus Christ, Chase,” Tony mumbles rubbing his face. “Jesus Christ.”

“You wanted to know, Tony. There it is. I’m sorry,” she says getting up. “Do with the information what you will. I’ll be gone by morning.”

“Where do you think you’re going to go, Chase?” he asks. There’s no animosity in his voice, no cynicism. 

“I don’t know. Out of your sight for starters.”

“Tony, do something,” Pepper pleads. 

“I can’t let you do that, Chase. What happened in those other places...was pretty fucked up, I’m not going to lie. Some of the issues you created yourself, the rest...the rest I’m as much at fault for as the other two. But that’s not here. That isn’t now.”

“No, Tony, it isn’t. But I’m tired of this shit. I’m tired of being tossed around like a cheap toy. I’m tired of making shitty decisions. I’m just...tired. I don’t know where I belong, fuck what the Gauntlet showed me. You don’t owe me anything, just wash your hands of all of this, Tony. Wash your hands and walk away.”

“No.”

“Don’t be fucking stupid, Stark. Pepper, step in here and do something before he drags you into some shit you can’t get out of.”

Pepper shakes her head no.

“I’m not going to punish you, fault you, or hate you for what happened, Chase,” Tony says softly. “I can’t and I won’t. You’ve been through too much in a short amount of time. This is your home. I have your birth certificate. The other Tony’s...they felt that connection, but they weren’t me. I am your brother, this is your home, and I’m not going to turn my damn back on you like the others have.”

Chase bites her lip. Trying to explain how she feels is like trying to explain the color blue to someone who’s never seen colors before. 

“What if you’re wrong?”

“I’m willing to take that chance.”

“Why?”

“Simply put : I’m not wrong.”

“You chauvinistic asshole,” Chase mutters, but she can’t stop from smiling and then laughing a little bit. 

“That’s what makes me who I am, kiddo.”

“Oh god…”

“Yeah, yeah. I get why you hate it. It’s still going to happen.”

“Chase. Fruitcake, cuntcake, twatwaffle, asshat, anything but kiddo, Tony.”

“Cuntcake?” Pepper repeats in horrible distaste. Tony’s smirking. 

“Pepper does not approve of these names.”

“Pepper doesn’t have to call me these names,” Chase tells him. 

“I assure you cuntcake and twatwaffle aren’t anything I would call anyone,” Pepper states.

“So, there’s that,” Tony says and shrugs.  “What if Pepper calls you kiddo?”

“I don’t see that happening. I only ever see her calling me Chase or Tony’s pain in the ass sister.”

“You said that?” Tony asks, picking on Pepper now. She shoots him a look. 

“Not yet,” she replies smugly. Both Chase and Tony make the same puckered lip face and Pepper laughs. 

“Don’t think you have to go, Chase,” Tony says, regaining his composure. “I don’t want you to go. I don’t give a shit what crap decisions you made. I’m not even going to argue with you about what you said before we got on the elevator.”

“Refresh my memory, Tony. I say so many things I can’t keep track,” Chase says sitting down and playing with the nearly empty decanter.

“That you regret your decisions with Barnes and Rogers from the previous worlds so much so that it’s keeping you from doing something you clearly feel like you should do.”

“You hate him.”

“I never said I didn’t.”

“Why would you condone that?”

“You’re not a minor. You’re mostly mentally sound, I guess. You are your own person and I can’t make those types of shitty decisions for you.”

“Oh my fucking god that’s the most adult thing any Tony has ever said to me. I must be drunk,” Chase mutters, putting the decanter down in amazement.

Pepper has her hand over her mouth and is trying to laugh as quietly as possible.

“You know you’re an asshole, right?” Tony asks Chase.

“I come by it honestly I suppose.”

That’s all it takes for Pepper to crack up laughing. 

“You’re not helping,” he says wagging his finger at her. She can only shake her head at him.


	92. Chase Makes An Offer

Bucky’s finally on his way back to the apartment. Steve got the call about a mission while they were in medical. He made Bucky promise a thousand times that he’d be alright without Steve and that if something happened Bucky would go to Bruce for help. Sure, why not?

He’s now alone in the tower and fighting to stay calm. He’s seriously considering taking the Valium Bruce gave him and going the fuck to bed. He’ll pay for it in spades later. The nightmares will come, like they always do. Maybe he should just start sleeping in the bathroom. He won’t have to worry about making it to the fucking toilet in time before he heaves up whatever he’d managed to stomach. 

He steps off the elevator just as the other elevator dings and the doors open. He looks, not knowing why, and sees Chase. He actually feels his heart stop. She’s going to kill him and she hasn’t actually done anything to him. That’s some stealth assassin skill right there, folks.

“Bucky.” Her voice is soft, but there’s a tremor to it. He looks away and backs up a step. He doesn’t know what to do. Steve isn’t here. What does he do? She hates him. What does he do? Where is his apartment? He can’t think clearly…

He’s terrified to the point he drops the bottle of valium. She looks at him, at the pills and then retrieves them.

“Thank you,” he mumbles when she hands them to him. He’s shaking like a leaf. 

“It’s alright.”

“I am sorry -” he tries to tell her again he’s sorry, he never meant to hurt anyone, he didn’t want to do these things, but the words get stuck. He backs up a step, unsure what to do.

“I’m not going to hurt you. I’m not going to yell at you. I’m not going to fight with you. All I’m going to do is offer you someplace to help quiet you down a bit and maybe, after you’re calmer, we can talk. No judgment, no tricks.”

His mouth moves but he can’t speak. 

“No, thank you. I don’t want to be a pest. But, thank you,” he says quickly, backing up another step. She steps back from him, giving him more space. She doesn’t seem mad or upset or angry or hurt or anything like that. She just seems like she understands. 

“Alright. If you change your mind it’s 1045, down the hall here. I’m not your enemy, James, nor do I want to be.”

She smiles a little, backs up one more step before turning and walking away. He’s frozen for a moment, unable to make himself move. He runs to his apartment, entering the keycode incorrectly four times before he’s able to stop shaking enough to get it entered. 

Once inside he’s hit with the loneliness and isolation he’s feeling. He’s a fucking mess right now, his chest hurts, he can’t breathe, he’s scared, he’s alone…

He looks at the valium then at the door to his apartment. She’s Tony’s sister. She hates him. So he thought. It could be a trap. She could be baiting him. Even if she is...even if it’s his death warrant she’s holding, is it going to be worse than being here alone with himself? 


	93. Bucky Accepts The Offer

Chase steps inside her place and sheds her coat and shoes. She’d seen Bucky as she got off the elevator. He was deep in the clutches of a massive panic attack. Bruce had given him valium and Bucky was shaking so goddamn bad he dropped the pills. This man breaks her heart without saying a goddamn word. He exudes pain and loneliness while trying to hide himself.  She’d made the split decision to try and help him, acted on that decision by offering to have him come over. He’d declined her very, very politely. He’s scared of her. Hell, he seems like he’s scared of everything, but that can’t be true. Bucky’s a fighter, he’ll do what needs to be done, but when that mission is over, when the task is complete...it looks like this Bucky is content to die from the inside out.  He’s only surviving now and if she had to guess, he’s only doing it for Steve. 

She hears a faint knock on the door and jumps. While she’s fairly certain she knows who it is, she’s surprised just the same. 

She opens the door and Bucky is standing there, looking down, hands stuffed deep into his coat pockets.

“Is that offer...I don’t want to bother you.”

He’s soft spoken, she can see he’s breathing hard, can see the sweat on his brow. He’s going to fucking kill himself at this rate. 

“Come on, come in,” she says, opening the door fully and allowing him inside. He stops just inside the door and looks around, seemingly unsure of himself.

“Do you want to take off your coat?”

“Yes, thanks,” he says shedding his coat. She can see he’s soaked. He’s legitimately got her worried right now. She hangs his coat up next to hers. He’s looking at the floor, rubbing his left arm, breathing like he can’t catch his breath. 

“I need you to try and calm down, Buck. Please. Sit on the couch, I’ll go make us some tea or come with me and sit in the kitchen if you don’t want to be out here alone,” she says, hoping that giving him the option to be around someone will help him a little. He’s terrified of her and she’s not sure what to do or how to handle that.

He looks up from the floor, his blue eyes pulling at her heart. 

“I’m not bothering you, am I?”

“I wouldn’t have given you the options if you were.”

“I can sit in the kitchen, if you’re alright with that. I don’t...I’ll be quiet.”

It takes everything she has not to break down and weep for him right now. He’s beyond broken. 

“You don’t have to be quiet. You can talk. Or you can listen,” she says gently. “Come on.”

He follows her to the kitchen and sits down silently on one of the chairs at the island. Chase fills the tea kettle with water and grabs the box of chamomile tea from the cabinet.

“Ever have this?” she asks, handing him the box. He’s still shaking when he takes it from her. He looks it over and shakes his head no.

“Open the box and take a whiff.”

He does as he’s told and wrinkles his nose a bit. 

“What is this?”

“Chamomile. It’s calming. No sugar, tastes a little funky, but it does the trick with no side effects.”

He looks at the box and then he looks at her and tries to smile. 

“I have regular tea, but I don’t think caffeine is your friend right now.”

“Are you having this?” he asks tapping on the chamomile box.

“I am.”

“I’d like to have some, please.”

He’s soft spoken and painfully shy. Where is James Buchanan Barnes at in there? Is he even still in there or has the void inside this man swallowed what was left of the man he once was? 

He looks away uneasy under the weight of her gaze and she shakes her head. She pulls mugs down and drops a tea bag into each mug just as the tea kettle starts to whistle. She pours the water and places the piping hot mug in front of Bucky. She sits down across from him and plays with the tab, dunking the tea bag over and over in the water trying to get it to steep faster. He watches her for a couple of moments then repeats her actions. She smiles a little. 

They sit quietly sipping at the hot tea, Bucky looking around and stealing glances at her occasionally. She keeps from looking at him for any length of time, catching his glances now and then and smiling a little. 

“How’s the tea?” she asks  after a bit.

“Funky.”

She grins.

“Has it helped?”

He thinks about it and shakes his head no. She nods. The tea was a long shot. 

“Do you want to finish it or do you want something else?” she offers.  “We can move to the living room after you decide. That stupid couch is a little more comfortable than these chairs.”

That made him grin just a bit. 

“I can finish the tea. It’s okay,” he says softly. She gets up and he follows, moving in silence. They head to the living room and he stops. 

“Do you want to sit on the couch and I can take a recliner?”

He looks at the couch then the floor, still completely ill at ease and frightened. Chase realizes she has two options. She can try and talk him through this and hope he responds, or just do what her heart has been begging her to do since she saw him in the lobby.

She puts her mug down on the coffee table, takes his and puts it next to hers. She puts her arms around him and hugs him tightly. He freezes. She can hear his heart racing in his chest.

“It’s alright, Bucky. It’s alright,” she whispers. 


	94. Bucky and Chase

Bucky looks at the couch and then the floor. Chase just offered him a place to sit, the recliner or the couch. He wants to sit next to her, but then again he doesn’t. He’s not sure what her end game here is. She made him tea, she knows he’s having a panic attack, one he can’t seem to escape right now, and she seems to be trying to get him to calm down. But Bucky can’t. He just can’t. He’s so lost right now with this dame. Even if he wasn’t already in the throws of a fucking panic attack when he got off the elevator, being in the same room as a pretty dame like Chase damn sure would have set one off. Now he’s doubly fucked, he can’t breathe…

She scares the hell out of him even further by putting her arms around him and telling him it’s alright. He swallows the lump in his throat, and tries to catch his breath.

“Bucky. Bucky, look at me.” Her tone has changed, not soft anymore, but firm. She’s cupping his face in her hands now, forcing him to look into her big brown eyes. He can see she’s worried. He doesn’t understand why. He’s made no threats to her.

“Calm down, Buck. Calm down. Breathe slowly. Come on.”

She’s trying to help him. She’s trying to help him catch his breath. Why? Why would she help him? The room is starting to spin now.

“Nope. Come on, slim.” 

He feels her arm around his waist, guiding him to the couch. He practically falls on it. He feels like he’s got vertigo. She sits next to him and now he can feel her moving. Why is she stretching out? 

“Come here. It’s okay, Bucky, it’s alright. Lean back, come on,” she coaxes. He can feel her tugging gently on him, and he doesn’t know what else to do so he does as she tells him and leans back against her. She’s soft and very warm, his head resting just below her collarbone, the room is spinning crazily, why is she doing this, what’s happening…

“Breathe with me, Bucky. Follow my lead. Deep breath in through your nose.” 

He feels her chest rise up against his back as she inhales slow and deep.

“Exhale slow through your mouth,” she tells him after she exhales slowly. He feels her chest go down slowly. She repeats the instructions, twice, three times and now he’s doing it, too. He’s breathing with her. He doesn’t know how the hell she managed to do it, but she did it and now they’re breathing in time together and he’s finally able to catch his breath. 

He opens his eyes and the room spins dangerously, so he closes them quickly again. 

“It’s alright, Bucky. You’re alright,” she whispers. He feels her fingers in his hair, pushing it off his brow and the sides of his face. She puts her other hand on his chest, almost like she’s cradling him. Why is she doing this? He hurt her…

“Why are you doing this?” he asks finally. He can’t open his eyes. If he does, he knows the tea is going to come back up. He’s expecting to hear something about the enemy of my enemy is my friend or she’s doing it to piss Tony off or something like that. She’s got no business caring for someone like him. Not after what he’s done. 

“Mostly because you’re letting me,” she says softly. He feels her run her fingers through his hair from root to tip, not pulling, not hurting him. The sensation is strange. 

“There’s other reasons?” he dares ask. 

“I’ll answer that when I think you’re calmed down enough and you can open your eyes and not turn green.”

He’s in no position to argue, but he wants to know. He  _ needs _ to know.

“You know what I did -”

“You’re a stubborn ass.”

He cringes.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t say it to be hateful, Bucky. Just stating a fact,” she says softly. She goes back to toying with his hair, even though he’s soaked with sweat…

“What did you mean about Marie at the diner?”

“You’re trying to kill yourself, aren’t you?”

“Not intentionally, no, I don’t think so.”

“Hmm.”

“Why would you ask that?”

“Another observation.”

“I don’t understand…” he trails off because the fear is taking hold again and he’d just started to calm down.

“Don’t understand what, Bucky?” she asks warmly. What is she doing?

“Why you care.”

He feels her stop breathing for a moment and now the panic and fear have him in their icy grip.

“I want you to take one of those stupid valium. Once you calm down enough I’ll tell you what you want to know, but you have to calm down, James.”

The usage of his proper name to drive the point home works. 

“If I take one, and I come back tomorrow, you’ll tell me?”

“You’re going to wait that long? Let me rephrase that, you’re not leaving here unless it’s to go to medical for observation. Your fucking heartbeat is almost as erratic as your breathing and you’re scaring me.”

This blows his mind. He cannot grasp the concept that she cares enough to be scared for him. Nobody cares about him, except Steve.

“What?” He doesn’t know how else to respond now.

“I can’t, in good faith, leave you to your own devices, James. I can’t and I won’t. You either take the valium and stay here until I’m content you’re not going to go into cardiac arrest, or I’m calling Bruce and making him admit you in medical.”

“You shouldn’t care about what happens to me. Why do you care?”

“Because I’m a glutton for punishment and maybe this time I’ll get it right.”

That makes no goddamn sense whatsoever, but then none of this makes any sense. 

“I don’t want to go to medical -”

“Then tell me where the valium are and I’ll get them for you. I don’t want you to take more than one. Hell, take half of one and see if it helps.”

Bucky’s head is throbbing. He can feel his temples pounding and the scars where they used to attach the nodes to scramble his brains ache.

“I don’t understand why you care. I don’t want to make you mad. I don’t want to go to medical…”

“Tell me what you DO want, James.”

He doesn’t honestly know.

“For you to call me Bucky and to take a half a valium,” he says giving in. Whatever happens now, happens. 

“Where are they, Bucky?”

“My coat.”

“Can you sit up without feeling sick?” The concern in her voice is both welcoming and frightening. 

He forces himself to sit up and open his eyes. The room shifts violently and his head pounds that much harder. He rubs his temples in a vain attempt to make it stop. He shivers, his sweat soaked shirts cooling his skin excessively now. He can’t win…

He sees Chase get up and grab his coat. She comes back with it and searches the pockets, finally finding the pill bottle. She tosses his coat onto the recliner, pops the top off the bottle and breaks one of the little pills in two. 

“Here. I’ve got cranberry juice or ginger ale or water to down that with. No caffeine,” she says handing him the half pill and putting the other half back in the bottle. 

“Water, please.”

“Are you going to stay put?”

He hadn’t actually considered going anywhere till she said something.

“Yes.”

She nods and heads to the kitchen. He shivers more and goes back to rubbing his temples. 

“Bucky.”

He looks up and she’s seated on the coffee table across from him with a glass of water. He takes it, pops the pill, chews it up then drinks the water. His stomach turns, warning him to be careful.

“You’re soaked and you’re cold. You need to get out of those wet clothes, Bucky, but all I can offer you is a blanket.”

“I haven’t done laundry so I don’t have anything to offer me either,” he says tiredly. Her eyes widen a little and he sees the hint of a smile on her lips. This has the surprising effect of making him feel a little better. 

“I’m going to make a suggestion. That’s all this is, it’s not part of our original agreement of you staying here or going to medical, okay?”

He’s not sure if he likes where this is going. Is she going to make him go to medical regardless? Is she going to kick him out now?

“Take a hot shower here. I’ll wash your clothes you have, get them dried and by the time they’re done, hopefully you’ll be settled down enough you can get the answers you're after. And stop being my hostage.”

She’s making a joke. At least he thinks she is. She’s not holding him hostage, per se. Is she? No…

“Bucky?”

“I don’t want you to have to do all that. I’m okay,” he tries to lie and then shivers because his body isn’t on the same page he is right now.

“Uh huh. You’re just going to sit there and shiver and make your head hurt more?”

This dame should be in politics or an interrogator. 

“I don’t want to impose or be any more of a nuisance -”

“Stop,” she says taking him by the chin. “You’re not imposing and you’re not a nuisance. Would it be so bad to take a hot shower and wrap up in a blanket while your clothes got washed?”

She’s got him dead to rights with that. 

“No,” he says and sighs. “You’re sure this isn’t me being a problem?”

“I’m sure. Besides,” she says with a warm smile, “it’ll give the valium time to get into your system while you’re in the shower. I told you, the sooner I know you’re calmed down, the sooner you get answers, the sooner  you’re free to go. After your clothes are done, of course.”

She lets go of his chin and tucks a strand of hair behind his ear. He looks at his left arm, the sudden realization setting in that this won’t work out like he thought.

“I know about your arm, Bucky. It doesn’t bother me, if that’s what that look on your face is about.”

He looks into her eyes. There’s no lying there. Nothing hidden. She’s just tired. Like he is. 

“Chase…”

“You don’t have to do this. I can get the blanket and we can sit out here with you covered up,” she offers, but only half heartedly. Truth be told, getting into a hot shower sounds great right now. Especially if it means he’ll stop shivering and making his head hurt worse. 

“Are you going to wash everything or should I keep the boxers?” He’s stupidly embarrassed about asking her this. She doesn’t seemed bothered in the least.

“Whatever makes you happy. I’ll bring the blanket into the bathroom and you can just wrap yourself in it like a toga. Go commando if you want, Bucky, or don’t. I’ll get your clothes washed that you give me,” she says with a shrug. He nods his head and regrets that when it feels like his brain is being stabbed by an icepick. He closes his eyes, hands going back to his temples to rub. He feels her hand on his cheek and he opens his eyes slowly. 

“Come on,” she says and gets up. He stands up slowly, the head rush and room spinning and thumping headache making him feel like he should be dead. She takes his arm as a means to keep him steady and walks with him back to the bathroom. 

“I’ll be right back,” she says and disappears into the bedroom. The sudden thought hits him that he’d like to see her bedroom. He buries it as quickly as it sprang up. 

Chase appears a few moments later with an oversized fleece blanket. He follows her into the bathroom where she places it on the counter by the sinks. 

“Tony says everything is the exact same in all of these, which is new, but...that’s neither here nor there. If you feel woozy or sick, please promise me you’ll yell.”

“I’ll be fine -”

“James Barnes.”

She’s not taking going to let this slide. She’s genuinely concerned.

“I promise,” he says knowing full well he’s not being honest. The thought of a pretty dame like Chase seeing something that looks like him naked makes him uneasy. He’s a mess.

She’s studying him and he can see she knows he’s bullshitting here. She glances at his left shoulder briefly. 

“You made me a promise, James Barnes. If you feel sick or lightheaded or whatever and you don’t keep your word about calling me...I don’t want to see you hurt, Bucky. You look like you’ve suffered more than enough,” she finishes, her voice super soft. She looks away and then leaves the bathroom. Bucky shivers, a combination of fear and cold shaking his body. He looks at the blanket on the counter and touches it. It’s so very soft, like her touch, like her. 

He strips, looking at his boxers letting the debate rage as to whether he sets them aside or not. Another shiver rocks him, his head pounds so badly his vision gets blurred and he just kicks everything into a pile on the floor, boxers included. He turns on the shower, lets the water warm up this time and steps in. There is sweet smell of coconut that starts to build as the steam rises. It smells beautiful. The hot water warms him up, the shivering stops for the most part. He picks up the bottle of body wash and opens it. The coconut smell intensifies. Something else that has a softness to it, like the blanket, like Chase. Should he be scared of her still? He’s standing naked in her shower, smelling her body wash, wondering what the fuck is going on here with her. She told him if he calmed down she’d answer his questions. She’s either genuinely concerned or she’s a damn good actress. 

He finishes up, taking in the as much of the hot water as he can. It warmed him up, thankfully, but the headache remains. He’s managed to calm his breathing, which he attributes to her, but he’s still dealing with the panic, his chest is still tight. 

He steps out of the shower and dries off quickly. He dries his hair, doing his best to run his fingers through to try and comb it out so he looks somewhat presentable. 

He looks at his pile of clothes on the floor and at the blanket. He grabs the blanket and wraps it around himself as best he can. 

There’s a knock on the door and Bucky jumps, his stomach churns and he leans over the sick, trying not to gag.

“Bucky?”

“Chase...I’m okay,” he answers.  

“Can I come in? To get your clothes,” she adds hastily. He steps back away from the mirror, looking at his left arm and whimpering unintentionally. 

“Buck?”

 


	95. Chase and Bucky Try and Talk

Chase watches as Bucky tries to hide his left shoulder, clearly self conscious about the metal and the scars. There are more scars that she can see. Burn marks from the looks of things. Jesus Christ, it’s like this Bucky took the brunt of all the emotional abuse and a good chunk of physical abuse that the other Buckys did not. 

He steps back from her, looking down like he’s ashamed. She reaches for him, thinks better of it and lets her hand fall to her side. 

“You can go sit on the couch if you’d like, Bucky. I’ll grab your clothes and get them started. Okay?” 

She feels like if she gives him options, gives him the chance to make a decision he responds a little better, but only a little. He looks up, hand still trying to cover his shoulder and nods. She steps out of his way to let him pass. She can smell her shampoo and bodywash on him and it makes her smile for no reason at all. She wonders if he likes the way he smells, or if he even notices. 

She scoops up his clothes, notices the boxers on top and now she really is smiling. He’s naked under that blanket. He’s got to trust her to at least some extent she’d like to think. 

She dumps the clothes in the washer and starts it. She’s on her way to the living room, changes her mind and doubles back to the bedroom to get another blanket for him. He’s shivering because of what he’s going through, not just because he’s cold. She finds the softest blanket she can find, another fleece one, and brings it out to the living room. 

He’s sitting on the couch rubbing his left arm. That hasn’t changed. When he’s nervous or upset that’s his thing to try and calm himself. She drapes the other blanket over his shoulders and he jumps up from the couch. 

“Bucky, easy, easy,” she says coming around the couch and showing him the open blanket. “Look, it’s a softer blanket, to help keep you warm.”

“I-I’m sorry,” he stammers. He’s looking down at the floor again, and he’s shaking. 

“It’s alright, Bucky. I just thought...you’re still shivering, this blanket is soft and warm and I know you’re self conscious about your arm. If it helps, we can cover your arm and shoulder up. I’m not trying to hurt you. I just want you to calm down before you hurt yourself. Please.”

She sees the color come up on his cheeks showing his embarrassment, which was not her intention. 

“I’m sorry, Chase….goddammit,” he mumbles, cursing himself. 

“You’re not any calmer, are you?” she asks, knowing full well what the answer is.

“You tried, I’m just...I’m not…” 

She can see he’s struggling, he’s back to rubbing his arm again. 

“Did the shower help at all?”

“Yes.”

“Are you a little warmer in the blanket?”

“I am.”

“Do you think we can put this over your shoulders and see if we can keep you warm?” 

He nods his head. He sits back down and she drapes the blanket over his shoulders and pulls it so it’s almost overlapping on his chest. She scoops his hair up and pulls it up from underneath the blanket. When she leans back, his eyes are on her face, studying her. She knows that look. That lost, lonely look he gets when he feels isolated and afraid. And this Bucky...this may be all he feels is isolated and afraid.

She sits next to him on the couch and chews her lip. Move too fast and he’ll panic and run. Move too slow and he may panic and run anyway. 

She sees him pull the blanket tighter. He likes soft things. Given all he’s been through, that’s understandable. 

“Thank you,” Bucky says softly. 

“Are you a little warmer?”

“Yes. These blankets...they’re very soft,” he says snuggling into them more. She smiles. 

“One of the few things I needed to have when I... _ arrived _ as it were,” she tells him. He looks over at her, searching for something. 

“I saw you, in the rift while they were trying to pull you through. You were with Stark and a few others, taking on some huge alien.”

“You saw that, huh?” she asks. She reaches up to tuck his hair behind his hair ear and he flinches. She shows him her hand, he relaxes a bit and she proceeds. 

“Steve and Natasha say you’ve been to a couple of different dimensions.”

“This is true. But, we had an agreement, Bucky. Not until you’re calm.”

He nods his head, but makes no effort to hide his disappointment.

“Do you want something else to drink? Better yet, when was the last time you ate, Buck?” She’s really interested in hearing what he says, because based on the very, very lean amount of muscle on him it’s either not recently or not much.

“Yesterday. Lunchtime.”

“It’s been at least twenty-four hours since you ate, Bucky. You’re not green anymore -”

“I don’t want to eat, Chase. Most of the time it just…” he stops himself. Chase sits back. He’s struggling to keep food down. Are his nerves that bad? Jesus Christ...what if it’s something else?

“Baby, are you sick? Is there something else going on with you? Beyond the nerves?” She can’t stop the questions from coming out, she can’t hide her concern for him. 

He blinks slowly, those blue eyes showing something other than pain and anguish for a brief moment. She sees surprise.

“I’m not sick, Chase,” he says quietly. “I don’t get sick like that.”

“You really are trying to kill yourself slowly. You’ve let your loneliness and guilt consume you.”

“Speaking from experience, Chase?” he asks. There’s no sarcasm or malice in his voice. 

The conversation is heading in a direction that will likely cause more harm than good, especially with Bucky being as wound up as he is now. Granted he is calmer, but not by much. 

“Bucky…”

“I know, Chase. When you’re satisfied I’m settled down.”

“It’s partially my fault you’re like this. Mostly my fault, actually. The diner...I should have kept my mouth shut.”

“It wasn’t just the diner. When I saw you getting on the elevator, I saw the pain in your eyes when you looked at me…”

He’s getting restless again, she can see him breathing harder, the panic has him and it’s coming for her now, too. She shakes her head, one of them has to keep it together.


	96. We Aren't Talking About This

Bucky sits on the couch wrapped in two of the softest blankets he’s ever felt. She called them fleece. He’s seen them around, actually passed by a few in the shop with the girl with the horrible makeup on the other day. If he’d known they were this soft he may have splurged and gotten himself one. But that’s besides the point now. His inability to get this panic attack under control has now spread to Chase - who for reasons unknown has been trying to help him. 

She’s chewing her lower lip right now. He wishes she’d stop, pretty dames like this shouldn’t chew their lips and ruin them. He wishes he knew what to say to ease her mind, but he can’t even ease his own mind. He’s struggling to catch his breath again. She’s blaming herself. This also boggles his mind - he hurt her. Beyond just Marie, her mother, he hurt her some how, some way. 

“You’re shaking still, Bucky,” she says looking at him at last. He can see the red mark on her lip where she was chewing on it. 

“I’m sorry.” He doesn’t know what else to say. 

She sighs and looks down at her hands. He’s compelled to do the same and looks at his own. He flexes his fingers, the sight of his left hand making him feel uncomfortable. 

“This is what T’Challa gave you?”

He looks up and then over at Chase. She’s looking at his left hand. 

“It is.”

He sees her reach for his hand, but she hesitates. She’s debating something, asking, talking...he’s not sure what it is, but he can see she’s working through it in her head. 

“You’re not going to calm down while you’re here with me, Bucky.”

This hurts him. This is what she was thinking and it hurts him, because it’s true and he does not want it to be. He wants to know what she knows about him, but more importantly he’s dying to know why she’s trying to help him, why she’s being nice to him considering what he’s done to her. 

“Chase...I’m not...you don’t have to sugarcoat this. You don’t have to feel obliged to babysit me and spare my feelings. I’m a monster. I know what I am, I don’t expect you to think anymore of me than I do of myself, and I wish you would stop.”

She looks at him completely appalled at what he’d just said. He can feel his heart pounding faster in his chest, and his temples. 

“You’re not...oh my god….we’re not doing this, Buck. We just are not. You’re clothes are in the washer, I can order food if you feel like eating, I can get you a drink, but I’m not going to be the one to push you over the edge. I can’t and I won’t, but I also can’t let you fuck with me anymore.”

Now he’s thoroughly confused.  Fuck with her anymore? He wasn’t trying to fuck with her at all…

“Chase, I didn’t want to make you mad -”

“Stop, James. Stop. You didn’t make me mad. I’m worried.”

“About me?” he asks. He knows she’s going to say yes, at least he’s pretty goddamn sure she will, but he wants to know why. Why does she care? Why is she worried? What is she hiding?

“About us both. No more, James. Not now.”

She’s back to addressing him by his proper name, which means she’s no longer comfortable with him.  He’s wrapped up in her blankets with his clothes in her washer and he can see he’s upset her. 

“Chase...I am sorry. It wasn’t my intention to upset you -”

“I’m to blame, too. Will you eat?”

“No, but I will take you up on a drink. Ginger ale?”

“Ginger ale it is,” she says giving him a weak smile. She gets up and heads to the kitchen and he sits on the couch kicking himself for being so goddamn inept at talking to her, calming down, eating...he’s fucking useless. He’s fucking useless to everyone.


	97. Chase Has A Plan

Chase sits on the couch crying. She’d broke down right after Bucky left. The fact that she kept her composure that long is nothing short of a miracle. He flat out told her he’s a monster and she shouldn’t think any more of him than that. He was embarrassed about his entire left arm, to the point that he tried to cover it with his right hand. He didn’t want her to see it. And she couldn’t help but stare, even though she’d tried not to, even though she knows about his arm and what HYDRA did, the scarring is so much worse around his shoulder than she’d seen previously. This poor man is so fucking beyond broken - he thinks he’s not worth anyone’s effort and he’s all but given up. She couldn’t tell him what she knows. She couldn’t tell him how she knows him, what she’s been through with the other two Bucks. She couldn’t risk sending this Bucky over the edge and all the way into that pit of oblivion. She has to hold onto the hope that there is still some part of James Buchanan Barnes left inside him. 

He wants to know what she knows. He wants answers. He’d seen her at the elevator, and she’d not been able to mask the pain of seeing him. She made the mistake of saying that it was more than just Marie she knew about in the diner. He’d nearly broken down at the diner. Steve had to take him to medical once they were in the lobby. He can’t keep anything down because his nerves are so goddamn bad. And to top all of that off, he thinks so little of himself, believing that he’s nothing more than a monster.

Chase cries for him. She cries because she doesn’t know how to reach this Bucky without hurting him more. 

She wakes up sometime later. She must have fallen asleep on the couch. Cried herself to sleep, more likely.  

She sees an ad on the TV for a delicatessen that delivers not far from here. She’s struck with an idea. If he’s unable to calm down while he’s around her maybe she can tell him another way. And she can send a goodwill offering along, too. She calls the deli and places her order.


	98. Bucky Gets A Letter and Dinner

Bucky sits on his bed and wipes his eyes. He’s cold, he’s tired, and he’s alone again. She’d asked him if he wanted to stay, even though she wouldn’t tell him how she knew him, or what he’s done to her. She should hate him just on the fact that he killed her mother. She should have tried to hurt him, scream at him,  _ something _ . But she didn’t. She did just the opposite and tried to talk to him, tried to calm him, tried to take care of him. He finds this maddening and confusing. She’s too beautiful to concern herself with the likes of him. But he has to admit, it was nice to have someone try and be nice to him, try and help him.  She had held him briefly, her fingers in his hair, her hand on his chest. She was soft and warm and she smelled good. She’d helped him get his breathing under control and he’s still in awe of how she had done that. 

He wishes he was still there now. He wishes that he’d said yes to her offer to stay and try and eat something, even if he just picked at it, even if he had to excuse himself to let his body purge it. She was nice and he’s so undeserving of her time and attentions…

He hears the doorbell ring and his brow furrows. Who the fuck could that be? Steve? 

He gets up and goes to the door. He opens it and sees a brown paper bag in front of the door with the name of a delicatessen on the bag. He looks up and down the hall, but doesn’t see anyone. He can smell the unmistakable scent of chicken noodle soup. He picks up the bag and brings it inside. He puts it on the horrible coffee table and opens the bag. Inside is an envelope, on the front it says  _ Please Try To Eat The Soup Before You Open Me _ .

It’s written in a very neat penmanship, a dame’s handwriting. He grins, fairly certain he knows whose writing that is. The soup smells amazing. He turns the envelope over and there’s more writing.

_ Don’t you do it till you eat some soup. At least drink the damn broth. _

He laughs a little. He puts the envelope aside and carefully pulls the hot container of soup out of the bag. There’s even a spoon in the bag and some napkins and crackers. He opens the container and smells. He’s drooling, he’s definitely hungry, but with everything happening the past couple of days he’s not kept anything down. He decides the broth is the best way to go. He can drink that and see what’s in the envelope. 

He gets up and heads to the kitchen. He pours as much of the broth into one of the mugs he just bought, being careful to try and keep the solids out as much as possible. He covers the remainder of the soup and walks out to the living room with the piping hot mug of broth. He sits down and takes a sip, trying not to burn his lips or mouth. It is good. He gives himself a few moments to see how his stomach reacts. When there’s no reaction he takes another sip and then a third. He opens the envelope and pulls out a letter. Handwritten. He takes another sip and starts to read. 

_ Bucky, _

_ I know you want answers, and I can’t say I blame you. I just wish I could have done more to make you comfortable here. I hope the soup helps you out a little, and I hope what you’re about to read answers your questions and doesn’t make things any worse. I am worried about you. Maybe, hopefully after this you’ll understand why. _

 


	99. Bucky Thinks It Over

Bucky finishes reading the note for the third time. Tears are still streaming from his eyes, blurring his vision periodically and falling on the letter, smudging the ink. He wipes his eyes again. She’d sent him dinner and wrote him a letter in hopes of answering his questions. She’d made a valiant effort to try and put him at ease and give him what he needs (food) and what he wants (answers).

She’s been in three different worlds. One where none of them exist, and two others where they all exist. She knows about his arm, about what HYDRA did to him, how they brainwashed him, how they’d hurt him. She knows he served in World War Two, that he’d been captured and Steve had rescued him. She knows about Steve breaking through the programming and him running, trying to put his life back together. She knows about Steve risking everything and becoming a criminal to save him. She knows about Siberia. She knows about the Starks. She knows about Shuri and T’Challa trying to help him.

She knows all of this. She chose to look beyond what he’d done. Not once, but twice. Two different versions of himself. Two different versions of Steve. Two different versions of Tony. She didn’t go into great detail as to what happened in those worlds, only making mention that they’d know each other, intimately. He’s not sure if he should read into that or not. He also knows that both he and Steve have hurt her. Again, she didn’t go into detail, only saying that the first time the decision was made to throw her away like she was trash and the second time he and Steve just decided they didn’t feel the need to deal with her anymore. He doesn’t understand exactly what she means, but he gets the gist. Both Bucky and Steve in these other worlds were assholes and wronged her. And even after all of that, even after these other versions of himself hurt her, she’s still trying to help him. The last thing she put in her letter was that she doesn’t blame him for what happened. She doesn’t blame him for the death of her mother, HYDRA did that, he was just the gun, HYDRA pulled the trigger, and she doesn’t hold him responsible or accountable for the things the other Buckys did. She’s as much to blame as they are, and she won’t take what they did out on him.

He wipes his eyes again. She’s been hurt, she’s been thrown around different worlds like a ragdoll, she’s been subjected to an insane amount of cosmic energy that Steve told him no mortal has ever handled. But here she is, in his world, trying to reach out to him. He doesn’t deserve her efforts, but he can’t just tell her to fuck off and walk away. He can’t be rude to her like the others. She’s trying. Maybe he should try, too.


	100. Bucky Brings Chase Dinner

Chase is digging through the shopping bags Tony and Pepper dumped on her, finally getting around to going through them. Bras and drawers in one pile, jeans in another pile, tees and sweatshirts in another and all the dress clothes left in the boxes. Except the stupid cocktail dress. That she hung up. It’s nothing like the hunter green velvet one she’d gotten in the first universe with Tony and Pepper. She’d really liked that one. She hasn’t seen anything remotely close to it, and she’d made an effort in that damned store to try and find something classic looking that didn’t look whorish, like it was from 1983, or something great grandma Gert would wear. She had no luck. She ended up letting Pepper pick out that dress, and then argued nonstop that she only needed one dress and the odds of her wearing that one dress were closer to none than to slim. 

She’s just started loading the washer with the five hundred pairs of panties she’s now owner of when there’s a knock on the door. She ignores it. Who the hell is going to be knocking now? Tony would call, Pepper would call and Bucky...after that letter if he’s not in medical heavily sedated right now, then he’s never going to want to speak to her again. She knows too much about him. Even offering up what she could without going into the details of her fucking he and Steve both, it’s a fucking shit storm. She’d cried while writing the fucking letter. She’d cried while putting it in the envelope. She’d still been crying when she brought it down to his place. She’d cried on the way back, and she’d cried for another twenty minutes after she got inside her apartment. It wasn’t until about an hour ago she’d stopped crying and decided to do something productive. Aside from dwelling on the past. 

The knocking starts again, a little harder this time. She drops the lid to the washer, tells it to fuck off and goes to the door.

She opens the door and is beyond shocked to see Bucky standing there, the letter in one hand and the bag from the delicatessen in the other. Her heart drops. He’s bringing this stuff back. Here’s your letter, here’s your goddamn food, go fuck yourself. This thought keeps her from being able to say anything or look at him.

“Chase?”

If she can answer him and hold it together long enough for him to give her this shit back she’ll call it a win.

“James.”

“I bought you dinner.”

The world seems to have lost its goddamn mind and her head feels woozy. She imagined what she just heard. He didn’t say that. No. He probably said take your dinner or something.

“What?” she asks stupidly, looking up at him. He’s so fucking gaunt and tired looking and Jesus Fuck he’s been crying, his eyes are red and puffy…

“I bought you dinner. Us. I bought us dinner. I won’t eat much. I didn’t know...can I come in?”

She blinks a few times. Is this what it feels like when you lose your goddamn mind?

“Chase?” He sounds worried. 

“You...you bought dinner?”

“Are you alright?”

“Yes,” she answers while she shakes her head no. He shakes his head no with her. He tilts his head to the side and furrows his brow. What the fuck is happening here?

She shakes her head and opens the door the rest of the way for him to come in - provided that’s what he wants. She’s still not sure. 

He steps inside and she shuts the door behind him.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” she says not entirely sure if she is or not. “Why did you buy dinner?”

“Show of goodwill,” he answers and smiles a bit. He hands her the bag. 

“What did you get? Didn’t you eat?”

“I had some of the broth, like you suggested on the envelope,” he tells her. She sees he’s grinning a bit more. 

“Did you keep it down?”

“Yes. Thank you,” he says looking at her letter. She opens the bag and there’s more chicken soup and something else.

“Chicken soup?” she asks. She’s not sure what he’s trying to accomplish.

“And cheesecake. For you, for dessert.”

She looks up at him. She’s more than a little moved by the effort he’s trying to make.

“You didn’t have to do this,” she whispers. 

“Neither did you.”

“Are you still hungry?”

“Maybe a little,” he admits sheepishly. 

“Do you want to try to eat the noodles?”

“A few?” He’s not sure, and to Chase it sounds like he’s asking for her permission. She nods her head. 

“We can try. Do you want to take your shoes off? Do you want a bowl or a mug?” She clamps her mouth shut, afraid she’s not going to stop talking. 

“Yes and a mug. Did they give us crackers?” he asks, stepping toward her a bit trying to peer into the bag. She holds the bag open for him to look. He cocks his head and reaches in, pulling out the rather large container with the cheesecake and then digging around in the bag. He pulls out a couple of packets of crackers and smiles.

“Want to come with me into the kitchen?” she asks. She’s got this ridiculous notion that if she walks away from him one of them is going to vanish and that idea has her jittery and on edge right now. 

“Okay,” he says kicking off his shoes and then pushing them towards the other shoes. She smiles and leads him to the kitchen. He sits down at the island and she puts the bag on the  island in front of him and grabs two large mugs. She can hear him playing with the cracker packs and she smiles. She puts the cheesecake in the fridge and then pours soup out for them both and gets them both spoons. Bucky is still playing with crackers, crushing the pack up with his fingers on his right hand. She crushes up some crackers and stirs them into her soup.

“Was it any good?” she asks as she stirs.

“The soup?”

“The soup, silly.”

He grins bashfully.

“The broth was. Almost like Steve’s mom used to make.”

Chase laughs a bit. 

“Nothing beats mom’s home cooking,” she agrees. She tastes the soup. Not bad. Better than a can of Campbells at any rate. She watches him fish out some of the soup, but he’s still shaking enough that it sloshes back into the cup. She looks at her spoon, sets it on the island and lifts the cup to drink. He follows her lead, drinking slowly. 

“Is it sitting okay?” she asks after a little bit. He licks his lips and nods.

“Seems to be. Guess maybe greasy burgers aren’t the best idea when you’re...you know…”

“You’ll get around to eating greasy burgers with no issues soon enough,” she promises. She’s hoping that will be true, that he’ll start to come around. 

“That would be nice. Those burgers are pretty good at the diner.”

“Yeah?”

“Surprisingly enough,” he says. He looks thoughtful for a moment. “Can I ask you something?”

“You can, but I reserve the right not to answer,” she says playfull, hoping he picks up on that. He smiles a very little bit.

“Why are you being so nice after everything I’ve put you through?”

“Ah. I told you, I don’t hold you accountable for what the other two did or what HYDRA made you do. That would be like you holding me responsible for something Steve did.”

“I did those things, Chase.”

We’re back on this. 

“What did I tell you in the letter, Buck?” she asks before taking another sip of soup. He opens the letter and scans it.

“I was just the gun, HYDRA pulled the trigger.”

“Do you understand what I meant?”

“I was the weapon, HYDRA was the actual killer. But -”

“No. You can argue that point all you like, but it’s not going to change my perception.”

“She was your mother.”

“Who put me up for adoption so Howard didn’t go fucking apeshit. I never met her. I never knew her. Hell, Bucky, I don’t remember most of my goddamn life prior to a few years ago,” she tells him. He’s immediately saddened by this, the sorrow in his eyes forces her to look away.

“I know what that’s like, Chase. I know how hard that is.”

She looks at him and he’s looking into his mug. She can see his breathing has picked up again. 

“It is. It sucks. But, I remember things now. Good, bad, indifferent. I plan on holding onto those memories as long as I can.”

He looks up. 

“Build new ones.”

“You’ve got the idea,” she says and smiles. He grins a little. 

“Can I ask something else?”

“By all means.”

“Do you like cheesecake?”

Chase laughs. The question caught her off guard and she laughs because it’s so innocent and sweet.

“I love cheesecake. Is it plain or…”

“I didn’t know what kind you’d like so I got plain. They don’t really have many options other than plain, cherry or marble.”

“Aww, you’re so goddamn sweet,” she says. She reaches across the table to caress his face and he flinches. She pulls her hand back, feeling foolish for trying. 

“Chase...I’m sorry -”

“No, I’m sorry. That was...I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

 


	101. Slow Moving

Bucky feels like a fucking asshole now. She’d reached out to touch him, and he’d flinched. It’s an involuntary reaction. He’s used to being hit, punched, beaten. He’s not used to soft touches, and because of that he’s made her feel bad. He can see the flush of color on her cheeks and she won’t look at him now. What’s worse is he’s sure if he tries to fix it that he’ll only make things worse. But he’s got to try. She’s made every effort with him, he has to try to make one with her.

He reaches across the table, laying his hand palm up, fingers slightly bent. His hope is she’ll take his hand. He sees her look at his hand, considering for a moment. 

“Are you finished?” she asks softly. She’s gathering up the empty cracker packs along with her mug. He can feel the walls she’s put up, not just see them. She may not hold him accountable for what the others did to her, but she’s also going to protect herself from him. She’d put herself out there and because he’s a damned fool and didn’t realize she only wanted to touch him, she’s now put up a barrier. 

“I am. I can help -”

“It’s alright. I’ve got it,” she says. She doesn’t look at him, her eyes stay down as she takes his mug and rinses the remnants of the soup down the drain. He takes a deep breath and gets up from his seat.  He’s got one chance….

He walks up behind her, willing his nerves to settle and his stomach to be calm. 

“I didn’t mean to cringe away from you, Chase,” he whispers. He puts his hands on her shoulders and she tenses immediately. He pulls his hands away, scared to death he’s royally fucked up. He hears her sigh deeply. 

“Familiarity breeds contempt. Have you ever heard that saying?” she asks without turning around.

“I have. That isn’t what’s happening here. I’m not familiar with you. I wasn’t expecting you to try and touch me. The last time I saw a hand come at me…” he stops, because going any further and he’s going to lose his composure and his dinner. 

She turns around and looks at him. 

“I’m familiar with you, though.”

“No,” he says pointing to her letter on the island. “You’re familiar with others, not me.”

She’s considering this.

“You told me you wouldn’t hold me accountable for them,” he continues, hoping he can keep his shit together.

“I did, didn’t I?”

“Maybe they were used to being handled gently, maybe not. I don’t know. I know I am not. I’m not...I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be treated like a human instead of a wild animal.” He’s struggling, he’s really struggling right now and his stomach is warning him he’s going to lose this battle in short order….

Her eyes soften, showing only worry and concern for him now. He swallows, his stomach rolls...please let this work out…

“Will you let me hug you?”

He can only nod his head. She puts her arms around him, pressing herself against his body, and hugs him tightly. He’s afraid to move, lest he screws this up, too.

“It’s okay to hug me back, Bucky,” she whispers. He puts his arms around her, buries his face in her neck, and fights back the tears.  

“I’m sorry,” he whispers, “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s alright, Bucky,” she soothes. She’s rubbing his back slowly, still keeping him in her arms. “It was my mistake.”

“No -”

“It was. You’ve been through so much more than I anticipated, or can imagine. You’re not like the others, Bucky, not at all. I’m just as unfamiliar with you as you are with me.”

He lifts his head slowly. His stomach is in knots still. When he looks into her eyes this time he sees warmth, caring, concern...he feels a little lightheaded.

“Easy, baby, easy. Come on, come sit with me in the living room,” she says helping guide him out of the kitchen, her arm around his waist. He drapes his arm over her shoulders and she takes his hand. They get to the couch and she lets him slide out of her arms and onto the couch. 

“I’m alright,” he says, knowing full well he’s lying and not sure why he’s doing that.

“Stay put. I’ll be right back,” she says heading to the kitchen. She comes back a moment later with a ginger ale, puts it on the coffee table and then disappears again towards the bathroom. She comes back with a washcloth. 

“You look a little green, Bucky. Sometimes this helps,” she says showing him the washcloth. 

“I’m not trying to ruin dinner,” he says attempting to make a poor joke. 

“I know. Can I ask you something now?” 

“Please do,” he says giving her a weak smile.

“Were you alright with me holding you before?”


	102. Keeper Of The Flame

 

Bucky’s trying to decide if this is a dream or not. She just asked him if he was alright when she’d held him earlier. He was and he wasn’t. He’s not used to this kind of gentle attention. He’s not used to someone wanting to help him like this. He’s not used to someone other than Steve giving a shit about him. But, she had somehow managed to slow his breathing, and she was soft and warm, and when she played with his hair it felt...it felt  _ good _ . Goddammit, it all felt good, but he doesn’t know how to tell her that, how to say he wants more when he has nothing to offer her in return. 

“Bucky?”

“Why are you doing this, Chase?”

”Doing what?” She asks. He can see his question confused her a bit. 

“Being nice, helping me. Holding me…” he trails off because he doesn’t know what else to say without sounding like an ungrateful prick.

“Honestly?”

“Honestly.”

“Because no matter how hard I try and avoid you, no matter how badly some version of you has hurt me...I’m drawn to you. Like an idiot moth to the flame. I know I’m going to get burned, but I can’t help myself.”

He sits down on the couch because he thinks he’s going to fall now. She hurts. And she fully expects him to hurt her, just like the others did. He thinks that if ever he crosses paths with any of these versions of himself he’s going to beat them to a fucking pulp. 

“I don’t want to hurt you, Chase. I’m not them.”

She shrugs and gnaws on her lip. He wishes she’d stop doing that. The thought crosses his mind that he could kiss her and that would get her to stop.  He immediately counters that thought with she’d never kiss someone who looks like he does. 

He can feel her eyes on him and he looks over at her. She’s unreadable. Pretty goddamn good trick for a dame. 

“They did a number on you, didn’t they, doll?”

“Your counterparts used to call me that, too. I’ve learned to despise that pet name. And the only reason they did is because I let them.”

“You let them hurt you,” he repeats disbelievingly.

“Maybe not the first time, but the second time I did. First time hurt the worst, though,” she tells him. She goes back to chewing on her lip. 

“Why did you go back after the first time? Why do it again now?” he asks.

“Because I’m drawn to that flame. I get burned and just come back for more, dumbass moth that I am.”

“You’re no moth, Chase. You’re a goddamn phoenix. The thing that consumes you is the same that gives you new life.”

“You make it sound much more grand than it really is,” she says with a smile. “I’m just a brainless moth, Bucky. One who seemingly never learns her lesson.”

He hurts. He hurts for this girl. This pretty girl who just keeps going after someone who can’t love her or won’t. And here she is again. A third Bucky. A third trip into the inferno. 

“Those others were fucking idiots, Chase. Any guy who’d willingly hurt you, or walk away from you for whatever reason isn’t worth the skin he’s printed on,” he growls. He’s pissed off, not at her, but at the situations she’s found herself in. 

“I’m no saint, Bucky. I’m no angel.”

“Do you think I am?”

“I never said that,” she says getting defensive. 

“I don’t want to hurt you. I won’t -”

“You will,” she says tiredly. “It’ll happen and I’ll get bounced to another world -”

“Chase.” He’d snapped at her, making her jump a little. 

“James.”

“Is this your goal? Find me, woo me, rush things until something happens and I inadvertently hurt you just to get this over with? You don’t actually feel anything for me. I’m just a means to an end,” he says. He feels the tears in his eyes again. He feels stupid for having thought there was anything more to this. 

“If that’s what you actually think, there’s the door, Buck. If you think I’m an emotionless despot, then walk away and don’t look back.”

She gets up from the couch and walks back toward the bedroom. 

He sits on the couch torn between walking away because part of him thinks she’s using him or going after her and seeing what happens, risking getting to know her and letting her get to know him because part of him believes that she may be the key to his salvation.

He gets up and heads to the bedroom. She’s sitting on the bed crying. She sees him and wipes her eyes quickly. 

“I’m not going to walk away, Chase. I’m not like them. I don’t want to be like them.”


	103. Bucky and Chase Compromise

 

Chase sits on the bed and wipes her eyes again. Bucky,  this version of Bucky, is standing in the doorway to the bedroom telling her he doesn’t want to walk away like the others. He’s got tears in his eyes - those blue eyes that can’t hide his pain and anguish, the torment, the loneliness, the fear… And she’s drawn to this one so much more than the others. 

“I thought you were under the impression I was just using you. Means to an end.”

“I don’t know what to think, Chase. I really don’t. I’m scared of you. I don’t know what a pretty dame like you would see in...this,” he says motioning to his left arm. “I’m a goddamn mon-“

“Stop that!” She snaps and he cringes. “You’re not a monster, Bucky. I told you I don’t see you like that. I know what they did to you, baby. I know you didn’t have any control. I know that you hurt, Bucky. I know you feel isolated and alone. I can see it in your eyes, baby. I don’t know that feeling to the extent you do, but I have an idea,” she says softly. She swipes at her eyes, batting away fresh tears. 

He takes a cautious step forward into the bedroom. He’s legitimately going to give himself a heart attack. He’s sweating again. She shoves the clothes into a bag to make room for him and he closes the gap and climbs onto the bed next to her. He puts his hand on hers and she pulls him into her arms. 

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles, holding onto her tightly. “I’m so sorry.”

He’s shaking again. Her heart aches so badly. The odds of him hurting her like the others is almost a certainty, but there is a slim chance he may not. That maybe this time she’ll get it right. Maybe this Bucky does need her. But god, she’s already emotionally involved in his well being to the point that she’s crying over him. If he hurts her...if this is just another failed attempt at the travesty known as love...even if she stays in this world, death would be better. She won’t survive another heartbreak. But, he may not survive if he doesn’t find a way to pull himself out of this goddamn hole he’s dug himself. His self loathing is so intense he’s convinced himself he’s subhuman. If there is any part of James Buchanan Barnes left,  he’s vanishing quickly.

“Chase?”

He’d said something and she hadn’t heard him because she was lost in her own thoughts. 

“Bucky.”

“I think...I’d like to be held.”

“You’re soaked again.”

“I know. I feel like hell,” he admits. 

“You want to go play in the tub while I run your clothes through again? Better yet, where the hell are the rest of your goddamn clothes?” she asks, wondering if this is the only outfit this poor man has. 

“I have some other things, bought some stuff, but I haven’t gotten around to washing anything.”

“If you go get them, I’ll wash them. You’ll have all clean clothes by the end of the night, tomorrow morning at the latest.”

“I can’t ask you to do that, Chase.”

“You didn’t. I offered.”

He mulls this over and shakes his head no. 

“I don’t want you to think I’m using you. I don’t want to be a burden.”

“If I tell you that you aren’t will it make any difference?”

“No.”

“Fair enough,” she says and sighs. He’s sitting up next to her rubbing his arm again. 

“What if we make a trade?” she asks after a few minutes.

“What kind of trade?” he asks suspiciously.

“I’ll do your laundry if you chill out here and make every effort to calm down. I’m not your enemy, Bucky. I don’t want to be your enemy. I want to be…”

“Be what?” he presses. She can feel his eyes on her, and she looks at him. He’s searching for an answer, but she can tell he’s hoping for a particular response from her.

“Friends. For now. Whatever happens now, happens. I just don’t want what’s left of James Barnes to vanish altogether.”

“I don’t know that there’s anything left of him, Chase. I don’t want you to waste your time -”

“It’s my time, Bucky. I’ll waste it how I see fit,” she says cutting him off. “If I choose to spend it on you, I don’t see that as a waste.”

“I think you’re wrong,” he says softly.

“Yeah, well, I think you’re wrong, and luckily for us I’m a stubborn jackass.”

He smirks, and tries to hide it.

“Stubborn I will grant you. Jackass, no.”

“You want to stick around long enough to find out?” she asks with a smile.

“Yes.” He didn’t hesitate in the least with that answer. 

“Will you bring over your clothes?”

“No.”

“Hmmm.”

“You don’t have to do my goddamn laundry to coerce me to stick around.”

He shivers after he says this. The bedroom is getting noticeably colder. 

“I’ll do your laundry because I’ve got a shit ton of my own to do and I can just get everything done. How’s that?” she asks, getting off the bed. He’s shivering and she’s cold now, too. She checks the thermostat, tilting her head to look at it. 

“Sixty-five,” Bucky says. She jumps because he was on the bed two seconds ago and now he’s behind her. He puts his hands on her arms and rubs his hands up and down her arms. 

“You’d think he’d have digital shit in here,” she mutters. She adjusts the temp up to seventy-five, hoping to get Bucky to warm up and stay warm. 

“I didn’t mean to scare you,” he says letting go of her arms. 

“You’re alright. It’s going to be cold tonight. I’ll sweeten the deal for you, baby. You bring your laundry, soak in the tub for a while, have some tea, and calm down a bit and I’ll give you that super soft fleece blanket you were curled up with earlier.”

His eyes light up.

“I’ll agree to this on one condition,” he says giving her a faint smile.

“Do tell,” she says greatly interested in what he’s going to add to this.

“Curl up with me in the blanket, Chase.”

 


	104. More Bucky and Chase

Bucky is on his way back to Chase’s apartment with what few clothes he has. He’s cold, his sweat soaked clothes chilling him. He’s wiped out, with all that’s happened the past couple of days and not being able to keep anything down for long, if at all. But here he is headed to Chase’s apartment, with his clothes for her to wash at her insistence. She’d tempted him with a warm place, a hot bath, clean clothes, and that insanely soft fleece blanket she’d wrapped around him. He’d pressed his luck by asking her to cuddle with him in said blanket and much to his surprise and delight she had agreed. He still doesn’t know why she sees him as anything more than what he is, but pressing the issue with her pisses her off and she snarls at him like a wild cat. He stops in the hallway and thinks about how fitting that is for her. She is a wild cat. He grins and keeps going. He wants her to see he’s not these other Buckys she’s encountered. He wants her to know he won’t do that dumb shit, and that he’s incredibly thankful she’s even bothering to give him the time of day, much less try and take care of him. And god have mercy, she is trying to take care of him. Holding him, sending him food, coaxing him into eating even more, washing his clothes, letting him take a shower, wrapping him in those blankets…

He’s smiling like an idiot when he gets to her door. He knocks and waits. The door opens and he can see she’s on the phone. She motions for him to come inside.

“I’m not going to your fancy little shindig, Tony….No…..No….It’s a two letter word, why are we struggling with this tonight?”

Bucky can’t help but grin at her sarcastic wit. She looks over at him and rolls her eyes. 

“Tony...because I don’t want to go...oh my fucking...okay, okay, when is it….You’re really going to make me wear that goddamned dress aren’t you….I don’t like it, no….I tried to find something else...because it looks like something great-grandma Ethel would wear if she went out whoring, that’s why!”

Bucky snorta and then covers his mouth quickly to stifle his laughter. This girl’s a trip. Is this normal behaviour? Has she been keeping this feistiness under wraps because she was afraid he wouldn’t like it?

“I said I would go...I will try and find something more suitable for my tastes...I hope she kicks your ass, Tony. Go the fuck to bed,” Chase laughs and then hangs up. Bucky is still grinning and chuckling a little. 

“I didn’t mean to intrude,” he says apologetically. 

“He’s being difficult. I told him I don’t do dress up fancy schmancy shit and here we are arguing over it.”

“Great-grandma Ethel’s whoring dress?” He can’t help himself, he barely keeps from laughing as he says it. She’s smiling and goddamn this is the first time he's seen her genuinely smile and she’s beautiful. 

“Pepper picked it out, it’s fugly as hell.”

“Fugly is a new one. Is it really that bad?”

“Want to come look? You can see Ethel’s Whorehouse Dress and then get in the tub if you want,” she offers. He grins. The hits just keep coming. 

“I brought what I have,” he says looking down at his clothes in his arms, that include the unopened packages of socks, boxers and t-shirts. 

“You really weren’t kidding, baby,” she muses as she takes the unopened packages from him. He shivers again, he can’t seem to get warm right now. 

“Didn’t have much to begin with,” he tells her. She smiles and they head back towards her bedroom. 

“It’s at the back of the closet. Hidden. Look for the sequins all over the floor. I think it’s shedding,” she says. She’s dropped the packages on the bed and is opening the boxers, pulling them out and unfolding them one by one. She’s not even phased by the sight of them. He furrows his brow, not sure how he’s supposed to feel about that, and decides to let it go and heads into the walk-in closet. At the very back is the dress and there are, in fact, sparkly things all over the floor around it. It’s black and gold and it doesn’t look comfortable or flattering. 

He comes out of the closet and she’s just finishing up emptying the packages. 

“You want to go play in the tub? I’ll get your clothes after you’re safely submerged or I can just wait till you’re done.”

“I’d rather just do a hot shower. I’m not really one for tubs and marinating in my own juices.”

She wrinkles her nose and makes a disgusted face and he can’t help but laugh a little. 

“Good god, I’ll never look at taking a bath the same again,” she mutters. 

“Sorry.”

“Nope, all good. Go get your shower. Do you want the blanket to wrap yourself in?”

“Yeah. Not the super soft one, though, you said we could use that one later,” he reminds her. He can hear how eager he sounds and he can’t help himself. She smiles warmly.

“I was thinking of having you use the one from before. Let me grab it,” she says disappearing into the closet. She comes out a moment later with the blanket and hands it to him. He takes it, his fingertips brushing over her hands. He impulsively puts his arms around her and hugs her, not entirely sure what the hell he’s thinking doing this. She puts her arms around him and he pulls her a little closer, entranced by the soft scent of her skin and the warmth of her body. She rests her face against his and then leans back. 

“Go get in the shower, baby.”

He nods his head, and slowly lets her go. She smiles at him and he heads to the bathroom. He strips quickly and gets in the shower.  The scent of the coconut body wash fills the bathroom again. He’s lucky. Damn lucky. He’s back in her place, in her shower, twice in one day, she’s washing his clothes and he gets to cuddle with her in that stupidly soft fleece blanket that she has gifted to him. And all he has to do is calm the fuck down. He’s trying. He’s trying so fucking hard, but he’s still terrified he’s going to fuck this up somehow and she’s going to end up hating him in the end regardless. He doesn’t want that. He wants her to like him. She said they could be friends. He wants that. He wants to be able to see her smile like she did when she was talking about the dress. Maybe, eventually, they can be more than friends. Maybe, eventually, he’ll get his goddamn shit together and he can show her he’s not a fucking asshole like the others and that he can do right by her. 

He finishes up in the shower and dries off, running his fingers through his hair again. He used her conditioner this time, too, and his hair is so much easier to get through now. Dames have the best shit. 

He wraps the blanket around himself, picks his clothes up off the floor and steps out of the bathroom. The exposed areas of his skin are still wet in places and the cold air makes him shiver and his teeth chatter. 

“Hey, hey, easy,” she says coming from the bedroom just as he was about to step in. “Come here, I’ll wrap you in the other blanket.”

“What about the couch?” he protests, because all he wants to do now is sit with her under the blanket and be warm.

“We’ll get to it, baby. I’m going to get your clothes started and get in the shower. Stay wrapped up till I’m done and then we can curl up under the blanket. I won’t be long,” she promises. She drapes the softer fleece blanket over his shoulders. She doesn’t flinch or look disgusted by his arm and the scars, but she is very careful with his left side. When she gets him wrapped to her liking she smiles. He sees her raise her hand, but she stops and lets it fall. Was she going to try and touch his face? 

“Chase -”

“You’re alright. You can stay in here and watch TV or you can go into the living room. Staying in here will give you the option of climbing under the covers if you should get cold. Or if you get sleepy, you can lay down and not worry about throwing your back out on the goofy goddamn couch.”

“You’re alright if I stay in here?” he asks, hoping that was a genuine offer. The room is warm and it’s her bedroom and he’s fucking exhausted. Crawling under the covers right now sounds like heaven...even if he can’t fall asleep.

“Go on, pull the covers back and get comfortable. I’ll be done in a little bit.”

She leaves the room and he can hear the washer starting. Then he hears the bathroom door open and close and the exhaust fan come on. He pulls the covers back on the bed, unwraps the big fleece from his shoulders, crawls under the covers and then spreads the big fleece blanket over the bed as best he can so she’ll have some, too. He puts his head on the pillow, looking up at the ceiling and listening to the steady hum of the washer from the hall. 


	105. He's Getting There

Chase steps into the bedroom still towel drying her hair, another towel wrapped around her body. Bucky is on his side, clutching one of her pillows to his chest, the fleece blanket spread over the bed for them both.  He’s asleep, but not peacefully. He jerks a bit, clutches the pillow a little tighter and whines softly. He settles down, and is quiet again, the steady rise and fall of him breathing easily seen under the blankets. 

She gets dressed quietly and then the debate begins. He’s exhausted, clearly, but does she go and crash in the living room and leave him to his own devices or does she try and get comfortable on the bed next to him without disturbing him? She’s not really tired, so the couch seems like the best option. But...if he’s like the other Buckys, he’ll wake up and panic because he won’t know where he is, or he’ll think she’s abandoned him. She doesn’t want him to panic anymore than he already has, and she doesn’t want him to think she’s left him alone. He’s trying to get through this, it seems. He came back over, he took a shower, his clothes and some of hers are now in the dryer, he ate a little more for her, and here he is under the covers trying to sleep. She makes up her mind and heads to the living room to grab the Macbook. 

She comes back into the bedroom a few moments later and he’s in the fetal position, curled up around her pillow. This poor man...her heart aches so badly for him. She tries to get onto the bed as quietly as possible, but the moment there’s a shift in the covers Bucky’s eyes are open and he’s sitting up right. 

“Bucky, it’s okay. Look at me,” she tells him. She’s afraid to reach for him in case he’s still in a dream and views her as a threat. 

He looks around and she can see he’s confused.

“Bucky?”

“Am I awake?” he asks finally looking at her. “I’m awake and I’m in your room, right?”

“You are. You were sleeping when I got out of the shower.”

“Goddammit,” he mutters. “I’m sorry, Chase.”

“For what?”

“Falling asleep. I didn’t mean to. I was waiting for you to come out of the bathroom and I don’t know what happened.” 

He’s sitting with his hands in his lap, looking down at the blankets. He seems like he’s afraid he’s upset her somehow.

“Bucky, you’re exhausted. You got comfortable - which is what I’d asked you to do - and you nodded off. There’s no shame to it. I didn’t mean to wake you. I just didn’t want you to wake up and think I’d left you alone,” she explains. He looks up and then over to her looking perplexed by this. 

“You didn’t have to do that...but thank you for doing it,” he says softly. 

“Were you dreaming?”

“I wouldn’t call it that.”

“Nightmare?”

“Yeah.”

“Are you alright?”

He looks around the room again and then rubs his eyes tiredly. 

“I think so,” he says and then sighs. “Thank you for this.”

“You’re welcome, baby.”

He grins shyly when she calls him baby. 

“What were you going to do if I hadn’t woke up?” he asks looking at the Mac. 

“Look for a goddamn dress,” she grumbles. Now he’s definitely grinning. The timer on the dryer goes off and she slides off the bed. He follows. 

“I’m just going to restart the dryer. You don’t have to come along if you don’t want to,” she tells him. He shrugs. 

“Ever have a dream that was so real that when you wake up you’re a million percent certain that it happened, but you know it’s only a dream and that fact makes you feel like hell?”

“Several times.”

“That’s what I think this is. I think, right now, if you walk out of the room and out of my sight, I’m going to wake up for real and none of this would have happened. I’ll either be alone here, or in Wakanda or some other place. It sounds clingy and needy and stupid.”

She knows that feeling all too well. She knows what it’s like to wake up and realize that the good things weren’t real, but the bad things are. 

“It’s not clingy, needy or stupid, Bucky. You haven’t just been through Hell, you’ve been through layers of Hell. Dante’s Inferno style Hell. The only consolation I can give you is that if you’re dreaming this, than so am I.”

He steps closer to her, holding the blanket closed with his left hand. The scars...Jesus Christ…

“I still want to come with you. Please.”

The please is what gets her, just like it always does with him. 

She nods her head and holds out her hand. He willingly takes it, lacing his fingers with hers and she leads him from the bedroom to the dryer. He leans against the washer as she checks the clothes and cleans the lint trap before restarting the dryer again. 

“I want you to drink something. Water, tea, soda...I’ll go to the store and get Gatorade if you want,” she says as she balls up the lint in her hand. 

“Water. Unless we go out together. It’s dark out, it’s cold and I’ve seen some scary fuckers in the two days I’ve been here,” he says firmly. 

“Present company excluded?” she jokes. He smiles. 

“Present company is definitely excluded.”

“You don’t want tea?”

“Not really. Water and...do you have aspirin?”

“Does your head still hurt, baby?” She’s dying to touch his face, reach out and run her fingers through his hair, but she doesn’t want him to cringe or think she’s being too forward - at least any more forward than she currently is. 

“A little. Not like it was, thank god.”

“You’re calmer.”

He thinks about this and then smiles brightly. She’s pretty sure her heart just melted. 

“I am. That’s because of your help. Thank you.”

She shifts the lint ball from one hand to the other to keep herself from reaching for him. 

“You kept your end of the trade agreement,” she jokes. “Come on, I’ll get you a glass of water. I don’t have aspirin, but I’ve got Tylenol.”

“Okay. You’re going to look online for a dress?” he asks. 

“That’s the idea,” she answers, still playing with the lint ball. He takes her hand in his and laces their fingers together again. He wants attention so badly. He wants to be loved and comforted. Most importantly he wants to feel safe and accepted. 

She smiles and they head to the kitchen. She gets him a glass of water and then fishes out the Tylenol from her bag to give him some. He downs two full glasses of water and half of a third.

“Want to take that back to the bedroom with you? Or do you want to sit out on the couch and I’ll grab the blanket and the Mac?”

“Would you be upset if I said the bedroom? I’m not pushing for anything,” he adds quickly. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to stay in there if you don’t want to.”

She bites her lip while she considers this. He’s going to be more comfortable and more apt to go to sleep in the bedroom. Sleep is what he needs. They’re both adults, he’s too high strung it seems to do anything more than cuddle and sleep. And even if he does make a pass at her, she’ll tell him no once. If he does it again after that, she’ll know he’s no better than the other ones and she can wash her hands of this, have her heart break, and drink herself into oblivion till she doesn’t feel anything. 

She hasn’t answered yet and he’s cocked his head to the side, watching her intently. 

“I wish you wouldn’t do that,” he says tenderly. “Don’t ruin your lips like that,” he adds and then runs his thumb just under her lower lip. He drops his hand quickly once he realizes what he’s doing.

“You’re alright, Bucky,” she tells him. He thinks about this for a second, takes her hand and presses her palm to his cheek. He closes his eyes as he keeps her hand there. 

“I didn’t mean to flinch at dinner,” he says letting her hand go. She keeps her hand on his cheek and runs her fingers lightly over his beard. He smiles, and cautiously takes her other hand and holds it. 

“Learning experience for us both,” she says and then scratches his chin. 

“It needs cleaned up,” he admits running his fingers over the sides of his beard.

“Want to come help me find a dress?”

He smiles brilliantly. 

“Absolutely.”

 


	106. Time For Bed

Bucky is leaned against the washer while Chase hunts for a pair of the boxers he’d brought over. His balls are sticking to his thighs and it’s not really the nicest sensation. She’s caught him adjusting himself a few times and smirked. The last time she’d offered to see if his clothes were done. She’s in black jogging pants and a dark blue oversized shirt. He wonders if that’s what she sleeps in or if she takes off the pants, or if she takes off everything and sleeps naked. His cock stirs under the blanket and he pushes these thoughts away. He’s not going to fuck this up. She’s made no indication she’s attracted to him like that. And if she was what the fuck is he going to do? He’s still recovering from the panic attack, he’s exhausted, he’s dehydrated...he’d end up disappointing her so badly she’d never be able to look at him again. 

“Whatever you’re dwelling on, stop.”

He looks at her, she’s still on her haunches in front of the dryer, but she’s been watching him and she’s picked up on him making himself uncomfortable. 

“They have to train people to do what you do, you know that, right?” he asks, trying to change the subject. She skews an eyebrow at him and then smiles a little. 

“Uh huh. Nice try, slim,” she says standing up and handing him his boxers. “You want a t-shirt, too?”

He looks at his left arm and flexes the fingers. She’s seen him without the shirt, she’s mostly okay with it. He’s more comfortable without it if he were to fall back asleep…

“No, thanks.”

She nods, and closes the dryer door so she can restart it again. 

“Want to go put those on and I’ll wait in the bedroom?” she asks. He nods, but he doesn’t move. He’s still battling that gnawing feeling that if he lets her out of his sight she’s going to disappear. 

“I can wait right here or I can close my eyes while you pull them on.”

There’s some of the feistiness from before. 

“I’m just worried that if I let you out of my sight you’ll vanish,” he says feeling foolish. He rubs his left arm nervously. She takes his hand and entwines her fingers with his. 

“I’ll cover my eyes and you can put them on,” she barters. She lets go of his hand and covers her eyes. He grins. He’s suddenly curious what she would think of him if she saw him completely naked. He wonders if when she said she’d know the others intimately if she’d meant sexually, if she’d been impressed with  them, if she would be impressed with him. He looks down at himself, his abs, his thighs, his cock. He doesn’t know what she would think, he can’t even wager a guess. He pulls the boxers up and adjusts himself. If he ever wants to find out, he’s going to have to make every effort to get his shit together and convince her he’s not going to hurt her.

“Good,” he says softly. He reaches for her face, but hesitates. She opens her eyes and sees his outstretched arm. She takes his hand and they go back to the bedroom. 

“Go ahead and climb under the covers. I’ve got to adjust the thermostat. It’s too warm in here now,” she tells him. He thinks it is a little warm in here, but not too bad. She’s clearly uncomfortable, though. 

“You don’t like being hot, do you?” he observes. She shakes her head no.

“There’s only so much you can take off and you’re still hot and then you’re a threat to public decency,” she tells him. He laughs. He prefers being warm, for obvious reasons. 

“I’ll give you that. But you can’t enjoy the beach in the winter.”

“Says who?”

“You plan on swimming like a polar bear, Chase?” he teases. She smiles, that same beautiful goddamn smile from earlier. He realizes he’s bantering with her and he’s comfortable with it. She’s really done well to make him comfortable with her. 

“The polar bear plunge,” she laughs. 

“The beach is better in the summer. The water is nicer, the breeze is warm, the sand is nice and hot -”

“Nearly naked bimbos whose tits are bigger than their brains running around the beach,” she cuts in. He laughs. 

“You took it in that direction.”

“Are you going to tell me you that’s not what you were thinking,” she says pointing to the bed. He climbs onto the bed and slides his legs under the covers. The weight of the blankets is a welcome one. She gets in next to him and opens the computer up on her lap.

“Even if I was, I wouldn’t have admitted to it,” he jests. “Last time I saw a dame in a swimsuit was 1942 on Coney Island.”

“Was she pretty?”

The question is overly innocent. She doesn’t sound jealous at all. 

“She was a little bit of a looker, yeah. I’ve seen prettier dames since, though.”

“But not in bikinis.”

“You’re a real smartass, you know that?” he asks. He’s in the middle of the bed and she’s closer to the edge and he feels like there’s an uncomfortable gap between them. All kidding aside, he’d like to pull her closer, but he doesn’t want to press his luck. 

“I hear that a lot,” she says and laughs a bit. He grins. He’s convinced if the other versions of himself saw her smile and heard her laugh there is no way they’d have walked away from her. No goddamn way. 

She opens the computer on her lap and the screen comes up showing a display of furniture pieces for the living room. Dames like to decorate, he thinks to himself and smiles. He’s trying to see what she’s doing. She slides closer to him and he is beyond elated. She’s right up against him, hip to hip. She’s smiling, blushing faintly. She’s so pretty. 

“Looking at furniture?” he asks, now that he can see the screen better. Most of what’s on the screen looks like it’s that newer shit that falls apart if you sneeze on it. 

“I cannot stand that leather garbage out there.”

“What’s more your style?” he asks. 

“Classic. Or antique, I guess, depending on your preference. I’m frustrated as fuck with looking at furniture, to be honest.”

“Let’s look at dresses,” he suggests. She looks into his eyes and smiles. She types something in and the search results come back seconds later.

“Classic cocktail dresses,” he reads on the screen. The images on the screen range from stuff he’s seen in the movies to stuff that looks like somebody’s nightmare. She’s scrolling through and he sees something that catches his eye. It’s an image of Rita Hayworth in one of the dresses she wore. 

“That’s nice,” he says pointing to it. He looks at Chase and then to the image, then back to Chase. She’d look dynamite in that - sleeveless tight fitting top that hugs all the good spots and then past the midline it flows loosely. 

“It’s nice, but…” she says scrolling a little ways, “this one is what I like,” she says pointing to a different dress. It’s another sleeveless dress, all black but it fades into a deep violet color as it fans out toward the bottom. A slit up the leg just up to the thigh. He likes this one. 

“That’s really….you’d look amazing in that,” he marvels. He’d give anything to see her in that dress. Hell, any dress, to be honest. He watches as she adds the dress to the shopping cart. 

“I like it, too. I like that Rita Hayworth dress, but it’s a little too flowery for me. I’ll be right back, I’ve got to get that stupid card Tony gave me,” she says moving the computer. Bucky feels an immediate surge of panic, as she slides off the bed.

“Tell me where it is and I can grab it,” he offers, quickly getting off the bed, as well. He feels like a goddamn fool, but he can’t shake the feeling she’ll vanish, that this is either the best dream he’s had or she’s going to get bounced into yet another dimension and he’ll never see her again. 

“Bucky, relax. Relax, baby, it’s okay,” she tells him. He must have looked panicked because she’s taken his hands in her own and she’s pulling him closer. He puts his arms around her and rests his head on her shoulder. He realizes too late he’s put himself into another panic attack. 

“It’s okay, Bucky, it’s okay,” she soothes. He feels like an ass now. 

“I’m sorry, Chase,” he apologizes. She rubs his back and he sighs. He needs to calm down or he’s going to push her away.

“Don’t apologize, baby. I get it. Come with me, we’ll get the card, come back and get the dress.”

He lifts his head slowly. She slides her hands up his arms, seeming to not notice the metal of his left arm. She works her way up till her hands are on either side of his face, caressing him. Her touch is so soft and gentle and so very welcome. 

She lets him go and they walk to the living room together. He waits for her to rummage around in her bag to get Tony’s card and then when she has it, he takes her hand and they head back to the bedroom. He feels safest back there for whatever reason. Maybe because it’s a smaller space, maybe it’s because it’s an intimate area, the place where she sleeps. Maybe it’s because the scent of her is all over the pillows and the covers. He climbs into the bed and back under the covers where it’s warm. She climbs in next to him, situates the computer and orders the dress while he watches. He’s tired again. Beyond tired. She’s warm, the bed is warm, that soft, faint scent of coconut is in the air. 

“Put your head down, baby. I’m almost done,” she tells him. 

“Are you staying in here? Can I stay?” he asks, hoping that was her intention when she told him to put his head down. 

“You can, and if you want me to I will,” she answers. She finishes up and closes the cover of the computer. Laptop. That’s the word he’s been looking for. Laptop. 

“I do want you to stay,” he mumbles sliding further under the covers. She puts the laptop aside and grabs the super soft fleece blanket. She shakes it out so it’s over top of the bed and he’s underneath it with only his head exposed now. Everything is soft and warm and so not like what he’s used to.

“Friday, lights off,” Chase orders. Bucky closes his eyes as the lights go off. He opens them again when she starts to move under the covers next to him. The room is dark. 

“Thank you for all this,”  he whispers. He scoots as close to her as he dares and she puts her arm over his side. He does the same, draping his arm over her, running his fingers lightly over the small of her back. He wishes she’d take off at least the pants. 

“Ugh, I can’t do this,” she growls. He freezes, his eyes flying open. 

“What? What’s wrong? I can move,” he says hurriedly. 

“No, no, no. I can’t sleep in these goddamn pants. I’ll roast,” she fusses. She gets up from the bed.

“Friday, lights,” he orders. The lights come on and she’s on the side of the bed pulling the pants off. He sees her bare legs and he feels that twinge in his balls. She slides back under the covers, shimmies over to him and pulls the soft fleece blanket over him again, making sure he’s covered.

“Friday, lights off, please,” she says and then adds, “are you warm enough, baby?”

He’s so moved by her concern, and this being the final act of kindness of the day has him feeling the happiest he’s been in what seems like forever.

"I am, Chase. Thank you," he whispers. He feels her drape her arm over him again, he puts his arm over her hip, pulls her a little closer to his body and closes his eyes. 


	107. Steve Can't Find Bucky

Chapter

Steve leans against the back of the elevator and closes his eyes. He’s beat, but he’s worried. He’s tried calling Bucky five different times and there’s been no answer. He called Natasha to see if she could find him. She was out on a mission, too, and couldn’t check on Buck. 

The elevator doors open and Steve steps out and down the hall towards Bucky’s place. He’s hoping and praying Buck’s okay. That he hasn’t hurt himself - not that Steve thinks he would, but…

He forces that thought from his mind and bangs on Bucky’s apartment door. No answer. He bangs harder, hard enough the door rattles in its frame. No answer. 

“Shit!” he growls. “Friday! Location of Sergeant James Barnes.”

“Currently, Sergeant Barnes is with Chase Stark in her apartment 1405,” Friday answers diligently. Steve gets weak in the knees. 

“Oh god,” he groans, running down the hall. What the hell was Buck thinking? Stark’s sister? Jesus Christ….he’s going to have a nice long chat with Buck. 


	108. Who The Hell Is Knocking

Bucky wakes up slowly and opens his eyes. For a brief moment he’s not sure where the hell he is. He hears a muffled sigh and rolls over. Chase is asleep half on her side, half on her stomach. She’s dreaming based on the hurt look on her face and how she’s twitching. He wonders what she’s dreaming about, what has her upset, what he can do to try and make it better. She gasps and cringes, curling herself into the fetal position. This isn’t a dream, it’s a nightmare. His girl is trapped in a nightmare and he doesn’t know how to save her. 

He knows that waking her up may only make things worse. She’ll be agitated and disoriented. It’s so hard watching her struggle in her sleep, though. What demons haunt her like this?

His attentions are diverted suddenly by a fierce pounding on the apartment door. 

“ _ Bucky! _ ” she yells sitting straight up in bed. 

“Easy! Easy! I’m right here, sweetheart,” he whispers sitting up quickly and gathering her into his arms. She’s shivering and he can feel her breathing is all out of whack. 

The ridiculous pounding on the door starts again and she jumps and he hears a soft whimper from her. She’s not fully awake, she’s scared and this fucking nonsense isn’t helping. 

“Stay here, Chase. I’ll be right back, okay?” he says, hugging her tightly before trying to let her go. She lets go slowly and he sees she’s still dazed and out of sorts. 

“Bucky?”

“Stay here, sweetheart,” he says firmly. He gets out of the bed and storms to the living room to answer the door. He doesn’t care he’s only in his boxers, whoever is knocking like that is going to get the shit beat out of them.

He throws open the apartment door and is every kinds of surprised to see Steve standing there. He looks worried, at least until he sees Bucky’s in nothing but a pair of boxers and looks like he’s going to bash somebody’s head in.

“What the fuck?” Steve asks looking at Bucky like he’s insane.

“I could ask you the same thing. What the hell is wrong with you? Who taught you how to knock?”

“You didn’t answer your phone, asshole. I left here and you were falling apart. I call to check on you and there’s no goddamn answer. I had to have Friday tell me where you were. Jesus Christ, Buck...how the hell did you end up here? In your fucking shorts?”

“She found me at the elevator shaking like a leaf, offered to try and help me calm down…” Bucky trails off because he sees Steve looking around him at something. Or someone. He looks over his shoulder and sees Chase. She still looks scared. 

“Is she alright?” Steve asks quietly. 

“No. No, she’s not. She was having a nightmare when you started banging on the door. I think she’s still out of sorts. Let me help her and I’ll catch up with you in a little while. I want to make sure she’s okay. I owe her.”

“Yeah. Don’t let Stark find out you’re running around in your skivvies with his sister. You’ll get us both killed,” Steve warns. Bucky sees him look past him again and Bucky looks, but Chase is gone. 

“I left my phone at the other apartment. I’ll call you or stop by,” he promises. 

“Yeah. You and I need to talk,” Steve says firmly. Bucky just nods his head. Steve backs away from the door and heads down the hall. Bucky closes the door and goes back to the bedroom. Chase is sitting on the bed. She looks tired and upset. She sees him and forces a smile. 

“Are you alright, Chase?”

“Yeah. Just a little out of sorts I guess,” she answers. “How do you feel? Are you feeling a little better?” She’s changing the subject, diversionary tactics. 

“Probably would have been better if numbnuts hadn’t come banging on the door like a deranged lunatic, but, otherwise I’m alright,” he says and grins. She smiles a little easier now. 

“I think he missed you,” she says with that hint of mischievousness. The smile broadens. She’s deflecting, burying whatever scared her so he doesn’t see it. That’s not the scary part, though. The scary part is how well she does it.

“Not like that, no. Jesus Christ, no. He’s not my type, anyway. Wrong types of equipment.”

This makes her laugh. He he grins. He made her laugh. 

“If you say so,” she teases. 

“I say so. I like dames. They’re a hell of a lot easier on the eyes.”

“I guess that depends on which ones you’re looking at. Or if their tits are bigger than watermelons.”

“Smartass,” he says and laughs a little. He likes this. He likes this banter they have. He comes closer and climbs onto the bed, sitting in front of her Indian style. He wants to run his fingers through her hair and caress her face, but he’s not sure how far is too far with her. She’s not very easy to read. He spent the night, slept next to her, but she’s shown no other indication of being interested in him, just a willingness to take care of him. But is that all it is? Is he hoping for something that isn’t there?

“Do you have plans later on?” he asks, hoping he’s not pressing his luck.

“Not that I’m aware of, no.”

“Would it be alright for me to stop by and see you later?”

“Sure. You’ll need to come get your clothes at some point anyway,” she says with a shrug. He was hoping for something a little more heartfelt from her, not just a come get your laundry when you’re ready type thing. 

“I can bring dinner or lunch,” he offers. 

“Are you going to eat?”

“I’ll try.”

“I may go see Tony for a bit or go wander the streets just to get out. If I’m not here tell Friday to call me,” she says. She’s very noncommittal about this and it hurts. He has to remind himself she said friends first. Just friends. 

“I can do that. If I get something for lunch or dinner what would you like?” 

“Something that’s not going to upset your stomach. Stick to lighter things for now. It won’t kill me to avoid eating like a fucking pig for a while.”

“Don’t say shit like that, Chase,” he groans. She shrugs.

“I restarted the dryer. Do you want to go grab something and I’ll deal with the rest after a while?” She asks. “I’m not forcing you to leave, Bucky. You can go when you want, but I think Steve might want to see you sooner as opposed to later,” she adds. He must have given himself away somehow for her to pick up on the fact he felt he was being rushed out. Is she a natural at this or did she learn this from dealing with the other versions of himself?

“Let me grab my clothes. Are you sure about me coming back over? I don’t want you to feel...I’m not trying to force you into something you don’t want to do,” he says softly. He feels like he should explain himself further, but he doesn’t know how to. 

She tilts her head to the side and smiles. 

“If I didn’t want you to come back I wouldn’t have made the offer, Bucky,” she says gently. He nods his head and goes out to the hall to dig through the dryer. He pulls out a pair of jeans, socks,  and a clean shirt. He restarts the dryer and looks at the clothes. He’s afraid to leave her. 

“Bucky.”

He jumps at the sound of her voice. She’s watching him from the bedroom doorway. She closes the distance between them and puts her arms around him. He holds his clothes in a ball in one arm and hugs her with the other. The feel of her against his skin is more than just a little enticing. 

She lets him go and smiles. She’s tired, that nightmare episode must have been a bad one. 

“Are you sure you’re okay, Chase? I don’t have to go humor Steve, I can stay if you need me to.”

Her smile gets warmer and her eyes shine. 

“I’m good, baby. Go see him before he goes apeshit.”

He hugs her tightly, hoping that if he leaves one or both of them won’t mysteriously disappear. She lets him go and scoops the clothes from the dryer and carries them to the bedroom. He follows with his clothes and gets dressed. He sees her smirking as he pulls his jeans on, the smirk turning into that devilish grin as he tucks himself behind the zipper and then adjusts so he doesn’t smash himself.  She’s trying to be coy about it, pretending she’s folding their clothes. That hits him in the feels almost instantly. This is something that couples would do. She’s seemingly content to fold their laundry. He realizes how much he’s missed out through the years. He wants to get beyond the friendship stage. 

“I’ll see you later, Chase,” he says. He smiles and she beams at him. He dips out of the bedroom and out the door to his own place to grab his phone and then go see Steve.


	109. Steve, Bucky and Sam

Steve sits on the couch rubbing his face. He’s gone for less than a day and Bucky’s sleeping with Chase. How the fuck does that happen? She was the underlying issue that caused his panic attack. He knows she didn’t do it intentionally, he knows she’s not at fault, he knows she’s been through hell. What he doesn’t know is how the two of them went from being alienated from each other to being like this.

There’s a knock at the door. He gets up fully expecting it to be Bucky. He’s surprised to see Sam.

“Bad time, Cap?”

“No. Come in,” he says letting Sam pass. He sees Bucky coming down the hall and waits for him.

“Expecting company?” Sam asks as he drops down into the couch. 

“Bucky.”

“That doesn’t sound good,” Sam says and laughs a little. 

Bucky walks in, sees Sam and gives Steve a less than pleased look. 

“Hey,” Steve says when Bucky sits down. “Want to tell me what’s going on?”

“This should be good,” Sam smirks and crosses his arms over his chest. 

“Sam,” Steve warns. 

“What do you want to know?” Bucky asks. 

“How did you end up there? And are you okay?”

“I’m alright. Do I not look alright?” Bucky asks. Sam shakes his head no. Steve’s going to have to separate them before they try and beat the shit out of each other . 

“You look better than you did when I left,” Steve admits. 

“I told you,  she found me outside the elevator, I was freaking the fuck out, she offered to have me come over to her place and try and calm down. We ordered chicken soup, she explained what happened, I was still a hot fucking mess and she didn’t want me to be alone so I crashed there,” Bucky explains sounding like this is nothing. Sam’s eyes are super huge right now.

“Was it that bad? She didn’t want to leave you alone?” Steve asks. He’s genuinely concerned that Bucky’s issues are tearing him apart from the inside out. 

“She threatened to have Bruce admit me into medical if I didn’t try to calm down.”

“Jesus Christ, Buck…”

“It’s fine. The reason I was falling apart is because I thought I’d hurt her. I did, but so did other versions of you and I and even Tony and she’s not holding us responsible. If she hadn’t been there...she’s a nice dame, Steve. She’s had a really rough go of things and she’s got her own demons she’s working through, but she’s super sweet.”

“So all you two did was talk and have dinner?” Sam asks disbelievingly. 

“No, asshole. I helped her shop for a dress online -“

“You what?” Steve demands, trying to figure out which Bucky this is right now.

“Oh shit, man,” Sam laughs. “Don’t worry, Cap. Old boy here is so far in the friend zone with Stark’s sister he’s never going to find his way out.”

“What?” Bucky snaps. Clearly this isn’t what he wanted to hear. Steve’s head hurts suddenly. 

“Friend zone. She had you help her pick out a dress? She doesn’t see you as anything more than a shopping buddy. Or she thinks you’re gay. Which would explain why she let you crash there when she doesn’t know shit about you.” 

Sam’s smugness is going to cause world war three here in a moment and Steve’s too fucking tired for this shit. Bucky looks like he’s both livid and heartbroken. He just met this girl, for fucks sake.

“Sam, stop,” Steve warns. Sam sits back with that shit eating grin on his face. 

“Steve…” Bucky’s looking to him to refute what Sam has just said. Jesus Christ. 

“Buck...I don’t know about this friend zone shit he’s talking about. He’d know better than the two of us. Dames today aren’t like they were when we were younger.”

“Jesus Christ, Steve. We’re still physically in our late 20s early 30s.”

“Yeah, but we’ve also been on ice for how much of damn near 70 years, Buck? How much has changed?”

“A lot,” Sam states matter of factly. 

“Fuck off, Sparrow,” Bucky growls. 

“Oh, it’s Sparrow now? I see. Let me know how it goes when she asks you to be the maid of honor at her wedding,” Sam says, attempting to further infuriate Bucky. It works.

“Shut your goddamn whore mouth,” Bucky snarls getting up from his seat. 

“ENOUGH!” Steve bellows. Bucky sits back down and he and Sam glare at each other. Steve drags his hand down his face. He’s going to bash both of them upside the head with his shield and just call it a damn day.

“Sam,” Steve says tiredly. “We’ll catch up later. Let me talk to Buck alone. I don’t want you two trying to kill each other in my living room.”

Sam shoots Bucky a hateful look, nods to Steve and lets himself out. 

“That guy is a fucking prick. What the fuck do you even see in him?” Bucky demands. Steve looks at Bucky calmly. 

“He helped me save you, Buck. He stood by us when Tony had the others gunning for our throats.”

“He’s still a prick.”

“Fine,” Steve says giving up. “Did you really go dress shopping with her?”

“Online. On her laptop. I went to grab my laundry for her to wash -”

“Wait. Wait. Wait. What? I was only gone one day, right? I’m not missing like an entire year?” Steve asks, bewildered at what he’s hearing.

“One day,” Bucky confirms.

“And...you somehow convinced this dame to do your laundry? That’s some next level James Buchanan Barnes shit right there,” Steve jokes. 

“Fuck off,” Bucky says and grins sheepishly. “That’s not how it happened. She told me to bring my stuff over. I was soaked with sweat, I was freezing...Steve, she made everything alright. I don’t know how she did it, but she did,” Bucky says in awe of Chase’s magical powers. 

“Watch your step, Buck. You’re on a very slippery slope right now.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“Is it? Listen to yourself. What if Sam’s right and you’re in that friend zone thing?”

“What if he’s not, Steve?”

“What are these other versions you were talking about?” Steve asks changing the subject. Best to not dwell on Bucky’s new infatuation with Stark’s sister. 

  
  
  



	110. Tony And Chase Laugh At Each Other

Chase finishes sorting and folding the laundry. Bucky’s very few pieces of clothing are neatly folded and piled for him when he returns. She runs her hand over one of the shirts and the longing for him to come back sooner hits her hard and fast. She shakes her head. Not again. Not this soon. 

She heads to the bathroom to shower, hoping to take her mind off of him, but she can’t. Everything she forces herself to think about works its way back to Bucky. It makes her heart ache, but is that because she’s genuinely interested in him or because she’s still recovering from the burns the others dealt her? She can’t tell. She can’t tell if he’s genuinely interested or if he’s just decided to attach himself to her because she’s being nice to him. That thought sticks. What if that’s all this is with him? Being nice to him because god knows the only other person to show him more than a little kindness has been Steve and he’s latched onto that and only that. 

“I don’t want to do this again,” she mutters to herself as she steps out of the shower. She dries off, and today for the first time in months, she straightens her hair. 

When she’s done getting dressed she grabs the phone and calls Tony.

“Kiddo.”

“Goddammit, Tony.”

“Sorry. What was the other name? Twatwaffle?”

Chase tries not to laugh at him and fails.

“You’re a dick,” she tells him. She hears him chuckle.

“Standard equipment. Pepper tells me that on occasions, too.”

“What? That she has a dick?” Chase asks turning the tables of stupidity back on Tony.

“I’m going to tell her you said that.”

“I’ll tell her you’re the one that suggested it.”

“What are you doing?”

“I was about to ask you the same thing,” she says.

“Not much. Pepper’s doing self defense classes with Natasha. Which is something you should do. I’ll make that happen.”

“Yeah, no.”

“Not an offer, Chase. I need to know you can defend yourself.”

“I’ll kill them with my witty remarks.”

“Not likely. Most villains run on a very low IQ scale.”

“Eh…”

“Either way, you’re going to take classes with Pepper. This isn’t up for debate.”

“For fucks sake. Fine,” she grumbles giving in. 

“Want to come have an early lunch with me?”

“It’s barely ten, Tony. Can we do breakfast?”

“I had breakfast.”

“Be a hobbit and have second breakfast,” she says and then laughs at her own joke. She can hear him laughing, too.

“Fine. I’ll meet you in the lobby in what? Ten?”

“Five. I’m ready to go now.”

“Five it is,” he says hanging up. 

She grabs her bag and coat and heads down the hall to the elevator. 

Tony is waiting in the lobby for her when she gets off the elevator.

“You were out already,” she says.

“Yup. Meeting with the suits. Got bored, you called, I bailed.”

“Great business ethics, Tony.”

“I still own the company. Besides, I build the stuff and Pepper deals with the logistics,” he says nonchalantly. 

“Fair enough. I bought a dress last night,” she tells him as they step outside. Happy is waiting at the curb with the door of the limo open for them. 

“Show me. Did you use my card?”

“How the hell else was I going to get it?”

“Yeah, that does pose a bit of a problem. Didn’t you have a checking or savings account...here…” he trails off because she’s giving him a cold look.

“I don’t know.”

“Sorry, kiddo. Sorry. I keep forgetting that kind of stuff is lost to you for the moment.”

“Yeah, like  you keep forgetting about calling me kiddo,” she grouses. 

“Dearest sister, would-est thou care to elaborate on where-est thou would-est like to partake of eatables?”

Chase can’t stop laughing now. Tony’s being a pompous ass and she finds that funny as hell. 

“You’re such an asshole,” she laughs.

“Much like you I come by it honestly,” he tells her, sitting with his arms crossed looking very pleased with himself. 

“Nice. You’re a shit,” she says trying to not laugh any more. He looks at her like he’s hurt, she starts laughing and so does he. 

“Seriously, where do you want to go?” he asks when he stops giggling.

“I don’t care. Someplace that doesn’t cost $500 a plate.”

“So...slop?”

“I will kick your ass…”

Tony taps his chest and smiles.

“I’ll still kick your ass.”

“Not unless you do that self defense training.”

“Oh here we go…”

“You’re doing it. I’ll have Natasha hog tie you -”

“So help me god if you say anything about skull fucking…”

Tony roars with laughter. Happy is looking in the rearview and Chase can see him shaking with laughter, too. 

 


	111. Bucky Tells Steve About Chase

Bucky has just explained to Steve for the third time what he knows about Chase. He even went to get the letter she wrote him to show Steve how he knows this shit. Steve was more than a little impressed she’d taken the time to write him a letter. He was more impressed at her techniques for calming Bucky down. 

“Two other versions of us? And we wronged her both times?” Steve asks.

“Yeah. Bad enough that I think that may have been what her nightmare was about. Maybe. She woke up yelling my name.”

“You always liked it when they yelled your name,” Steve jokes. 

“Not like that, kid. She was terrified. You kept pounding on the goddamn door and that only made things worse.”

“Explains why you looked like you were going to beat the everloving shit out of me when you opened the door.”

“Yeah...sorry about that. I was just trying to get it to stop and get back to her.”

“Was she alright when you left?”

“Seemed to be. She’s pretty good at burying her pain. She doesn’t talk about it much. That letter is as in depth as she got.”

“She knew us  _ intimately _ ,” Steve says looking at the letter. “Both of us? As in she’s screwed us both?”

Bucky’s not sure he wants to know the answer to that. 

“I don’t know. She could mean she just knew us really well. Dames use words differently than we do,” Bucky says. The idea of her screwing anyone else, even if it was Steve, turns his stomach and hurts his heart. What bothers him more is that those other versions hurt her not once, but twice. 

“I think...I’ll keep this from Natasha,” Steve says thoughtfully. “Not that she’d probably care, but still.”

“Where is she?”

“Teaching Pepper self defense at Tony’s behest. She says Pepper’s getting pretty good.”

“Probably has a lot of pent up anger dealing with Tony she needs to work out,” Bucky muses. Steve grins.

“Maybe. She and I are going out for dinner tonight. Want to come along?”

“Nope.”

“You’re going to go see her again, aren’t you?”

“Yeah. She’s got my clothes,” Bucky says trying to play this off. Steve’s not buying it.

“Buck...she’s been hurt by us - well other versions of us - two different times. I get that she helped you. Hell, I’m thankful she did, but don’t set yourself up for something that isn’t actually there. Maybe Sam’s right.”

“Friend zone shit? Yeah. He’d know all about that. Fucking fathead. He doesn’t know her and she’s made no goddamn mention of him,” Bucky states defensively.

“Jesus Christ, Buck, don’t get your shorts in a twist. I’m just saying watch yourself. You’ve been through enough shit, you’ve been hurt enough. The last thing I want is to see some broad -”

“Steve,” Bucky warns.

“To see some girl hurt you. I’m sure she’s nice. I’m sure she’s a lot of things, but, come on man, be careful. Don’t throw yourself at her like she’s the last dame on the planet.”

Bucky shakes his head. Steve doesn’t get it, and Bucky can’t explain it, so there’s no point in continuing the conversation. Maybe he’s right. Maybe Sam’s right. Maybe Bucky’s right and there’s more to her and there’s a chance he can show her he’s not like the others and they can be a happy couple. 

“That grin on your face tells me you’re not listening to a goddamn thing I’ve said,” Steve growls. Bucky looks at him and smirks.

“Oh, I heard you, punk -”

“You’re just not going to listen. Nice to see some of the old you is still in there, you shithead.” 


	112. Tony Has Second Breakfast

Tony and Chase are sitting at their table staring at their half eaten plates, both of them stuffed to the gills. 

“I should never have suggested getting something else to eat,” Tony gripes. “Ugh.”

Chase’s mind is elsewhere it seems.

“How am I going to pay you back for all of this?”

“Do what now?” Tony asks. Where the hell is this coming from he wonders.

“Pay you back. For the clothes, the place, the dress, the food. I can’t just leech off of you, Tony. I can’t and I won’t.”

“You really are not the same person you were when you got taken,” he states. He studies her for a bit and sees she’s being serious about this. 

“Based on what you’ve told me, I’m actually glad to hear that.”

He nods his head. While Chase’s personality has drastically changed, he’s not sure if he’s upset about that or not. This altered personality is less self serving, less materialistic it seems. She doesn’t want him to just hand her things like she did before the rift opened and swallowed her whole. 

“Still no memory of what happened before you left?” he asks. He knows full well he’s pushing his luck with this. She tends to get pissy about this, because she can’t remember and that bothers her. 

“No. I don’t even know what the fuck kind of job I had or skills or anything,” she answers angrily. He knows she’s not upset with him, she’s upset with not being able to remember. Bruce told him that due to what she was likely put through at the psychiatric ward that’s what caused her memory loss and that’s what caused her personality to be so drastically different. 

“You were working as a marketing manager for some tiny company that was barely breaking even. I don’t know exactly what you did - you never really went into detail once you found out we were related,” he tells her. She shakes her head and pushes her food around on her plate. 

“I’m sorry I put you through that. I’m sorry that I was such a greedy, narcissistic bitch, Tony. I’m sorry that I used you and Pepper -”

“Stop, Chase. If I didn’t want you to do what you did I would have put a stop to it.”

“That doesn’t excuse me trying to spend every goddamn cent you have,” she argues. 

“What did you do in the other world? The one where we were figments of that old guy’s imagination?” he asks, hoping to change the subject. She sits quietly for a few moments.

“Cyber security, ” she says and then shrugs. Jesus, that’s a hell of lot more in depth than being a marketing manager.

“Did you like it?”

“It had its moments, so yeah, it wasn’t all bad,” she says and smiles. He can see she remembers her time there. “That doesn’t change the fact that I can’t pay you back, Tony. I don’t have that job anymore, and I don’t know what the fuck I would have done as a marketing manager.”

“I can put you on payroll -”

“Doing what?” she demands loudly. Other patrons of the restaurant turn to look at them.  Tony smiles menacingly at them and they look away.

“Security. What you did before for the most part. Security is a priority. Do what you do.”

“Tony...this feels like another handout,” she says. She sounds discouraged. In all honesty it was a handout, he was just going to put her on payroll without actually expecting her to do anything. She doesn’t  want that, though. She wants to work for a salary. 

“It’s not. I have a security team, but I can have you monitor them. Security for the security,” he says in hopes she’ll take the bait. 

“Do I have a social security number?”

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t you?” he asks. He’s wondering what the hell this has to do with anything.

“Do you have any of that information?”

“I can check. Otherwise we can find it. Why?”

“I’m going to need it. I need to find a job.”

“I just offered you a job,” he says feeling like she’s brushing him off.

“I know, and I appreciate it, Tony. I really do, but haven’t you done enough? Won’t your stockholders get pissed if they see your sister on the payroll? Especially since you insist on Friday addressing me as Chase Stark?”

“Stark is your last name,” he says flatly. What the hell? Is this part of the memory loss? Did she forget she’d started using his last name and they were working on changing her last name to Stark?

“No, Tony, it isn’t. It’s Catalano.”

“What? No, Chase. Your last name was Grayson.” Tony is thoroughly confused now. 

“No. I was named after my….goddammit,” she whispers. He can see the tears in her eyes. “None of it’s real. Nothing I have is fucking real.”

“This is,” he tells her firmly. “This is real. You’re here with me. Marie Stark was your mother. I’m your brother. Half brother if you want to be technical about it. I found your birth certificate in some of mom’s old stuff she’d kept hidden for years. I found you. This whole cosmic dimension hopping shit wasn’t something anyone planned. You’ve been traumatized because of all this, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re here. This is where you belong. You are my sister. You are a Stark.”

He sees the tears fall from her eyes. She grabs the napkin and dabs at her eyes. He wishes there was something more he could say to her to convince her, to ease her mind. 

“I know you've been through a lot, Chase. Just listening to that sordid tale about you, Rogers and Barnes is enough to put anyone in therapy. Try and trust me on this. You want to look for a job outside of the company, fine. I told you before, you’re an adult, you can make your own shitty decisions without my help.”

“Shitty decisions,” she repeats. “It’s a shitty decision to try and get a job and pay back the man that has given me goddamn near anything I could wish for because he insists we’re related?”

“No, it’s not a shitty decision, Chase. I respect what you’re trying to do. I’m just trying to give you a source of income without having you run all over the country looking for a new job. It took me years to find you. I finally find you, I meet you - the only family I have - and then I lose you. We worked our asses off to get you back. Me, Strange, even Rogers. If he hadn’t reached out to T’Challa...now you’re back and you’re a different person and I’m good with that, kiddo. Hell, I’m proud of this person you are for wanting to step up and take care of yourself and not wanting handouts. Just consider the offer. It’ll keep you close to home here with Pepper and I. You won’t have to worry about rent. If you really insist on paying me back, fine. But I’m not going to stop buying you shit. I lost years because I didn’t know you were out there. I lost more time when all this other bullshit happened.”

“Buying me things is making up for lost time?” she asks and then sighs. 

“No. Spending time with you is going out to  breakfast, feeling overstuffed and arguing with you over a goddamn job. Spending time with you is sitting around bullshitting with you like we did the other night.”

“You’ll let me repay you? Even if I take this job offer from you, you’ll let me give you the money back?” she asks. She’s holding onto this paying him back thing, which is stupid as hell in his eyes, but this is what she’s set on. It’s not a bad thing, honestly, but goddammit….

“Yes. I agree to this ludacris nonsense you’re pushing at me,” he gripes. She’s looking at him disbelievingly. 

“Tony.”

“Scouts honor,” he says holding up two fingers and putting his hand over his heart. She shakes her head, but she’s smiling.

“When do I get started?”

“Can we give it a little more time for you to get acclimated? It’s not like the job is going anywhere. I just want to make sure you’re settled in first. And...I do expect you to go to this party next week. No bullshit.”

“No bullshit,” she says pulling out her phone. “Here,” she says handing him the phone. She’s showing him the dress she bought. 

“Little revealing isn’t it?” he asks looking at it.

“It’s an adult dress for someone under the age of 102.”

“Alright, wise ass,” he laughs. “I think eating second breakfast was a mistake. A hobbit I am not.”

She laughs. He’s pleased. Before she’d make this horrible face when he’d make jokes like this. Now she’s laughing. Her sense of humor has changed for the better it seems and he’s glad to see this. The departure from her old self to this new one isn’t all bad. 

 


	113. Chase Goes Shopping

Chase is walking down the street, hands stuffed into her coat pockets. She just left from having breakfast with Tony. He’d coerced her into taking a job within the company, but only after she’s had enough time to acclimate again. He was adamant about this, saying that after everything she’s been through and the effort and time he and the others had spent searching for her and getting her back that he doesn’t want to lose sight of her again. To Chase it sounds like he’s still worried she may disappear again. Chase has that same concern. It’s been eating at her. The nightmare she had this morning was about that. Being pulled into another dimensional tear and Bucky couldn’t hold onto her. She’d scared Bucky and she’d been all kinds of out of sorts when she woke up and realized what was happening. 

Speaking of Bucky...she checks her phone. No missed calls or texts. She hopes he’s okay. 

She passes by a clothing store and pauses. Bucky needs clothes. Before she left she’d taken a look at his jeans and shirt sizes. She’d planned on talking to Tony about letting her get him some things, since he has seemingly less than she does here. With Tony agreeing to let her pay him back for the things she buys this shouldn’t be a problem. She dips inside and looks around. She sees a rack full of Henley shirts and heads that direction, a big smile on her face. 

She finishes up her little shopping spree, paying for jeans, the Henley shirts, some graphic tees for both of them, some more socks and boxers for him, she picked up another fleece blanket, this one much larger than the other two. The next store she stopped at was a drugstore. She bought him an arm sleeve to cover his arm if he should need it, and she bought him a winter hat and some gloves. 

She checks her phone again. Still nothing from Bucky. She feels a little saddened by this, reminds herself that he’s with Steve, that she told him they were just friends, and that he’s not obligated to call her or show back up unless he wants his clothes. 

She hails a cab and heads back to the tower. 


	114. Bucky Sees His Gifts

Bucky heads to Chase’s apartment after finally convincing Steve he wasn’t insane. Mostly. Steve kept pointing out that Bucky’s infatuated with a girl he doesn’t know, but who knows all about him, and that Bucky should keep his wits about him. He knows Steve means well, that he’s just trying to keep Bucky from getting hurt, but he also can’t explain to Steve the draw to her. He went from being completely afraid of her to being able to talk with her and hold her hand. Hell, he had slept with her, falling asleep in bed next to her with his arm over her. 

He thinks about what Sparrow said, about how he’s  _ friend zoned _ . Such bullshit. At least, he hopes that what it is. Steve’s right, Sparrow would know more about how dames operate than either of them would. But she’d called him baby on several occasions. That has to count for something, right? Hopefully? He told Steve that he would watch his step, that she did say they would just be friends for now, but he also told him that if the opportunity came about that he and Chase could be something more that he would not hesitate to make that move. 

Steve had shook his head. His only concern is Bucky getting hurt, and Bucky appreciates that, but if Steve wants him to come out of his shell then he’s going to have to let Bucky do these things, even if it means he gets hurt. He doesn’t want that to happen, is hoping and praying that it doesn’t, and that Sparrow is wrong about this friend zone trash. 

He gets to her door and knocks. There’s no answer after a few moments. He feels his heart start to race. She said she was going out with Tony, maybe she’s still with him. She told him he could have Friday call her when he was ready to come over again. Should he do that? Is that going to seem overbearing? What if she doesn’t want to see him?

Bucky swallows the lump in his throat and takes a long, deep breath. She told him to call when he wanted to come back over. Told him she was going to go out with Tony for a while. She told him that if she didn’t want him to come over she would not have made the offer. 

He pulls out his cell and sees he’s shaking a little. This has to stop. He has to pull himself together. She’s going to get tired of babysitting him and walk away if he doesn’t. 

“Friday, call Chase. Can you send it to my cell?”

“Yes, Sergeant Barnes. Would you like me to call her now?”

“Yes. Please.”

“Very well.”

He sees his phone light up and sees a number populate on the dial screen. He puts the phone to his ear….it rings once, twice, three times, four...it eventually goes to voicemail. Now he really is starting to panic. His phone rings a moment later and he jumps. It’s the same number that Friday just called.

“Hello?”

“Hey! Sorry, I couldn’t find the goddamn phone fast enough. Are you okay?”

He refrains from telling her he’s having an anxiety attack. 

“Yeah. I stopped by to see if you were home yet. I’m not trying to rush you, Chase -”

“Nope. All good,” she says cutting him off. He hears the sound of traffic dying down and then the distinct sound of an elevator ding. “I just got inside the building. I’ll be up in a few. Want me to call you when the neverending ride in the tiny metal box comes to an end?”

He smiles. She’s showing more of her sass and wit and he likes it.

“I can wait,” he says. He hears bags shifting. She went shopping it sounds like. “Shit. I didn’t get anything for lunch, Chase. I’m sorry,” he says feeling like an asshole now.

“Oh god, please, no more food. Jesus Christ. I can’t eat anything right now. I’ll blow the fuck up. Have you eaten yet today?”

He laughs a little. His heart is still beating fiercely in his chest, but she’s on her way up and that makes him feel a little better. 

“I haven’t. Not yet. I can wait.”

He hears her sigh heavily. She’s not pleased by this. He doesn’t know how to fix it and he’s back to square one right now.

“I’m at the floor. Are you still there?”

“I am. I can meet you at the elevator if you want. Sounds like you’ve got some stuff you’re carrying. I can help.”

“You’re a godsend. See you in a minute,” she says hanging up. He stuffs the phone in his pocket and does the deep breathing technique she’d used on him last night to relax before he gets to her. She’s halfway down the hall with bags in both hands when he meets her.

“Productive day?” he asks with a half smile. He’s trying to hide the fact that he’s stupidly given himself a panic attack. She tilts her head and studies him.

“I have something for you, but you’re not getting it till you settle down,” she says and then smiles a little. His eyes get big. She bought him something? Why? What did she get? Why?

“I’m okay,” he lies because he’s dying to know what she got him and why she got it and what he can do to show his appreciation to her for thinking about him while she was out.

“Sure you are. You want to come inside? I’m going to make you eat something, even if it’s just more chicken soup from that delicatessen.”

He groans. He’s hungry but he’s over the chicken soup right now. 

“Can we maybe do something other than chicken soup? I promise I’ll eat,” he vows. She smiles and opens the door to her place. 

“Alright. Order yourself something and when you’re done ordering I’ll show you what I got you. But,” she says putting the bags on the couch and poking him in the chest, “if you don’t eat, you don’t get the stuff.”

“Stuff? As in plural?”

She simply smiles and sits down next to the bags on the couch. He’s like a kid on Christmas Eve now, he knows there’s gifts and he can’t wait to find out what they are.

He pulls his phone out and searches for the deli. 

“They have a special today prosciutto on rye,” he tells her. 

“Think you’re okay to stomach that, baby?” He can hear the concern in her voice. He appreciates it so much.

“I can try. I’ll get the soup, too, just as a back up.”

She nods her head in agreement.

“Let me get you something. For later. You’ll want to eat later, right?”

“Probably, but right now I don’t want to think about food, Bucky. Seriously,” she moans. 

“I’ll get you something later on when you’re hungry,” he promises. He places the order for delivery and then shows her the phone. She laughs a little.

“I believe you. Besides, if it didn’t show up after like an hour I would have taken this stuff from you.”

“What did you get?” He’s stupidly eager and he can’t help himself. 

“Stuff. Come here and sit,” she says patting the couch. He sits down, seating himself close to her. She straightened her hair. The curls from last night are gone. He runs his fingers through a lock of her hair. He’s not even thinking about what he’s doing, he’s just thinking about how he likes the curls better and how nice they would have been to run his fingers through. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Your hair is straight.”

“You noticed,” she teases. He sticks his tongue out at her and she gives him a magnificent smile. 

“Do you like it like this?” he asks hoping she says no.

“Eh. I used to do it like this all the time. I got away from it for a while for...reasons.”

He’s assuming that if he liked the curls so did the others and the reason she straightened her hair is a nod to her moving on maybe. She’s looking at him, and he realizes he’s been playing with her hair. He immediately stops. 

“I don’t mind. I like having my hair played with,” she says softly. “But that’s not why you’re sitting here looking like a kid at Christmas.”

She opens one of the bags and pulls out several long sleeve shirts. Henleys in black, dark blue, maroon, hunter green and a dark gray. He’s more than a little surprised by this. They all look like they’re his size. Did she guess? Did she think to look at the sizes on his clothes before she left? Jesus Christ...he’s speechless.

“Are they okay? Do you like them? I can take them back if you don’t,” she says. She sounds worried. 

“No, sweetheart. I love them. Thank you. You didn’t have to...why did you get these?”

“You needed clothes. T-shirts and jeans will only get you so far in New York in the winter, baby.”

“This is true...wait...there’s more?” he asks, completely astounded now. She smiles and gets another bag.

“So, your jeans were looking rough,” she explains as she pulls out several pairs of jeans in varying shades of blues. Bucky tries to say something but he can’t because he doesn’t know what to say.

“Chase…”

“There’s more,” she says and smiles. She pulls out a bunch of t-shirts, but these are different sizes with different designs on them. She hands him the bigger ones and he realizes the smaller ones are for her. They have crazy shit on them. One has a broad dressed in a sailor suit looking like a pin up from the 40s. He looks at the shirt then at her. She’s smirking. 

“Smartass,” he says and laughs. He likes it. He likes all of the shirts, but this one is by far the best because it shows her sense of humor. 

“Still more,” she says getting another bag. She pulls out a super large fleece blanket, bigger than the biggest one she has. 

“Oh my god...Chase…”

“I know how much you like them and I know I told you that you could have mine and you still can, but this is a bigger one for you to keep at your place if you want. It’ll keep you warm. Should anyway,” she explains. She hands it to him and he runs his hands over it. Yes, it’s soft, but hers are softer. Maybe that’s a perception thing on his part, but that’s what he thinks. He loves it regardless.

“Sweetheart...I don’t know how to thank you for -”

“There’s more.”

“Really?” What the hell else could she have gotten him? He watches her pull out more boxers and more socks. He’s moved by her act of kindness. She went out of her way to get him things she thought he needed and things she thought he would like. She hands him a hat and a pair of gloves and smiles. 

“I also got you this. Don’t be mad, okay? I just...I know how you are about your left arm and I thought maybe this would help a little if you went outside,” she says pulling the final item from the bags. It’s an arm sleeve that runs from his upper arm to his wrist. This beautiful girl thought of him and his comfort and his needs and splurged on him. 

“Bucky?”

“I don’t know what to say…”

“Please don’t be mad. I didn’t mean to upset you with the sleeve...I just thought…” she stops and looks down at the box. He tucks her hair behind her ear.

“I’m not mad, Chase. Far from it. I don’t know how to thank you. I don’t. This is more than I could have anticipated and I love all of it and I appreciate it so very much. Especially this,” he says holding up the sailor girl shirt. He sees the smile return to her face. He wants to kiss her and hug her and then kiss her some more and then hold her all day. He wants to do something grand for her, something she’ll love, but he has no idea what the hell to do. 

“Are you sure? Everything looks okay?”

“I couldn’t have done better myself. You’ve got good taste, sweetheart. I love all of it. Thank you,” he says and takes her hand so he can entwine his fingers with hers. She looks happy about this. 

“I can get this stuff washed. Your other clothes are on the bed waiting for you. You’re sure everything is good? I can take whatever you don’t like back. I won’t be mad -”

“Stop,” he says running his fingers along her cheekbone, “this is all perfect. Looks like you even did your research on the sizes. I don’t know how to thank you.”

“Eat. Stay hydrated. Stay calm.”

“Three things and you make them sound so easy.”

“I know it’s hard, Bucky. This hasn’t been a pleasure cruise for either of us, but I don’t want that void in you to consume you. I know there’s a part of you still in there. He came out a minute ago when you were looking at that sailor girl shirt,” she says being playful. He grins and looks at the shirt. She may be right. 

“Thank you. For all of this and what you did last night. I can’t tell you how much this means to me,” he says softly. 

“I didn’t do it for the thanks, baby. I did it because you needed stuff, because I saw things I thought you would like, and because I wanted to do this. You have next to nothing from the looks of the clothes you brought over, and even if that isn’t all of it, now you’ve got more. Let me get this stuff started in the washer. When everything’s done we can take it to your place and get it put away. Deal?”

The thought of taking the clothes back to his place bothers him. He wants out of this friend zone shit. He wants to kiss her and hold her and stay here with her. He wants to protect her and make sure she’s safe. He wants to take her out and go to the beach in the summer…

“Bucky.”

He sighs. He can’t push the issue because he doesn’t want to scare her off. 

“Okay,” he agrees reluctantly. She seems to pick up on this. Of course she does, she’s been doing it the whole time. He sees her start to chew on her lip. He rubs his arm, she chews her lip. She hasn’t said anything, though, and that worries him.

“I’m not them, Chase. I don’t want to be them. I can’t wrap my head around why anyone would hurt you.”

“I developed a theory a while ago about that. The last three dimensional bounces have only served to prove that theory as fact.”

“What is this theory?” He’s afraid to ask, but he needs to know. He also knows he doesn’t like where this is headed.

“Not everyone gets a soulmate. Not everyone gets the love of their life. Some of us are just meant to be alone.”


	115. Natasha And Steve

Natasha opens the door to Steve’s apartment and launches her bag at his couch. 

“Rough day?” He asks, trying not to laugh at her because she missed the couch.

“I missed you, too. And just dumb stuff as per the usual.”

“Want to hear about my day?”

This catches her a little off guard. If she had to guess it’s something to do with Barnes. 

“Absolutely,” she says picking up her gear and then sitting with it on the couch. 

“What do you want to drink?”

“Bottle of water. Did you eat yet? I thought we could go out later if you haven’t,” he offers. She smiles. You don’t find good guys like this anymore. That old school charm of his always gets her.

“No and that sound like a plan. Tell me about Barnes.”

“How did you know?” He asks, handing her the bottle of water. She smiles and twists off the cap.

“You called me and asked me to check on him, remember?”

“Yeah,” he says and sits down. “About that. He wasn’t answering his phone. He was a goddamn mess when I left him, Tash. I had to take him to medical and Bruce gave him Valium….”

“Are you serious? What the hell happened?”

“He saw Stark’s sister.”

“Chase? He saw her in Wakanda. What changed?” Natasha is thoroughly perplexed by this. 

“We saw her at that dive we like to go to. I called her over because the place was unusually packed -“

“Refresh my memory, but wasn’t she an uppity snot to you the last time you spoke to her?”

“Oh yeah. But this isn’t the same dame, Tash. She’s a completely different person. It’s like night and day.”

“Uh huh. Keep going. You can tell me about how she’s different after this shit with Barnes.”

“Right. She comes over and I honestly don’t know what the fuck happened, the next thing I hear is Buck apologizing about Marie and then Chase saying he hurt her beyond the whole Marie Stark thing.”

“The other version of Tony we saw in that rip...there’s other versions of us then, right?”

“Right. And apparently she’s bounced between three different dimensions. Two of which all of us were there and both Bucky and I wronged her on an epic scale. Tony did, too. But…”

“Wronged her how? Did you guys kill someone she knew?”

“No…”

Natasha tilts her head. 

“At least one of you was screwing her. I’m guessing Barnes, right?” She asks. Steve nods.

“He started falling apart, she left because she was about to fall apart and he went after her. I went after him. She got to the tower just before we did and Tony was with her -“

“Oh shit,” Natasha groans. She’s pretty sure this is why Barnes fell the fuck to pieces. 

“It wasn’t Tony. It was the look on her face. The hurt in her eyes. And then she completely floored us by telling Tony it wasn’t his fault, and telling me to get him to medical.”

“She knows a version of him. She clearly cares about him.”

“It gets better.”

“I love these sordid tales of yours,” she says with a grin. Steve smiles. She can tell he’s flustered with Barnes, but she also knows that Barnes is the only piece of his former life he has left and the two of them are practically brothers. 

“The shithead didn’t answer his phone when I got back from this last mission. I had no idea what the hell was going on.. Went to his place and there’s no goddamn answer. I had to ask Friday -“

“Yes,   Captain Rogers?” The AI answers diligently. 

“Nothing. Thanks.”

“Very well.”

Natasha is laughing. Tony’s ever present AI is a pain in the ass. She’s going to have to show Steve how to turn the hussy off.

“Anyways,” Steve says glaring at the ceiling, “I had to ask her where the hell he was. He was with Chase.”

Natasha chokes on the water. That’s not possible. Steve’s fucking with her.

“What?”

“Yeah. I went to her place, beat on the door and he opens it in nothing but his goddamn shorts, Tash. Nothing else.”

“What?”

“Basically all I could ask, too. The story I got was that she found him shaking like a fucking leaf at the elevator, took him back to her place, she got him to eat, got him calmed down for the most part, did his laundry and helped her look for a dress.”

Natasha can only blink at Steve as she tries to wrap her head around this. 

“Sam was here while he was telling me this and I had to separate them because Sam told Buck he’d been friend zoned? What the fuck is that?”

“He’s not friend zoned. At least not entirely. She’s not going to do his laundry if they’re just friends. There’s got to be at least something there.”

“What is this friend zone shit?”

“Short of it is that she thinks of him as a close friend, nothing else, will never see him as anything else. Basically how you see him.”

“I won’t do his goddamn laundry.”

“Exactly. But the dress buying thing...and he spent the night?”

“In her room. In her bed. With her.”

“Not friend zoned. No way in hell.  She’s attracted to him on some level and she trusts him on a much larger level.”

“He’s out to get her to be his girl. She told him she just wants to be friends. For now.”

“She’s interested. He’s not friend zoned. That’s a hell of a turn around, though, Steve. If he was falling apart because of her and now he’s trying to date her.”

“I left him he was falling apart. I come back and he’s calm, cool and mostly collected. She handled him with the utmost care. I’m thankful she did, Tash. I don’t know what the hell would have happened if she hadn’t stepped up.”

“You’re still perturbed about this, though.”

“We hurt her in these other worlds. She’s here, in her home world now. What if she hurts him?”

“What as in revenge? I can’t answer that, Steve. But you can’t keep him in that bubble you’ve built him forever. He’s got to experience these things again. Just like you had to. You can’t protect him forever,” she tells him. She’s being firm with him but she keeps her voice soft. She knows how much Barnes means to him. She also know she’d rather have him on their side than not. 

“I know, Tash. Goddammit, I know, but he’s been through hell. The last thing I want is for him to get hurt by some dame -“

“Trust him.”

“Ugh,” he groans. 

“Let me get showered. Want to join me?” She asks. His eyes light up. She knew that would be the distraction he needs to get his mind off of Barnes and Chase. She’s surprised by all this, but she wants to watch it play out and she’s going to have to keep Steve from potentially fucking up something for Barnes that may end up being good for him. If he was as bad as Steve says and she got him to turn around...that’s impressive. She knows how to deal with him. That makes a whole two people now - Steve and Chase.


	116. You Don't Mean That

“Do you really believe that, Chase?”

Chase sits quietly on the couch next to Bucky chewing on her lip. She just told him how she feels about this whole dating/love situation. She’s not supposed to be with anyone. She’s done this three times already. This will be her third go round with a James Buchanan Barnes. If she gives in and follows her heart - which clearly should not be listened to ever - this will be her fourth attempt at a relationship. What’s he going to do? She had one fuck her best friend. She had the other two (four if you count Steve in the mix) just toss her aside like she never meant anything to them. 

“Chase.”

She looks at him, he runs his thumb under her lower lip and she stops biting down on it. 

“I do believe it, Bucky. I don’t want to get hurt again. I can’t keep doing this.”

He sighs and leans forward on the couch, clasping his hands between his knees and looks at the floor. He didn’t want to hear that. She doesn’t want to get hurt. There’s doesn’t seem to be a middle ground here except for being friends. But goddammit, she’s more strongly attracted to him than the others combined. She can’t explain it, but it’s there. 

“What did they do to you, Chase? What did they do to you that you would think you’re meant to be alone?”

“Stuff. Look, I know I gave you a bunch of shit about your self image issues. This isn’t about self image with me -“

“Isn’t it?” He asks looking up finally. She opens her mouth to contest that, but he’s got her on that point. 

“You don’t even know me, Bucky. You know nothing about me.”

“I know you’ve got a heart of gold. I know you care about me enough to take care of me. I know you have enough information about me to know how to help me and you have. But, you’re right. I don’t know anything about you beyond that. I don’t know what your favorite food is. What your favorite color is. Where you’ve traveled to. Where you want to go. What you’re looking for in life. I  _ want _ to know, Chase.”

“You can learn that without getting involved with me, Bucky. You know that as well as I do.”

He looks down and shakes his head. She knows what he’s getting at, but Jesus Christ, every time she’s gotten involved with a version of Bucky she’s ended up getting tossed away to yet another dimension. Even trying to avoid getting sent back didn’t work. Now she’s here, this is supposed to be her home world, the place she belongs. What if the universal powers out there aren’t done playing fucking ping pong with her yet? What the fuck happens to this Bucky if they get involved and she gets bounced? Forget about her own heartache, how will he take it? He’s so fucking hurt now...which brings her around to what if this is just him latching on to her because she’s being nice to him. 

She gets up from the couch and he looks up. The only way to get him to understand and maybe convince him that just being friends is the only reasonable option is to try and explain to him what she’s thinking. 

“Bucky…..each time I’ve gotten involved with someone it’s ended up in disaster. The guy who was my ex fiancé from the fucking world where they fried my brain -“

“What?!” She forgot he doesn’t know about this. 

“Shit.”

“What the hell, Chase? What the fuck happened to you?” He asks getting up from the couch. He reaches out for her and she holds her hand up to stop him. He freezes, she can see he’s hurt by what she said and more hurt that she’s denying him physical contact. 

“Sit back down, Bucky, please.” 

He does as she asks. 

“I thought I was from this one world where none of you existed. I told you that. I don’t remember anything prior to a few years ago except some very disjointed memories about pills and the smell of burnt hair and skin. The Infinity Gauntlet showed me things -“

“That thing on your hand when we saw you through the portal?”

“Yes. I saw the adoption papers, I saw scenes from the psych ward. I saw Tony….I don’t remember anything. Bruce says that the ECT fried my brain so much it altered my personality and gave me amnesia. I got pissed off at Tony for telling his AI to call me Chase Stark. He says that we were working on legalizing the name change. He told me my last name is Grayson here, but...it’s not. Maybe it is. I don’t fucking know,” she growls. She’s getting frustrated with this now. It’s confusing her so it has to be confusing him. 

“What is or was your last name?”   He asks gently. He wants to know about her. He’s interested. At least that’s how it looks to her. He looks like he’s genuinely invested in this.

“Barnes. NO! No. No. No. Jesus Fuck…” she groans smacking her head. Looking at him she’s got Bucky Barnes on the goddamn brain now and there isn’t enough of her brain left to fuck around with. His eyes are huge and there’s a hint of a smile on his lips. 

“The first version of you joked about getting married. Decided that since he didn’t know what I thought was my last name - Catalano - that he’d just give me yours. That’s...off track…” she says trying to reign herself in. Remembering this shit hurts. Looking at him now hurts. This is going to suck so bad. 

“You loved him.”

“Yeah, but maybe he didn’t feel the same way I guess. I let myself believe he did. I let myself believe Tony did. He treated me like his little sister, which is ironic looking back. I fell hard and fast for that Bucky. To the point I let him convince me to let Steve join the fucking party. Literally. That’s all it was. Fucking. When Loki decided to fuck with them I was the casualty. Literally told me that these are the hard decisions you guys have to make and then I was gone.” She wipes at her eyes. The heartache feels like it’s fresh. 

She sees him open his mouth to say something and she shakes her head no to stop him. 

“You wanted to know. I got tossed back to the world I thought was mine. I got rid of anything that reminded me of you or Steve or Tony or anything from that world. I avoided taking the road that brought me to that world. But, I got screwed over in grand fashion. I ended up back on that road one night and I was hit head on by an out of control lumber truck. The impact should have killed me according to that Bruce, but it pushed me into  _ that _ dimension. They recognized me but they didn’t know why. I kept my fool mouth shut. I avoided you and Steve like the plague. You especially. Strange figured it out, Loki admitted to fucking with us even though this was a completely different dimension. I don’t know how the fuck that works. I was so hurt physically and mentally I just wanted to die. I ended up forgiving you all. I knew I didn’t belong there,” she says wiping her eyes again. The tears won’t stop coming. 

“What happened, Chase?” His tone is soft, she can hear the hurt in his voice. Is it because she’s upset? Does he really care or is she just so goddamn desperate to believe he does that she’s making herself see that?

“Things were wrong. Things felt wrong. You and Steve…” she stops and takes a deep breath to try and get through this. “We decided to try this again, all three of us. I came home one day after having lunch with Tony and I overheard you two talking. I knew it was over before this. You two were more interested in each other than you were with me, but I had to hear you say it. You, specifically that version of you. I walked out, found Tony, went for a walk, he threatened to kill you both, Strange shows up, aliens show up, and you should know the rest.”

“Steve and I were a couple and dumped you after we convinced you to make it a ménage a trois? Both times?” He sounds appalled. Probably because he’s not into Steve like that here.

“No, just the second time around you two were in love. The first time you two were just buddies and Steve apparently had a shitty relationship with Natasha. She was screwing Clint behind his back and thought he didn’t know. That Bucky offered to share me with him like I was a goddamn toy. I let him. Because I loved him, too. The only one who didn’t do me dirty was that Tony and I don’t know what happened to him. I’m scared that getting involved with yet another Sergeant Barnes is going to end up in…..I don’t even know. I don’t want you to throw me away. I don’t want to be treated like trash. I don’t want to get bounced to another fucking world. I just want to live my goddamn life. Why is this so fucking hard?” She breaks down now entirely because she doesn’t know the answers and that scares her. 

She feels him pull her into his arms and she cries into his shoulder. Oh, he’s going to hurt her. She’s damn near certain of this. He’s going to burn her so goddamn bad they won’t be able to identify her body. 

“S-stop,” she stammers and pushes away from him. “I don’t want to get hurt again. You’re going to. It always happens -“

“What if you’re wrong? Yeah, those other ones hurt you. They did you fucking dirty, Chase, no one can say they didn’t. I understand why you’re so scared and reluctant, but I’m not them. More importantly, they weren’t part of your home world. I am.” 


	117. Bucky Gets Called Away

Bucky reaches for Chase again trying to pull her back into his arms. She’s looking at him, tears still streaming from her eyes. The shit she just told him...it’s no goddamn wonder she doesn’t trust him. What the fuck is wrong with these other Buckys? Who the fuck does this shit to someone they claim to love? Share her with his best friend? Dumping her for his best friend? What kind of half assed bullshit dimensions are these? He can’t blame her for not wanting to do this again with another Bucky. She’s scared to death he’s going to do her dirty like the others. She’s scared she’s going to get bounced again, which based on what she’s said coincides with the other versions of him fucking her over royally. He’s not them. He does not want to be them. Right now he wants to hurt them. 

“Chase…” He’s cut off by his phone going off in his pocket. He pulls it out and it’s Steve. He ignores the call and he calls right back. 

“Steve, now isn’t a good time -“

“We’re up for a mission. Get your gear. I’ll meet you in five.”

“Shit. Yeah, I’ll be there,” he says hanging up. He looks at Chase, cups her face in his hands, “this conversation isn’t over yet. Okay? I’ll be back soon.”

“Please be careful, Bucky,” she says and she hugs him. She cares about him. 

“I’ll be back soon,” he says again and rushes out the door. This couldn’t have come at a worse time. 

He grabs his gear and runs to the elevator. Steve is already waiting for him. 

“Did you go see her?” He asks pressing the down button for the elevator.

“I did. This couldn’t have come at a worse time,” he says sullenly. He feels like absolute shit for leaving her like this. 

“You look like she broke your heart. I need you to focus, Buck. I need to know your head is in the game here.”

“I am. She did. Not by anything she did, it’s what the others did to her. Did you know they gave her electroshock therapy? They fried her goddamn brain, Steve.”

“You feel for her on that level more than any of us can, Buck. I get it. I get you’re in over your head with this dame. Let it go for now,” Steve says firmly. 

The elevator doors open and he and Steve are greeted by Clint and Sparrow. Lovely. 

“Short and sweet. Get in and get out,” Maria tells them. 

They board the QuinJet, Sam and Clint at the helm. Bucky goes over the mission specs several times. 

“Buck.”

“Yeah.”

“Are you good, man?”

“Yup.”

“Good. We can work on this when we get back with Chase.”

“We?”

“I’m just as at fault from what you’ve told me as you are. I don’t want this girl hating me, especially since she may end up dating my best friend.”


	118. Chase Considers Bucky's Parting Words

Chase sits on the couch and cries. She cries because she’s scared. She cries because she wants to give this Bucky the benefit of the doubt, but she doesn’t know if she should much less if she can. She cries because he really seems to want her to accept him, to trust him, and to let him prove himself to her, but she’s so goddamn scared. 

She wipes her eyes and looks at the clothes she bought him. She bursts into tears again. Who is she kidding? The draw to him, the connection to him...it’s only a matter of time before her resolve is completely destroyed and she flings herself at him. 

_ They weren’t part of your home world. I am. _

He’s right.  If what Tony says is true, if what the Gauntlet showed her is right, then this is her home. This is where she belongs. And if so, then wouldn’t it stand to reason that maybe this time it will be different between her and Bucky?  That maybe this is where it works out instead of becoming a fucking trash fire of epic proportions? 

There’s a counter side to this though. What if her concerns that he’s only latched on to her because she’s being nice to him are correct? What happens? Is this worth the risk again?


	119. On Their Way Home

Bucky sits on the QuinJet with Steve as they head home. Both of them are exhausted and sore. Steve jumped through a plate glass window after Sam tossed him through it so Steve could neutralize the threat there. Bucky was targeted by one of the gunman driving a large SUV and was nearly hit, barely jumping up and onto the hood of the vehicle before he was killed. He’d  punched the windshield out and stopped the SUV within short order. Landing on the hood was the bitch of the deal. He’s sure when he looks there’s going to be a large bruise over his side, down his hip and leg. 

“I want to sleep for a week,” Steve groans, leaning his head back tiredly. “You okay?”

“Sore. I’m worried about Chase,” he says. He grabs his bad and rummages through it looking for his phone. 

“Call her. Check on her. You really like this dame, don’t you?”

“I do. She got me turned around in less than twenty-four hours, kid. She made me feel safe, like I wasn’t some rabid dog that needed to be beat into submission.”

“See? I told you that you were human.”

“Zip it, punk.”

Steve laughs tiredly. 

“She’s not bad looking.”

“I’m calling Natasha.”

“I will beat your ass,” Steve threatens. He makes like he’s reaching for the shield. Bucky taps his left arm and grins. They both start laughing. 


	120. Bucky Comes Home To Chase

Chase finishes up the laundry, both hers and Bucky’s. She’d just let everything go for the last day and a half. His food had been delivered shortly after he left. She’d looked at the sandwich, her stomach had turned and she put everything in the fridge for him. She ended up eating the cheesecake for dinner. So healthy. 

She’s been dwelling on what Bucky said before he left and on the possibility that he’s fixated on someone being nice to him. If he comes across some other chick who catches his eye and she treats him moderately decent is he going to jump ship? Is she being fucking stupid for thinking that there may be a chance for them here in this world? 

She’d slept for shit last night. The nightmares about getting sucked through to yet another goddamn world seem to plague her. Waking up alone was worse, though. So much worse. She’d snapped awake shivering and looking for Bucky. Realizing he wasn’t there and then foolishly checking her phone for any messages from him didn’t help matters, either. She’d finally cried herself to sleep several hours later. 

She finishes folding the last of his boxers when her phone rings. She doesn’t look at the number, couldn’t even begin to care who it is at this point.

“Hello.”

“Chase? It’s Bucky. Are you okay, sweetheart?”

She wants to cry.   No, she’s not alright. She’s falling the fuck apart. 

“I’m tired. Are you back?”

“Just got back into the building. I’m on my way up. Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Yeah.”

“Chase.”

He’s not buying it. She isn’t either. Worst actress award goes to Chase Catalano-Greyson-Stark or whoever the fuck she’s supposed to be. 

“Bucky.”

“Sweetheart...can I come see you?”

He sounds worried. He’s got to come over regardless to get his clothes. But then what? Does she tell him how she feels and possible send this poor bastard into overload and down to Bruce for something stronger than fucking Valium? Does she keep her mouth shut and just stick with “lets be friends” bullshit? Her head hurts. Her eyes burn and now there’s fresh tears. This is so fucked up. Why can’t she catch a goddamn break?

“Chase?”

“Is she okay? Should I call Tony?”

That was Steve’s voice in the background, also sounding worried. Sure, call Tony. He’ll have her committed to medical, then Steve can have Bucky committed to medical and then what the fuck ever.

“I’m on my way up. I’ll be there in a few minutes. Okay?”  He’s really worried now. She can hear it in his voice. Looks like she’s going to have to make a decision.

“I’ll see you in a few, Bucky,” she says softly. She hangs up before he can say anything else. She wipes her eyes and heads to the bathroom to try and make herself a little presentable. She washes her face and tries to fix her hair as best she can. She’d not had the energy to straighten it and the curls and waves were an unruly mess. She pulls her hair back into a ponytail, hates that too, and just pulls her hair free and gives up. She hears a knock on the door.

“Here we go,” she says heading to the door. 


	121. Stay With Me, I Missed You

Are you going to be okay, Buck?” Steve asks for the fifth time.

“Yeah. I’m just worried. I don’t want to lose my chance with Chase. I don’t want to fuck this up somehow.”

“See what’s going on with her before you jump to conclusions. Maybe she had a bad night. Maybe she’s not feeling well,” Steve suggests. “Just keep me in the loop as to what’s going on with you, Buck. And her.”

Bucky nods. The elevator doors open and he and Steve part ways. Bucky heads to Chase’s place. He stops halfway down the hall and grabs his phone. He pulls up a local flower shop and calls them.

“I need an arrangement for my girl. Something simple and sweet.”

“What kind of flowers does she like?” The person on the other end asks.

“I don’t know. I’m open to suggestions. I want to stay away from roses if possible. I want something a little...”

“Less common. How about orchids or stargazer lilies?”

“Stargazer lilies,” he says quickly. It just feels right. “What do you have?”

“I can whip up something delicate, a few of those and some accents, nothing major. Looking for anything else?”

“Do you have any stuffed animals? Like a teddy bear?”

“Absolutely. Do you have a color preference?”

“Jesus, how many colors?”

“You name it…”

“Brown? Like a traditional teddy bear?”

“Can do.”

“How long till it can be delivered?”

“Depends. Where are you?”

“Stark Tower.”

“Give me ten minutes to get it together. Is it just going to the lobby?”

“Yeah. I’ll meet you in the lobby.”

“Name?”

“Barnes. James Barnes.”

“Cash or charge?”

“Cash.”

“Be there in ten.”

“Thanks,” he says and hangs up. He doubles back and heads to his place. He changes quickly so his arm isn’t exposed, making sure to put his coat on to keep it covered. He gloves both hands and heads down to the lobby. He checks his phone to see if Chase has tried to call him. Nothing. He’s hoping that holding off to go see her isn’t going to cause an issue. This flower thing is only something small and last minute for her. When he figures out what she likes he’s going to go all out for her. 

He paces the lobby floor getting increasingly impatient. He keeps checking the wad of cash in his coat pocket and his phone to see if he’s missed any calls. He heads outside to get some air. He’s starting to feel that panic chest tightening feeling. He’s dying to get upstairs to Chase. He sees someone coming down the street carrying a tall box. He’s hoping this is the flower delivery. They walk past the tower entrance. Bucky growls angrily and steps back inside. As soon as he does he hears the doors open again.

“Barnes?”

“Thank god,” he sighs. He pulls out the cash. The kid’s eyes get huge.  “How much?”

“$50?”

“Here,” Bucky says dropping $75 of Steve’s cash into the kid’s hand. “Keep the change,” he says taking the box and opening it. The kid skips off. Bucky smiles. The bear is one of those ultra fuzzy ones and it’s a decent medium size. Next to it in a bluish vase are the stargazer lilies surrounded by what he’s guessing she called the accents. These flowers are pink and white lilies that smell pretty nice. He’s hoping she likes them. He hurries to the elevator and heads up to her place. 

He carries the box carefully to her door and knocks. He’s about to knock again when she finally answers. She looks exhausted and she’s been crying. 

“Sweetheart,” he whispers. She lets him in and closes the door behind him. 

“What’s this? I smell stargazer lilies,” she says looking perplexed. Goddammit she’s good.

“Do you like those?”

“I love them,” she says trying to covertly get to the box. He smiles and hands her the box. She looks uncertain. 

“Go on, Chase,” he says. She takes the box to the couch and sits down to open it. 

“Oh, Bucky,” she whispers as she pulls the flowers and then the bear out of the box. She smells the flowers, closing her eyes as she does. He sits next to her on the couch. 

“What do you think?”

“I love them. Thank you, baby,” she says. He sees the tears in her eyes again. 

“You haven’t slept. We never finished our conversation -“

“Stop,” she says cutting him off. She’s not looking at him, instead playing with the arms on the teddy bear. “I thought about what you said, Bucky. About how you aren’t them. About how they weren’t part of this world, where I’m supposed to be, but you are. I just have one question for you. How do I know this isn’t just you latching on to the first person being nice to you?”

He doesn’t hesitate to answer.

“Because if that were the case then I’d have latched onto Shuri for helping me out the way she did. I appreciate what she did for me. I’m in her debt almost as much as I’m in Steve’s debt or yours. I don’t have the connection with her I do you. Yes, I am latched onto the fact that you’ve been kind to me, that you’ve taken care of me, that you’ve done all of this for me, but that’s not all of it, Chase. I like you. I want to work on making this something more than just us being friends. I’m not going to rush it...mostly. I just want the chance to show you I’m not like the others.”

She’s chewing her lip. He’s about to say something when she gets up, still holding the teddy bear.

“Bucky...what happens to you if I get thrown into another goddamn dimension? If you actually feel the way you claim you do, how is this going to affect you?”

He blinks at her. Is she serious? How is this going to affect him if she gets sucked into another world - _which_ _is not going to happen_ , of that he’s convinced. 

“I could ask you the same thing. I don’t know. I don’t want to think about it. I know you’re home here. That’s what I want to focus on.”

She shakes her head and plays with the bear some more. 

“I’m going to get burned again. I’m going to get burned so badly,” she says under her breath. He takes that as a direct hit to his heart. 

“I have no intention of hurting you. I trust you. I feel safe with you. I love your smile and the sound of your laugh. I love your feistiness. That t-shirt you bought me with the pin up girl on it? I fucking loved that. Maybe your time with those other shitbags was just to help you get some insight into how to help me, sweetheart.”

He sees her eyes darken as the possibility of this settles on her. 

“I don’t want to rush this, Bucky. I don’t want to jump headfirst into this again. I don’t want to be alone, either. I missed you last night, Bucky. I couldn’t sleep and when I woke up and you weren’t here…” she trails off, fresh tears filling her eyes. He gets up and pulls her into his arms. 

“I will do everything I can to show you I can do right by you, sweetheart. We can move slow. I’m all for that. I want to get to know more about you, Chase. Like the fact that stargazers are a favorite flower of yours apparently.”

“They are my favorite flower, you jerk,” she says from his shoulder. He can hear the playfulness coming through in her voice. Just barely, but it’s there. He grins.

“Will you give me a chance?” he asks softly. He feels her lift her head from his shoulder. 

“I don’t see that I have a choice, Bucky.”

“You do, though. I won’t force you into this. I won’t pester you. Tell me what you want to do, and we’ll do that.” He’s hoping that she doesn’t push him away, that she does want to try this with him. He’s hoping she’ll let him prove to her that she was right, that there is still some of James Buchanan Barnes left in him.

“I’m tired, Bucky.”

“Yeah, so am I. And sore.”

“Are you hurt?”

“Guy tried to hit me with an SUV. I jumped up before he hit me, but the landing was less than graceful,” he admits. 

“Oh god, Bucky. Where did you get hit?” she asks pulling away from him. She’s opening his coat trying to get to him. He sheds his coat. 

“Side, hip, leg on the right side. I haven’t really had a chance to look at the damage, sweetheart.”

“Stay here, Bucky. Let me see how bad it is, you can get showered...your clothes are all washed and dried, you’ve got stuff to wear…” She’s trying to convince him to stay. She doesn’t need to. He was going to ask her if he could stay anyway. 

“You don’t need to try and convince me, Chase. I want to stay.”

She smiles tiredly.

“Have you eaten?”

“Not in a while. I’m a little hungry,” he admits. She runs her fingers along his jaw. He loves how that feels, how soft her touch is. 

“Do you want to take a shower and I’ll order something? I have your stupid sandwich here. It’s stinking up my fridge.”

Bucky snorts and then laughs. 

“Throw it away, sweetheart. What did you want to order? No soup. No more soup,” he says putting his foot down. She cocks an eyebrow at him and smiles.

“No soup. I’m not too hungry myself. Why don’t we order after you get your shower. I want to see how bad you’re hurt, baby.”

“Alright,” he says. 


	122. Who Takes Care Of You?

Chase is hanging up Bucky’s Henley shirts and jeans in her closet while he’s in the shower. He’d taken off his shirt before heading to the bathroom and she could see the start of some bruising on his right side. She’d shooed him into the bathroom to get cleaned up. He’s still very tired and run down looking and she’s worried he’s going to burn himself out. She’s worried he’s hurt more than what she saw and more than he’s willing to admit. She finishes with those clothes and works on rearranging her clothes in the funky dresser to accommodate his clothes with hers. 

She hears the bathroom door open and a moment later he’s in the doorway with the towel draped low over his hips. He’s using another towel to dry his hair. She can see the extent of the bruising now on his right side. It’s red, and puffy over the bruising. 

“I don’t have a brush,” he says softly. She puts down his tee shirts so she can inspect his side. He lifts his arm and lets her look him over. 

“I have a brush you can use in the bathroom. How badly does it hurt?” She asks as she runs her fingers very lightly over the marks. 

“Pretty sore, but it’ll pass. I’ve had worse and been left to my own devices,” he says watching her. She reaches up and caresses his face. He leans into her touch, and then takes her hand and kisses the back of it. 

“Do you want something for the pain or are you okay?”

“I’m alright. I’m hungry.”

She laughs. 

“What are you hungry for, baby?”

“I don’t care, honestly. Should I put jeans on?”

“Are you expecting Steve to show up again?” She asks. She moves his right arm so she can look him over some more. 

“No. I’m going to call him. You’re worried?”

“Yeah,” she says looking up at him in surprise. “Why the hell wouldn’t I be? You’re hurt. You’re pushing yourself well beyond your limits, baby.”

She sees the flood of emotion in his eyes. Being handled and being cared for are very different. He only remembers being handled and abused. Being cared for is new for him. He’s still scared. She hugs him, being careful of his side. He instantly puts his arms around her and buries his face between her neck and shoulder.She rubs his back and he tightens his embrace. 

“You’re going to get cold. Why don’t you finish drying off and I’ll get one of your blankets to keep you warm while we figure out dinner,” she offers. He nods his head. 

“You put my clothes away?”

“Temporarily housed them. Boxers in that drawer, socks in that one, your tees will go in that one,” she says pointing to the drawers as she names them. 

“Temporarily,” he mutters and sighs. He opens the drawer his boxers are in and his eyes get big. Then she sees that wayward grin on his face.

“We’re a little cramped for clothing space in here,” she tells him. He’s still grinning, head slightly tilted. She smiles. He reaches in the drawer, hesitates for a moment and then pulls out a pair of his boxers. 

“Maybe sometime you’ll be comfortable enough to wear a pair for me,” he says as he closes the drawer. 

“Maybe I’m wearing a pair now.”

“Really?”

“I sure as hell ain’t going commando,” she laughs. He gives her a look and then smiles. 

“Commando,” he repeats, still smiling. “Smartass.”

“Go finish up. I’ll turn the heat up if you want so you stay warm.”

“No, it’s alright. I’ll be done in a minute. Do you want to get in the shower?”

“After we eat. Go on, you’ve got goosebumps because you’re cold,” she says ushering him off. He heads back to the bathroom and Chase goes to the living room. 

“Chase?”

“Living room,” she calls. He comes out into the living room with his hair brushed back, a tee and his boxers on, carrying the blanket.

“I got it out of the closet. Is that okay?”

“That’s fine, baby. Come sit on this disgusting couch with me. I thought we’d order from Bloom’s tonight.”

“Another deli?” he asks sitting next to her. He unfolds the blanket, not the new one, but the one she’d gifted him the other night as part of her deal with him. He spreads it across their laps and smooths it out, making sure she's covered as much as he is. He’s clearly got a favorite. She finds that sweet.

“I really don’t want pizza or burgers, but if you do that’s what we’ll -”

“No, Chase. No burgers,” he interjects. “If you don’t want pizza that’s fine, too. Do you know what you want from there?” 

She shows him the menu on her phone and points to a sandwich. 

“Grilled chicken breast and brie cheese, huh? Alright. I think I’ll get a reuben.”

“What do you want to drink?”

“Water?”

“You know they have juice, soda, tea…”

He shrugs.

“Water.”

She shakes her head and places the order. She pulls up one of the local stores that delivers groceries. He scoots closer, now they’re hip to hip. She sees him reach his arm behind her and she leans against him before he can put his hand on her shoulder. Without even looking at him she knows he’s happier. She can just feel it. 

“What’s this?”

“Groceries. They deliver unless you want to go out tomorrow. I don’t want to keep ordering out. I’m about sick of it. Again.”

“What do you need? I’ll go now -”

“Stop,” she says putting her hand on his thigh to quiet him. “If you’re up to it tomorrow and you’re still here we can go. Or I can just have these fools deliver it if you want to stay in. It’s supposed to be sleeting on and off tomorrow.”

“We can go now. It’s not that late yet.”

“You just got home, Bucky,” she protests. He shrugs.

“We do it now, get it out of the way and spend the day together tomorrow. If you want,” he says adding the last part in a hurry. 

“I don’t think you should be forced to go shopping -”

“You’re not forcing me, Chase. I want to.”

“Hmmm,” she grunts. “What do you want for dinner tomorrow?”

“I thought we weren’t ordering out?” He sounds perplexed.

“We aren’t. I was going to make something. What do you like to eat?”

“I can’t let you do that, Chase. You don’t need to keep doing this. You’ve done enough. I don’t want you to think I’m taking advantage of you. I’m not trying to. I can make dinner. I’ll do it,” he says earnestly. 

“Why would I think you’re taking advantage of me?” Where did this come from? 

“You’ve done all this - shopping for me for clothes, taking care of me when I was falling apart, taking care of me now...I don’t want you to think I expect this, Chase. I don’t. I appreciate all you’ve done, you don’t have to keep...I just don’t want you to think I’m using you.”

She leans back and looks at him oddly. Then it dawns on her. She told him about the others and now he’s  hell bent and determined to show her he’s not like them. Not at all. Which is nice, but this is how it usually starts out and then it goes to shit from there, so may as well just follow the pattern.

“I never said you were using me, Bucky. I want to do these things. Even if you weren’t here I was going to make myself something instead of ordering out again. You’re here, I figured I’d ask you what you like and we can do that,” she explains. 

“I just don’t want to push you away or make you feel like they did, Chase. I want to try and be something better than what I am, what I was.”

She can see he’s trying to get out what he wants to say, but he’s struggling with how to say it. She gets the idea. Mostly. He wants her to see he can do better for her, that he’s not the previous versions, and that he’s not going to take her for granted. 

“So...you’re not going to let me make dinner?” she asks, antagonizing him a little. He drags his hand down over his face.

“Are you this belligerent with everyone?”

“Yeah.”

“Good to know. If I tell you no?”

“I’m making dinner anyway and you can either have some or not.”

“I don’t think belligerent covers you at this point,” he says and then smirks. She pokes him lightly on the jaw. 

“Last chance, baby.”

“Seriously? You really want to make something for me that I like?” Now it seems like the idea has finally sunk in and he’s surprised by her willingness to do this for him.

“Yes.”

“I mean I like a good steak, but I guess as far as a home cooked meal...lasagna? Meatloaf?”

“Are you asking me?” she asks. “Because I’ll make you both.”

He smiles and pulls her back against him, running his hand up and down her upper arm slowly. 

“Not both. Lasagna for tomorrow? If that’s not too much trouble?” He’s asking her permission. 

“I can do that. I don’t expect you to go out shopping, Bucky -”

“I just need to put on jeans and socks, sweetheart,” he says lifting his arm and pushing himself off the couch. He reaches for his side as soon as he’s up and grunts.

“No. Sit down, baby. You’re hurt. You’re the one being belligerent now,” she chides him. “We’ll stay in, I’ll get the order placed. They’ll deliver it tomorrow.”

He’s not pleased. He’s still holding his side. He wants to go out, he doesn’t seem to care that he’s hurt. She moves the blanket and pats the couch for him to come sit back down. 

“Chase -”

“Bucky, stop. You’re hurt, you’re tired, it’s been a very long few days for you -”

“It’s been a very long few months for you. I should be taking care of you and making sure your needs are met instead of the other way around,” he argues.

“You’re here. I know you’re safe, I know you’re calmed down and you’re going to eat and stay hydrated. I feel safer with you here, Bucky. The only needs I have really can’t be met until I get my head straight, and that’s on me -”

“You don’t have to do that alone. You know that.”

“So do you.”

He’s silent for a moment.

“I don’t want to do it alone. I don’t want you to do it alone, either. Who takes care of you, Chase? You’ve taken care of me and the others from what I’ve gathered, but who takes care of you?”

“Financially? Apparently Tony does and he has no intention of stopping because he’s an asshat.”

Bucky shakes his head because he’s trying to stay on task with her and she’s not letting him. She knows she’s using diversionary tactics.

“Not just financially. Emotionally. Physically.”

“Me,” she answers honestly.


	123. Bucky Gives Chase The Revelation She Needs

Bucky just took what Chase said directly to his heart. He’d asked her who takes care of her emotional and physical needs. She’d bluntly answered herself. She doesn’t expect or want anyone to take care of her. Or maybe she just never had anyone offer to try. She’s more alone than he thought. Everyone needs someone to fall back on - he has Steve, Steve has him and fathead Sam. Chase doesn’t rely on Tony? Maybe because she doesn’t remember him, maybe this is part of the ECT shit?

She’s watching him, he knows how good she is at picking up on things with him. It’s uncanny.

“You deserve to have someone show you what it’s like to be wanted, adored, and cared for, Chase. I want to try.”

She looks down for a moment and he’s worried he’s pushing his luck with her again. He goes from rubbing his side to rubbing his arm.  

“Chase -”

She looks up and he snaps his mouth shut. 

“Why?”

“Why what?” he asks. He doesn’t understand what she means.

“Why would you want to do that? Why would you want to try?”

He’s flustered now.

“Because I want to show you that you deserve to be loved. You can’t make that a one way street, Chase. That’s not how that works. You can’t expect to try and convince me that I’m worth anything - that I’m worth being loved - if you don’t believe you deserve the same.”

She’s got that unreadable look again, her eyes are dark under her long lashes. 

“Why would you volunteer for that?” she asks finally.

“Because you stepped up and took over the roll for me,” he answers without hesitation. Her eyes get lighter  as she processes what he's just said. She looks back down and he sees she’s wringing her hands. If he had to guess, she’s probably chewing on her lip, too. She’s a bundle of nerves and it breaks his heart because she’s shown him so much compassion in the past couple of days and she doesn’t believe she deserves any in return.

“You’re still hurt. I don’t want you to go out.”

He stops rubbing his arm and tilts his head. 

“But, Ma, I’m all better,” he says intentionally acting like an ass. This makes her look up. She’s biting her bottom lip, but this time it’s in an effort to not laugh. 

“You’re a dick,” she mutters. He grins. 

“I’ve been told that’s standard issue.”

This time she does laugh. He’s all smiles because he loves the sound. 

“Do you really want to go out? It’s cold, you just got out of the shower and you are hurt.”

He rubs his neck and considers this.

“I’d rather just go and get it done. This whole delivery thing - you don’t get to pick and choose what you want. I get the idea, but…”

“Do you want to go get dressed? You can try out the sleeve if you want, see how it works,” she suggests. 

“Is it in the bedroom? And I still need to go to back to my place. I don’t have all the basics here.”

“Get dressed, we can swing by your place so you can do whatever you need and we can get doubles for here. If you want to keep staying,” she says. She’s studying him to see how he’s going to respond. He’s about two seconds from picking her up and smothering her in kisses. 

“I’d like that, kitten.”

“Kitten?” she repeats, looking a little surprised. He falters a little bit now. He’s not sure if this pet name was a good idea. It just sort of came out.

“It just happened, Chase…”

“I like it better than doll.”

“We can do kitten if you want,” he offers in hopes that’s what she meant.

“Can I keep calling you baby?” she asks, the playful smile on her lips.

“I would love that.”


	124. Natasha Tells Steve To Let Bucky And Chase Be. Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT. Mild, but still smut.

“Have you heard from him yet?” Natasha asks when she catches Steve looking at his phone for what seems like the millionth time. She already knows the answer and she’s tried to prompt him into calling Barnes, but he’s just grunted at her and put the phone back down each time.

“No,” he answers sullenly. Little boys…

“Call. Him. Stop moping. I’m sure he’s fine.”

She watches Steve toy with the phone for a moment and he finally calls Bucky.

“Where the hell are you?” First words out of Steve’s mouth as soon as Barnes answers.

“Oh god, Steve,” Natasha groans. 

“Shopping?....She’s making you what? Meatloaf?....How the hell did you convince her to do this?”

Natasha is overly amused at the comical look on Steve’s face. From what she can gather Barnes has coerced Stark’s sister not only into taking care of him, but cooking for him now, too. 

“You’re sure about this?...I just don’t want you to get hurt, you shithead...I get it. I get it. I know you like her….why the hell are you talking to me in front of her?...Just wait. I see you tomorrow morning and I’m beating your ass,” Steve growls. Natasha can’t help but laugh and that earns her a harsh look from Steve. 

“He’s fine,” Natasha tells him. Steve rolls his eyes.

“Listen, Buck, just...just be careful, okay? She’s been through shit, too and...Alright. No, I get it, man. I’ll call you tomorrow so we can go for our run,” Steve says and then hangs up.

“Feel better?” Natasha asks. She gets up and goes behind the high back chair Steve is in so she can rub his shoulders. He’s tensed up, but as soon as she starts he begins to melt. 

“I don’t want to see him hurt, Tash. He’s been through enough shit and then seeing her set off a whole new chain of events -”

“That you said she helped him work through. Remember? If she hadn’t been here while you were gone?”

“I know. I know. He’s head over heels for Stark’s sister, though. I haven’t seen him like this in….Christ, I don’t know. Before the war?”

“Did he sound happy, Steve?” she asks as she runs her hands over his shoulders and down his arms. 

“He did.”

“Is that what you wanted?”

“It is.”

“You can’t shelter him forever,” she reminds him. 

“Goddammit,” he grumbles. “I just wish I knew if this new personality of hers is legit or if this is a scam and she’s just…”

“Just what?” Natasha asks, coming around to the front of the chair. Steve pulls her into his lap and holds her tightly, nuzzling her neck and ear as he does.

“Using him for something. I don’t know -”

“Well...I’m supposed to do self defense shit with Pepper and Chase tomorrow.”

Steve looks up into her eyes, clearly surprised to hear this. She knows what he wants without him even asking. Feel out the situation with Stark and see if she’s the real deal.

“I’ll see what I can do, but I am not going to get in the way of Barnes and Stark. Neither are you. So, unless this is some next level HYDRA or some other terrorist bullshit scheme we are leaving them alone, regardless of what I find out, right?”

Steve mutters something and looks away. She lifts his chin and makes him look her in the eyes.

“Captain Steven Grant Rogers.”

“Jesus Christ. Fine. Fine.”

She kisses him, slipping her tongue into his mouth. She repositions herself so she’s now straddling his lap on the chair. He’s pulling her shirt off and then looking for the clasps to the bra trying to get them undone in a hurry. He’s destroyed countless bras this way, which she finds hilarious. 

“I hate these goddamn things,” he growls. She laughs a little and helps him out, taking the bra off and flinging it to the couch. He’s all over her chest with his hands and mouth, greedily squeezing, licking and sucking. He knows what to do to fire her up and he’s damn good at it. She stops him long enough to remove his shirt, exposing his smooth chest. She rakes her nails down over him and he moans loudly. 

He’s up off the chair with her in his arms in a split second. He sets her down and immediately works on stripping her from the rest of her clothes. She lets him. Watching him work himself up into this kind of frenzy drives her wild. He’s like a mad man and when he finally gets what he wants she’s the beneficiary of some high octane orgasms. 

He strips out of his clothes, his cock standing at attention for her. She decides to mix things up a bit. She pushes him back down into the chair and settles herself on the floor between his legs. She swallows him, going down as far as she can listening to his moans, his hands on her shoulders. She bobs up and down on him slowly, relishing the effect she can see she’s having on him. She gives him a few more licks and sucks before she stops. No point in him having all the fun. He pulls her up and spins her around, bending her a little at the waist. She’s got nothing to balance herself with and he’s already rubbing himself along her ass and her heat. He grabs her hips and pulls her back onto his cock with enough force that she loses her balance. He catches her, keeping an arm locked around her waist, the other holding her hip for traction as he pumps into her. Her legs ache and her knees start to feel weak as he continues. He’s moving his support arm to a new position...so he can toy with her clit and force her into a faster orgasm. His plan works, she’s all but screaming his name and he’s got to use both arms to keep her upright after she climaxes just so he can come himself. 

For someone who had little experience when she met him, Steve’s gotten pretty goddamn good at what he can do to her now. 


	125. Chase's Epiphany

Chase waits for Bucky in the living room of his apartment. She’s still thinking about what he said - how can she expect to convince him he’s worth being loved if she doesn’t believe she’s worth the very same. It had just been kind of a joke, a cruel one, that she just kind of accepted. He’s forced her to actually deal with that issue now, and he wants to be the one to show her she’s worthy of love, too. She’s more than just a little moved by this, but she’s still skittish. Is this third go round with Bucky going to be the last? Will it work this time? Will she be able to trust him? Is he going to hurt her? Hundreds of questions keep running through her mind as she looks around his living room. She’s got two choices from this point forward - trust him and let things play out, or walk away and wash her hands of all of this with Bucky. 

“What are you thinking about?”

She jumps at the sound of his voice. 

“Hey! It’s okay. I didn’t mean to scare you, kitten,” he tells her. He closes the gap between them and puts his arms around her and pulls her against his body. There is a substantial difference in body mass between this one and the others….

She stops and drops her arms from him. He backs up and looks at her, she can see he’s on the verge of panic. She blinks a couple of times.

“Chase?”

She’s just realized she’s been comparing him to the others. Constantly. And in order for her to trust him, to get past this and give this man the benefit of the doubt she  _ has _ _to stop doing this._ She has to let go of the past, at least the past that involves the others. She’s here now. This is her present, and maybe he’s her future.

She takes his face in her hands and presses her lips to his. He’s momentarily stunned, but regroups fairly quickly, pulling her back into an embrace.

She lets him go and sees he’s gone from looking panicked to looking surprised and very happy. 

“I missed something,” he says.

“Just a slightly overdue epiphany of sorts,” she says. She runs her fingers along his beard and he smiles. 

“Care to tell me what it was? It must have been something good if you decided to kiss me.”

“You didn’t want me to kiss you?” she asks, sort of teasing him, but sort of questioningly. 

“I’ve been dying to kiss you since the night you brought me back from the brink at the elevator,” he says softly. “I didn’t want to rush you. I don’t want you to feel forced into anything.”

She runs her hand over his cheek. He takes that hand and kisses the back of it, his blue eyes shining brightly. 

“I want to try and make this work. You and me. No bullshit. No threesomes, no fucking semantics. Just us. You’re right. I can’t expect to convince you that you deserve to be loved if I don’t believe I deserve it, too,” she explains. 

“We can do this, Chase. We’ll make this work. I will do everything I can to show you I’m not them -”

She presses her finger to his lips to stop him.

“I know you aren’t them. I had to pull my head out of my ass in order to realize that.”

“I can still show you I can do right by you, Chase. I want to do that.”

She nods her head. There’s still the underlying fear he may hurt her, but that’s a chance she would have taken getting involved with anyone. He lifts her chin and kisses her. He’s not the only one dying to feel safe and adored, she is, too. 

“Did you do what you needed to?” she asks.

“Yeah. I just need to get some other things. You’re still okay with me getting stuff for your place?”

He’s looking for reassurance that she’s still down with this plan. She gives him her best smile and he lights up.

“I told you, I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t want you to do it.”


	126. Bucky and Chase

Bucky leans on the cart following Chase through the store, a smile on his face. She’s going aisle by aisle to get what they need. They. He likes how it sounds. His only hang up right now is that he’s not going to be able to pay for everything until he gets onto payroll. He’s hoping that will be soon. Maria left him a message, but with all that’s happened he’s not bothered to call her back. He’ll have to do that tomorrow after he gets back from his run with Steve. He doesn’t want Stark paying for his necessities and he wants to be able to take care of Chase’s needs. 

He finally notices that she’s looking at him, that playful smile on her pretty pink lips. 

“Where are you at, Bucky?” 

“Here. Watching you shop,” he says and smiles grandly. 

“Uh huh. How do you like your meatloaf?”

“Cooked?”

“Jesus Christ on a crutch,” she groans and then laughs. “What kind of meat do you use?”

“Kitten, I don’t know. I never made it, I’ve only ever eaten it. Do it how you do. I’ll eat it.”

“You might not like it.”

“If you make it I’m going to eat it.”

“I’m talking about meatloaf.”

He cocks his head to the side and blinks. Did she just drop a sexual innuendo on him? 

“Smartass,” he says trying not to grin. “What do you put in it and so help me if you say meat…”

This makes her laugh. 

“You got me, chief.”

“Sarge.”

“You got me, Sarge.”

“I prefer baby.”

“I’m about to beat your ass,” she says laughing more now. He’s laughing, too. He’s forgotten how much fun just hanging out with a pretty dame can be.

“What do you put in your meatloaf?” he asks, reaching for her hand. She gives him her hand and he pulls her closer. Her jacket is unzipped and she’s warm, he can feel her body heat through his own jacket. 

“You’re cold still, baby. Your arm is like ice,” she says looking concerned by this. “We forgot to put the sleeve on.”

“I’m alright. We’ll finish up and I’ll get warmed back up once we get home.”

She lights up when he says home. His heart skips a beat. 

“You need a heavier coat and you need pajama pants. You can sleep in your shorts,” she says stopping him before he can contest that, “but you need something to keep you warm until we go to bed.”

“We can talk about that when we get home. Fair?”

“Fair. Meatloaf is ground sirloin, veal and sausage, egg, breadcrumbs, seasoning, spaghetti sauce.”

“That sounds amazing, Chase,” he says impressed. 

“What do you want with it, baby? Mashed, baked, fried…”

“Mashed? With gravy?”

“Are you sure?” she asks and smiles a little more.

“Yes.”

She leads him to the meat counter, they get what she needs there, and then finish up getting the rest of the items they both need. Bucky makes sure to get another toothbrush and deodorant. 

“You want to grab soap or body wash for yourself? And shampoo if you want?” she asks.

“Probably should. Yours smells nice, but it smells better on you. The shampoo and conditioner...I like yours.”

“Keep using it,” she says and shrugs. “Did you still want to get a razor?”

He scratches his chin and looks at her. He wants her to be pleased with his appearance, but she’s not made any indication one way or the other which she’d prefer - clean shaven or beard.

“I can get one. Do you want me to keep it? I can get rid of it -”

“Stop. Do what you want,” she says running her fingers along his jaw. 

“I’ll get one. If I decide to get rid of it,” he says. He grabs a razor and some shaving cream and adds them to the cart. He catches Chase yawning.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be, kitten. I know you’re tired. I’m tired. Still. Are we ready to go home?”

“Doesn’t matter if we are or not, I’m done. You’re tired, cold and sore. Come one, baby,” she says leading him to the checkout line. He follows her, watching the sway and swish of her hips and wishing that her coat was a little shorter so he could get a better view of her ass. He’s eager to get back to her place and get warmed up and hopefully cuddle with her under that blanket. The cold in his left arm is still burning into his chest on his left side and his right side isn’t doing much better right now. 

She unloads the groceries onto the conveyor belt, they get scanned and bagged. He’s watching the total. He knows just how much he has left from the money Steve loaned him. It’s enough to cover this bill and get them back to the tower with literally nothing left after that. She’s already got her card ready when the cashier gives them the total. He hands the girl the cash quickly. 

“Put that away,” Chase says. “I’ve got this.”

“I’ve got it, Chase,” he says firmly. The cashier is looking between the two of them. Bucky nods his head to her, and Chase scowls at him. 

The girl takes the money, gives him his change and tells them to have a good night, which equates to GTFO of my line. 

“You didn’t have to do that, Bucky,” she says in a low voice as they head outside. 

“I wanted to. Are you mad?” Based on her tone he’s not sure if she is or not. He doesn’t want to piss her off, especially now that he’s finally out of the friend zone shithole. 

“No, I just don’t think that was necessary.”

“It was, Chase. For me it was,” he tells her. She pauses for a moment and looks at him quizzically. He smiles at her in hopes she’ll let it go. She shakes her head briefly and they continue outside. He hails a cab, the wind biting into his left arm fiercely. He finally gets one to stop.

“Get in the cab, kitten. Don’t stay out here in the wind,” he says taking her hand and kissing it. 

“Let’s just get this shit in the cab, baby. You’re shivering and you’re limping.”

He’d done his best to hide that from her and she still picked up on it. She’s loading the groceries is short order into the cab and with his help it takes only a couple of minutes to get done. They climb into the cab and she scoots close to him, taking his hands in hers and holding them. 

“Where to?” the cabby asks. 

“Stark Tower,” Bucky tells him, and then to Chase, “you weren’t supposed to notice, kitten. I’m alright.”

“You hurt. You’re used to just being left alone and dealing with it, right?” she asks gently. 

“It’s just something I’ve gotten used to, Chase. I don’t want you to worry. I’ve had worse...obviously. I’ll be alright. All I want to do is get back.”

She leans her head on his arm and sighs. 

“Will you do me a favor when we get home?”

“Anything. Name it.”

“Get undressed, get the blanket and the sleeve and get comfortable. I can make you some of the coffee we got or something else hot if you want and  I’ll put away the groceries while warm up.”

At this point there is no doubt in his mind he’s in love with her. He doesn’t know if there has ever been a dame in his life that has so willingly and completely taken an interest in his comfort and wellbeing like she has. He pulls one of his hands free so he can put his arm around her and pull her closer. He’ll do as she asks in hopes that he can help her get the groceries taken care of and then hold her. 

They pull up to the tower and he pays the cabby and Chase grumbles at him. He kisses her hand,and helps her from the cab. They grab the groceries and head inside to the elevators. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to take another hot shower? Maybe it will warm up your arm? You’re shivering pretty badly.”

He looks at his arm and then to her. She runs her fingers along his jaw, and he sees she’s worried. He’s freezing, but it isn’t just the cold, he’s exhausted and it’s taking its toll now.


	127. Shower and Off To Bed

Bucky shivers again and Chase pulls him into her arms. She can feel the cold radiating from his left arm even through the coat. It’s not a heavy coat to begin with, at least not heavy enough for a New York winter. But it isn’t just the cold that’s gotten to him. He’s exhausted and he’s hurt. He was fine when they went into the store but after a bit she noticed he was limping. He did a pretty good job of hiding it, stopping when he saw her looking so she didn’t see. 

He rests his head on her shoulder and holds onto her tightly. 

“I’ll be alright, Chase,” he says from her neckline. She can hear how tired he is now. She knows the fastest way to get him warmed up is to get him under the hot water. He doesn’t want to do that, he just seems intent on curling up with her. How fast is too fast this time? How far is too far? She wants to take a shower, too, to get rid of the chill she has, and the thought has crossed her mind several times to just take a shower with him. What harm could it do? He’s shown no sexual interest in her thus far, which is both reassuring and infuriating. She decides against saying anything about the shower and tries another tactic.

“Will you take a hot shower for me? By the time you’re done I’ll have all this put away, you can climb under the covers and I’ll get in the shower after that.”

He lifts his head and looks into her eyes. There’s something on his mind, but she’s not going to guess what it might be. Trying to decipher him may cause more harm than good. What is clear is that he’s struggling to with what to say to her. 

“Say it, baby. Whatever it is, just say it,” she whispers. She touches his face as she says this. His brow furrows and he looks down for a moment, but only a moment.

“This is just a suggestion. You don’t have to...I don’t want you to think I’m just after one thing. We’re both tired and I’d rather fall asleep next to you knowing you’re warm and in bed with me….”

He’s hesitating like he’s trying to find the right words to say. 

“Bucky,” she says as she runs her fingers through his hair, “say it.”

“Take a shower with me,” he says finally. “I’m not after anything, kitten, I swear to god…I just…” 

His words falter again and he looks down. They’re thinking along the same lines. 

“We can put this shit away, take a shower and go to bed,” she says running her fingers through his hair once more. He smiles, but he’s so tired that it looks pained. He sheds his coat and takes hers to hang them up. Chase makes quick work of putting everything away. He’s rubbing his side a little more frequently by the time she’s done. 

“Come on, baby.”

He takes her hand and they head back to the bathroom. He strips from his shirt and she sees why he’s been rubbing at his side, the swelling is much more pronounced now. She winces when she sees it. 

“You need to have that looked at,” she says reaching out to touch his side, but stopping just before she does. He takes her hand and holds it to his chest over his heart. 

“If it still looks like this tomorrow I will. I promise.”

She can feel his heartbeat under her fingertips. She puts her other hand to his face and kisses him.

“I’m going to hold you to that, James Barnes,” she whispers when she lets him go. He rests his head against hers.

“I know you will. I’m all for it.”

She steps back from him for a moment and pulls her shirt over her head. Despite knowing full well he’s in no condition to do anything and that he told her he wasn’t after anything his eyes widen when he sees her exposing more skin. She strips out of her pants, smiling because he’s watching with his head tilted just so. 

“You know you’re beautiful, right?”

She shrugs. “I know I’m cold standing here waiting on you,” she says being a little playful. He grins sheepishly and strips completely down. That’s when he gets self conscious again. He keeps his eyes down and avoids looking at her. He’s thin, but he’s still all muscle. The scars on his arm are discolored from the cold. She puts her hands on his chest and he jumps a little, but he looks up.

“You’re very handsome yourself, baby, despite what you think,” she says running her fingers up and down his chest. He kisses her cheek and goes to hug her. The iciness of his left arm when it makes contact with her skin makes her jump and gasp. 

“Shit! Kitten, I’m so sorry!” he apologizes, quickly moving his left arm and holding her with his right arm. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” she says holding him gently. He’s breathing rapidly and holding his left arm behind his back to keep from making contact with her skin again. 

“I’m didn’t mean to freeze you, Chase,” he says softly. 

“I know,” she says letting him go and reaching behind her back to undo the clasps on her bra. He brings his left arm back around and as carefully as he can undoes the clasps without touching her bare skin. She pulls it off and tosses it on the counter. She steps out of her panties next. He puts his right arm around her waist and pulls her closer. 

“I want nothing more than to run my hands over you, but I’m tired and I know you are, too, Bucky. Tomorrow is another day, okay?”

He gives her a tired smile.

“I’d like that. Let’s get warmed up and go to bed.”


	128. Bucky Makes Mention of Rogers The Goat

Chase hears a phone vibrating almost nonstop on the other side of the bed. She opens her eyes and momentarily forgets where she is again. She sit up trying to find her bearings. The phone is silenced and she feels a hand on her back. She jumps and slides quickly away. 

“Chase. It’s me. It’s Bucky. You’re alright. Friday, turn on the hall light.”

The light from the hall illuminates the bedroom just enough that she can see where she is. She’s scared to look at Bucky for fear she’s gone back to one of those other dimensions. Her heart feels like it’s going to hammer right out of her chest. 

“Chase?”

She’s turns in the direction of the voice, still fearing what she may see. It’s this Bucky. From this world. He’s extremely concerned. Her head feels like it’s swimming suddenly and she closes her eyes and puts her head in her hands. He slides next to her and pulls her back until she’s laying on him. He holds her tightly, kissing her head and playing with her hair.

“I’ve got you, Chase. You’re safe,” he promises. She can hear his heartbeat from her nested position on his chest.  Listening to his heartbeat and being in his arms has calming effect. The phone goes off again. 

“I’m alright, Bucky. Get the phone,” she tells him as she sits up a little. He only lets her get so far, holding onto her with one arm while he reaches for the phone with the other. 

“It’s Steve,” he says silencing the phone. The phone starts going off again..

“I’m alright,” she tells him. “Talk to him before he comes over and kicks the goddamn door in.”

She hears him snicker a little as he answers the call. He keeps his right arm wrapped around her, running his fingers lightly over her arm.

“What?...I’m up...I’ll meet you in about ten,” he says and then disconnects. He drops the phone back on the nightstand and puts his other arm around her. 

“He wants you to go running. Are you sure you’re up to it?” She asks. She’s worried about his side. 

“I’ll be alright. I’d like to do this with you later on, though,” he says softly. She smiles. 

“Wish granted. Don’t over do it and hurt yourself any more than you are, please.”

He hugs her and she hears his heartbeat has increased just a bit. 

“Let me get changed, kitten. I’ll be back later - at you okay with that?  Me coming back?”

“I want you to come back, baby. Who else is going to cuddle with me?”

“Better not be anybody but me. I’ll beat their asses.”

“You’re cute. Go get ready,” she says looking up at him. He kisses her and smiles, but he doesn’t move. He runs his fingers along her cheekbone, his blue eyes shine in the dim light. 

“You’ll be here when I get back?” He asks.

“If I’m not the code is 1940. That damnable dress is supposed to be delivered today at some point, so I shouldn’t be straying too far.”

“When is this thing of his?”

“Friday. I think.”

“Are you going alone,” he asks kissing her cheek and sliding from the bed. 

“Do you want to join me?” She asks.

“I do. I just don’t have anything proper to wear.”

“We can fix that, baby,” she says not masking her delight at hearing this. 

“I wouldn’t want my best girl getting flanked by a bunch of clowns. And I want to see you in that dress,” he says with a playful smile. 

“Your best girl, huh?” 

Now he’s really grinning. He pulls the shirt over his head covering his chest and then grabs the arm sleeve.

“Yeah.”

“As opposed to the other less than best girls you’ve collected?” She teases.

He laughs. 

“No other girls, Chase. Just you. Only you. You’re all I want, kitten and all I need.”

Her heart flutters a little in her chest when he says this. Goddammit she really wants this to work out this time. 

“You sure? You didn’t leave a pretty little thing in Wakanda in tears?”

“Just the goddamn goat I named after Steve.”

Chase cracks up laughing to the point she’s in tears. He’s laughing as he finishes getting dressed.

“Why?” Is all she can manage to ask before she starts laughing all over again. He crawls on the bed and kisses her temple.

“Tell you later. See you in a bit, kitten.”

He heads out of the bedroom and a few moments later she hears the door close. She decides to check her own phone and sees a missed text from Tony from last night telling her to meet Pepper at 6am for self defense bullshit with Natasha.

“God-fucking-dammit, Tony,” she growls. It’s 530 now. She rolls out of the bed and grabs clothes for herself and heads to the bathroom to clean up a little. 


	129. Steve Sees Bucky Starting To Come Around

Steve meets Bucky at the elevators. Bucky’s smiling maniacally. He sees Steve and bellows laughter. Steve glares at him and Bucky just laughs more. He’s glad to see Buck’s in better spirits, at least.

“What the hell, man?” He asks when Bucky finally gets to the elevators.

“Rogers the goat. I told her the only thing I left in Wakanda was the goat I named after you and she about pissed herself laughing.”

“Which seems to have had the same effect on you, you shithead,” Steve grumbles.

“Only because it went after you after I freed him from the fence,” Bucky says and starts a fresh wave of laughing. Steve nods his head but he’s laughing now, too.

“I’m glad to see you laughing, Buck. You look a hell of a lot happier than you did a few days ago,” Steve says.

“It’s her. It’s all because of Chase. I like her.”

“I know you do, Buck,” he says as they head outside.

“She makes me feel like I’m worth something. I think I almost forgot what that’s like, kid.”

Steve nods, he knows Bucky was damn close to disappearing and just being an empty shell. If Chase can keep that from happening, if she can keep that happy, shit eating grin on Buck’s face, then Steve will do whatever it takes to make sure the two of them stay together and are happy with each other even if it kills him.

“How’s Natasha?”

“Training Chase and Pepper.”

Bucky stops.

“Why?”

“Tony wants her to learn self defense,” Steve says and shrugs.

“I can protect her,” Bucky says defiantly. Steve shakes his head no.

“You’re not always going to be available, Buck. Same with Tony.”

“Such bullshit,” Bucky growls.

“You’re telling me that her learning to defend herself is a bad thing? Say you were at the tower and something happens. Wouldn’t you feel better knowing she can defend herself on some level?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Bucky says dismissively. Steve knows it’s just Bucky wanting to display his strengths and ability to defend Chase.

“She’s in good hands, Buck.  Tash will get her up to speed quick enough.”

“Do you have a tux or know where I can get one?”

This catches Steve off guard.

“For what?”

“Tony’s having some party and she’s going. She ordered this dress, Steve...I want to be the one whose arm she’s on.”

Bucky doesn’t just like this girl. He’s madly in love with her, and Steve finds this just so goddamn sweet. He loves Buck like a brother and seeing him finally showing some signs of life again is the best gift Steve could have asked for.

“I’ll make sure you’re covered, Buck,” Steve promises.

 


	130. The Heat Is On

 

Chase heads back up to her place. She’s sore, sweaty, tired and crabby. Natasha had pushed her well beyond her limits and in the end Chase and just launched into a full frontal assault on Happy who could only hold his hands up to try and shield himself. It wasn’t just the physical aspects of her pushing, either. She was asking questions that Chase doesn’t think pertain to jack shit. Natasha is a spy, somebody is looking for something on her. Maybe it’s Steve. Maybe it’s Tony. Maybe it’s SHIELD. She’s been thrown into the mix so many times with all of them it shouldn’t matter. She’d given Natasha the answers she felt Natasha deserved, most being short one word responses. She wonders if this is some half-assed way of making sure Bucky doesn’t get hurt or isn’t put at risk. 

She opens the door and sees Bucky get up from the horrible couch, a big smile on his face when he sees her. He hasn’t showered yet from the looks of things, his hair pulled back in ponytail with a few stray strands hanging around his face. 

“Hey, kitten. Your dress is here,” he says picking up the box from the couch. She puckers her lips and then smiles. 

“Nice. How long have you been home?”

“Home. I like that. Not long. Steve told me you were doing defense training with Nat. I wanted to wait for you to get done.”

“How’s your side,” she asks taking the box from his hands and putting it back down on the couch. He puts his arms around her and kisses her lips and her temple. 

“Tender. It looks a little better,” he says. He lets her go and pulls up his shirts to show her. Sure enough it looks a lot better, the bruising is still there, but it’s not as swollen and puffy as it was last night. She runs her fingers lightly over his ribs.

“It looks a lot better, baby. How did the sleeve work?”

“Like a goddamn dream. My arm is still cold, but it’s so much better, Chase. Thank you.” He pulls his shirts off and then looks at her like he’s seeking her approval. She smiles and runs her fingertips over his chest and abs. 

“It’s still dry outside?” She asks. 

“For now, but it’s coming. You want to take another shower with me?” He asks brazenly. 

She looks up at him in moderate surprise. That fire has been doing a slow burn since this morning when he left and seeing him shirtless and the scent of his skin has fanned the flames into a bonfire.

“Yes.”

“Really?”

“You seem surprised,” she laughs.

“I just figured last night was a one and done thing, I didn’t think you’d agree to it again,” he replies honestly. 

“Why? I like seeing you naked,” she says and smiles pleasantly. He blinks a few times and then gives her that side grin she adores so much. 

“Yeah? You’re not disappointed?”

This breaks her heart. 

“No, baby. I am far from disappointed in anything with you. I promise,” she says caressing his cheek. He leans into her touch and closes his eyes.

“Thank you,” he whispers. She puts her arms around him and he holds her tight, burying his face into the nape of her neck. He’s still trying to come around to the fact that he’s not a monster or something less than human. 

“I didn’t do anything but point out the obvious, baby.”

“It’s not so obvious to me,” he says in a quiet voice. 

“You don’t see what I do, baby,” she says as she rubs his back slowly. 

“Maybe not,” he says lifting his head. “Want to get showered and cuddle on the bed?”

“Cuddle or fool around?”

“Yes,” he answers. 

“It wasn’t a yes or no question,” she says trying not to laugh.

“It is now.” His smile falters for a moment. “I don’t have any protection, Chase. I don’t know how you feel about kids or if you want them or if riding bareback is something you’d consider if you were on something. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

She’s a little dumbstruck by this. Protection was never mentioned by the others. Ever. But he’s different, so very different. 

“I don’t have anything either, baby. I’m not on anything,” she tells him. Not exactly how she wanted this conversation to go right now. Even if all they did was just grope at each other she’d be happy with that. He rubs his hand roughly over his chin. Based on the look on his face and the burning need in his eyes, she’s not the only one who wants some action. 

“I can run back out to a drugstore. I can be back in less than ten minutes.”

“It’s sleeting outside, Bucky.”

“What?”

Chase points up to the ceiling. He cocks his head and listens. She’d been hearing it for a while, hitting the glass on the door to the balcony every time the wind blew. 

“I can still go. I won’t be long. Just don’t lose interest, okay?”

“All you have to do is walk around naked, Bucky, and I promise you’ll have to pry me off of you with a crowbar.”

He presses his lips hard against hers, running his hands down her back to her ass and pulling her up against him. He’s hard and she’s about to drop him on the couch and have her way with him.

“Ten minutes,” he breathes. “I promise,” he kisses her quickly again, grabs his shirts and has them on before he’s out the door. She had thought about stopping him and just telling him to forget it, she’d rather ride bareback and that condoms ruin the fun, but she’d freaked out when she thought she was pregnant the first time. She’d been careless again the second time and gotten lucky. She’s not sure if having kids is something he’s interested in. Hell, is he still slinging baby batter? Did they snip him at HYDRA? Or was that the only body autonomy they gave him?  


	131. The Weather Puts A Damper On The Fun And Games

Bucky runs down the hall past the elevators and to the stairwell. He can jump the landings faster than the goddamn elevator and he’s in need of haste right now. The look in her eyes when he left...she looked like she was going to pounce on him, and goddammit it took every bit of willpower he had to go get fucking condoms. The last thing he wants is a point of contention between them. He wouldn’t mind if she got pregnant. The thought of her giving him a little James B. Barnes, Jr. has him all sorts of daffy right now. Well, that and after seeing her naked last night and sleeping with his cock pressed against her ass, he’s in severe need of her body. Just to run his hands up over her legs, squeeze her plump tits, kiss every inch of her body and listen to her moan…

He’s got to stop on one of the landings because running with a hardon and blue balls is probably one of the most insanely painful things he’s done in a long time. He leans over, hands on his thighs trying to get himself to a point he can keep moving again. He’s afraid if he doesn’t hurry the hell up he’s going to get back and she won’t be interested anymore. Or she would have just satisfied herself. 

“Goddammit,” he groans at the thought of her spread eagle on the bed writhing around as she touches herself. 

He dumps himself out onto one of the other floors and impatiently waits on the elevator now. When it opens he starts cursing it to move faster. It takes forever to get to the lobby, but as soon as he does he’s out the door and running as fast as he can. 

The sleet is coming down hard and it stings like a bitch when it hits his face. The sidewalk is getting slick, he’s slid a couple of times now, but he’s caught himself, luckily. 

He gets to the drugstore and dips inside where he stops. Things aren’t set up like they were when he was younger-ish. He’s soaked, he’s cold, he’s horny and he’s got no idea where the fuck the condoms are. He starts working his way up and down the aisles till he finds them and then he gets even more irritated. Ribbed for her pleasure, lube, ultra lube, fire and ice, real feel…

He decides on the real feel ones in hopes it isn’t just a marketing gimmick. He’s not been inside a woman in years. Decades if he’s being honest, and the last thing he wants is to ruin the feel of her on him. He grabs what he thinks will work best and heads to the checkout counter. His body is going haywire at the thought of getting laid and it’s all he can do to keep his brain functioning right now. He keeps revisiting the idea of Chase on her bed naked, her legs spread, left hand squeezing her tits in alternating fashion while with her right hand she works herself over in the most delicious display.

“Would you like a bag?”

He looks at the guy at the register.

“Sure.”

The guy bags the condoms, takes the very last of Bucky’s cash and gives him a receipt. He heads back down the aisle to leave, looking in the bag trying to decide if this was the best choice. He’s burning time thinking about this. He heads outside where the sleet is coming down in sheets now. He debates on calling a cab until he sees how sparse the traffic is now. Running it is. 

It takes him nearly twice as long to get back to the tower this time. The sidewalks are almost a solid sheet of ice. He’s saturated till he gets inside. He gets in the elevator and presses the number for their floor. He leans against the wall of the elevator, the cold sinking into his skin. He hates being cold. Loathes it. It brings back too many memories. The last time he went into a deep freeze was in Wakanda and that was by his own request in hopes Shuri could help him. It’s not something he would do willingly again unless it was an absolute necessity. 

The elevator doors open and he heads down the hall. He enters the code for her place and opens the door. 

“Jesus Christ, Bucky!” she gasps when she sees him. She’s off the couch in a heartbeat. “Come on, get out of this shit.”

He’s all for that and hands her the bag so he can get the hell out of these frozen clothes. He strips slowly, his muscles feel like they’re locked from the cold. She takes the clothes from him as he hands them to her until he’s in nothing but his boxers shivering. 

“Sit on the couch, baby. I’ll be right back,” she instructs and then rushes off with his wet clothes. This is not what he wanted to have happen when he got back. Not in the goddamn least. 

He sits on the couch and shivers, arms wrapped around himself trying to preserve what little heat he has left in his body. Chase comes back a moment later with both blankets and a towel for his hair. 

“Hang on, baby. We’ll get you warm in a few, okay?”

She drapes one blanket over his legs and the other she wraps around his shoulders. She covers his head with the towel and dries his hair while he nestles into the fleece blankets.

“This isn’t what I intended to have happen,” he tells her as his teeth chatter. 

“I should have just kept you here,” she says. Her voice is heavy, she’s upset. 

“Are you mad?”

“No, baby,” she says sounding surprised by his question. “Why would I be mad? I’m worried, that’s all. You’re soaked to the damn bone and your teeth are chattering. I just want to get you warm now.”

He’s moved once more by her unconditional concern for his well being. He’s steadily falling for her, and he’s never been so scared and so excited in his life.


	132. Play Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut.

Chase sits on the coffee table in front of Bucky rubbing his legs under the blanket she’d covered him with. The damn fool went running through a sleet storm to get condoms and this is the end result - he’s on the couch soaked and shivering. She loves him for trying to do the right thing, for going out in this shit. She should have just kept him here, though. They could have done other things that didn’t involve penetration. She’s going to have to go to medical and tell them she needs to be put on the pill or something. 

“You want to get in the shower, baby?”

He smiles a little. 

“Are you joining me?”

“You’ll never get the condom on in the shower, Bucky.”

He skews an eyebrow at her like this is a challenge she’s making. She can’t help but chuckle. 

“I can wait till we’re done,” he says and grins. “See if those will work before we end up climbing the walls in here and taking cold showers or standing outside in the sleet.”

This makes her laugh a little as she grabs the bag and looks inside. 

“Real feel…”

“Not what you wanted, is it?” he asks. He sounds disappointed that she’s not pleased.

“Friend of mine told me using a condom was like deep sea diving in a raincoat. It takes away from the experience,” she explains. 

He smiles. 

“You’ll never understand that from a man’s perspective, kitten. The feel of a hot dame on you…”

She smirks.

“Oh, but I understand from a woman's perspective. The feel of an au natural cock inside my body is very,  _ very _ enjoyable and much preferred.”

That burning desire is back in his eyes now. She gets up from the coffee table and stretches. She hears him moan quietly from the couch. 

“You warm now, baby?”

“Are we taking a shower first?”

“First?” she repeats. He gets up from the couch, the blankets falling away, his boxers barely containing his erection at this point. He pulls her into his arms, locks his lips to her and goes after her tongue while his hands slide down over her hips to her ass. He lets her out of the kiss and looks to her for some indication of what he should do next. 

“Take a shower with me,” she says nearly breathless. 

“That was a challenge, wasn’t it?” he asks and smirks. 

“Maybe,” she says. She pulls her shirt off and he goes after her bra, removing it with haste. He throws it at the couch and scoops her breasts, squeezing them and twirling her nipples between his finger and thumb. He stops, pulling her back into his arms, his lips working their way down her neck, as he pulls her pants down over her hips. She helps him out by kicking them off and he repays her by running his fingers over her panty covered heat. She chases after his mouth, latching onto him and greedily seeking out his tongue as he slips his hand inside her panties. He moans so low it’s almost a growl. He pulls his hand from her panties, breaks their kiss and picks her up in his arms.

“Don’t forget the goddamn condoms,” she mumbles as she kisses his neck and jaw. He grabs the bag without losing his grip on her and carries her to the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and strips completely then begins arguing with the box of condoms to get at them and get one on. Chase tilts her head and smiles as he finally gets one out and on. She strips the last piece of clothing off and lays back on the bed. He’s just finished rolling the condom over his cock, his hand still on his shaft.  He climbs on the bed, kissing her thighs, her mid section, her breasts, her collarbone, her lips, leaning on his left arm for support while his right hand roams over her body as he makes his way up. He settles between her legs and guides himself inside her. He thrusts slowly and she’s immediately uncomfortable, the latex feeling like it’s rubbing her raw on the inside.

“Bucky...stop…” She can’t do this. It’ll be a week or more till she’s able to do anything again if she lets him go. 

He immediately stops and pulls out.

“What’s wrong, Chase? What happened?” He’s concerned something changed. “Did I hurt you?”

“Not you, but that thing has to go. It’s turning me into a raw steak,” she says. He’s not sure what the hell she means based on the look on his face. She slides forward and slides the condom off of him. The mere act of touching him there has him moaning loudly. 

“Chase…are you sure? We don’t have to -”

She pulls him into a passionate kiss, and he finds his positioning with her once more, thrusting deep into her, breaking their kiss as she moans loudly. This is much better. He’s found his rhythm, slow, deep thrusts, pulling up and almost out of her before pushing in again. He keeps his mouth busy on her neck and lips, kissing her each time she pants his name. He starts building more momentum, moving faster, but keeping up the same pattern as before. She grinds up into him, looking for that sweet release that’s building quickly now in her. 

She pleads with him to go harder, faster, and he does so willingly, sending her careening over the edge, her back arching, her legs shaking as she cries out and holds onto him as her body comes down from its high.

He slows and then stops, pushing himself up so he’s leaned on his left arm. He’s smiling, seemingly pleased with what he was able to do with her. She pushes his hair from his face and he leans down to kiss her softly. 

“You didn’t finish,” she says when he readjusts. His eyes widen momentarily. 

“Not important,” he says dismissively. She’s not having it.

“Up,” she orders. He seems shocked by this, but does as she says and gets up from the bed. She slides off the bed next and points to the bed.

“Have a seat, Sergeant Barnes,” she says and smiles. 

“What are you up to?” he asks with that half grin. He sits and she sinks between his legs. He immediately grabs the edges of the bed and inhales sharply already knowing where she’s going. She runs her tongue up along the thick vein of his cock, his legs open more, his head rolls back, and he moans. She does that a few more times before maneuvering herself to get to his sack and licking along the seam. His legs are shaking by the time she moves back to his shaft, slowly licking up to the head and running the tip of her tongue around the edge. She slides him between her lips and then down, down, down, till she can go no further. His hands are now on her shoulders, her name falling from his lips in breathless pants. She slides back up, making good use of the suction she can get on him and then goes back to licking his head slowly before going back down again. She increases her speed each down turn, her hands either fondling his balls and tugging gently at his sack or running corkscrew gestures around his shaft where her mouth can’t reach. 

“Chase…” he growls her name, deep and low, his grip tightens on her shoulders to the point it’s almost painful, his legs tense and he comes hot and fast. She swallows, keeping her mouth on him till his grip relaxes and his legs loosen up. She removes her mouth and licks his now sensitive head watching him shudder and whine her name. 

She sits back and wipes her mouth. He looks both impressed and satisfied.

“Good?” she asks with a playful smile.


	133. Bucky's Fingerprints

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brief smut.

“Now come take a shower with me,” Chase says as she gets off her knees from in front of Bucky. He grins and reaches for her. She’s rubbing her right shoulder and when she moves her hand he sees why. He hurt her.

“Goddammit,” he hisses as he gets off the bed so he can get a better look at the marks on her shoulder. 

“It’s fine, Bucky. You didn’t do it on purpose,” she says as she caresses his face. 

“No, it’s not fine, Chase. I hurt you….I didn’t think about what I was doing -”

“You couldn’t think at all because all the blood from your brain was in your cock, baby.”

She’s making light of the situation, trying to make him feel better. It’s not really helping. There are marks on both her shoulders from his fingers being pressed into her skin, but it’s so much more noticeable on her right shoulder. He runs his fingers lightly over the marks and winces. 

“I would never intentionally hurt you, Chase. I won’t ever do this again. I swear to god, I won’t,” he promises. He feels like absolute shit right now. He would never hurt her, but here she is with marks that will most certainly turn into bruises because of him. 

“Stop. Look at me,” she says lifting his chin so he has to look her in the eyes. “It’s not like you grabbed me during a fight or you tried to force me to do something I didn’t want to do. You were enjoying yourself and you got caught up in the moment. I’m not broken and it doesn’t hurt beyond being a little tender. Just stop. Please.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” he tells her again. 

“I know, baby. I’m not mad. I’m not upset. We’re okay,” she says putting her arms around him. He wraps his arms around her, running his fingers through her hair, and holding her tight. He rests his head against hers and sighs heavily. 

“I would never hurt you, Chase,” he whispers. “I’m so sorry.”

She leans back from him and tucks his hair behind his ears. She’s smiling patiently, her eyes are warm, there’s no sign of hurt or being upset. 

“Stop. Did you enjoy it?” she asks, the smile slowly changing to a playful grin.

“Immensely.”

“Do you want me to do that for you again sometime?”

He cocks his head a little, not sure where she’s going with this.

“I’d be a goddamn idiot to say no.”

“Then you’ve got to let this go. If I’m not upset about it, if I’m telling you it’s not as bad as it looks, if I’m practically begging you to stop worrying - don’t you think maybe you should listen?”

He understands what she’s getting at, but it doesn’t change the fact that he did it, he hurt her. 

“I am listening, Chase. It doesn’t make me feel any less like shit, though.”

“What will it take to make you feel better, baby?”

“No. You tell me what you want me to do and I’ll make it happen. Anything you want.”

“Take a shower with me, get dressed, and cuddle with me for a while. I’m tired, you’re tired, the weather is shitty and I just want to be with you, Bucky. That’s all.”

His heart swells so much at what she’s said he can’t breathe for a moment. 

“I can do that, kitten,” he says softly. She kisses him lightly on the lips and he hugs her and then lets her lead him to the bathroom. 

He starts the shower to let the water warm up and then goes back to look at her shoulder again. He’s not convinced she’s just sore, the difference in the imprints is dramatic. She shakes her head no at him and scratches his chin. 

“I’m just worried, kitten. That’s all,” he tells her. She kisses him softly on the lips. Once, twice, three times..the fourth time her tongue finds his. She presses herself up against him, her breasts tight against his chest, her hands sliding down over his sides and then over his abs to his groin. She lets him go and kisses his neck.

“Up for another round, Sergeant?” she purrs in his ear. He responds by sliding his hands down her hips to her thighs, lifting her left leg first and then her right leg so she can wrap herself around him. He backs her against the bathroom wall and she helps him find his entrance into her wet, hot pussy. He locks lips with her, balancing her against the wall as he grinds into her sweet heat, listening to her moan his name over and over. Her legs lock around him and she sinks her nails into his back. He feels her tighten around his cock and this time he’s not going to be able to hold off. He can feel his abs clench and with one final thrust he comes, planting her firmly to the wall to keep her balanced. 

“Bucky…” She’s out of breath, his name is coming out as a soft whisper.

“Are you okay, kitten?” he asks as he slides out of her. He slides her legs down till she’s on her own two feet, but he keeps her in his arms. 

“I am,” she answers with a very pleased smile. He looks at her right shoulder and she redirects his attention to her face and shakes her head no. 

“Shower?”

“Shower and then I believe I still owe you some cuddle time in your favorite blanket.”

He smiles and kisses her. He’s sure of it now - he’s in love with her. 


	134. Bucky's Question

Chase is lounged on the couch in Bucky’s arms as they watch TV together. He’s amusing her with his inability to find something to his liking to watch. He’ll select something watch it for a few minutes and then grunt before changing the channel. He does it again and she laughs.

“How the hell is there nothing on TV with five million fucking channels?” He gripes. 

“There’s stuff on, it’s just not what you want to watch.”

“What do you want to watch, kitten?” He asks before he starts nuzzling the side of her face. 

“I’m content to just lay here, Bucky.”

He holds her a little tighter for a moment before relaxing again. 

“I want to ask you something,” he says after a few minutes.

“Fire away.”

“The condoms were a waste. The second time I couldn’t hold back...I don’t want you to go on anything, Chase. Would it be so bad if we got pregnant?”

He throws the last part out quickly and she feels him bracing for her response. He wants a baby. Not even a week in and he wants a baby. With her. Why is she not panicked by this? Why is she not freaking the fuck out? Why is she...considering this…

“Chase? Kitten, say something, please…”

“Something.”

He growls and rubs his beard against her neck. She squeals and tries to squirm away and now he’s laughing and holding her tightly against him so he can keep doing it. 

“Bucky, stop…” she says through her laughter. He yields and goes back to holding her. 

“Chase.”

“Are you serious?” She asks sitting up so she can face him. The look on his face is all the answer she needs. There’s a such a deep look of love and adoration in his eyes that she’s not seen with anyone else ever. She’s stunned for a moment. 

“I am very serious. I love you.”

“Have you genuinely thought this through, Bucky? All you have to do is knock me up...I’m the one that gets stuck with the brunt of the work. You get to walk away if you so choose -“

“Not going to happen,” he says shaking his head. “I have been thinking about it since I ran out to the drugstore. A sweet little boy or a precious little girl...they’d have your beauty and charm and my debonair personality,” he says and then grins. He sits up a little and takes her hands in his own. She’s speechless at this point. 

“We’ll get married.  Not right away. I need to get on payroll and get money saved up so you can have the wedding you want…provided you would want to marry me, Chase...I know it’s fast. I know it’s only been a few days, but I love you more than life itself, more than anything I’ve ever loved or anyone. I want to spend my life with you, hear you laugh, see you smile, even when you’re pissed at me and you sound like a wildcat -“

“A wildcat,” she repeats and purses her lips. He smiles.

“I want to take care of you, Chase. I want to hold you always. I want to come home to you and a little one.”

He’s dead set on this right now. 

“And if you change your mind before, during or after the baby?”

“I won’t. Please just trust me on this. Why would I walk away from someone with such a beautiful heart and soul and a knockout body like you?”

“It’s not all sunshine and roses, Bucky.”

“I don’t expect it to be. That’s unrealistic. I want to know what pisses you off and I want you to know what pisses me off. I want to be the one that loves you till your last breath, Chase.”

Chase’s heart is beating fiercely. Is this really happening? He’s asking her to marry him and have his kid or kids…

She gets up from the couch.

“I’m about to get punked or get thrown into yet another fucking world or Loki’s going to appear and yell  _ GOTCHA _ or something….” 

She’s shaking now. Nothing goes this well. Not without some sort of catastrophic bullshit happening shortly there after.


	135. Chase Gives Bucky An Answer

“It’s not going to happen, kitten,” Bucky says. He’s never been more sure of anything, ever. She’s not going anywhere. This is all real and it’s happening. She’s scared something bad is going to happen. He’s not going to let it.

“Chase,” he says. “Put all that other shit aside. All that other ‘What if’ trash. Can you do that for me?” He asks. He needs her to calm down and focus on the good things. He’s almost certain that she’s agreeable to this, that she wants it as much as he does. At least he hopes that’s the case. 

“Bucky…”

“Try, kitten. Like you told me, you have to calm down a little, okay?”

“Yeah,” she says and then takes a deep breath.

“You know what I think. Without adding all that other stuff, what do you want to do, Chase?”

She’s quiet for a bit, her head down as she seems to think about this. 

“You really want this? This isn’t just some passing phase because you saw some dude out there with a baby looking crazy happy?”

“I really want this with you, but only if this is what you want.”

She’s quiet again. He can see she’s chewing on her bottom lip. 

“Not a passing craze?” she asks again.

“No.”

“So say a month from now I tell you I’m pregnant you’re not going to flake out and vanish with Steve’s help?” 

“No,” he says firmly. “I would be ecstatic, Chase,” he adds, making his tone a little more gentle. 

“How pissed are you going to be if I don’t get pregnant right away?”

This question makes his head spin a bit. She just went the whole opposite end of the spectrum. 

“Why would I be pissed? All I’m asking is for you to not go on any kind of birth control and when it happens, when we get pregnant, it happens. There’s no time constraints here, Chase. I don’t expect you to announce in the next month that we’re having a baby - that would be fucking fantastic, but not expected.”

“And you’re going to be up to late night runs for stupid food cravings, mood swings, crying fits, birthing classes….shopping for baby stuff?”

The last part of her sentence makes him smile. 

“I want to do all that. Midnight snack cravings? You’re in New York, kitten, somebody is always open and delivering and if not then I will go find whatever it is you’re craving and make sure you have it. Crying fits, mood swings...it’s all part of the process. And you’re damn right I’m going shopping for baby stuff with you. Hell, I might cry with you when we get started.”

He sees the smile slowly return on her lips. 

“What would you name your son?”

“James Buchanan Barnes, Jr.,” he says without hesitation. Now she’s really smiling. 

“Baby Bucky?” she asks. He pulls her into his arms and kisses her head. 

“Baby Bucky,” he repeats, absolutely loving the sound of that.

“And if we have a girl?”

“We could name her after her beautiful mother.”

“Oh, so Bucky Jr and Chase Jr? I don’t see that working out too well,” she jests. 

“Smartass,” he says with a laugh. He kisses her lips. “We can come up with names for her that we’d agree on. You know, while we buy her little pink dresses and bows.”

She puts her hands on his chest and looks into his eyes. 

“No trips to medical for birth control. Let the chips fall where they may.”

Bucky hugs her tightly. 

“I love you, Chase,” he whispers.

“I love you, James Barnes.”


	136. Pepper Has Noticed

Pepper and Chase are sitting on the mats in the oversized gym watching Natasha spar against Steve. Steve’s not really feeling the whole ‘come at me’ thing with her and is only making half assed attempts to attack her. 

“How are you and James getting along?” Pepper asks. She’s bored and so is Chase.

“Good.”

“You seem overly happy.”

“I am, Pepper.”

“I have good news for you. Well, you’ll think it’s good news, I’m not really happy about it.”

Chase looks at Pepper quizzically.

“Tony made a female IronMan suit that is running amok in the lab?”

Pepper blinks a few times and then grins.

“No. Not that I know of, at least, but I’ll have to check on that now,” she says. Natasha flips Steve on his back and he just lays there like he’s playing dead.

“Goddammit, Steve,” Natasha growls. “Do something.”

“Later.”

“Get a room,” Chase laughs. Pepper shakes her head. They see Natasha drop down onto Steve’s chest and whisper something in his ear. Steve’s eyes get huge. Natasha gets up and Steve bounces up to his feet. She goes after him again and this time he makes more of an effort to spar with her. 

“She’s good at motivating him,” Pepper laughs. 

“That’s so fucking disturbing,” Chase shudders. Pepper laughs more. 

“So, the party on Friday has been canceled, at least temporarily.”

“Well, damn,” Chase says trying to sound upset. Pepper gives her the side eye and then smiles. 

“Are you two learning anything?” 

Both Chase and Pepper jump a little at the sound of Tony’s voice. He sits next to Pepper on the mat and plays with some boxing gloves he found.

“Put those down,” she tells him.

“Whatcha doin’ there Rocky?” Chase laughs, egging Tony on. Tony bumps his now gloved fists together and grunts loudly. 

“Stop egging him on,” Pepper chides. “Put the gloves away, Tony.”

“I like them. Chase, I need you to write up what credentials you have from that security job you had.”

“You mean a resume, Tony?” Chase asks and then smirks. Tony takes one of the gloves off and tosses it at her. Pepper rolls her eyes.

“Sure, smartass, a resume. Just with that info on it.”

“I can do that. Your board members giving you shit about putting your sister on payroll?”

“No,” Pepper says before Tony can answer, “not yet. We want to make this as official as possible so it doesn’t look like nepotism.” 

“What she said,” Tony agrees. “It’ll also give me a little more insight into what you can do.”

“How soon do you need it?”

“Next couple of days would be nice,” Tony answers trying to take the other glove back from Chase. She bops his hand with the glove and then puts it on. 

“Oh it’s on now,” he laughs and then gets up. 

“Oh god,” Pepper groans. 

“Come on, turkey,” Chase says bouncing around the mat with her gloved hand up. 

“Turkey? Really?” Tony laughs taking playful swings at her hand.

“Gobble gobble. That’s all you say,” she teases. 

“Stark, Rogers, Romanoff. Colonel Fury wants to see you immediately. Barnes and Wilson are on their way now,” Maria barks as she enters the gym. Tony groans loudly and throws the boxing glove down. He helps Pepper to her feet and kisses her. 

“Chase.”

Chase looks around Tony and sees Bucky coming in quickly. She jogs over to him to close the distance between them quicker.

“Hey, kitten -”

“I know. Please be careful, baby,” she says putting her arms around him. He hugs her tightly and then kisses her, parting her lips with his tongue and vying for dominance briefly before letting her go. 

“I love you. I’ll be home soon,” he promises. He kisses her again quickly and then heads out with Steve and Natasha. 

Pepper and Chase are now alone in the gym. 

“Did he just say he loves you?”

“He did,” Chase answers. Pepper smiles. 

“He looks like he means it. Got any plans for the day?”

“Aside from Tony’s resume thing? No. Just trying to keep myself preoccupied till he gets home.”

“Meet me up in the penthouse after you get cleaned up. I’d like to see what training you have for cyber security and see if I can help you work up this document Tony needs from you. Okay?”

“Sounds good, Pepp. Thank you.”

Pepper nods her head and the two part ways. Chase heads up to her apartment and rubs her neck. She misses Bucky already. The apartment seems a little less bright without his blue eyes and wayward grin to light things up.

She heads to the bathroom to clean up and then go see Pepper. 


	137. Chase's Vision

Chase heads to the bathroom and strips down. She’s looking at her the fingerprints on her shoulder. He’s going to feel so bad if he sees this. She rubs her shoulder and out of the corner of her eye she sees what looks like a ripple in the mirror. She freezes, immediate panic settling on her. She looks up slowly at the mirror and only sees her reflection. She blinks a few times, wondering if she’s just imagining things. 

She goes back to examining her shoulders and she sees the ripple again in the mirror. This time there’s no mistaking what she saw. She reaches out and taps at her reflection in the mirror and the glass ripples making her reflection ebb away till it’s gone. The imagery changes and she sees a little boy with dark hair and striking blue eyes trotting after toy fire engine and laughing. The image ripples and changes now to show a baby boy being cradled by a teary eyed and very happy Bucky. She reaches out to the mirror and the image ripples away before she can touch it. The image now shows the two boys playing outside, toddling around a pile of leaves and laughing. The ripples slow and move to a slightly older Bucky, his hair is much shorter and the sides are showing threads of silver. In his arms is a tiny girl in a pink dress, her tiny hand wrapped around Bucky’s index finger of his left hand. He looks up and directly at Chase and smiles lovingly. He mouths the words  _ I love you _ . 

Chase feels incredibly woozy suddenly. The room spins and sways, the image in the mirror fading from her sight before she collapses to the floor. 

 


	138. That Cosmic Energy Is A Bitch

Bucky and Steve are following a very agitated Stark back into the tower. Tony had gotten an urgent message from Pepper, but it came through garbled and he hasn’t been able to get in touch with her since. Friday can only confirm that she’s in medical and that she’s okay. 

“Friday, call Pepper,” Tony orders. 

“Very well.”

Bucky and Steve exchange glances. Bucky’s trying to get Chase to answer her phone and he’s not having any luck now, either. 

“Tony?! Get to medical now! Chase passed out!”

Bucky drops the phone and then runs toward medical as fast as he can. 

He’s in medical in a matter of moments and nearly takes Bruce out when he gets there.

“Where is she? What happened? Is she okay? Where is she?” he demands grabbing Bruce by the shoulders.

“Easy! Easy! She’s with Pepper. Second door on the left. She’s alright,” Bruce tells him as he pulls Bucky’s hands off of his shoulders. Bucky moves Bruce out of the way and runs into the room scaring the living hell out of Pepper. 

“James!”

“Pepper...oh god, Chase…” he moans when he sees her. She looks like she’s asleep on the bed. There’s a BP cuff on her and a pulse/ox monitor. Her vitals all show normal on the screens at initial glance. He hears Steve and Tony come in just a few seconds later. Bucky sits on the edge of the bed and takes Chase’s hand. 

“What the hell happened?” Tony asks from behind him. 

“I don’t know. She was supposed to come see me and she never showed up. She didn’t answer her phone...I went to find her and Friday had to let me in. I found her on the floor of the bathroom,” Pepper says through her tears. 

Bucky sees Tony come along the other side of the bed and put his hand on Chase’s brow. She doesn’t move. 

“Bruce, what the fuck -” Tony demands. Bucky looks over his shoulder and sees not only Bruce by Dr. Strange.

“I called him. Based on what she’s been through, maybe he can answer what happened,” Bruce offers. 

Strange doesn’t say anything, just comes around to where Bucky is seated and basically forces Bucky to move so he can look at Chase. Bucky feels Steve’s hand on his shoulder.

“Relax, Buck. She’s going to be alright.”

Bucky can’t respond. He feels like his world has just stopped, like it’s frozen in time. 

“Has she complained of any pain or discomfort?” Strange asks. All eyes turn to Bucky. 

“No. She’s had nightmares, but she’s not said anything about being in pain or anything,” Bucky answers. “Is she alright? What happened?”

“She’s asleep. There’s a lot of cosmic energy coming off of her. It’s dissipating quickly, but...whatever happened may be a side effect of being exposed to the Infinity Stones,” he explains. 

“Is this going to keep happening? Is she in danger?” Tony demands. 

“She doesn’t appear to be in danger unless she hits her head and she’s alone.”

“That’s reassuring,” Tony snaps.

“I don’t know if this will keep happening, though. It may just be her body’s way of burning off the excess cosmic energy she was exposed to,” Strange continues, ignoring Stark’s remarks.

“What do we keep an eye out for? What do I need to do to make sure she’s okay?” Bucky asks. Tony diverts his attentions to Bucky now, his eyes wide in surprise.

“You?” Tony demands

“Tony, don’t,” Pepper pleads.

“Me. I want to take care of her, Stark -”

“Wait just a goddamn minute,” Tony growls, cutting Bucky off. “Haven’t you done enough?”

“Tony,” Steve groans. 

“Tony, stop. Can’t you see how worried he is? He cares about her,” Pepper states. She’s taking Bucky’s side and Tony doesn’t look very pleased by this. 

“Does she have any idea that you’re stalking her?” Tony asks curtly.

“You just don’t stop, do you?” Strange asks.

“I’m not stalking her. She knows how I feel. I’ve told her,” Bucky says flatly. He’s doing all he can to keep calm and refraining from telling Stark that he is, in fact, living with Chase in her apartment and that he’s been balls deep in her and that she’s absolutely fucking amazing in every goddamn way possible. 

“And how does she feel about this?” Tony asks. Bucky can see he’s struggling with this, and rightfully so given past events.

“She feels like she wants you fuckers to stop arguing because she has a splitting fucking headache and feels like her soul has been orbiting the sun for too long.”

“Chase!” Bucky yells. He pushes past Strange to sit next to her on the bed. Chase opens her eyes and smiles weakly.

“Hey, kiddo,” Tony says softly. Chase looks over to him and blinks.

“What the fuck happened?” she asks. 


	139. She's An Adult

Chase is now sitting up in the bed in medical. Her head hurts so bad it’s making her vision fuzzy and her whole body feels like it did when she woke up in Wakanda. She closes her eyes and puts her hand to her head. The others are debating as to what may have happened, something about cosmic energy and whatever. 

“Kitten, look at me.” Bucky’s voice is soft and he sounds scared. She opens her eyes slowly, the feeling of someone stabbing her skull with a knife intensifies and she closes her eyes again. 

“Do you remember seeing anything before you fainted?” Strange asks for what feels like the thirtieth time. 

“No,” she mumbles. “I was in the bathroom and then I was here.” Her stomach is rolling from the constant pain. She feels the cold from Bucky’s left hand on her cheek and she leans into it. The cold feels good, helping to ease the heat she’s feeling. 

“Where’s Bruce?” Bucky’s voice again, low and hard. The others stop talking for a moment. 

“Right here.”

Chase opens her eyes slowly, pays for it in spades and this time ends up gagging a little.

“Get her something to drink and something to keep her from tossing her cookies,” Tony orders. 

“Tell him what hurts, kitten.”

She points to her head. 

“How bad? Scale of one to ten, Chase?” Bruce asks. 

“Fifty-three.”

“Everyone out. Now,” Bruce orders. “Kallie, get a tech with an X-ray machine up here now. I want to see if she’s got anything going on. Get Max to start an IV drip and I want five of morphine direct inject into the IV. I want that now.”

Kallie, the nurse, rushes from the room. Bruce is pushing everyone out of the room after her. 

“Bucky,” Chase whimpers. She doesn’t want to be alone. 

“Not leaving her, Bruce,” Bucky tells him. 

“Fine. Everyone else, go,” Bruce commands. 

“Chase, I’ll be right here. I’m not going anywhere,” Tony promises. She opens her eyes slowly, squints from the pain and takes his hand.

“Go on before Bruce kicks your ass,” she says trying to joke. Tony kisses her brow, shoots Bucky a look and walks out with Pepper and Steve. 

“Open your eyes, Chase,” Bruce says. She can feel him sitting on the other side of the bed from where Bucky is seated holding her hands in his own.

Chase opens her eyes slowly. She sees the nurses come in and someone with some sort of machine following them closely.

“Can you follow my finger?” Bruce asks. She closes her eyes again and shakes her head no slowly.

“If I want to keep from puking no.”

“Get me some Phenergan. I’m going to have them take an X-Ray of your head, Chase. I need to see if there’s anything going on up there. If your head hurts that bad I want to make sure there isn’t an underlying issue,” Bruce explains. 

“Like what?” Bucky asks. 

“Stroke.”

“Jesus...how likely? If it is that what do we do?” Bucky asks. 

“Relax and let me worry, Bucky. Chase, we’re going to start you on an IV, get some fluids in you and I’m going to give you morphine for the pain and something for the nausea.”

Chase takes a hand from Bucky briefly to give Bruce a thumbs up. Bucky moves closer to the head of the bed where she is  and puts his arms around her. Chase leans against him and closes her eyes again. 

“Mr. Barnes, we’ll need you to move, just for a few moments, please,” the tech says. Chase opens her eyes as Bucky starts to slip away from her. She holds onto his hand, reluctant to let him go. 

“I’m right here, kitten. I’m not leaving you,” he promises. He lets go of her and Chase starts to cry. Her head hurts so bad and her body feels like it’s burning and all she wants is to be held. 

“Bruce,” Bucky warns.

“Make it fast,” Bruce orders the X-Ray tech. 

“Yes, sir,” the tech responds. “Stay very still, ma’am. Turn your head to the left, please, and take a deep breath. Good. Turn your head to the right, deep breath...good. All done,” he says. Chase feels someone pulling on her right arm and opens her eyes long enough to see a nurse prepping her arm for the IV and to see Bucky resume his seat and put his arms around her again. 

“She’s roasting, Bruce -”

“Her body temp is a little elevated, like she has a mild fever. We’ll keep an eye on that. I don’t want to pump her full of stuff with the morphine going into her system right now,” Bruce explains. 

“Small pinch,” the nurse says. Chase jumps as the needle hits her vein, fresh tears welling in her eyes. 

“It’s done, kitten. They’ve got the needle in. Close your eyes. I’m right here,” Bucky whispers. She closes her eyes and leans against him. 

“You should get some relief momentarily, Chase. I’ll be back as soon as I can see the X-Ray,” Bruce states. Chase hears the door close. 

“Do you feel the morphine yet, Chase?” 

“Yeah,” she answers tiredly. She feels him gently play with her hair. 

“What happened, kitten?”

“I don’t know, Bucky. I really don’t.”

“It’s alright. It’s alright,” he purrs holding her a little closer. She lays her head on his chest and she can hear his heart beating. 

“How is she?”

Chase hears Tony’s voice. She tries to open her eyes, but they feel like they weigh a ton. 

“Sleeping. The morphine knocked her out again.” Bucky’s voice is soft and barely above a whisper. 

“Have you heard from Bruce?”

“Nothing came back on the x-rays. Whatever happened upstairs caused the headache.”

There’s blissful silence now. She starts to doze off again.

“Are you staying with her, Barnes?”

“I’m not here to start shit, Stark. I’m not going to fight with you in front of her or at all -”

“I’m not asking you what you’re doing here, Barnes. I asked you if you are staying with her.”

“What happens if I say yes? Don’t lash out at her, Stark. Take it out on me, but don’t lash out at her,” Bucky pleads. 

“I’m not going to lash out at her or you, Barnes. She’s her own person. I’m not her keeper anymore than Rogers is yours,” Tony says sounding worn out. “Don’t fuck with her, though. If you hurt her, there is nothing in heaven or hell that will save you.”

“You're so scary when you sound grownup, Tony,” Chase mumbles from Bucky’s chest. 

“And you’re an asshole,” Tony replies casually. Chase opens her eyes finally and is relieved that doing so doesn’t make her head feel like it’s going to implode. 

“It’s genetics,” she says and smiles. Tony bites his cheek trying not to grin at her antics. 

“I think it’s because of the company you’ve been keeping,” he says. Chase can feel Bucky rocking a little as he laughs quietly. 

“I’m telling Pepper you said that.”

“I’m glad you’re back to normal. As far as normal goes for you,” Tony quips. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired. How long have I been down here?”

“About five hours,” Bucky answers. Chase sits up a little so she can face him.

“He’s been with you the whole time,” Tony tells her. “Even if he won’t tell me if he’s staying with you.”

“I am staying with her. As long as she wants me to,” Bucky says quietly. Tony nods his head. 

“If something happens I expect you to call me. My number is in her phone. Do you understand?” 

“Tony -” Chase protests. He’s talking to Bucky like he’s a bad dog.

“I’ve got it. You’ll be the first to know, Stark.”

“If you need anything, call me. Let him wait on you, don’t push yourself and if you feel sick say something.” Tony’s overwhelming concern comes through loud and clear in his voice. He takes her chin and smiles, looks at Barnes briefly and then leaves the room. 

“That went better than expected,” Bucky muses. Chase puts her head back on his chest and closes her eyes again. 

“That’s a good thing.”

“How are you feeling, kitten? How’s your head?”

“Better. I’m just so goddamn tired. I want to take a shower and sleep in our bed,” she says. 

“We can do that,” he says reaching for the call button. He presses the button and a nurse bustles in a few seconds later.

“How are we feeling?” she asks cheerily.

“Like I want to go sleep in my own bed.”

“She feels better,” Bucky answers with a small laugh. “Think we can get Bruce in here to let her go?”


	140. Bucky Gets Chase Back Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut, because that's how you get babies.

Bucky watches Chase rub her eyes in the elevator as they head back to her apartment. She’s still under the effects of the morphine and she’s very lethargic. 

“I want you to eat something before you go back to sleep, Chase. I’ll call somebody or I’ll ask Steve to go get something while you’re in the shower,” he says. 

“Don’t send him out. I’ll have a bowl of cereal. Just make sure you eat, too.”

“I’m not worried about me -“

“No, but I am,” she says cutting him off. He runs his thumb over her lips and kisses her temple.

“I’m worried about you, Chase.”

“Blame the cosmic energy bullshit Strange is so fond of. I’m not really happy about this either. That headache was fucking brutal.”

He runs his fingers through her hair as the elevator comes to a stop finally.

“Are you okay to take a shower on your own?”

She smiles coyly. He shakes his head and grins. She’s feeling a little better at least.

“If you want to take a shower with me, just ask.”

“I do, but not just to see you naked. Tempting as that is.”

“So…?”

“Alright, smartass. Come on. At least this way if you start feeling rough again I’ll be there to catch you,” he says and laughs when she sticks her tongue out at him. 

They head back to the bathroom and she struggles out of her shirt. He sees the bruises almost instantly on her shoulders. 

“Goddammit,” he hisses. She looks at her right shoulder and runs her fingers over the marks. She doesn’t seem phased one way or the other. 

“They’ll go away,” she says absently. 

“Not the point, Chase.”

“It is the point, James. We’ve been over this. Stop dwelling on it or you’ll have to get your blowjobs elsewhere.”

Any rebuttal he may have had is immediately silenced by this threat. 

“I don’t like it,” he mumbles. 

“It will be alright,” she says distractedly. She’s looking at her reflection in the mirror, head tilted, and she looks dazed. He comes up behind her, looking from her to her reflection and back. She doesn’t seem to notice he’s there. 

“Chase?”

She jumps a little, shakes her head like she’s trying to clear it and smiles at his reflection. He’s very worried now.

“Chase, look at me,” he says turning her around to face him. He lifts her chin and looks into her eyes. Aside from being glassy from the morphine she doesn’t look dazed anymore and she doesn’t seem confused. 

“What’s wrong?”

“I was about to ask you the same thing, kitten. What did you see in the mirror?”

She hesitates. 

“I don’t know. I saw my reflection, but it’s like there was something else there that I could see but couldn’t see. It makes no sense…”

“We’ll chalk that up to the morphine for now. Do you feel lightheaded or woozy, kitten?”

“Not really. Just like my brain is wrapped in lint.”

He lifts her chin and kisses her softly. She puts her arms around his neck and rests her head on his shoulder. 

“You’re still fully clothed,” she whispers. He laughs. 

“So are you,” he whispers back. She giggles and steps back from him. She steps out of her pants and he helps her out of her bra. He cups her breasts because they’re there and he can’t help himself. She runs her hands over his crotch and then unzips his pants. He pops the button and forces them down so he can get out of them. She runs her hands down his chest to his crotch and strokes him through his boxers. He picks her up and sits her on the bathroom counter then works on removing her panties. She pulls him closer and guides his left hand to her slick heat while she kisses his jaw and neck. He runs his finger over her clit before working his index and middle finger into her. She moans softly as he fingers her, rocking herself against his hand. 

“Are you sure you’re up to this, kitten?” he breathes into her ear. 

“You tell me,” she answers moving his left hand away and guiding his right hand there. 

“Oh god,” he moans when he feels how wet she is. He strips from his boxers in haste and goes back to running his fingers outside her heat to tease her, her moans exciting him that much more. She grabs his arm and pulls him closer, pressing her lips to his and forcing her tongue into his mouth. He scoots her forward on the counter a little and rubs the head of his cock against her before sinking into her wetness. She instinctively wraps her legs around his waist drawing him in deeper. He holds her hips, lifting her just a bit off the counter with each thrust into her. Her lips are at his ear, purring his name over and over, each deepening thrust she gets a little louder. She kisses his neck just below his ear and he feels himself getting dangerously close to coming. She leans back from him and smiles. He slows his thrusts, but doesn’t stop, watching as she grabs her left breast and squeezes while rubbing her clit with her fingers on the right hand. 

“That’s my girl,” he growls, thrusting faster and harder now as he watches her head roll back, moaning louder and longer with each push into her does.    


“Oh god…” she moans, her legs shaking, he can feel her pussy tightening on him as she comes. He’s right there, another thrust and his own orgasm spills out, filling her as she finishes with him. She leans against the glass, her eyes closed, breathing heavily. 

“Chase.”

“Bucky….”

“Come on, beautiful. Let's get cleaned up,” he says, putting his hand on her cheek. She opens her eyes and smiles. He lifts her off the sink and puts her gently on her feet, keeping her in his arms in case she loses her balance. She runs her fingers through his hair and smiles. 

“You’re the most beautiful girl in the world, you know that?” he asks. 

“Nah, you’ve got a contact high from the morphine,” she teases. He skews an eyebrow at her and laughs a little.

“Smartass. Come on. Let’s get cleaned up.”


	141. Bucky And Steve

Bucky sits down on the couch and picks up his phone. The first call he makes is to Maria Hill confirming his status on payroll, how to access his new salary, so on and so forth. He keeps his voice quiet because Chase is fast asleep in their bedroom. She’d barely finished eating a small bowl of cereal before she started to nod off again. He’d ended up carrying her to the bedroom and cuddling with her till he was sure she was sound asleep then he’d crept to the living room to make his call to Maria. He needs to get this shit situated so he can take care of Chase and eventually their baby. 

The next call he makes is to Steve.

“You okay?” First words out of Steve’s mouth when he answers.

“Yup.”

“How’s Chase?”

“She’s asleep. I have a favor. Can you come over? Quietly.”

“Yeah. Give me a few.”

Bucky hangs up and puts the phone down. He slinks quietly back to the bedroom to check on his girl. She’s still asleep on her side, holding the pillow he sleeps on. He gets this wonderfully warm feeling inside and his heart beats a little faster. She’s sleeping peacefully, she’s safe and he’s here to make sure it stays this way. He heads back to the living room just as Steve starts to knock.

“Shh…” Bucky hisses as he opens the door. Steve throws his hands up and steps inside.

“She’s still under the effects of the morphine?” he asks, keeping his voice low.

“That and she had some additional exercise before she fell asleep,” Bucky admits with a grin. Steve rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling.

“She has you spoiled.”

“Maybe.”

“What do you need?”

“Maria put me on payroll. It’ll be another week till the funds hit -”

“How much?”

“No. Stop. That’s not what I’m after, punk.”

“What the hell, Buck?” Steve asks perplexed. 

“I need to know that if something happens you’ve still got my back, Steve.”

“Till the end of the line, Buck. You know that.”

“You’re going to be the best man at my wedding.”

“That would go without saying...Buck, what are you talking about?”

“I’m going to marry Chase, Steve. I’ve already talked to her about it,” he says holding up his hand when Steve goes to protest. “I need you to back me up on this, Steve. You’re family. When she has the baby -”

“She’s not pregnant. No goddamn way,” Steve gasps.

“Not yet,” Bucky says with a big grin, “but when we do you’ll be Uncle Steve. Or Uncle Punk, whichever.”

“Uncle Punk. You’re an asshole,” Steve mutters, but Bucky can see he’s smiling just a bit. “You understand my reservations about this, right?” he says changing gears.

“I just met her. I don't know her. She’s Starks’ sister.”

“That about covers it, yeah. Buck, the last thing I want is for you to get hurt.”

“I get that, Steve. I appreciate it, but try and trust me with this. I just know this is right, that this is supposed to be. I can’t explain it, I just feel it.”

Bucky watches as Steve sits back on the couch and rubs his face roughly. He needs Steve to be his support here, he needs to know that he doesn’t have to keep this from his best friend, the man he has always considered a brother. 

“You love her, that’s pretty goddamn clear. I saw how she reacted to seeing you in medical. I saw her in the gym with you before we left. She’s done wonders for you and if you’re happy, if she’s happy and this is what the two of you want then I will be with you on this the whole fucking way, man. You better name a kid after me.”

“First boy is going to be James Buchanan Barnes, JR.”

“Jesus Christ,” Steve chuckles, “that poor kid.”

“Piss off,” Bucky says grinning maniacally. “If we have another boy, I will make every effort to convince her to put your name there somewhere.”

“You won’t have to convince me, boys. If we have another boy he’ll be Steven Anthony or Anthony Steven or maybe Anthony Grant or Grant Edward,” Chase says coming into the living room.


	142. Steve, Bucky and Chase Laugh About The Goat

Steve and Bucky both get up as Chase comes into the living room. Bucky pulls her into his arms and kisses her lovingly. Steve cannot honestly remember the last time he saw Bucky this mad over a dame. Chase is all smiles and affection with him and this makes Steve happy. This is what he wanted for Bucky, for the asshole to be happy. Finally. 

“How are you feeling?” he asks. 

“Better. Still a little fuzzy around the edges, but much better,” she says and smiles. 

“I want to thank you, Chase,” Steve begins, “for helping Bucky out. For doing what you did to get him back. I owe you.”

“Steve,” Bucky grumbles.

“You don’t owe me anything, Steve. Neither does he. I did it because I wanted to.”

“Be that as it may, thank you. The last time I saw this shaggy bastard this happy was when his stupid goat attacked me.”

Bucky’s laughing already. Chase’s eyes get big.

“Rogers? The goddamn goat?”

“Why is that his full name?” Steve demands. “Rogers, the goddamn goat. It’s like some sick title you gave that stupid animal.”

Now Chase is laughing. 

“Because he was a goddamn goat.”

“He attacked you?” Chase asks through peals of laughter. 

“This is why you like her so much. She has your sick sense of humor,” Steve mutters. 

“It’s funny,” Bucky says grinning. 

“Fucking hysterical,” Steve says shaking his head. Chase laughs harder. He’s amused that she’s so tickled by the shit with the goat. Bucky’s just happy to have her laughing and in his arms. 

“The goat attacked him...oh god...why did you name the goat after him?” She asks as she wipes tears from her eyes.

“Because the goat is a belligerent shithead.”

“Here we go,” Steve gripes dropping back down into the recliner heavily. “I’m the shithead. Of course I am.”

He’s intentionally egging them both on just to see them together and how they mesh. He’s not disappointed. There is a lot more of the old Bucky coming through right now. A lot more. 

“Why?” Is all Chase can ask before she has to sit down because she’s laughing so hard. 

“The goat was the most ornery animal there,” Bucky explains. “He’d intentionally try and jump the fucking fence every day and every day he’d get stuck and he’d scream. The only time that goddamn animal was nice was when the kids would chase him around and he’d skip after them.”

“When I was introduced to my name sake it was stuck in the fence screaming -“

Chase is now doubled over. Both Bucky and Steve are laughing harder not only at the memory but at the fact that Chase finds this so fucking funny. 

“Why?” she asks Bucky. 

“I missed Steve. The goat reminded me of him when he was younger and would lie on his entrance forms to the Army.”

“The goat lied?” Chase asks. Steve loses it and just howls with laughter. 

“You broke him,” Bucky laughs. Chase is still laughing, and Steve has tears in his eyes from laughing so hard. 

“Why did the goat lie?” Chase begs still laughing. Steve had just started to calm down and then he starts laughing again. 

“The goat didn’t lie,” Bucky tries to explain. Steve can hear him struggling to not laugh anymore and he’s failing, Steve is failing, Chase is gasping for air she’s laughing so hard. 

“The goat don’t lie,” she cries and then goes into a fresh fit of laughter. Steve looks at Bucky who’s shaking his head and trying not to laugh at her antics and Steve just laughs that much more. 

Fifteen minutes later and the three of them are panting and still having residual giggle aftershocks. 

“I’m going to go and see what Natasha is up to,” Steve says getting up. Bucky kisses Chase on the temple and gets up, as well.

“Don’t be a stranger, Steve,” Chase says getting up. Steve approaches her cautiously and opens his arms. She steps into his embrace and hugs him tightly. Bucky smiles approvingly. Steve knows now that Chase is here to stay and he’s going to protect her the same way he does Buck. 

“Give me a moment, kitten,” Bucky says kissing her temple when Steve lets her go. She nods her head and Bucky walks Steve to the door. They step outside into the hall. 

“You hold onto her, Buck. Do you understand me? Whatever this is that you two have it works both ways. She was miserable without you, you were miserable without her and now the two of you are together and it works. Whatever you need tell me and we’ll make it happen,” Steve states firmly. He’s convinced now that these two are the epitome of what soulmates are supposed to be. 

“No more concerns, kid?”

“Not anymore, Buck. Not anymore.”

“Still gonna be the best man?”

“You’re goddamn right,” Steve laughs. Bucky grins. 

“I need to find a ring.”

“Find out what she likes, I’ll talk to Natasha.”

“Thanks, Steve. For everything.”

Steve claps Bucky on the shoulder and grins. 

“I’ll see you in the morning, Buck.” 

 


	143. Talk Of A Ring And Babies And Things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More smut. Mating ritual continues.

Bucky comes back into the apartment and Chase is gone. He puckers his lips and looks around. 

“Kitten?”

“Kitchen.”

He heads to the kitchen and finds her sitting at the little island looking at her laptop. 

“You sure that’s a good idea after that monster headache, Chase?” He’s worried she’s going to get the headache back. Seeing her in so much pain that she was crying was brutal. Physical pain hurts less.

“I’ll be alright. We don’t have anything, Bucky. You and I literally have nothing here. Tony wants me to do a mock resume so he can put me on payroll -”

“He doesn’t need to,” Bucky interjects. “I talked to Maria. I’m on payroll, starting next week I get access to my salary. Anything you need I have it covered, kitten.”

“Yeah, no,” she says shaking her head at him. “This isn’t the roaring twenties, dear heart. I’m not a stay at home momma.”

“Not yet,” he says with a grin. She smiles.

“Ass.”

“You don’t need to work, Chase. I can take care of us both.”

“Be that as it may I want to work, Bucky. I can’t sit around here and do nothing while you save the world with Steve and Sam.”

“Fucking Sparrow,” Bucky grumbles. Chase giggles. 

“Sparrow?”

“Not a fan of that guy,” Bucky says flatly. “Tony offered you a job I take it.”

“Security for his security.”

“What the hell does that even mean?”

“I run security for his cyber security team.”

“Is that what you do?” he asks taking a seat at the island across from her. This is new information. If she’s doing cyber security she’s a hell of a lot smarter than he’s been giving her credit for. 

“It was in the other world. Apparently here, according to Tony, I was some kind of marketing manager. What the fuck ever that entails. I don’t remember any of it, though,” she ends her sentence on a sad note. He takes her hands in his own and squeezes them softly. 

“That’s the past, beautiful. This is the present and our future. You want to work and Tony wants to keep an eye on you - I can’t say I blame him after all this other craziness. Just please keep in mind that you don’t have to work, kitten,” he explains. He’d rather have her focus on their family as opposed to a career, but that’s him being selfish and old fashioned. Tony has the right idea at least. Keep her close and give her that feeling of being able to earn a living. 

“You’re crossing the line from old fashioned into archaic, you know that right?” she teases. He sticks his tongue out and smiles pleasantly. 

“Maybe. You know you agreed to the whole baby thing, but not to us getting married.”

She cocks an eyebrow and looks at him calmly. He’s seen agents that have blown their cover over less, and here she is with that unreadable goddamn look again….

“Getting married isn’t a necessity.”

“The sound of being Mrs. James Barnes doesn’t appeal to you? Not in the least?” he asks. He’s trying to keep his tone playful while secretly hoping she does want to get married. He wants this to be official, he wants it to be right. 

She smiles now, that warm smile he loves. 

“I never said it didn’t, Bucky. I’m just stating a fact.”

“Facts aside…”

“Are you asking me to marry you?”

He opens his mouth to say yes, realizes he doesn’t have a ring and snaps it closed.

“Eventually,” he says slowly. “Not right this very second.”

“I see. Then right this very second it only mildly appeals to me,” she teases. 

“Smartass,” he says and then laughs a little. He’s got to get a ring. Something as amazing and stunning as she is. Something she’ll be proud to wear. 

“Bucky.”

He blinks and then smiles. 

“Kitten.”

“What are you thinking about?” she asks. She’s back to looking at something on the laptop when she asks this. 

“What kind of ring to get you,” he hears himself say. He kicks himself for opening his mouth and covers his face with his hands. His mouth was in gear before his brain was. He peeks through his fingers and she’s looking at him with a coy smile. 

“I don’t need a ring, baby,” she says softly. 

“Even if I want to get you one, kitten?” 

Her smile gets bigger and he sees the hint of color on her cheeks. She’s so goddamn beautiful . 

“Is it that important?”

“Yes.”

“Surprise me, baby,” she says. 

“Surprise you. Okay. So...you will marry me?” he asks playfully.

“Maybe.”

He gets up from the island and scoops her off her seat.

“Smartass,” he growls from her neck as he holds her. She’s giggling as he carries her back to the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and then crawls on top of her, pinning her down with his body. She runs her fingers through his hair, and looks at him lovingly. 

“You’re very handsome, you know that?” she whispers. He kisses her softly. 

“I love you, kitten,” he says resting his head on hers. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I’m a lucky man. Pretty girl with a heart of gold who takes really good care of me and makes me feel amazing.”

“Is this the goat you’re referring to?”

He bites his lip and then runs his fingers over her ribs. She squeals and tries to escape. 

“The goat,” he repeats and then chuckles. “You know who I was referring to.”

“Does Steve know you call him a pretty girl?”

“You’re done,” he laughs as he tickles her more. She squirms underneath him laughing hysterically. 

“I’m sorry!” she cries trying to hold his hands back from tickling her more. 

“Who was I talking about?” he asks. He’s smiling like crazy because she’s amusing him to no end with her shenanigans. 

“I don’t know -”

“Alright,” he says going after her some more. 

“Me! Me!” she yelps. Bucky’s laughing, too. He stops tickling her and brushes a stray lock of hair from her face. 

“You’re beautiful, Chase.”

“You think so?” 

“I know so,” he whispers and kisses her. She puts her arms around him to hold him close and slips her tongue into his mouth. He ruts against her, his cock getting hard almost instantly. She moans into his mouth and starts pulling his shirt off. He pushes himself up and removes his shirt letting her run her hands over his chest. She kisses him again and then scoots back so she can take off her shirt. He cups her breasts and sucks on them individually making her moan louder. She’s working her pants off and he pulls them off them strips her of her panties. He slides down between her legs and licks at her clit sending her into a frenzy. His shorts are constricting him now and she’s pleading with him to take off the rest of his clothes. He obliges her and strips completely before going back to licking at her sweet heat. 

“Bucky…” she moans, running her fingers through hair. He licks her clit once more, nips at her thighs and works his way up her midsection to her breasts and then her neck and finally her lips. He settles his throbbing erection between her legs. He goes to kiss her again and she stops him, placing her hands flat against his chest to keep him from getting to her. He’s confused by this and he desperately needs to be inside her hot, wet pussy right now. She smiles wickedly and pushes him off of her.

“On your back, handsome,” she orders. He drops onto his back and she straddles him, taking his hands and placing them on her breasts and making him squeeze with more force than he’d normally use. She slides her slick opening over his cock, coating him with her juices and driving him deeper into the depths of his need for her. She keeps going, making him moan and now plead for her to let him in. She grinds down on him and he can feel his orgasm building with each pass she does over him. 

“Tell me what you want, baby,” she purrs as she slides herself slowly up and down over his shaft. He’s damn near delirious now.

“You,” he groans. “I need to be in you.”

“How badly?” She’s going to make him work for this. If he doesn’t come before he gets inside her he’s damn sure going to blow his load the second he does.

“Chase…” he pleads, rutting up against her in hopes of getting into that sweet pussy. She slows down even further, his balls draw up and he’s got to use every ounce of resolve not to come right now. 

“I want to come inside you,” he growls, squeezing her tits with the same force she’d shown him before. She lifts herself just enough to let him gain entrance and then settles on him and he has to brace himself. 

“Not yet,” she teases. He watches as she slides her hands down to her thighs and spreads the lips of her pussy a little wider. She starts to rock and grind on him slowly, her fingers working her clit in the most delicious display. He wants to come so badly right now and he knows he’s not going to be able to hold off much longer, especially watching her like this. 

“Chase,” he pants. It’s the only warning he’s going to be able to give, his balls are drawing up and his abs and stomach muscles are clenched…

She works faster, her body rocking on his and he can’t hold out any longer. He clamps his eyes shut, moving his hands from her tits to her hips to hold onto her as he comes hot and heavy inside her, moaning her name loudly as he does. 

She’s stopped. He opens his eyes slowly and she’s smiling, hands on her breasts, pinching her nipples. 

“You’re not planning on letting that go to waste are you?” he asks with a devilish grin of his own. 

“Not if you want me to have your son,” she answers candidly. He lifts her enough that he can slide out of her and then flips her easily to her back. He scoops her legs up so that her pelvis is elevated and drapes her legs over his left shoulder before positioning himself to get inside her again. His cock is overly sensitive from his previous orgasm, but he’s going to make sure she gets off and if he can get more of his seed into her, so be it. 

He moans as he gains entry, the positioning of her legs has her much tighter than before and goddammit does she feel amazing. He starts to thrust slowly into her, watching her left hand squeeze her right breast as her right hand goes back to running circles on her clit. Just watching her getting off while he’s inside her is enough to bring him to another climax. 

“Harder….” she pleads, her fingers working furiously on herself. He thrusts hard and deep into her, her tits bouncing and his balls smacking off of her. He’s coming again and he can feel her pussy clenching around his cock, drawing him into her as she comes, his name falling from her pretty lips in a breathless whisper. He lets her legs slide down as he finishes, and enjoys watching her finish herself off, feeling her legs and hips tremble as she hits that climactic finish. 

He lays next to her, arm draped over her side, face buried into her neck, trying to catch his breath. He’s hit the jackpot here. She’s got beauty, brains, a heart of gold, and she’s a hellion in bed. He couldn’t have imagined a better dame to be the love of his life. 

“Ready for bed?” she asks tiredly. He runs his fingers over her belly. 

“I am.”

She takes his hand and presses it flat against her stomach.

“Be patient. You said you weren’t in a rush…” She sounds worried.

“I’m not, kitten,” he says propping himself up to look at her. “It doesn’t mean I’m not excited by the idea, though.”

“You’re sure about that?” She’s looking for reassurance. She wants him to be happy.

“Yup. When it happens it happens. Doesn’t mean I’m not going to enjoy the process while we wait,” he says playfully. She smiles. 

“You do make it very enjoyable,” she purrs and then kisses him. 

“I’m not the one who puts on one hell of a show.”

“I enjoy watching your reactions,” she admits. “It’s a huge turn on.”

“Is it?” he asks surprised by this and loving it. 

“Absolutely,” she tells him. She takes his hand and runs it from her stomach to between her legs. Her sexual appetites are nothing short of impressive to say the least. He rolls on top of her and spreads her legs with his own before thrusting back into her soaked heat. Practice makes perfect after all. 


	144. Mission Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut

Chase and Bucky wake up to the sound of Bucky’s phone blowing up. He’s pressed against her ass, his cock rubbing against her as he moves to get the phone. 

“Bucky,” she moans softly. He cups her breasts and rubs his cock a little harder against her. 

“I’ll be down in ten. Let me get showered,” Bucky says and then hangs up. “Mission. I’ve got to go, kitten,” he mumbles as he kisses her neck. She runs his hand down to her heat and  that’s all the encouragement he needs to postpone his departure. He lifts her leg so he can get to her from behind. He sinks into her, filling her aching core and pumping fast and hard. He flicks her clit and then rubs quickly driving her to her climax in a hurry. He’s already tensing behind her, she can hear that low growl coming from him. One final hard thrust into her, he squeezes her clit and she’s screaming his name as she comes. Her legs are shaking and she can feel him giggling behind her.

“Asshole.”

“I love you to, kitten. I have to leave,” he says getting up quickly. 

“Be careful, baby. Please,” she says sitting up and pulling the covers around her body.

“I will. Find us some decent furniture while I’m gone,” he says heading to the bathroom. Chase sits on the bed and shakes her head. He’s already in the shower, she can hear the water running. He’s out in less than five and back in the bedroom. Seeing him stark naked with his hair pushed back has her wanting him all over again, but he’s in a rush, pulling clothes on as quickly as possible. He crawls across the bed to her and kisses her lovingly. 

“I’ll be home as soon as I can, kitten. Be good. Don’t flirt with anyone else, okay?”

“You’ve got nothing to worry about, baby. Nobody can compete with you.”

He beams, kisses her again and then runs out of the apartment. She sits on the bed and sulks. Bucky’s pension for getting himself hurt has her worried. Hopefully with him feeling loved now he’ll take fewer stupid risks. Hopefully. 

She gets up and gets showered and then goes to work on the resume for Tony. May as well get that started so she can get some income and pay Tony back the money he’s paying her. This makes her laugh as she types up her details. 


	145. Bucky and Steve

“What the hell is going on?” Bucky asks when he sees Steve at the elevators. 

“No idea. Natasha is already gone with Clint. This won’t be a short and sweet one, unfortunately.”

“Fuck,” Bucky growls. This isn’t what he wanted to hear. He wanted to just go and get back to Chase. He’s already missing being next to her, being in her arms, the feel of her skin, her smile…

“Buck.”

“Steve.”

“Wake up, man. She’ll be here when we get back.”

“I know, I know,” Bucky grumbles as they step off the elevator. Sam is waiting for them. Rhodey has a QuinJet prepped and ready to go and they climb aboard. 

Sam already has the mission specs and is going over them in detail with Steve. Bucky listens. Sam’s good at this part, at least. He takes the missions seriously. And much to Bucky’s dismay, Sam confirms this isn’t a short trip. They’re looking at a week at least. A week away from his girl who he’s still getting to know. A week away from her smile and laugh and her hot body…

“Jesus Christ,” he groans. 

“Buck.”

Bucky looks at Steve and then cracks his neck. 

“I need some advice.”

“On what? How to survive without getting laid for more than eight hours?” Steve jokes. Bucky laughs. 

“Don’t hate, kid.”

“We can’t put you in the field, Buck. They’ll spot the glow on you a mile away.”

“You’re an asshole.”

“I’m not the one who looks like a fucking lightbulb,” Steve laughs. 

“All hate. This is why I named the goat after you.”

“You told her it’s because I lied on my entrance forms.”

“That, too.”

“Shithead,” Steve says and laughs a little more. “What do you need?”

“I want to get Tony’s blessing to marry Chase.”

“You want to do this properly. I get it. I’ll do what I can, Buck.”


	146. Chase Gives Tony The Mock Resume

“This looks good, kiddo. You’ve got some pretty good experience,” Tony muses looking over the mock resume Chase just presented him. 

“Glad you approve, big brother.”

Tony grins merrily. 

“I’m going to get you set up so you can work from the apartment if you want.”

“Actually...that would be ideal. I hate people,” Chase laughs. Tony nods knowingly. 

“Yeah, but not all of them are bad,” he says looking over at Pepper. 

“How is James?” Pepper asks.

“Away,” she replies sullenly. Tony looks hurt.

“You really like him, don’t you?”

“Yeah, it goes a little beyond liking at this point, Tony.”

“You’re happy, that’s all I care about, Chase. If he’s treating you well and this is what you want...ugh…”

“Not asking you to love him, Tony, just asking you to accept what’s happening,” Chase says softly. Tony sticks out his tongue.

“Put that away,” Pepper chides.

“She’ll have you use it later,” Chase whispers. Tony barks out a laugh and Pepper shoots them both a scathing look.

“She’s going to kill us both and it’’ll be your fault,” Tony says still grinning. 

“Pfft. If she kills you it’s because you made her wear one of those goddamn suits.”

Now Pepper is laughing. 


	147. It's Been Three Weeks

 

It’s been almost three weeks since Bucky left. Chase is lonely and miserable. Tonight is the night of the party and he’s not going to be here to go with her and that upsets her even more. She’s been on a crying jag for almost a week now because she misses him, she hasn’t heard from him and she wants to know if he’s okay and when he’s coming home. 

She pulls out the dress and looks at it. He really liked this one. She remembers how his eyes lit up when he saw it on the screen. He was so tired that night and he’d been so miserable up to that point. He’d done a complete turn around for her by the end of the night and in doing so he’d made it damn clear that she needed love just as much as he did. And he wanted to step up to the plate for that. She adores him. She loves him so very, very much and now she’s sobbing hysterically again because he’s not here and she wishes he was and goddammit he just needs to come home so she can hold him.

She wipes her eyes and sits on the edge of the bed. With the crying spells comes off the wall bouts of nausea and then she’s exhausted. She calms down and lays back on the bed. She snags Bucky’s pillow and curls up around it. She can smell the faint scent of his body wash on it and it helps calm her down a little. She wishes he was here and she could hold him or curl up against his chest and run her fingers over his skin. 

She grabs her phone and checks to see if he’s been able to call. Nothing comes up. Another round of nausea hits her and this time she’s got to run to the bathroom because breakfast is its way back up. 

She comes out of the bathroom several minutes later feeling wiped out. She decides her best bet is to go to medical. She doesn’t want to be sick when Bucky gets home.


	148. Home At Last

“I need a tux. That thing is tonight, Steve.”

“I have one you can borrow. I’m not going, Natasha’s hurt so you can use that. Make sure you clean yourself up a little.”

“Plan on it,” Bucky says getting his phone out. Steve nods giving him the okay to finally call Chase. 

“Hey, kitten. Are you okay? I’m on my way home -“

“BUCKY! I miss you, baby! Are you okay? Are you hurt? How long till you get home?”

Bucky’s all smiles at the rapid fire questions. She’s excited to hear his voice and he’s fucking ecstatic about that. He sees Steve grinning. 

“I’m alright, Chase. Tired, but I’m alright. I’ll be better when I see you. I won’t be home till late, though, okay?”

Now Steve is looking at him perplexed. Bucky puts his finger to his lips to keep him quiet.

“How late? I can wait -“

“You promised Tony you’d go to that stupid thing tonight. Keep your word, Chase. I’ll be home before it’s over, I promise.”

“Bucky,” she protests.

“Chase, promise me you’ll go. You told Tony and Pepper you would and you bought that knockout looking dress. I want to see you in it.”

There’s silence. That’s when he hears her crying.

“Kitten, what’s wrong?” He asks worriedly.

“I miss you, baby. I was worried something happened. I just want to see you.”

“I’ll be home soon. I’m on my way now. Go to the party, get out of the apartment and humor Tony for me, please? Will you do that for me? I’ll be home before it’s over, I promise you, kitten.”

“Okay. I can do that,” she agrees reluctantly. 

“I love you, kitten. I’ll be home soon,” he promises. 

“I love you, too, baby. I’m going to smother you in kisses when you get here. Be prepared.”

He laughs.

“I’m looking forward to it. See you in a while, Chase.”

She hangs up and Bucky puts the phone away.

“Is she okay?” Steve asks.

“She’s upset. I think she missed me.”

“You don’t say,” Steve jests. Bucky flips him off. 

“Save that for her,” Steve laughs. 

“About this thing with Tony…”

“Shit, I forgot about that. Wear the tux. I’ll make a brief visit in the dress greens and see if I can talk to him or at least Pepper.”

“I owe you, Steve.”

“Nope. I got what I wanted seeing you come out of that goddamn pit you dug yourself. Stay out of that pit and stay happy and keep that dame of yours happy.”

Bucky nods and runs his hand over his beard. That’s the first thing to go when he gets home. 

The jet lands several hours later. Bucky wakes up to Steve shaking him roughly.

“Rise and shine, shaggy.”

“Piss off.”

“We’re home. Come up with me and I’ll give you the tux.”

“What time is it?”

“Just after eight. What’s your plan?”

“Get cleaned up, get dressed and go find her and surprise her,” he says pulling out a small box from his pocket. 

“Let me see it again,” Steve says. Bucky opens the lid and the diamond twinkles in the dim light. 

“That was some dumb luck you found that old man in that jewelry store there, Buck.”

“Dumb luck nothing. You know how many people I talked to just to find this guy?” 

“Seriously?”

“Soon as I found out where we were going I was looking for places that might have something….vintage I guess is what this is now. Jesus Christ, Steve. We’re vintage.”

Steve laughs. 

“Better than the other things we get called.”

This makes Bucky snort and then laugh. 

“Very true,” he says putting the ring away. 

“Are you asking her tonight?” Steve asks as they head to the apartments. 

“Depends on how the thing with Tony goes. I want to at least make him aware of my intentions. I’m hoping he doesn’t flip shit, but…”

“He loves her, Buck. That’s his sister. He’s still dealing with what happened - even though you had no control over that,” Steve adds hastily. Bucky just nods his head. Steve opens the door to his place and steps inside with Bucky.

“Hey, boys,” Natasha says getting up from his couch gingerly. “I figured you’d stop here first, Steve. Get your shit and lets go back to my place.”

“Give me a second. I’m getting him a tux and I’ve got to go see Tony.”

“You got the ring?” Natasha asks, a super huge smile on her face. 

“I did,” he says pulling out the little box and showing her.

“Make sure you clean yourself up, Buck,” she tells him as she closes the lid and the closes his hand over the box. “Make it memorable for her.”

“Plan on it and for gods sake I am going to shave,” he grumbles. 

Steve comes back with the tux still encased in the dry cleaner plastic. 

“Don’t keep her waiting too long,” Steve says and then he pulls Bucky into a hard embrace. “Good luck, man.”

“Thanks, Steve,” Bucky says quietly. 

“I’ll see you down there.”

Bucky nods to Natasha and Steve and then leaves to go get ready.


	149. Tony Bestows His Blessing

 

Bucky finishes getting dressed, making sure he looks spot on for Chase. He’s pulled his hair back into a tight ponytail, he’s clean shaven, showered and in Steve’s tux. He puts his gloves on and reaches into the jacket pocket for the little box. It’s still there. He’s going to ask Chase to marry him regardless of whether or not Tony gives him his blessing, but he’s hoping Tony is okay with this. Bucky loves Chase with all his heart and soul and he hopes Tony will see that. 

He heads to the elevators and up to the penthouse. The place is wall to wall with people. He sees Steve talking to Pepper. Steve nods and Bucky sees Pepper give him a grand smile. She must know already. He scans the room for Chase but he doesn’t see her right away. 

“James.”

Bucky sees Pepper standing next to him, still smiling grandly. 

“Miss Potts.”

“Pepper. Just call me Pepper. She’s with Tony by the bar. I’m going to take Tony for a little walk and talk to him. She’s going to be very happy to see you. Good luck, James,” she says and then heads to the bar. Bucky watches her go and soon sees Tony with Chase. She looks like a million bucks, that dress hugs her perfectly. He sees Pepper lure Tony away and he makes his way over to Chase.

“Beautiful dames like you shouldn’t be without a man on their arm.”

Chase turns around and flings herself into his arms. 

“You shit,” she mumbles into his ear. 

“I missed you, too, kitten,” he whispers holding her tightly. “You look fucking amazing.”

“Fucking aside, thank you,” she jokes. “You look pretty goddamn good yourself, handsome,” she says running her fingers along his jaw. He takes her hand and kisses her fingers. She kisses him on the lips and then hugs him tightly. She’s shaking a little.

“Are you cold, kitten?” He asks rubbing her arms. 

“No. Just...hi, Steve.”

“Hi, Chase. Can I borrow your man for a moment?”

“I suppose. Don’t be long, I may have to find someone else to go home with,” she teases. Bucky is not amused.

“Don’t you dare. I’ll be back in a moment. Promise me you won’t run off with some random guy.”

“I won’t, baby,” she says with a big smile. “None of them are as good looking as you.” 

He grins and steps away with Steve. 

“Tony is waiting on you.”

Bucky reaches into his pocket and takes a deep breath.

“Thanks, kid.”

“Pepper prepared him. He’s not overly happy, but he’s not threatening to kill you either.”

“That’s good, right?”

“Yeah,” Steve laughs. “That’s good. Want me to come with you?”

“No. I need to do this on my own. I’m going to marry her regardless, but…”

“You’re a good man, Buck. Good luck.”

Bucky nods and heads in the direction Steve is pointing to find Tony. He steps into the little alcove where Tony and Pepper are. Pepper is all smiles. Tony looks like someone pissed in his drink.

“Barnes,” Tony says tersely. 

“Stark,” Bucky says softly. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the ring box. “I want to ask Chase to marry me. I know how you feel about me...I love her, though, with all my heart. I want your blessing, Stark. I want to know you’ll be there for her - for us - with this.” Bucky’s heart is racing wildly in his chest and he feels like he’s going to be sick, but he’s going to push through this. 

Tony nods his head and downs the last of his drink. Pepper nudges him to get him to respond.

“You know why I don’t want to approve of this,” Tony states coldly.

“Tony, think about Chase,” Pepper says softly. Tony sighs and looks at Bucky evenly.

“You love her?”

“I worship her, Stark. I’ll die for her.”

Tony nods his head again.

“She loves you, Barnes. I know she does. She’s happy with you. Make sure she stays that way. I’ll be walking her down the aisle. No bullshit with eloping or some Vegas wedding, Do you understand me?”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“I’m holding you to that, Barnes. You have my blessing.”


	150. The Family Is Expanding

Chase rubs her arms and waits for the bartender to fill a glass with ginger ale for her. Seeing Bucky only briefly and then having him vanish again with Steve upset her which brought the stupid nausea up another level. 

“Chase,” Pepper says gently. Chase feels Pepper’s hand on her shoulder. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m alright,” she lies. The bartender hands her the glass of ginger ale and she sips it slowly. 

“He’s on his way over now,” Pepper says nodding her head towards Bucky who’s smiling brilliantly and headed right for them. “I’ll let Tony know you aren’t feeling well. Go get some rest.”

Chase smiles tiredly.

“Take care of her, James,” Pepper says and then walks away. Bucky cocks his head and looks worried.

“Kitten, what’s going on?”

“I’m over this party,” she says playfully. “Did you get whatever it was you needed to run off for taken care of?”

“I did. You’re still shaking,” he says taking off his jacket and putting it over her shoulders. “Come on, beautiful, let’s go home.”

He takes her arm and puts her glass on the bar, then walks with her out of the penthouse, keeping his eyes on her. She can tell he’s extremely worried about her. She’s struggling to keep the ginger ale down right now. Some of it’s nerves, the rest…

The elevator doors open, they step inside and he pulls her into his arms and holds her. He smells amazing. She rests her head on his shoulder and tries to get the nausea under control. 

“Chase.”

“Hmm.”

“How long have you been sick?”

She closes her eyes and ignores the question. The elevator isn’t the time for this. The bathroom may end up being the destination point, though. 

He rubs her back and thankfully doesn’t press the issue. The elevator doors open again and they head to their apartment. 

Bucky closes the door gently and pulls her back into his arms. Chase is literally seconds from throwing up.

“Chase,” he says tilting his head to the side. He lifts her chin and she backs up.

“Bucky -” she bolts to the bathroom.

“Chase!” he yells running after her. She gets to the bathroom and heaves up the ginger ale. Bucky is behind her, flushing the toilet, then sitting on the floor behind her and pulling her down into his lap to hold her. She bursts into tears. 

“No, no, shhh…” he whispers as he cradles her. “It’s okay, kitten.”

She leans against him and closes her eyes. The nausea finally lets up. 

“I’m sorry,” she says tiredly.

“For what? You’re sick.”

“Bucky…”

“It’s alright, kitten. If I had known you didn’t feel good I wouldn’t have made you promise to go to the party tonight. I’m sorry,” he says laying his head on hers. She can hear the hurt in his voice. She sits up slowly and sighs. She looks over her shoulder and smiles. 

“You shaved.”

“Yeah,” he says rubbing his chin and grinning a little. “You like it?”

“I do. I like the beard. I like the stubble.”

“So…?” 

“I love your face,” she says with a big smile. He’s really grinning now. 

“You feeling a little better, kitten?” The concern in back in his voice. 

“Yes and no. I want off this floor. My feet hurt from these shoes and I’m cold.”

He gets up first and then helps her up and back into his arms. He runs his fingers over her cheek. She can see he’s alarmed at her issue. She forces a smile. 

“You’re shaking again, Chase. What’s going on, kitten? How long have you been sick?”

“I’m not sick, Bucky.”

“No?” he asks disbelievingly. “Food poisoning? It’s that goddamn deli food, isn’t it?”

This makes her laugh a little. 

“No, baby. Not the deli food, please don’t talk about food,” she says as her stomach churns. She puts her hand on her belly and takes a few deep breaths.

“Chase, what’s going on?” She can hear how scared and concerned he is. She’s scared, too. She’s scared he’s going to run and she’s going to lose him and…

“No, no, no,” he says guiding her back to the toilet just in time for her to throw up again. He flushes the toilet again, keeping one arm around her and then he guides her to lean against the sink counter. He cups her face and forces her to look him in the eyes.

“I’m calling Bruce. I don’t know what’s going on, but you’ve got me scared shitless -”

“He already knows, Bucky. I saw him today.”

“What did he say?”

She takes his hands and looks at them. She bites her lip, fresh tears spilling from her eyes. 

“Chase?”

She puts his hands on her belly.

“Our baby is kicking my ass.”

Bucky blinks a few times, looks at the placement of his hands on her belly, then to her, then back to his hands. His brow is furrowed like he doesn’t understand. 

“B-baby?” he stammers. Chase nods her head yes, she’s scared to say anything.

He looks at her belly and when he looks up again his eyes are bright and shining with tears and he’s got that huge, loving grin on his face. 

“We’re having a baby!” he yells. She jumps and bursts into tears. 

“Oh, no! Kitten, no, don’t cry,” he pleads. “This is great,” he tells her as he holds her and rocks her gently. “We’re having a baby!” He’s giddy. He lets her go and holds her face in his hands. “Baby Bucky?”

“It’s too soon to tell. For now Bruce is calling it Baby Barnes.”

“Baby Barnes,” he repeats in awe. He’s all but jumping up and down and this makes Chase feel one hundred percent better. 

“Baby Barnes,” she says confirming this. “For now. Bruce says we may now as soon as sixteen weeks if we’re having a boy or a girl.”

“A boy or a girl,” he says breathlessly. He smiles and then laughs merrily. “We’re having a baby!!”


	151. Steve Finds Out

Bucky is a bundle of giddy, happy, excited nerves right now. Chase just told him they are expecting their first child and he’s on top of the goddamn world right now. 

“I have something I want to ask you, Chase. I was going to ask you tonight regardless, but now with what you’ve given me...this will make it even more special,” he says. He gets the tux jacket and fishes out the ring box. Chase’s eyes get huge and she puts her hand over her mouth.

“Chase,” Bucky begins, dropping to one knee in front of her, “will you marry me?”

She starts crying again.

“Yes!”

He gets up, all smiles, and puts the ring delicately on her finger. It looks flawless on her. She throws her arms around him and cries into his shoulder. He holds her and rubs her back. The future Mrs. Barnes and their baby. 

“Proposing in the bathroom wasn’t what I had in mind, kitten. I wanted to do something grand for you, but -”

“No, baby, it’s fine. It’s...it’s perfect,” she says letting him go and looking at the ring. She wipes her eyes and then her hand goes to her stomach. 

“Easy, kitten, easy,” he says rubbing her arms, “deep breaths.”

She takes a deep breath and the color comes back to her face slowly. He caresses her cheek and smiles. 

“Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, kitten. We’re okay, right? Do you want something to drink?”

“I just want to get showered and put on something comfortable. Want to join me? I miss seeing you naked,” she says trying to joke. Bucky smiles warmly. She’s wiped out and getting her situated is what he wants to do right now.

“Absolutely,” he says unbuttoning his shirt. She runs her hands over his chest once its exposed. The ring catches her attention and her smile gets bigger. 

“You like that?” he asks. He’d hoped and prayed she’d be pleased with the ring.

“I love it, Bucky. It’s gorgeous. You didn’t have to -”

“I did. I wanted to. I wanted this to be official. I even got Tony’s blessing.”

Chase’s jaw drops.

“You...you asked him for his permission to marry me?”

“I did. For you, kitten. I wanted to make this as perfect and as right as I can.”

“Oh, baby...I don’t know what to say.” He sees fresh tears in her eyes. 

“You already said what I needed to hear, Chase. We’re having a baby,” he says unable to hide his joy. 

“We are. If I can keep something down for longer than an hour,” she groans rubbing her belly. He puts his hands over hers on her belly and smiles.

“I’ll call Bruce in the morning. There’s got to be something we can do to help with that. Let’s get in the shower,” he says kissing her temple.

He turns on the water and lets it warm up as she finishes stripping from her clothes. He does the same and then gets into the shower with her. He runs her hand over her belly. There’s no noticeable baby bump yet, but he’s sure that’ll come soon. He’s so goddamn happy right now he can’t keep his thoughts straight.

They finish in the shower, and he gets her clothes from the bedroom while she sits on the toilet trying to wait out the latest wave of nausea. 

“Here, kitten,” he says helping her get dressed. He moves slow because she’s still looking a little green. 

“I saw something about ginger gummies for the nausea when I was looking online for something to help with this. They’re all natural and supposedly help.”

“Where do I get them?”

“Please don’t go out,” she begs, taking his hands. “Please. You just got home.”

“Alright, kitten, I won’t go anywhere,” he says softly. She settles down and sighs. 

“I missed you, Bucky. This has been the stupidly longest three weeks of my goddamn life and I know there will be other times you get called away for weeks on end, but please, for right now, just stay here with me.”

“I will, Chase. I will. It’s okay, kitten, I get it. I missed you, too. More than you know.”

“I’m emotional.”

“Yup. It’s good, though. I like hearing that I’ve been missed.”

She smiles, which is what he wanted. It’s true, though. He needs to hear her vocalize her feelings for him. He needs that reassurance even though he knows she loves him dearly.

They finish getting dressed and head to the living room. 

“Can I tell Steve?” he asks. He’s been dying to ask her if he can, wanting so desperately to share his happiness with Steve. 

“I’m surprised you haven’t called him yet, to be honest,” she says jokingly. 

“Yeah, but I wanted to make sure you were comfortable with that first.”

“The baby isn’t just mine, Bucky.”

“No, no he’s not. Or she. The baby is ours,” he says putting his arms around her and kissing her head. 

“Call him,” she says with a laugh. Bucky grins and gets his phone. He calls Steve and puts the call on speaker phone.

“I’m trying to sleep.”

“Shut up, punk. I have news.”

“Why am I on speaker phone?”

“Because.”

“You’re a shithead. What news? Did she say yes?”

“She did,” Chase answers. 

“Congrats!” Steve yells happily. They can hear Natasha in the background yelling congratulations as well.

“That’s not the only news, though,” Bucky says.

“Okay….”

“Can you run to the store for me, kid? She wants ginger gummies.”

There’s silence.

“Ginger gummies? What the fuck are ginger gummies?” Steve asks. 

“She’s pregnant!” Natasha yells. 

“WHAT?” Steve yells. Both Bucky and Chase are laughing.

“You’re going to be an uncle, kid.”

“Holy shit! Holy...are you serious? She’s… Chase are you pregnant? You’re having a baby?” Steve demands.

“I just found out today, Steve.”

“Holy shit! What does she need? Gummies?? I’ll get them. Stay with her. Where are they? I’ll go now,” Steve says. They can hear him rushing around the room. Natasha is laughing at him. 

“Where did you see them at, kitten?”

“That grocery, the one called Martika’s. It’s like four blocks from here -”

“Stay with her. What else does she need? I’m going to be an uncle,” Steve yammers. Bucky looks at Chase and smiles. Today has been the best goddamn day of his life so far.


	152. Chase Tells Tony

Chase and Bucky are laying in bed after Bucky finally convinced Steve Chase was alright, they both thanked him profusely for going ape shit getting anything labeled ginger at the store. Steve had knelt down in front of Chase and tilted his head this way and that way and then asked if he could put his hand on her belly. 

“He’s going to be overly protective of you now,” Bucky says, putting his hand on Chase’s belly. He knows logically it’s too soon to feel any movement, but he can’t help himself. 

“So will Tony. I need to call him,” she says reaching for her phone. Bucky kisses her neck and holds her while she calls Tony. He can hear the phone ringing, she’s got it on speaker.

“Why are you up? I thought you were sick. Pepper said you were sick.”

“I’m alright for the moment. What are you doing tomorrow?”

“Nothing much. What’s going on? Did he do something you want to tell me about?”

Bucky bites his tongue in an attempt to not laugh at Tony’s vague attempts to get Chase to spill the beans.

“Yeah, but do you really want to do this over the phone?” She asks playfully.

There’s silence from Tony. They can hear Pepper urging him to get more information.

“Yes,” he says finally.

“Bucky asked me to marry him.”

Bucky barely holds back the laugh and buries his face in the pillow next to Chase. 

“You’re a shit, you know that, right?” Tony asks. Now they can hear Pepper giggling. 

“It’s genetic.”

“Keep it up, smartass.”

“That’s not the only thing I wanted to tell you,” Chase continues. They can hear Pepper trying to take the phone from Tony now. 

“Stop. I’ll ask her,” he whispers. They can hear him laughing at Pepper. 

“Just tell him,” Bucky whispers. He kisses her cheek and rubs her belly. 

“I’m pregnant.”

“Shut up.”

“Tony!” Pepper scolds. “Give me the phone.”

Chase is laughing, Bucky can hear Pepper taking the phone by force from Tony now. 

“Chase,” Pepper says gently.

“Pepp.”

“Are you pregnant? Is that what you told Tony?”

“I am.”

“Oh my god! That’s great! When did you find out? How far along are you? You can’t be very far...oh my god!” Pepper squeals in delight. 

“Give me the phone. She’s my sister,” Tony fusses. Now Bucky’s laughing with Chase. “You’re pregnant?”

“I just told you that, Tony,” Chase laughs. 

“To who?”

“TONY!” Pepper yells. 

“Tony,” Chase warns.

“I know. Are you sure? You had Bruce check you out?”

“He did. He’s the one who told me, Tony. I thought I had the goddamn flu. Bucky thought I had food poisoning until I told him.”

“Aww, kiddo,” Tony says sounding completely mellow now, “congrats. I take it he proposed?”

“He did.”

“You make sure you get a proper wedding. I’ll pay for it -“

“I’ll pay for it,” Bucky cuts in.

“Stop it both of you,” Chase says sternly. “We’ll figure something out.”

“Come have breakfast with us in the morning, Chase,” Pepper says into the phone. Chase and Bucky can hear more shuffling and then Tony chuckling and Pepper chastising him. 

“I can do that, Pepp. I can’t promise I’ll be able to eat -“

“I’m taking her to medical first thing to see about getting her stomach settled,” Bucky says so that Tony and Pepper can hear him. 

“Good! You take care of her, James,” Tony orders. “I’ll see you around nine, kiddo?”

“Nine works,” Chase agrees. “Goodnight you two.”

Chase puts the phone up and curls up against Bucky. He puts his arms around her and holds her while she drifts to sleep. He’s on top of the world right now. He falls asleep with a smile on his face. 


	153. Pepper Sort Of Knew

Tony hangs up the phone and looks at Pepper.

“You knew. Didn’t you?”

She smiles. 

“Maybe.”

“Maybe?” Tony repeats disbelievingly.

“I had an idea she was when I saw her, Tony. She’s got a little bit of that pregnant glow to her, the fact that she was uncomfortable and kept rubbing her belly kind of gave her away,” Pepper teases. 

“That apartment is too small for them,” Tony says to himself. “Who do we talk to about renovations?” He asks Pepper. 

“What are you thinking?”

“Taking the last three apartments at the end of the hall where it’s vacant and making them one big unit for her and the baby.”

“He may want to get them a place of their own, Tony…”

“He may and that’s his prerogative as the father, but it’s my prerogative as her brother and the baby’s uncle to make sure they have a place to go when he’s away where they will be safe. Same as with you.”

Tony sees Pepper try to come up with a reason to contest this, but she can’t. Instead she smiles approvingly. 

“I’ll get in touch with some people tomorrow. Three of the apartments? Which end of the hall? Not the one where they are now -“

“No, no. I don’t want her around anything like that while she’s got baby bumpings.”

“Baby bumpings,” Pepper repeats with a smirk.  “So the other end. I’ll have to have Steve and Bucky move closer to her end of the hall.”

“Steve can stay with Natasha,” Tony says with a shrug. “She’ll love that.”

“She’s very fond of him. You know that.”

“Another one with poor taste.”

“Is there anyone in here you approve of?” Pepper asks with a laugh.

“Besides myself?”

“Yes, besides you.”

“Just you and Chase,” he says and then kisses her. 


	154. Heartbeats

Chase is watching Bucky all but bounce off the walls of their apartment. Today is the day they get to hear the baby’s heartbeat and you’d think the man just won the goddamn lottery. She made Steve come over to try and settle Bucky down, but Steve’s egging him on instead.

“Can you imagine? I heard their little heart beats are really fast,” Steve says. Bucky’s eyes get even bigger. 

“Steven Grant, that’s enough,” Chase warns. 

“Their little hearts beat really fast?” Bucky asks looking for confirmation of this from Chase. 

“They do,” Chase answers with a small laugh. “Come on. Tony and Pepper are supposed to meet us there, too,” Chase says reaching for Bucky’s hand. He takes it and pulls her into his arms.

“I love you, kitten. I’ll never be able to tell you or show you how much,” he says softly as he holds her. Chase feels the tears well up in her eyes. 

“I love you, too, baby,” she whispers. He cups her face in his hands and smiles. 

The three of them head to medical together and meet Tony and Pepper with Bruce.

“I don’t know if the room is big enough for all of us,” Bruce remarks with a chuckle. “Hop up there and lift your shirt. Make room for the ultrasound tech, please.”

Chase hops up on the table and the others squish together to make room for the tech. 

“This will feel a little cold, okay?” The tech says gently. She squeezes the stuff onto Chase’s belly and Chase flinches. Bucky is at her side immediately, holding her hand and running his fingers through her hair with his other hand. 

Chase can see Tony is almost as wound up as Bucky is. The tech moves the wand around her belly and the sound of heartbeats can be heard. Chase’s eyes get huge.

“Wait…” she says trying to sit up. 

“A-are there two?” Bucky stammers. Bruce is smiling grandly. 

“There’s two? There’s two?” Tony asks astounded.

“There are two,” the tech confirms. “You appear to be having twins!”

Bucky’s knees buckle and Steve has to catch him. Chase feels lightheaded. Pepper is now with Chase while Steve holds up Bucky who’s smiling like he’s drugged and Tony is hugging Bruce like he had something to do with this. 

“Twins…” Bucky breathes. 

“There’s definitely two?” Chase asks knowing damn well she can hear both heartbeats. 

“There’s two, kitten. We’re having twins,” Bucky laughs and then breaks free from Steve to kiss her. 


	155. Forever Isn't Long Enough For Me To Love You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut and Fluff

Bucky sits with Chase in their living room with Steve, Pepper, Natasha and Tony all chattering at once. Chase is rubbing her belly looking at the floor. 

“Hey,” he whispers as he runs his fingers through her hair, “what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she says with a grand smile. “I’m just thinking about how you’ll get your Baby Bucky after all. And maybe an Anthony Grant to boot.”

“You’re so sure they’re boys,” he laughs. She gives him a knowing smile.

“Call it a hunch. We’re hungry.”

“What do you want, kiddo? Name it and I’ll have it brought over,” Tony offers. 

“Jesus Christ, Tony, don’t tempt me.”

“Last night she wanted a turkey sandwich with guacamole and fried pickles on it,” Bucky teases. Pepper and Natasha laugh at the horrified looks on Steve and Tony’s faces. 

“And you went out and got it for me.”

“You and the kids were hungry,” he says with a nonchalant shrug. 

“The renovations are almost done,” Tony says changing the subject. “You and Pepper will be picking out furnishings for the new place - and don’t give me any crap, Chase. This is your safe place for you and the babies. Barnes has agreed this is a sound idea for the times he’s away.”

“He’s right,” Bucky says agreeing whole heartedly. 

“This is the safest place for you and the boys, Chase,” Steve concurs. “We all want you to be safe.”

“I’m not arguing?” Chase asks looking confused. 

“She’s not arguing,” Pepper says with a smirk, “so you three can stop ganging up on her.”

“We aren’t,” Tony protests. 

“You are,” Chase says flatly. Tony puckers his lips and sighs. 

“We just want you to be safe, kitten,” Bucky says softly. He takes her hand and laces their fingers together. That is all he wants - to know that she’s safe and that their kids are safe. Well, that and to wake up every morning with her in his arms and come home to her kisses and hugs, and sinking balls deep into her sweet heat while she moans his name…

“Get your head out of my pants,” she whispers softly in his ear. The proximity of her lips to his ear has his balls and cock in a frenzy instantly. 

“It’s not your pants I want to be in,” he whispers back in a voice more like a low growl than a whisper. He feels her teeth graze his ear lobe and he’s damn close to just carrying her to the bedroom so he can bury his face into various parts of her body. His balls are aching now and he sees that mischievous grin on her lips. 

“When do you want to play doll house, Pepper?” Chase asks playfully. 

“Tomorrow after breakfast works for me.”

“Alright. I’m going to go take a nap until the food arrives. Too much excitement for the day,” Chase says getting up. Bucky knows she’s full of shit. He’s willing to bet that her panties are soaked and that  she’s just as hot and bothered as he is right now. 

Tony and Pepper hug her briefly, then Steve kisses her cheek and they all exit. 

“How wet are you, kitten?” Bucky purrs pulling her into his arms and running his fingers between her legs. He can feel the immense heat coming off of her. He scoops her up in his arms and carries her to their bedroom while she kisses his neck and jaw and that spot where his jaw hinges making his balls throb that much more. 

He places her on the bed and immediately goes to work on getting the yoga pants off. He was right, her panties are soaked. He runs his fingers up along her thighs making her moan, her hands immediately going between her legs to give herself some relief. 

“You’re cheating,” he teases as he pulls her hands from her heat. He kisses her fingers then dips his index and middle fingers into her. She arches up and grabs her tits, moaning his name as she does. He toys with her a little bit until he’s about to burst himself. He strips quickly and then runs his cock along her slick heat before slipping into her and pushing into her slowly till he’s got no place else to go. She bucks and grinds as he lays himself on top of her, propping his weight on his arms. He works her slowly, relishing the feel of her on him, the sound of his name as it tumbles from her lips. He presses his lips to hers, feels her fingers in his hair as she snakes her tongue into his mouth. His abs clench as she tightens around him and he comes with one final thrust deep into her as she breaks their kiss, crying out his name. 

“You okay, kitten?” He always asks her this now, the fear that he may get too rough or may hurt her somehow concerns him. 

“Always, baby,” she says with a satisfied smile. Her eyes darken suddenly and she bites her lip.

“No,” he says softly as he runs his finger over her lower lip to get her to stop. “What’s wrong?”

“Do you still want to get married?”

“Of course I do. I want you to have my last name, kitten. I want to be the lucky son of a bitch who gets to call you his wife.”

She smiles warily. 

“I don’t want a big, lavish wedding, Bucky. I just want something small and intimate,” she says as she rubs her belly. 

“Anything you want, Chase. When, where, how...whatever your heart desires.”

“What do you want, Bucky? Seriously….I kind of feel like...I don’t know…” she trails off and sits up, pulling her knees to her chest. 

“Feel like what, Chase?” He asks sitting up quickly. 

“Like I’m an afterthought now that the babies are baking.”

“What?!” She flinches at his tone, but he can’t help it. He’s shocked she would feel this way. He loves her more than life. He sees the tears and she starts to slide off the bed and away from him. She’s hyper emotional with the pregnancy, Bruce had warned him about this and he’s been reading all he can about what she’s going through to try and help her all he can. This...he could not have anticipated. 

“Nope. Come here,” he says reaching for her arm. He pulls her back across the bed gently and into his arms. She’s crying. He feels like shit. 

“Shhh...I didn’t mean to snap, kitten. I just don’t understand why you would think that. I love you. I can’t tell you how much I love you. You are everything to me, Chase. My heart, my soul...nothing will change that. The babies only make things better. I’m so goddamn happy and so fucking smitten with you,” he says as he cradles her. He’s in tears now, too. He loves this woman. 

“I don’t want to lose you,” she weeps. “I don’t want to be thrown away again.”

“Look at me,” he says letting her go and holding her face up so she has to look him in the eyes. “I will  _ never _ do that. You aren’t going to lose me, Chase. I am not going to throw you away. I’m not stupid. I know how goddamn lucky I am. No one takes care of me, loves me, humors me, the way you do. No one does any of the things you do. I don’t know that I’d want them to, to be honest,” he says trying to joke with her. He sees that hint of a smile on her lips.

“Sure you don’t want Steve to be your pretty girl?”

“You’re a goddamn smartass,” he says with a small laugh. She’s smiling more now. “No. I do not want Steve. Or the fucking goat,” he adds. She laughs. Rogers served one purpose in life and that was to make her laugh every time he gets mentioned. 

She wipes her eyes and looks down. He lifts her chin and kisses her softly. 

“I love you, kitten. You know that, right?”

“I do.”

“Save that for our wedding day,” he jokes.

”You’re a dick,” she laughs. 

“Pretty good one from the way you moan and yell my name.”

”I’m going to have a houseful of testosterone filled shitheads,” she grumbles. This makes him laugh.

“Who will adore you forever,” he promises as he runs his fingers through her hair. 

“Forever is a long time, Bucky.”

“Not long enough with you as far as I’m concerned.”

She bursts into tears again and throws her arms around him. He pulls her closer, sits her in his lap and cradles her. 


	156. Side Effects Of The Super Soldier Serum

Chase sits on the edge of the bed trying to regulate her breathing. Pepper is sitting next to her breathing with her. 

“Are you sure these are Braxton Hicks?” Pepper asks again. 

“Better be,” Chase answers through clenched teeth.

“I want you to see Bruce. Bucky is out on a mission and -“

Chase bursts into tears. Bucky’s been gone for almost a month and she’s never been so lonely and miserable in her life.  Pepper puts her arm over Chase’s shoulders and rocks her. Chase hisses sharply as another contraction hits her.

“I’m calling Bruce,” Pepper says getting her phone. 

Chase can hear Bruce telling Pepper to bring her down there. 

“She won’t be able to walk, Bruce. The contractions are pretty constant.”

Chase can hear Bruce say he’s on his way up. She breathes with Pepper till Bruce and a nurse arrive.

“Come on, into the wheelchair you go,” Bruce says gently. He and Pepper help her move and another contraction hits just as she sits down.

“Breathe, Miss Stark,” the nurse says. Pepper is calling Tony now.

“Find James, Tony. Get him back here….”

Chase doesn’t hear the rest because a huge contraction just hit and now she’s feeling pressure like she should push.

“Bruce…” she growls, “something is wrong.”

“We’re going to get you and the boys situated, Chase. Breathe for me -“

“Oh god…”

“Don’t push, Chase,” Bruce states. She doesn’t know how he knew, but he did and she fights the urge to push.

“They’re pulling Bucky from the mission, Chase,” Pepper tells her. Chase is relieved to hear that, because she knows -   _ she knows  _ \- the boys are going to be coming into the world sooner as opposed to later. 

Bruce gets her into one of the rooms and they get her situated on the bed after making her strip and put on one of those damned gowns.

“You’re measuring a lot bigger than just thirty weeks, Chase. I’m going to have you give me a urine sample...I don’t think these are Braxton Hicks,” Bruce states. 

“It’s too soon, Bruce,” Chase says panicking. 

“Maybe. Maybe it’s a side effect of the serum he has.”

“Oh god, not this again,” Chase groans. She yells as another contraction hits.

“Do you want an epidural?” Bruce asks as a tech comes in with the ultrasound machine. 

“I don’t know...just slow them down till he gets here, please!” She begs. 


	157. Bucky's Regret

“What the fuck is going on?” Bucky demands as Clint escorts him out of the hotel in haste.

“Don’t know. I was told to get you home now. Once we’re on the jet you can call Bruce -“

“Bruce? Why?” Bucky demands. His first thought is something happened to Chase. His second is something happened to the boys. His third is something happened to all three of them and he’s about to go fucking apeshit. 

“Don’t know, Buck,” Clint says pushing him onto the jet. “Buckle in. I was told to get you home fast.”

Bucky snaps in and gets out his phone. There’s no answer when he calls Chase and he’s scared shitless now.

His phone rings a minute later from a number he doesn’t recognize. 

“Chase?”

“It’s Bruce. Are you on your way home?”

“What’s going on? Is she okay? Can I talk to her?”

“She’s in labor, Buck. You’re going to be a daddy very soon. Are you on the jet?”

“A daddy...what? She’s okay?” Bucky can’t think clearly. Chase is in labour. She’s in labour...wait...it’s too soon…

“She’s agitated and scared and she’s refusing to push till you get here.”

“It’s too soon! No! Don’t let anything happen to them, Bruce! It’s too soon!”

“Yeah...just get home safe. Here, talk to her.”

“Bucky?” It’s Chase’s voice. She’s clearly in pain. 

“Kitten, I’m coming home. Right now. I’ll be there as fast as Clint can fly me. You stay calm and let Bruce take care of you, okay? I’m coming home to you, Chase.”

“I want you to be here,” she sobs. He starts to cry, too. “Fly faster,” he orders Clint.

“Aye, aye, Captain,” Clint snaps. 

“Breathe, Chase. You’re not fully dilated yet, we still have time,” Bruce says. He must have taken the phone back.

“How long till she delivers? Is she alright? Have you given her anything?”

“Another few hours probably, she’s uncomfortable and moody, and just something to take the edge off,” Bruce answers. Bucky blows out a sigh of relief.

“Are the boys okay? It’s too soon, right?”

“They grew faster than predicted because of the super soldier serum, Buck. They’re fully developed from the ultrasound results and from how low she’s carrying she’s about to pop.”

“ETA is less than an hour, Buck,” Clint calls back to him. 

“Put her on the phone for me, Bruce. Please.”

“Bucky?” 

“Hey, kitten. Clint says in less than an hour I’ll be home. Breathe like we practiced, okay? I’ll be home with you soon. I love you, sweetheart. I love you more than anything,” he tells her as the tears spill. He would sell his soul right now if it meant he’d get home to her sooner. 

“Oh god…I love you too...Jesus Fuck!”

“Breathe, Chase.” 

That was Tony’s voice. He hears a slew of expletives coming from Chase and the distinctive sound of someone laughing, probably Pepper. 

“I’m coming home, sweetheart -“

“Hang it up, turbulence,” Clint yells back.

“I love you. I’ll see you soon,” he says hanging up quickly. He’s dying inside. Before he left he was able to feel one of his boys kick. It was hard enough it knocked the breath out of Chase. He never thought about the consequences of the serum with her and the babies. He feels horrible now. He could have put her at risk. He could have put the boys at risk…what was he thinking? 


	158. Welcome James Buchanan Barnes, Jr. and Anthony Steven Barnes

As soon as the jet touches down Bucky is out of his seat and all but prying the door open to get out. He’s inside the interior of the tower in seconds, running like Hell is hot on his heels. 

By the time he’s at the medical wing he’s out of breath and his ribs and lungs feel like they’re on fire. 

“Where is she?” He demands as he runs up to a nurse. 

“Who?”

“Chase Barnes!”

“Chase...Stark? Three doors down on the left,” the nurse instructs. Bucky rockets down the hall and into the room.

“Kitten!”

“Bucky!” She cries when she sees him.

“Now will you push? You have to push, Chase,” Tony pleads. 

Bucky moves everyone out of the way to get to Chase. He gives her his hands for her to squeeze as she bears down. 

“I can see a head,” Bruce sings. 

“Push, sweetheart. You can do this,” he whispers to her. She’s struggling. He can see her heart rate is elevated on the monitors. There’s a fetal monitor on her belly and based on what it shows, the boys’ heart rates are elevated too. She’s got a death grip on both of his hands as she starts to push again. 

Bucky hears the first cry of his newborn son. Chase leans back trying to catch her breath. 

“Chase...push hard now,” Bruce commands. Chase yells as she pushes again. Bucky barely sees them carry Baby Bucky off to get cleaned up.

“Suction!” Bruce yells. 

“What’s wrong?” Chase cries forcing herself to sit up.

”Bruce,” Bucky says letting go of one of Chase’s hands to see what’s happening. Then they hear the baby cry. Chase slumps back onto the bed and sighs in relief. Another nurse takes Baby Barnes to get cleaned up. 

“Congratulations, you’re the proud parents of twin boys,” Bruce says merrily. Bucky is elated. He leans down and kisses Chase. She’s exhausted. There’s more fussing, the sounds of the twins crying in unison can be heard as the nurses bring them back into the room. They sit Chase up and let her take the oldest and Bucky takes the youngest. Tears fill his eyes as he cradles his newborn son. 

“They’re perfect,” Bucky whispers. He sits on the edge of the bed facing Chase watching as she cradles Baby Bucky.

”He’s James, Jr., right?” Bucky asks looking for confirmation. Chase smiles.

“He is. You’re Baby Bucky, little man,” she coos as she plays with the baby’s fingers. 

“What do we name this handsome fella?”

“Anthony Steven Barnes,” Chase says without hesitation. Bucky nods his head in approval. 

“Welcome to the world, boys,” he says softly. 


	159. No Regrets, Bucky

Chase is holding baby Steve while Bucky plays with little JB. Bucky’s got tears in his eyes as JB coos and gurgles at his daddy. 

“I put you at risk,” he says softly. Chase isn’t sure she heard him correctly.

“What?”

“I put you and the boys at risk. I didn’t think about the consequences of the serum when...I could have lost all of you because of my stupidity.”

She sees the tears stream down his face. She’s perplexed at what brought this on.

“Bucky, we’re okay. Bruce checked everyone out. I absorbed some of the serum, the boys carry it in their DNA makeup, and from the way he made it sound we’re all a little better for it. They’re just going to grow up a little faster than usual kids.”

“It could have turned out badly, though, Chase. Something could have happened -”

“But it didn’t,” she says cutting him off. He’s working himself up into a panic attack, she can see he’s breathing heavily and the sweat has already started to bead on his brow.  “Look at me, James,” she says firmly. He looks at her, his eyes full of pain and tears. “Do I look hurt beyond the stresses of child bearing?”

“No,” he says softly. She smiles.

“Look at your two beautiful sons. Do they look hurt?”

He looks from Steve to JB and back, a smile slowly forming on his lips.

“No.”

“Do they look anything less than perfect?” she continues. He looks up at her again, this time the smile is genuine and pure.

“They’re absolutely perfect. Like their momma.”

“I didn’t make them on my own, baby. They have you to thank, too,” she reminds him. She sees him swallow the lump in his throat as he gently glides his fingers over JB’s little blue hatted head. 

“Thank you, Chase.”

“For what?” 

“Everything.”


	160. The Last Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long one, folks. Thanks for sticking with it. I know I've been AWOL for a bit, and I'm sorry. For all of you hoping for a happy ending, I offer this.

Bucky is pacing nervously in the dressing area. Steve and Clint are there trying their best to keep him calm. 

“Your tie is crooked,” Steve tells him. Bucky’s hands are shaking so badly he can’t fix it. Steve shakes his head and helps him. Everyone is dressed to the nines for the big day. Today Bucky and Chase get married. He hasn’t seen her or the boys in almost a week. Tony and Pepper absconded them with the bullshit story that it was in preparations for the wedding. Chase had called him nearly every hour on the hour and put the phone on speaker with her, Pepper and the boys so Bucky could talk to them and hear them. They’re doing a lot of baby talking gibberish. Chase talks to them like they’re mini adults and to Bucky that’s the funniest goddamn thing in the world because the three of them hold conversations that no one understands and he misses them so very much.

“Stop. You’re going to see her in less than an hour, man,” Clint tells him again. 

“And today she becomes Mrs. James Buchanan Barnes,” Steve reminds him. 

“I know. I know...I just...she’ll show up? Tony won’t hold her and the boys hostage will he?” 

“They’re already here, Buck,” Natasha says coming into the room. She’s dressed in one of the bridesmaid gowns Chase and Pepper had chosen. It’s a hunter green throw back to the mid 40’s and Bucky and Steve both need a moment to take in what Natasha looks like. Steve’s all stupid smiles suddenly. 

“They are? She’s here? And JB and Steve?” Bucky asks looking for confirmation. Natasha smiles as she pecks big Steve on the cheek.

“Tony’s convinced Rhodey and Sam to help the twins trot down the aisle,” Natasha says with a grand smile. “They’re in the cutest little tuxedos.”

Bucky’s knees get weak. His boys are in tuxes. He can’t wait to see this. 

“How is Chase? Have you seen her, Nat?” Bucky asks worriedly. 

“She’s nervous, too. She and Pepper are both crying and Tony is about to kill them both.”

“Why are they crying? What’s wrong?” Bucky demands. Clint shakes his head and laughs.

“Because they’re excited and nervous. This is a huge day for Chase, Buck. This is her day more than anything. Thank god Nat was there with Laura when she and I got married because I think Laura would have run off,” Clint jokes. Natasha laughs.

“She was very close,” she agrees. 

“See? So long as you’re up there with a big smile on your face and you’re happy and excited to see her, that’s all that matters, man,” Clint tells him. 

“Tony’s still walking her down the aisle I take it?” big Steve asks. 

“There is no way in hell anyone will stop him from walking Chase down the aisle,” Natasha says. “It’s almost time. Fix your tie, Steve. I’ll see you soon,” she says kissing big Steve quickly and then leaving. 

“It’s time,” Rhodey says popping into the room a second later with little Steve in his arms. Little Steve is smooshing Rhodey’s cheeks and laughing maniacally. Bucky hears Chase’s laugh coming out of him. It’s almost the exact same and this makes his heart beat faster. 

“Sam has JB?” big Steve asks.

“Sam and JB are having a Mexican stare off right now,” Rhodey laughs. “He’s been aptly named.”

“Ha. Ha,” Bucky grumbles. Clint and Steve are snickering and Bucky eventually cracks a grin, too. JB knows a shithead when he sees one.

Rhodey disappears with a still laughing little Steve and he, big Steve and Clint head to the front to take their places. 

The priest is already waiting for them, dressed in traditional Roman Catholic garb, the church is nearly empty save for the few people he and Chase wanted to have here. The bridesmaids are lined up already - Pepper as the maid of honor, Natasha and Maria Hill rounding out the rest. 

“Sorry I’m late.”

“Better late than never, kid,” big Steve says as Peter tries to finish tying the bow on his own tux. 

“Thanks for coming, kid,” Bucky tells him and pats him on the shoulder.

“Wouldn’t have missed it for the world, Mr. Barnes,” Peter beams. 

The procession starts, and Bucky sees JB and little Steve toddling down the aisle in mini tuxedos looking dapper as hell followed by Sam and Rhodey who are trying to keep the twins on the path.  Bucky’s all in a tizzy right now. Next comes the flower girl, Clint’s daughter, throwing rose petals down. Then comes Clint’s son as the ring bearer. The music starts and Bucky is not at all surprised that Chase went with something non-traditional. 

“What is this song?” big Steve asks.

“A Thousand Years,” Clint whispers.

“Shush,” Bucky hisses. The doors open and Chase and Tony appear in the doorway. Bucky swoons a bit. She looks like a vision of heaven. Tony has her by the arm and the two walk slowly down the aisle. A Thousand Years is the song she chose. Ten thousand years, he thinks. Twenty. A hundred. It’s not long enough. The closer she gets, the closer to heaven he gets. She’s perfect. 

She and Tony reach the front and Bucky wipes his eyes. Tony steps back and takes his place. 

The priest begins his discourse, but Bucky can only focus on Chase. She’s his vision in white, his angel, his heart and soul. 

She smiles lovingly at him, he sees her mouth the words  _ I love you. _

“Will the ring bearer please come forward?” the priest asks. Clint’s son steps up with the rings he and Chase were gifted from T’Challa and Shuri. A matching vibranium set, engraved with their wedding date on the inside. 

“Do you, Chase Anabelle Stark, take this man, James Buchanan Barnes, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, in good times and bad till death do you part?”

“I do.”

She didn’t even hesitate. The words were already on her lips before the priest even finished his question, Bucky could see that. 

“And do you, James Buchanan Barnes, take Chase Anabelle Stark, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, in good times and bad till death do you -”

“I do.”

“Part,” the priest finishes. Bucky grins embarrassed. Chase is smiling excitedly and he can hear chuckling around him. He doesn’t care. He’s been dying to say those words since she agreed to marry him. 

“Repeat after me, James,” the priest instructs as he hands Bucky the ring for Chase, “with this ring, I thee wed.”

“With this ring, I thee wed,” Bucky repeats as he places the ring on Chase’s finger. 

“Now you, Chase,” the priest says handing her Bucky’s ring. “With this ring, I thee wed.”

“With this ring, I thee wed,” she repeats as she puts his ring on his finger. 

“If there is anyone here who has reason to contest this union let them speak now or forever hold their peace,” the priest says. There is silence. Even the twins are quiet for a moment. 

“Then I now pronounce you -”

“ _ Daddy!!”  _  little Steve yells from Sam’s lap. 

“Too late, little sir, they’re married,” the priest jokes. Chase and Bucky both laugh as does everyone else. 

“Dada!” JB cries. “Ma!”

“I now pronounce you man and wife,” the priest resumes. “You may kiss the bride.”

Bucky steps towards Chase, pulls her into his arms and kisses her. When he lets her go, both of them are crying. 

“I love you!” she cries putting her arms around him. He holds her tightly.

“I love you, Mrs. Barnes.”

“Enough formality,” Tony says getting up. “Let’s party.”

“Pictures first,” Pepper scolds him. 

“Oh god,” Chase groans just loud enough that Bucky can hear her. 

“You look amazing, kitten. I want all the pictures and thousands of wallets to take with me everywhere.”

“Take that up with the wedding planner over there,” Chase laughs pointing to Pepper who is bantering with Tony about something. Bucky grins and kisses her again. 

The photos take almost an hour to do. Chase is getting antsy and he can’t blame her. The boys are wound up and climbing all over everything and somebody taught little Steve the word shit today so now every three seconds you can hear the word shit being sang. 

They get to the reception hall finally. It’s decorated in a mockup of a 1940s reception. 

“You’re an old soul, Chase,” Bucky muses looking around. He’s tickled by the decorations. So is big Steve from the looks of things. 

“And now for the first dance. Clear the floor for Mr. and Mrs. Barnes, folks,” the DJ orders. The area clears and Bucky takes Chase’s hand and walks to the center of the dance floor with her. 

The music starts playing and Bucky pauses.

“As Time Goes By?”

“Do you recognize the song?” she asks with a smile. He grins. Of course he does. He puts his arms around her as they start to dance.

“I do, kitten. I love it.”

“I love you, Bucky.”

“I love you, too, Chase.”

She puts her head on his shoulder and sighs. Everything seems to have faded to the background for Bucky. Right now it’s just he and Chase. 

“I have something to tell you,” she whispers.

“Is it a secret?” 

“It won’t be once I tell you, silly,” she says playfully.

“Alright, folks! Time for the toast!” the DJ calls as the song ends. Bucky tilts his head and studies Chase. She has the smile on her face, and he knows something is up. 

They seat themselves at the table and once it’s calmed down Steve stands up to do the toast.

“I found this quote the other day and I can’t think of anything more fitting for these two -  _ One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. _ It was said by Sophocles. I’ve know Buck damn near my whole life. To know that after all the trials and tribulations he gets his happy ending….no one deserves this more than he does. And I can’t think of anyone more perfect for him than Chase. I wish you two the absolute best. May you never want for anything and may your love inspire the world.”

Bucky has to bite his lip to keep from crying. Chase is already in tears. Everyone applauds. Steve has tears in his eyes, too. Bucky stands up and hugs the man he considers his brother. Chase is on her feet, she steps around Buck and hugs Steve, too. 

“Thanks, kid,” Bucky says softly. Steve grins and smacks him on the shoulder. 

“You deserve it, Buck.”

The reception carries on, the food is served and Chase still hasn’t said anything more about what she has to tell Bucky. He’s tried to coerce it out of her a few times, but she just smiles and kisses him. 

The boys are all over the board. Sometimes they’re on Chase or Bucky’s lap, sometimes they’re hanging all over Uncle Tony or Uncle Steve, sometimes JB is staring at Sam like he’s plotting about shitting in Sam’s shoes….

“I missed you and the kids, kitten. They look so goddamn cute.”

“We missed you, baby. A lot. Although, I can’t say I’m impressed that they now know the word shit and that’s the third word in their vocabulary.”

Bucky laughs.

“Trials and tribulations of parenthood I guess,” he tells her. She smiles sweetly. “You’re a vision from heaven, you know that, right?”

“Seeing you all dressed up is a treat, Mr. Barnes. You look like a dashing secret agent.”

“Don’t tell anyone, Mrs. Barnes, but I can be one if the need arises,” he jokes. Chase laughs. He loves the sound still. Little Steven laughs from Pepper’s lap and it’s nearly identical. Bucky is elated. 

The sound of someone tapping silver to crystal quiets the room - everyone but the twins, at least. 

“It’s time for our dance, Chase,” Tony announces. Chase stands up.

“I have a song picked out for us, Tony,” she says. She motions to the DJ who nods his head. Tony leads Chase to the floor and the song begins.  Pepper takes Chase’s seat next to Bucky with JB in her arms. JB reaches for his daddy and Bucky takes him.

“She wanted this song especially for Tony,” Pepper says. “She made him cry,” she says pointing covertly to Tony and Chase. Sure enough as the song Wind Beneath My Wings plays Bucky can see tears streaming from Tony’s eyes as he and Chase dance. 

“He loves her and she loves him, Pepper. They’re family. They will always be family.”

“You’re family, too, James,” Pepper tells him.

“Then call me Bucky.”

She smiles.

“You’re family, too, Bucky.”

“Daddy,” JB whimpers as he buries his face into Bucky’s chest. 

“I know, buddy, it’s getting late for you,” Bucky whispers as he rubs his son’s back. 

Steve somehow managed to catch little Steve and has him tucked under his arm while little Steve laughs hysterically at this.

“He has her personality. He is Chase right down to the damn core,” Steve laughs as he sits down with little Steve.

“You have no idea,” Pepper says. “And when the two of them get a wild hair….”

Both Bucky and Steve laugh. Little Steve is trying to throw food off of big Steve’s plate. Then he reaches for Natasha. 

“Wipe your hands,” Bucky tells him. Little Steve looks at his hands then shows them to big Steve and laughs more. 

“Chase,” both Bucky and Steve say together. 

The dance finishes and Chase and Pepper exchange seats. Bucky hands an almost asleep JB to Chase and then helps Steve wipe little Steve’s hands off so little Steve can annoy Natasha. 

“He likes tits, Nat, just so you know,” Chase warns her. Natasha has little Steve out at arms length and little Steve is furiously opening and closing his hands trying to get closer to Natasha. Steve finds this incredibly humourous.

“I will kick your ass, Steve,” Natasha growls. 

“Ass!” little Steve yells.

“Shit,” Natasha groans.

“So you’re the one,” Bucky says laughing as Natasha shakes her head. She hands little Steve to Bucky, but she’s laughing, too.

“Sorry. It slipped and now he knows four words.”

“Hooray. Daddy, Ma, shit and ass,” Chase says and then giggles. 

The reception finally winds down. Chase threw the bouquet to Pepper, literally, and Pepper made sure to put it in front of Tony who smiled and kissed her cheek while congratulating her. 

“We’ll take the boys,” Pepper says taking JB from Chase. JB is passed out. Tony has little Steve who is so tired he’s overtired and he’s a lunatic. He’s climbing all over Tony and Tony now has him by his ankles trying to pull him back into his arms. 

“Are you sure?” Bucky asks as he watches little Steve worm his way around Tony while Tony tries to keep at least on hand on him.

“We’ve got this. I think,” Tony says putting little Steve on his shoulders.

“If they get out of hand call us, Tony,” Chase tells him. Tony rolls his eyes.

“We’ll be alright,” Tony tells her again. He kisses her cheek and then does something that surprises Bucky. He extends his hand. Bucky takes it and they shake.

“I’ll call you tomorrow,” Chase says as she and Bucky head to the limo. Bucky booked them a suite at the Plaza. It’s not the honeymoon he wanted for them, but she’d pushed back on the honeymoon idea till he’d finally relented and settled on this. He still doesn’t understand why.

They get to the room and step inside.

“For the love of god get me the fuck out of this thing,” she begs. He laughs and helps her out of the dress. 

“Still the most beautiful woman in the universe,” he marvels as she stands in front of him in just a strapless bra and panties. 

“You’re biased.”

“Nope.”

“You sure about that?”

“Yup.”

“Even after we have another baby?” she asks softly. Bucky tilts his head and grins.

“Really?”

“Really.”

He scoops her up into his arms and lavishes her with kisses. She’s giggling and squirming trying to get him to stop.

“When did you find out? How far along? Is this why you didn’t want to go on a honeymoon?” 

“I found out last week. I had a hunch, which is why I didn’t want to promise anything with a honeymoon. I wasn’t sure….” she motions to her belly. 

“Are you okay? No nausea? You seem alright…” he puts her down and holds her out at arms length so he can look her over. She looks fucking amazing. 

“So far so good. You’re daughter seems to be a little more settled than your sons were.”

“D-daughter?” he stammers.

“Pretty sure.”

Bucky’s knees buckle. 

“No, no. Come on, sit down,” she says trying not to laugh. She helps him to the couch and they sit down together. 

“Pink bows? A daddy’s girl?” 

“Oh I’m sure she’s going to be a daddy’s girl. Just like JB is you’re goddamn clone.”

“Have you seen little Steve? Little Anthony Steven who is a male version of you right down to your laugh?” he responds with grin. Chase chuckles a little.

“He’s a shit.”

“He comes by it honestly.”

“Yeah, from your side.”

“Listen here, smartass.”

She cocks her head to the side  like she’s listening to him. He puckers his lips then pounces on her. 

By the end of the night Chase is sound asleep. Bucky has his arms around her, listening to her slow, rhythmic breathing. He’s officially married to the love of his life. He has two of the most handsome boys as his sons and he’s going to be a father again in probably about seven months or so. After everything he’s been through, after all the pain he’s caused and the pain he’s endured, after everything that’s happened he gets to be happy. He gets to be loved and give love. He gets to be human again. 


End file.
